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Get Out of My Head!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Last night I managed to get through my entire run, albeit with a tiny bit of hip soreness (need to get a chiro appointment STAT) and then did 1 of the two Rockin' Body routines I had planned. I knew there was no way I was making it through #2 after that run. I always forget how completely sore those can make me...especially in the beginning. After my workout, I immediately set to work on dinner.

Sausage and Cabbage "Noodles" with Fried Apples

Completely Paleo and probably one of the best things I've eaten in a LONG time. Hubs couldn't stop commenting on how amazing it was. This is going into our regular routine! Of course, I doubt my youngest would have eaten it (though he would have eaten the apples I'm sure), but we didn't have to worry about that last night as they went up to G'mas to visit their Great Aunt and Cousin who are in from California for a few days for their annual visit. I came back in the door from my run and heard, "Welp, the boys are gone for a bit." (Mentally, I said: "YAY!" because I knew Ethan couldn't spoil my dinner that way. Sad, I know, but that damn child is so picky and it hurts my feelings when he doesn't eat what I know is both yummy and healthy.)

I didn't eat Paleo all day though. I got hungry again after work (forgot to add tuna to my snack salad after lunch) and ended up with a McChicken sandwich. *face/palm* I know I need to start planning a bit better for these long shifts again, but it's going to be a moot point in a couple weeks. I was actually under on calories for the day, though.

Calories Consumed: 2270
Calories Burned: 747
Net Calories: 1523

That's actually getting dangerously low. The scale was down a bit from yesterday morning, but I have to admit I'm a bit nervous for weigh-in this week. Funny, but this time it's not from not following my plan, but from following it too perfectly and ended up on the lower end of my ranges.

Friday: About 2200 calories consumed, burned 653 = net of 1547
Saturday: About 2565 consumed, burned 440 = net of 2125
Sunday: Unknown
Monday: About 2596 consumed, burned 1292 = net of 1304
Tuesday: About 2270 consumed, burned 747 = net of 1523

What I have to keep reminding myself is that I came up with my range (2200-2700) based upon the assumption that I would workout 3-5 hours in the week. So far I've worked out for 254 minutes, or 4 hours and 14 minutes total. There is still tonight and tomorrow's workouts to contend with and I have scheduled another 115 minutes of Rockin' Body and another 60 minutes of other cardio (one swim and one run). That will put me over my assumption by 2 hours. My options are: (1) eat more to make up for the extra exercise, (2) back off the exercise a bit, or (3) just do it and stop thinking so much...and maybe end up with a loss, or maybe a gain, or maybe nothing on the scale on Friday. I have yet to decide what to do, but I know that the intensity of my workouts is going to fade a bit the next 2 days.

I'm beat. My body is sore. My hip is in discomfort, which I'm hoping the chiro will help with, but it means no run tomorrow. I still plan on getting out there and walking the full 30 minutes, but I know better than to run on it right now. My legs are out of sorts, and my shoulders are sore as well. Last week it was my abs screaming, but this week it's mostly my legs and shoulders. So swimming tonight is going to be more relaxed than ever. I'll put my 30 minutes in, and I can't promise I won't push myself a tiny bit, but I'm going to try to soak in the hot tub an extra 5 minutes at least after my swim. And I don't think I'll do more than one RB routine tonight as well. My body needs some rest, so I'm going to back off just a bit.

And as for the eating more thing? Doesn't help that I was late getting out the door again this AM and skipped breakfast...which I NEVER do. *sigh* I have oatmeal in my drawer, but I've been avoiding it. I may just take an early break and run over to Tudors for a Big Tator Platter. It's MOSTLY Paleo...if you don't count the potatoes. *lol* (It's scrambled eggs, bacon, and potatoes.) And I forgot to pack my lunch as well, but that can be solved with a trip to the market or to Tricky Fish for some Shrimp Tacos (which is what I really want today). I'll sort it out, I'm sure...but if there was ever a day to go a tiny bit off plan, I guess today would be that day. I'm just going to try not to go crazy.

So, plan for the rest of the week:

emoticon Stay on the higher ends of my range (around 2600-2700)
emoticon Turn Thursday's run into a walk
emoticon Back off the RB routines just a bit (tonight, I'll do Rock It Out and tomorrow I'll hit the Dance Groove routine)
emoticon Don't give up and stay focused
emoticon And STRETCH!!

That and call to see if the Chiro can fit me in on Friday.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUGIRL06 7/11/2012 8:23PM

    You are doing great! Your body is probably just not ready for so much intense exercise. Even though we are doing the fitness challenge, I'm not trying for 2 hours of workouts each night because I know that's not where I'm at. Do what you can and eat some food woman! LoL!!

Seriously though on the food thing, I have been eating more intuitively. It is a lot easier on the Paleo diet. I'm not hungry all the time like I used to be! I am not 100% either as you know (I had shortbread cookies today!) but its close enough to keep me satiated. And when I work out more? I get hungry for more! Go figure, this is how it's supposed to work, right?

