Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I interrupt this program to bring you a special announcement.
Alright, I admit it...I sneaked a peek at the scale tonight. Truth is I'm exhausted (and full) and was getting a little anxious waiting around for Sunday...so I hopped on, knowing I probably shouldn't because it could be really discouraging. Well, the scale says I'm down almost 5 lbs already! I'm not counting all these chicken eggs as chickens yet...I swear I'm not. I'm just hopeful that I'll add a pound before the end of the week, or at least stay at this weight so I can have a little celebration (sans food) on Sunday when my OFFICIAL weigh in day rolls around.
I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Too many times a day people of a larger size say, "I wish I could do [insert activity here], but I can't because I'm too fat/not in shape/have no energy." But when I stepped on the scale years ago and saw that 466.6 staring me down, I made a conscious effort to question myself everytime I said this. "I wish I could go swimming, but I can't because I'm too fat." What? That's just stupid. "I wish I could go running, but I can't because I'm not in shape." Really? But you'll never get in shape to do it if you don't start moving.
Recently, my husband's college basketball team (and mine by default) made it to the Final Four of the NCAA Championships, a feat they hadn't accomplished in more than 50 years. When a few coworkers at the Charleston Gazette ran an article about the team's motto - "Do what we do" - I found myself wanting to know what exactly that meant.
The story goes a little something like this. WVU Coach Bob Huggins said that when he first went to the school and started training (and at the beginning of training every year since) he encouraged his teammates to show him everything...to show off. They spent a few weeks trying to make free throws, 3-pointers, nabbing rebounds, etc. They dribbled their fancy ways, passed like a Harlem Globetrotter, and put on quite a show it seems. After those three weeks were up, he sat his players down and said, "Alright," he said, "now I've seen what you can't do...now show me what you CAN do."
His point was simple. Too many times in a game, especially in those high stakes, winner take all type of games, players want to show off for the crowd or for NBA scouts. You'll have a player who isn't exceptionally good at making 3-pointers taking every basket from 'behind the paint', as they say. Now this same player may be very good at blocking, or at grabbing a rebound, but he's putting all his effort into those stupid 3-pointers, of which he seems to miss more times than not. If that same player would just focus on what he COULD do, and not try to do the things he can't, well he'd be known for being a pretty darn good player and the team might actually win a few.
Good story right? And sound logic. Logic that got the team to the final four for the first time in half a century. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that we should all be trying to follow this motto. "Do what you do."
If I've learned anything, I've learned that there are two rules to live by. The first is "Do what you do" and the second is "don't be afraid to try something new." Now, we don't have to be afraid to try things we can't do because we're not playing a championship game. Want to see if you can row a boat for an hour? Try it...could be a blast! (Or you could hate it completely. I honestly love it, though my kids tend to get bored pretty quickly.) When we try new things we often find we can do more than we thought we could and our list of things we "can do" grows. But when that little monster creeps back into your head saying, "I wish I could..." push him away with a "Hey, I can't run no marathon, you're right about that...but I can walk a mile this week and maybe make it a mile and a half next week!"
Don't sit by thinking about what you wish you could do. Do what you do.
Monday, April 19, 2010
So today was the end of the first full day here. I had fully intended to simply check out the site and set some goals, not really get anything started...but when I saw how easily I could use the tools, I bought into the hype and starting logging everything. Of course, when I log, I find myself eating better, making better choices. I guess my head is just in the right place to start this journey.
So how did the day go? Good, for the most part. Didn't eat all my calories or carbs (I'm completely full...even pulled out some leftover mashed taters to make up some more calories, but couldn't eat enough to make up the 900 calorie deficit), but I at least had a healthy amount of calories (not too little...those tatoes came out because I had only eaten about 1,000 and I know my body well enough to know that it won't lose on that much, it's more likely to gain).
The workouts just about killed me though. I couldn't reach my calories burned goal, but I still worked out for 30 minutes and did my strength training workout too. My arms and legs are REALLY sore, though...didn't expect that to hit until tomorrow. Plus, my feet hurt from walking....I think I need a better pair of shoes.
