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CALIDREAMER76's Recent Blog Entries
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Sunday, January 04, 2009
Weighed in this AM at 165 or 166 depending upon which time I weighed - the scale isn't very reliable even at a minute apart. Didn't get to walk, actually didn't do much of my usual routine - no walk, went to church then shopping - briskly walked from one end of the mall to the other and found Sears was opened - so went to look for what I needed. Then walked back, more people were there, so less brisk and did some other shopping. Then to the grocery store - parked in my usual spot near the far end of the lot - to get more steps in on the ole pedometer. Home then to visit with dear older friends from church. - Not much movement there, but kept one of my resolutions - to do something for me. Visiting with John and Dorothy was definitely a good thing for me! Had two bowls of Tuscan bean soup - so I'm sure it was pretty healthy and one slice of Italian bread. Came home, and did Coach Nicole's video twice, being I did no other real exercise - I do not like the jumping though. As far as the challenge - this is it. I already have before pics. I'd like to loose at least 5 pounds this month and do some toning. Ultimately, I have 15- 20 I'd like to loose, but my doctor said keep it to 10 - not to worry so much about the BMI - I just want to be able to say I'm not overweight, but maybe, just maybe I'm giving that BMI scale to much power over me. Maybe that's one of the things I need to work on too, acceptance. - Enough for today - got to work on grades and call Katie.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Ok, It's a new year and the new me is ready for some more improvements. I'm not done with the physical, but near my goal. Doc even said 10 more is good, but 20 is too much, not to rely on that BMI - which has been the scale that's driven me.
I WILL be happy if, no when I get to the 150-155 range AND stay there! I make that choice, and happiness is what we choose.
In 2009 I resolve to:
1. Show more gratitude to the people in my life for any and everything - from the littlest things like a phone call or card - to just being there, loving and caring for me. I will try to show that gratitude both verbally and physically - sending more cards via snail mail - something people can hold on to. Then hopefully when they are having a bad day - that may be a ray of sunshine in an otherwise cloudy day.
2. Be nicer to me - take @ least half an hour a week (which is way more than I do now) to read for pleasure, do a puzzle, do a little cross-stitch, something relaxing for me - but not necessarily exercise. Only because 90% of the time I make sure I exercise for my physical health and get the mental health benefit as a bonus - I'm going to do something to enhance my mental health.
3. Maintain contact with my friends with whom I don't have regular contact. Once a month contact one either by phone or snail mail - email is to random and impersonal. This was a resolution two years ago to write a letter once a week - I kept it up for a while and reconnected a little with a few people, but gave up - I think once a month is more realistic.
4. I will try to update this blog with my progress ~ hopefully monthly!
Anyone reading this ~ get on my case if you catch me slipping up!
Happy, Healthy New Year! 
Thursday, October 23, 2008
For those of you wondering about pictures on the bar @ Coyote Ugly - a friend had her digital and was snapping away - when she up loads them and sends them I will add one or two to the page - believe me I haven't gotten bold enough to have anything racy - just being up there was racy enough for me ;o)
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Well, it has come and gone and I'm none the worse and actually better - for turning the big 5-0!
It began a little shaky - my flight to Nashville got messed up a little and had to overnight it in Atlanta - called Cyndi - a good friend from HS - just because I was in her "neighborhood" as if the cell phone didn't work from PA! Had a nice chat. Then I flew to Music City to meet my sister Katie, her friends Faye and Joann. The four of us drove to Memphis to celebrate. And celebrate we did - Celebrating included - a couple bottles of wine, a few Bloody Mary's for them - not my thing, a few of pitchers of beers and some Rachel Ray Blue berry type drinks. We ate some awesome BBQ ribs, pulled pork, sausages, and fried Chicken from Neeley's, Rum Boogie Café and Rendezvous (with the waiter to the stars - who treated us like we were). It was a great Girls weekend - It included a walking tour of Memphis - including a visit to the Lorraine motel, and a few other hot spots. I spent my actual birthday walking around Elvis' house! Then after dinner and a few drinks we were walking around Beale Street - dancing in the park and then on to the Coyote Ugly bar - I was dragged UP on to the bar - yes me - the person who has spent most of her life with a low self image - up on the bar dancing! I'm so excited and proud of myself - for being so bold! At least for me - nothing sexy or anything BUT I was up there. One of the last people you would expect. This new thinner me, feels better about about myself, more confident than I EVER have. And I like it. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my life, do what I need to do and have fun doing it! Yeah me! 
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Prior to walking down this "healthy" path - my identity has always been as a fat person. Even way back when, when I was the size I am now - all I saw was a fat person. In high school - size 14/16 we had a choice of what gym to take - I took slimnastics more often than not. That included running laps on the track when it was nice or around the gym when it wasn't. It also included working out on the universal gym. I never, NEVER, felt or was referred to as skinny, thin, or - "hot". So that is how I saw myself and assumed other people saw me, whether or not they did, I'm sure at least some did - that was my perspective of my identity.
Now, 100 pounds later it's confusing - I've lived the better part of 49 years as a fat person. I shopped in the fat person section of the store and refused to walk into stores for skinny people. I've read that skinny people also have issue with their body image, but never could figure out why. Now people say to ME - "hey skinny" and 'You are looking good" or "you look nice", "have you lost more weight" and the one I still can't believe "you look hotter and hotter every time I see you". Ok, those are good, they are positive, but the one that makes me laugh now is - a friend said her elderly mom was talking with some of the other older ladies at church and they were discussing me and my new appearance. "She doesn't look well, she's too skinny" " she looks terrible". I understand these are older ladies, and for almost all, no all of the time I've known them or they me - I was the fat girl/lady. I have others saying " you can stop now - you don't want to look anorexic, When I tell them, just 25 more, I get "Oh, no you won't look right" "Remember your age, you don't have to be that thin at your age" - MY AGE - I'm only 49 and a half. I have other people say I look better, younger than I did 10 years ago.
So now I have to learn not only do I have to readjust my perception of my identity (and I am - I'm not the fat person, I'm a mom, teacher, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor who happens to have maintained my commitment and managed to loose weight.) But I now have to deal with other peoples perception of me. I've learned to say - I want to loose 25 more - just so I have wiggle room (really it's so my BMI is not over weight), I'm laughing at what the older ladies in church say - and joke with others about it. I'm getting excited at walking to a clearance rack at Wal-Mart and picking up a size 14 pair of pants and holding them up and saying I think this will fit, then when I get home - they fit and aren't tight. A year ago it was 2X, I've learned I can shop in ladies - not the fat lady section of the store.
I'm not done with weight loss or perception adjustment. I still see a fat person in my shadow when I walk. At times I'm afraid I will wake up to find this was all an interesting dream. But I relish in doing a little turn around dance when someone who hasn't seen the new me is surprised by my appearance and ask how much I've lost. Then when they ask - Spark people is always mentioned. Some have joined w/out realizing they can put me as a referral - so no points earned, but hopefully healthier friends and THAT is what is important!
 
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