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SUSIEMT 7/11/2012 7:24PM

    Esther, you never cease to amaze me! Keep up the good work!

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MUSOLF6 7/11/2012 5:02PM

    emoticon emoticon

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LMB-ESQ 7/11/2012 1:06PM

    That recipe looks interesting. I'll have to try that. Not so sure about the apples though. Didn't know you were a paleo person! Cool!

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OFFDREA 7/11/2012 12:51PM

    That food looks amazing!!! I have bookmarked that recipe and will be trying it soon.
I hope your hip feels better.

I think I need to up my calories. I hover around 1500-1700 but I think with all this heavy lifting I should try more. I am going to work hard on that in the next couple of weeks and see if it makes a difference!

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BECKYB73 7/11/2012 12:20PM

    Few thoughts!

1. Your nails look freaking GORGEOUS!!

2. That dinner looks FABULOUS and I've printed out the recipe

3. You continue to inspire and amaze with your refusal to QUIT!

Good Day

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IRONBLOSSOM 7/11/2012 11:22AM

    You're doing so great! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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4EVERADONEGIRL 7/11/2012 10:58AM

    I love that even though you are pushing hard, you are also listening to what your body is saying and easing back or switching things up! Good job!!!! That is some model behavior right there, girlie! :-)

Keep it up!

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 7/11/2012 10:51AM

    Way to push yourself and listen to your body. Glad to hear that you are enjoying some of the paleo recipes that you have found. I'll have to check out those websites...

Rock on the rest of this week and enjoy some alone time with the HUBS!

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FROGGERHKC 7/11/2012 10:08AM

    Your dinner looked delish!!! Sorry about the hip soreness, hopefully the Chrio can help you! Way to go woman, you are doing so awesome! :)

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EGALITAIRE 7/11/2012 10:05AM

    Yep, listening to our bodies can be very valuable, and heath promoting. All the best on the menu/snack planning. Making sure I planned for contingencies was huge for me in staying on plan.

The sausage/cabbage sounds great - will try that next week.

Stay Strong

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Fan the Flames

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Today the scale was mean to me...and I know why.

Yesterday's workout:
about 24 minutes at the gym pool (about 504 yards)
followed by 3 Rockin' Body routines

Total calories burned for the day?
Around 1300


As for my food intake? Well...I wasn't exactly "good"...but I can't classify it as "bad" either.

Breakfast - Sausage McMuffin from McD's

Okay, so that wasn't all that good...but I was super late for work already and ...what can I say?

Snacks - 1 apple, 1 pear, 2 Lindor truffles, 1 20oz Sobe Water with Coconut Water thingy

*snort* I don't see the truffles as a real "bad" thing as long as I don't binge on them.

Lunch - a serving of delish Beef & Vegetable Chili from

Yum! Healthy leftovers! My favorite lunchtime treat!

Dinner - Subway 12" Cold Cut Combo with lots of lettuce, lots of pickles and some light mayo

Okay, so that's not exactly ideal...but that's exactly what I wanted...and I had the calories for it. I had just gotten out of the gym and was on my way home for another workout...the big one...the 85 minute one. I didn't see the point in starving myself only to go home and binge on cereal...which I know is what probably would've happened. So I got a subway sub and enjoyed every blasted bite.

Dinner 2 - 2 hot dogs on buns with ketchup and mustard

I honestly didn't believe I was still hungry yesterday when I got home...AFTER the sub...and BEFORE the final workout. But I was. So I ate. And then I sat on my butt for about 40 minutes before doing what I knew needed to be done.

Shaun T's Dance Party - 45 minutes - CHECK!
Booty Time - 40 minutes - making up for last week - CHECK!
Hardcore Abs - 10 minutes - CHECK!

I left my HRM running through breaks as I changed through the DVDs, so it totaled 87 minutes and 901 calories burned...more than 30% of them from fat.

All in all, I came out very ahead for the day.
And today? I feel a bit sore, but nothing like I had expected.
Of course, this will likely all hit tomorrow, which is fine for me because I have stuff to do tonight!

I WAS a little bummed at my poor performance at the pool last night, but that all melted away after my second workout. I was tired. My muscles were sore. I worked through discomfort that was NOT pain like I knew I could. I hydrated like a beast. And I came out a champion.

And I don't plan on repeating that kind of intensity in a workout for at least a few more weeks! *lol* I'm going to take it steady and slow for the rest of the week. I'm still going to do my scheduled workouts, but last night was supposed to be the "Come in like a lion" day of the week, so I can manage the rest just fine.