On a side note - I talked to my Mom today and told her about this place. She thinks she joined once before but never did anything with it and she's looking into coming back. I told her "I got a salad from McDonald's because I'm trying to be a good girl." and her response made me think, and smile, and love her even more, "You're always a good girl, even when you don't eat the right things."
Monday, April 19, 2010
First full day here on SparkPeople, and I'm searching for my place (yet again).
College Students - hey, yeah! I'm a college senior (graduating May 16th, 2pm! *lol*). But...I never seem to fit right here. I'm 29, older than most college students. I'm also a wife, a mother, and a full-time secretary. My life is a little more settled than most college students, and I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in, even when I'm sitting at my desk in class. *shrug*
Plus, I have a whole ton of a lot more weight to lose than most college students struggling with their freshman 15, or even 20, or even 50! I've got a lot more to lose than a lot of people and this tends to get me down when I visit sites like this.
But what I have to remember is where I've come from. A few years ago I weighed in at 466.6 (the last 3 digits weren't lost on me). I was struggling to get gastric bypass surgery, severely depressed, and just not in a good point in my life. It was difficult to walk up stairs. I had no job and spent most days at home in front of the television. Those numbers scared me...terrified me, and I made a change. I worked every day, day by day, with help from online friends, and I ended up dropping 100 pounds all on my own! For the most part, I've kept that weight off for the past 3 years...and then...well, and then things changed a bit. (Gastric bypass never happened - by the time I went through all the stupid testing required by my insurance company, the insurance company dropped coverage of the surgery and I was left with all the tests to prove it would be good for me and none of the results.)
Slowly I have accepted more in my life. We moved from Columbus (where I had a lot of family support and accountability) to West Virginia. Then I got a job working full-time, my first "regular" job ever. A year later, I started school again, something I had abandoned years before, but promised myself I would go back to. Then a year ago I was offered a position in my chosen field part-time and I just couldn't find a good reason to turn an opportunity like that down (they don't come around that often, I've learned). All of these things are great things in my life, and I feel so proud to have done them. (Especially knowing where I came from just a year or two before.) But suddenly I was working full-time, going to school full-time, working part-time twice a month, getting very little sleep, and having even less time to devote to exercise/eating right.
No lunch breaks at work meant I couldn't use my lunches to walk anymore. Constantly driving in the car meant I had to stop and grab food where I could, or eat something on the go (it's really difficult to eat an egg white omelet while driving 60 down the road...ya know?). But I didn't complain to anyone...how could I? People kept telling me "You're still living a sedentary life" but I couldn't figure out how to change it. I made small corrections, whatever I could fit in, but I had to somehow survive the challenges I was facing and there wasn't much room in my head to "work on me."
Now, thankfully, school is coming to a close. I'm looking for a better job and, most of all, looking forward to a chance to spend some time on me again. I'm ready to pull out the same skills I used once and put them to work for me again, and this time I won't stop until I reach the mile marker that makes me feel the most comfortable. (I decided that day on the scale that I would never let my weight keep me locked inside again, and I don't let it stop me from doing very much. My big butt will wear a bathing suit and go swimming in the lake, because I love swimming and it's great exercise and because I need to worry about myself and what I think/feel/enjoy and not what others think. My big butt boarded a plane to NYC because I had always wanted to go (and I'm telling you this place is a wonderful weight loss tool - I lost 8 lbs or so in 5 days from walking, and more walking, and even MORE walking!)
I'm in mostly planning stages right now (4 weeks of school left), but I tend to make changes when I'm paying more attention, because I DO know what's right and wrong, and consciously chosing to do wrong all the time can kill my feelings of self-worth. The plan for the day is finding a place where I feel like I fit. Where I don't feel like an outsider trying to make something work that doesn't. Where I can hold myself accountable by being myself, completely honest.
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