As for my runs? We shall see how my legs hold up. I'm scheduled to do my first week of week 2 C25k again tonight (I'm doing each week at least twice). My knees are a little wonky/stiff right now and my calves have been tightening up a bit. I stretched a lot last night and will again today, but I've already promised myself to complete the workout...even if I have to walk the entire thing. I can walk more than 2 miles without problems, so if the running is really too much, instead of giving up, I'm going to speed walk the rest...or just walk...or leisurely stroll...or crawl. Whatever I need to do to give myself the consistency I need right now. And I'll fight through the next RB routine tonight. It's nothing too bad...Party Express and Dance Groove. Dance Groove is a bit evil, but it's only 60 minutes tonight and I won't stop unless I collapse like I did last week. I proved to myself yesterday that I have more in me now. And that came only after the week I had last week, and my body telling me I had none left.

I'm using the momentum.
I refuse to back down.
Even if I go slow. Even if I take breaks. Even if I have to break up the routine into 5 minute increments with 5 minute breaks in between. I just need to show myself that I can get through it.

And all this I will do with the knowledge that tomorrow will be even better.
Laps again at the pool. I plan on sticking out the 30 minutes, even if I have to go slow or try a different stroke. Followed by only 45 minutes at home.

I know some of you are wondering why I push myself so hard.
You think I'm punishing myself.
But that's not it. Not at all.
To me, it's not about punishment - it's about accomplishment.
I'm not punishing my body...I'm letting it prove to me that it has more in it than I constantly give it credit for.
I'm showing myself that I can keep going even when it seems like it's hard.

Because too often in the past year or so, I've given up when it got hard.
I've backed down off the fight.
And that's just not who I am.

This is me being kind to myself.
I'm not telling myself that I have to be 100% all the time.
I'm going back to my rule that all I have to do is show up and stick it out for the time allotted.
And not for pounds on the scale or inches off the waist.
None of that matters each time I do it.
It's the pride I feel in completing something.
It's the pure sense of knowing that I can, when others have counted me out.

It may be foolish, but it's what's working for me.

Many times in this journey I've asked myself how I'm going to keep this up the rest of my life.
Because that's what I have to look forward to. This isn't some diet phase of my's something I have to learn to commit to for the long haul - until the grave finds me.
There's no use fretting over the blessings I didn't receive, the curses I feel have touched me.
No, I cannot eat whatever I want and maintain a slammin' physique.
No, I will never know what it's like to be a skinny teen.
But I have to go back to why I started this. So I could do whatever the hell I wanted to do without anyone telling me I couldn't because of my weight.
Sure, there may be other reasons to not do things, but my weight and fitness level will NOT be one of them. Not if I have anything to do with it.
And I do.

I have everything to do with it.
And I'm doing it.

So, yes, I'm pushing hard this week.
And, no, I can't see myself pushing this hard every week for the rest of my life.
But I CAN see myself having a few weeks of madness followed by a few months of calm reserve and quiet determination.
I have never been one who was known for standing still.
I must always be moving and changing - improving myself inside and out.
And my focus shifts probably too often for anyone to keep up with.

But I'm not going to fight that any longer.
I'm going to fight the notion in my head that says I have to be a different person to lose weight.

I'm a go hard or go home kinda girl.
And then sometimes I'm just a go home and hide kinda girl.
As long as I can keep the momentum going through both stages and learn how to manage both...both girls will come out alright.

Plan for dinner tonight is Sausage and Cabbage "Noodles" and Fried Apples from ...maybe.

Other upside I'm celebrating today?
My fruit bowl at home is nearly empty.
The other day Hubs asked, "Do we have anything sweet to munch on?"
I told him no. Then I caught him moments later munching on a peach.


And the fact that the apples are almost gone as well?
Just shows that him and the boys have been reaching in that bowl the past few days instead of into the cupboards for processed non-foodlike-garbage.

Don't worry - Hubs will be just fine.
I'm sure he's eating a Nutty Bar as we speak.
I left those things at his work.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUSSELLORAMA 7/10/2012 9:57PM

    You are on fiyah!


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OFFDREA 7/10/2012 3:43PM

    Amazing job on those workouts!!!!!! Do not listen if anyone tells you that you are working to hard. They probably aren't working hard enough. If you don't challenge your body it won't change! Switching up your intensity keeps the body guessing! You are doing everything right!!!! And now I really want Subway.....

Comment edited on: 7/10/2012 3:44:42 PM

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MUSOLF6 7/10/2012 3:08PM

    emoticon emoticon

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EGALITAIRE 7/10/2012 2:50PM

    Wow you've really got it going on - you know what works for you, so keep the positive attitude and you will make your goals.

Stay Strong

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IRONBLOSSOM 7/10/2012 2:49PM

    Awesome! Love the "fanning of the flames!"

It's amazing to me how quickly motivation can accumulate and then dissipate. Even on an hour to hour basis I'm either motivated to do ALL the workouts, or put on my fat jammies and pop a metric ton of popcorn while I watch whatever's on tv...

Yesterday, the metric ton of food won out, today, ALL the workouts! :-) (Well, my running and core workouts anyway.)

Let's go do it to it!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GUITARWOMAN 7/10/2012 2:26PM

    Now THAT"S positive!

Good luck with your fitness goals!


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HEALTH-E-CLARE 7/10/2012 2:00PM

    "I hydrated like a beast. And I came out a champion.

It's the pride I feel in completing something.
It's the pure sense of knowing that I can, when others have counted me out. "


I love the workouts and the head space that you are in right now. You are totally a champion and winning at it.

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4EVERADONEGIRL 7/10/2012 1:46PM

    Keep fanning because your spark is turning into a wildfire girlfriend!!!! Keep it up!

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SUGIRL06 7/10/2012 1:46PM

    Can I please please have the chili recipe? Its making me hungry now that you've mentioned it in like 3 blogs! LOL
And I love this blog! You can do this! Use that momentum! My "momentum" is telling myself I have to work out every day, no excuses (but I always end up averaging 5 days a week). We can do this!

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Let the Challenge(s) Begin!

Monday, July 09, 2012

So I've got 2 accountability challenges starting today. Perfect timing too because a horrible toothache/headache and exhaustion from the heat had me thinking I just should skip the workout and go home and sleep. HELL NO! I'm not starting off a challenge like that. Certainly not TWO of them!

=== === === === === ===
Challenge #1

emoticon My starting weight is [309.8]. (6/29)

emoticonI'm going to make July and the rest of summer great by [sticking to BOTH my healthy eating and workout plans! No excuses now that there is power and running water!].

emoticonMy weight loss goal for the summer is [285.8 (by first day of fall - September 22nd)].

emoticonMy fitness goals for the summer are [C25k (run), 0 to 1650 (swim), Rockin' Body and 30DS (ST)].

emoticonMy nutrition goals for the summer are [learn to eat mostly Paleo, stop eating out as much, and stay within my calorie goals even when I fall off plan].

emoticonI often go off-track when [my workouts aren't working for me].

emoticonI am going to remain accountable this summer by [sticking to my workouts, which always helps me stay on track, and checking in here and with several FB accountability partners - AND - WRITING IT DOWN! Making myself write down my progress helps me visualize what's working and what isn't.].

Will you be tracking this summer? [YES!!] If so, what are your daily calorie goals and weekly fitness minute goals?

emoticon Daily Calorie Goals - 2100-2750 avg cals per day
emoticon Weekly Fitness Minutes - 180-300 minutes per week

Sign here: I, [Esther], pledge to eat wisely and slowly and avoid binging this summer whenever possible. I vow to drink my water and to turn to clean food for snacks as a first resort (fruit, nuts, veggies) but not feel horrible about myself when I eat too many "bad" foods, because it is not the end of the world. Whenever I don't feel like exercising, I will at the very least commit to a brisk walk.

=== === === === === ===


The first week of a challenge is always exciting, but I am going to commit to checking in every week until 9/9.

emoticon I need a challenge because [I do NOT want to go hard and burn out. I need to remember that it's a continual process, not just a few days' commitment].

emoticon By the end of this week, I want to feel [like I been consistent in my efforts of moving toward my goal].

emoticon My big nutrition goal for this week is going to be [eliminating as many grains and dairy and processed foods as possible from my diet].

emoticon My big fitness goal for the week is going to be [sticking to my workouts as scheduled - at least 2x in the pool, 3x on runs, and 5x doing ST through Rockin' Body workouts].

emoticon My big wellness goal for the week is going to be [getting plenty of sleep each night so I'm ready for the next day].

emoticon My biggest challenge in meeting these goals will be [ignoring the pressure I constantly put on myself].

emoticon If I meet all my goals this week, I'm going to reward myself with [a trip to ON for something new].

emoticon If I don't meet my goals, I'm NOT going to get discouraged and quit. I will count every step forward as progress toward the end game.

=== === === === === ===

The second challenge is with a bunch of people I know and a bunch I don't know on a FB group. I really need to reread the rules and download the Google Doc tonight so I can start recording my workouts. It's a fitness-based challenge wherein we earn points for workouts we do. This should work out (HA! PUN!) great as my burnout last week needs to be built upon, not used as an excuse to give up for a few days.

emoticon Activity Types: Cardio, Strength or Combination.

emoticon Duration Points: 1 point per 10 minutes of workout with a total of 6 points (1 hour) for each activity and a max of 12 points (2 hours) each day.

emoticon Intensity Bonus: Only awarded for high-intensity cardio. You earn 1 bonus point per half hour of HI cardio.

emoticon Combination Bonus: Earn this automatically if you do a combination workout (cardio + strength). One point per half hour.

Max points per day: 16

=== === === === === ===

This week's plan:

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Monday - Laps W3D1 & Rockin' Body (BT (40) + STDP (45) + HCA (10) = 95 mins)
Tuesday - C25k W2D1 & Rockin' Body (PE (25) + DG (35) = 60 mins)
Wednesday - Laps W3D1 & Rockin' Body (RIO = 45 mins)
Thursday - C25k W2D2 & Rockin' Body (PE (25) + HCA (10) = 35 mins)
Friday - Yoga DVD (30m) & Rockin' Body (STDP = 45 mins)
Saturday - C25k W2D3 (Rockin' Body ONLY if I feel up to it)
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Lap and run time is usually around 30 minutes, so we're looking at:

Monday - 30m cardio, 95m combo = 11pts
Tuesday - 30m cardio, 60m combo = 11pts
Wednesday - 30m cardio, 45m combo = 8pts
Thursday - 30m cardio, 35m combo = 7pts
Friday - 30m strength, 45m combo = 8pts
Saturday - 30m cardio = 3pts

Goal: 48 points

25+ = bubble bath
35+ = new nail polish color + bubble bath
45+ = new polish + skin care item + bubble bath
48+ = new polish + skin care item + bubble bath + item from Old Navy


Also on the agenda for this week -
* Lots of healthy Paleo cooking. I made a beef and veg chili yesterday that was amazing!
* Ethan's pool party on Saturday.
* And probably the drive-in on Friday night...we're going to have to make sure I either have ROOM for some unhealthy foods, or I pack a bunch of friggin' fruits and veggies to munch on! *lol*

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KARVY09 7/10/2012 1:50PM

    Nice work. I need to figure out that spreadsheet too. Yesterday was a rest day, so I didn't look at it yet...

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SUGIRL06 7/10/2012 1:40PM

    Great plan! Is that other challenge Karvy's thing? I have to comment bomb her page soon too!

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4EVERADONEGIRL 7/10/2012 11:23AM

    You are gonna rock this summer, girl!!!

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GUITARWOMAN 7/9/2012 9:39PM

    Great goals!

You can do this, I am sure.


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WALLAHALLA 7/9/2012 7:43PM

    Go to it!

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FROGGERHKC 7/9/2012 6:18PM

    Two challenges! You rock woman! :)

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    I need to do a lot more reading about that other challenge as well. I've looked at the spreadsheet and that is about it. I still don't know what I should actually be doing. One step at a time...

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Back That Thing Up!

Saturday, July 07, 2012

Lesson One:
Only trust people who like big butts...they cannot lie.


Happy Weekend everyone!

So far so good for me. I had a minor meltdown last night. Okay, strike that. I had a MAJOR meltdown last night, collapsing after the first 25 minute workout and before the 40 minute one that was to follow and crying into the blanket on the couch. It was a major breaking point for me...and a huge boost to my feeling of support from those closest to me as my cat rubbed up against me and meowed for me to stop crying, my husband rubbed my sweat-drenched back and told me over and over again that I was NOT, as I was insisting at the time, a "loser," and my youngest son combing back my hair with his fingers and telling me how proud I should be of myself for what I had done.

Truth is? I broke.

My body was sore. Exhausted. Done.

And my mind was right behind.

After work I went to the gym with the small pool. I HATE that pool. The water is murky and you can't see the bottom. You can't even see the side when you get close to it. What IS that? That's gross! And the two women doing...well, I THINK they were trying to do water aerobics but from what I saw they were just standing at the side of the pool talking, blocking any chance I had to do long lengths of the tiny pool...well, they were just MAPP (more annoying pool people). I could've just given in and given up. I had no clue the length of the pool - and those two women were not about to give up their spots so I could do anything resembling laps down the length of it. So I took the short side. Almost ridiculous how short across it was. I didn't even need to take a breath to cross it. (Of course, my air supply is impressive anyhow thanks to years of singing.) I felt lost, but not defeated. I went on do to about 30 fast laps, then did 12, then 8, then 6, then 4. I went all out. I figured I'd work on my breathing and my form and my speed and forget the distance for one day. Even when one of those women came down and walked right in my path for NO apparent reason *roll eyes*, I kept going until I felt I was done. Then I soaked for about 5 minutes in the hot tub to relax my tired muscles, stretched, and got changed to go home...where I was set to workout for another hour.

I KNEW this week was going to be a challenge...but I also knew I needed to challenge both my body and my mental image of what it was possible for me to do. I need this every once in a while. I need a full on push. No excuses. Just GO! It's the only way I realize if I've improved my stamina. The only way I challenge my muscles to build up some stamina power of their own. I honestly don't know that I've EVER pushed it this hard before.

And I might have been alright had I fueled properly. But Hubs went out with the guys when I most needed to be next to him (totally not his fault) and I took the boys out to eat, where I gave in to all my dairy and starch and grain cravings - okay, not all of them, but a few too many. And I felt the effects of that almost immediately. My body starting shutting down in the grocery store. I was almost to the point where I could fall asleep standing up. We finally made it home and I actually paid my oldest 2 bucks to put the groceries away for me while I collapsed on the couch.

But it was one of those "Unless you puke, faint, or die - Don't Quit!" days. So around 10pm, I rolled off the couch and put on my workout clothes and started my Rockin' Body routines for the day. But after the 25 minutes of Party Express? I knew I was done. My leg was cramped up from toe to knee. My body was screaming at me and I knew I needed to much as I didn't want to. So I did fall into a heap on the couch. I didn't puke or faint or die, but I collapsed into a heap and broke down sobbing and that's when I knew I was done. I couldn't hold it together any longer. I had reached my breaking point.

It was just the message I needed to see this morning. And it's SO true.

I woke up this morning 2 pounds heavier (no doubt from overtraining) and, yet, much lighter. I reached my breaking point, had a meltdown, got the support and sleep I needed, and then moved the hell on. Because THAT is what you have to do in these situations. MOVE THE HELL ON!

I started this morning with a yummy scrambled egg dish with Italian sausage, onions, red pepper, and mushrooms (and a dash of cayenne pepper...a new trick I've learned). I shared it with Hubs over some coffee. And then I got on my workout clothes and went out for my scheduled run.

And even when my app messed up and I had to start over about 8 minutes in... didn't break me.
And even when the sweat stung my eyes and I realized I'd forgotten my Bondiband... didn't break me.
And even when I started feeling the heat and my toes started hurting a bit as I realized I should've never gone that far in new shoes... didn't break me.

Because I was already broken.
And I had moved the hell on.
I came home, downed a crapton of water, stretched, and sat down with a bowl of almonds and dark chocolate as a post-workout treat.

I'm rebuilding. I'm okay. I'm still here.
It broke me...but it didn't crush me.
And that was the lesson I learned. (That and the one at the top of the screen. *lol*)


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUGIRL06 7/10/2012 1:31PM

    Boy I know the feeling. Sounds like you just needed that cry-out to get the stress out. I had that little break down sans-tears on Saturday after my horrible run. Sometimes you just have to listen to your body and give it a break!

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SARAHJG33 7/9/2012 2:32PM

    Great job getting back up! emoticon

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    Great job hun! You rock, and are a ninja! I love this blog. It totally shows how strong you are! :) emoticon

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4EVERADONEGIRL 7/9/2012 2:09PM

    You ROCK!!!!!

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ERIN1128 7/8/2012 7:57PM

    OMG, love that crying quote! you always share such great wisdom. good for you for moving the hell on. :-)

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WALLAHALLA 7/8/2012 4:44PM

    Every woman needs a good cry now and then. It is therapeutic.

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-POOKIE- 7/8/2012 5:21AM

    Goodness I hate people with no notion of pool ettiqute, drives me ******** mad when I try SO hard to let people past if they are faster, share lanes, follow the designated direction etc

and then you get the twats who think the pool is theirs and sod everybody else.


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GUITARWOMAN 7/7/2012 8:34PM

    So well put!

I do appreciate your honesty and your sharing of your journey!


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MUSOLF6 7/7/2012 3:57PM

    love your blog, Have been feeling that way lately. emoticon

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LMB-ESQ 7/7/2012 2:00PM

    I think I like that rule! So it sounds like you learned a good lesson about overdoing and knowing when to stop. That doesn't make you a loser, it makes you smart.

Just FYI... I read an article a week or so ago (can't find it now, but if it turns it up, I'll post a link) about how you shouldn't swim in murky swimming pool water because it means the chemical mix is not correct and it's either dirty or at more risk for bacteria. Reminds me of a place I used to swim when I was a kid. We didn't know any better, but it was gross.

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Friday Weigh-In and Weekend Plans

Friday, July 06, 2012

Weight Last Week: 309.8
Weight This Week: 308.2

Loss of: 1.6 pounds!

I honestly am almost shocked that I beat this week. With 1/2 of the week eating out nearly every meal and not having a lot of control over being able to work out and everything like I wanted. Well, I'm giving myself a big 'ole pat on the back for this one!

Week Recap

Friday - Swam at the lake before the chaos began. Ate pretty well most of the day. Even packed healthy snacks for the lake. Of course, our cooler had a malfunction and many of the snacks were ruined, so I gave up my snacks to the boys (joys of motherhood right there, y'all) and waited until much later to get something to eat. I don't even really remember dinner...but I'm pretty sure we ate out that night. The storm hit after we got back from the lake and the rest of the night is pretty much a blur.

Saturday - Cooked breakfast at home before the heat set in. Eggs and bacon. The boys had toast that I cooked under the broiler (which led my family to believe I was a pure genius! *lol*). Ate lunch at the Mexican restaurant that's just across the parking lot from Hubs' work where we were hiding out. I was pretty conscious of what I was eating, though and tried to stay away from too many chips. I got a yummy Chorizo Quesadilla with peppers, onions, and shredded chicken in it, and was shocked when I offered up 1/2 to Ethan and he actually enjoyed it! I don't remember dinner. I think we probably either ate out or grilled out. That was the theme of the first part of the week. Did eat a few non-healthy snacks at Hubs' work, though. No workout this day.

Sunday - Cooked breakfast again at home. Had to run to town to use the potty, so I stopped off at Kroger and picked up eggs and sausage, so that's what we had that morning. I skipped lunch as I was working with Hubs and then we had dinner at Long John's (totally not my choice, but everyone else was all for it, so I went with it....besides, I had skipped lunch so I had some extra calories). No workout this day, but it was my usual rest day anyhow.

Monday - Took everyone to Shoney's breakfast buffet. I admit that I ate more than I should have. I also admit that I then skipped lunch, then had some nachos from Taco Bell later, and I really do not remember dinner at all. We were starting to lose our minds by then. I think "dinner" was at 11pm when Hubs and I darted off to McD's for chicken nuggets. No workout, yet again. *sigh* I really was starting to lose it.

Tuesday - I had to go back to work. Thankfully, Hubs called around 2pm to let me know electric was restored to our house and I had a much happier second half of the day. Of course, by the time I got home the window AC still hadn't caught up and I was not about to burn my family up by cooking (like I wanted to). Plus, all my meat was still in Hubs' work fridge. I had a VERY unhealthy lunch, and a terrible dinner (Chinese buffet). By the end of the day, though, my resolve was restored. We picked up our meat from the work fridge and replaced it in our own again. I knew time was running out to cook it so I began to make a plan of action for making sure we didn't lose any more than we already had. I cooked up the steak bits I had bought for our chili (it was just past what I'd feel safe serving my kids, but not quite "bad" yet) and gave it to the dogs. At least we'd save a bit of money on dog food for the night, right? And when I thought I was going to just go to bed, I surprised myself and got up and did my 15 minute intro workout routine for Rockin' Body.

Wednesday - A holiday, which meant I was off work. We begged off the parade and the heat and hid at home. I was able to cook breakfast, lunch AND dinner. We ate well that day! I made some amazing taco stuffing from scratch (no recipe!) including homemade taco seasoning (I do have a recipe for that if anyone wants it), and for dinner I pulled together a pork loin stew with carrots, onion, chicken broth, mushrooms, and turnips, with spices thrown in at a whim. It was delicious and, again, I had no recipe. I did day 2 of my Rockin' Body workouts and was starting to feel like I had the ground under me again.

Thursday - Yesterday went pretty well. I made myself eggs and bacon for breakfast (leftover bacon that I need to use up), and ate pork loin stew leftovers for lunch. After work I decided not to go to the tiny pool at the gym as I learned that our city pool was hosting a "family night" wherein you only have to pay $1 each to get in. I took the boys swimming. When we got there, the whistle blew for a lifeguard break, which is basically "adult swim time" and I hopped in super fast to get in as many laps as I could before the kids got back in. I got some dirty looks, but I didn't care. I wanted to swim! And, let me tell you, trying to do laps past the cascade of water pushed out the bottom of the slide = interesting! *lol* You TRY to swim straight, but the current pushes you aside. I figured it was good practice for if I ever have to swim in choppy waters in a tri or something. I got my laps down and felt much better. When we left the pool, I ignored my kids' protests about "getting some food" and drove straight home to check and see if my salmon was still any good. Yep! A huge half of a wild-caught salmon had survived. I stuck it on the griddle plate with sliced pieces of the 3 out of 5 zucchini that survived, sprinkled it with smoked sea salt, pepper, garlic powder and flakes of unsweetened coconut after coating the pan in coconut oil. All of it fried up and it was the most delicious and sweet salmon and zucchini I think I've ever made. YUM! After a long rest, I then got up and did my Rockin' Body routine (which just about KILLED me, I tell you! My abs already were hurting and I had to do "Hardcore Abs" last night AND the Disco Groove...let me tell you, those people doing disco back in the day? I think there was more to their tiny frames than just the massive amounts of drugs they did! That shiz is HARDCORE in itself!). 50 minutes later, I collapsed in a ball of sweat on the couch with some leftover taco stuffing and refueled and stretched out and went to bed and slept like a ROCK! *lol*

So that's how I survived the week. I can't be prouder that I was able to eat, drink, and exercise the excess bloat from the first part of the week off so that I could come out with a win this week! Almost 2 lbs lost means I'm not as far off target as I feared I might be!

=== === === === === ===

So, plans for the weekend?

Friday - Leftovers for dinner, or I'll have to stop by the market and pick something up because we are out of healthy options now. I'll figure it out before I leave at 4:30pm.

emoticon Set to do laps at the little gym pool tonight.
emoticon Then another set of Rockin' Body routines. Tonight is Party Express (25m) and Booty Time (40m). I haven't done Booty Time yet, so we'll have to see how that goes.

I *might* take the kids to the drive-in theatre. Haven't decided yet. Hubs has to work until 8pm so we'd be cutting it close if he went along.

Saturday - I plan on doing some grocery shopping. Gotta keep it as cheap as possible, but I also need some more healthy options at the house. Logan was bummed that we lost most of our ingredients for the Paleo Chili he picked out last week, so I'll be making that for sure this week.

emoticon Finalize week 1 of C25k
emoticon RB: Shaun T's Dance Party (45) and Hardcore Abs (10m) HELP ME NOW! *lol*

Sunday - REST DAY!!!!!!! I've pushed myself hard this week, but I really needed to in order to get my head back in the game. For rest day, I'd love to find a girlfriend who will go see Magic Mike with me, but my bestie is headed out of town, so that might have to wait. Also plan on doing some yoga and stretching in order to get the kinks out from this week and will try to plan a "spa night" of sorts so I can do some grooming essentials like shave my legs, deep condition my hair, paint my nails, etc., etc. I might even try to make up a homemade face mask. Lord knows with me eating paleo now I have a lot of unused oats at my house! *lol*

=== === === === === ===

emoticon What are your plans for the weekend? Got anything fun planned? I hope my friends and family without power finally get it restored this weekend! A week without power is NOT fun...especially when you have well water and the pump won't work to give you running water!

emoticon Did you all notice the new emoticons? Fun, right!?

Some of my faves (and the ones I used above too!):
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

=== === === === === ===
Weight Goal for Next Week: 306.2

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUGIRL06 7/10/2012 1:27PM

    Oooh I didn't see the new emoticons! Nice! LoL

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TRENTDREAMER 7/6/2012 9:16PM

    "Loss of: 1.6 pounds! "
* w00t!

"Well, I'm giving myself a big 'ole pat on the back for this one! "
* Deserved.

"So that's how I survived the week. I can't be prouder that I was able to eat, drink, and exercise the excess bloat from the first part of the week off so that I could come out with a win this week! Almost 2 lbs lost means I'm not as far off target as I feared I might be! "
* Every so often...

Hope that you have a great weekend!

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WALLAHALLA 7/6/2012 8:18PM

    emoticon This next week can be even better!

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MUSOLF6 7/6/2012 3:06PM

    emoticon emoticon

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ATROTTIER 7/6/2012 1:17PM

    Yay for you!! You did great despite all the crazy weather drama and a holiday thrown in the mix! I love "booty time" - it's sounds intense, can't wait to hear about it!

I hope you go see Magic Mike - it's just fun to watch...obviously not an oscar winner or anything but it was fun and great eye candy!!

My plans this weekend are just to prepare for the little one's b-day party on the 15th and get in my kickboxing class on Sat morn so I can get back on track...the holiday messed me up! Have fun!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ERIN1128 7/6/2012 12:03PM

    Woo hoo!!!

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IRONBLOSSOM 7/6/2012 12:00PM

    Congrats on the loss! I'm not surprised you lost what with the crazy situation, and the most important thing is that even when dinner was 11pm chicken nuggets, you were AWARE of what you were eating. That's a HUGE step!

Your weekend plans sound great, I wonder if I can fit in a spa night myself... emoticon

My weekend plans are not set yet, probably at least one day of jet skiing, but which day, I don't know! All I need to do for exercise is another 5.5 miles between today and tomorrow which should be fairly easy to get in.

Have a great weekend!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

(So yes, I love the new emoticons!)

Comment edited on: 7/6/2012 12:02:16 PM

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    Congrats on the weight loss!

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SASSAGAIN 7/6/2012 11:24AM

    E, congrats on the loss, but most importantly on how you handled a really tough situation!

You showed a lot of strength and courage in the fact that you kept going, tried to find ways to make sure you ate as wel as you could, and found some fun during the week!

Way to go. You are, as always, my superhero!

now, where's the emoticon with a cape??

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GUITARWOMAN 7/6/2012 11:04AM

    What a week!

Congrats on coming through so well in the end.....I do beleive that we don't get anything thrown at us that we can't cope with.

Cheers! for a great weekend!


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HEALTH-E-CLARE 7/6/2012 9:47AM

    Way to stay strong and come back with a vengence after the power outage debacle.

You are such a strong woman (in all aspects).

Love your plans, and I really hope you get to enjoy your "Spa Night' you've certainly earned it after you past week. I'm all about the rewards for yourself!

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BAYBELIEVER 7/6/2012 9:29AM

    Congratulations to you for coming through such a trying week in such dignity and with a loss on the scale!! Awesome!!

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