Friday, December 19, 2014
I went to the doctor again today because I've been bleeding for a month (give or take) now. I wanted something done about it, so we got me on some birth control pills to "reset" my system.
While the conversation went on, I started to panic a little. Once again he was blaming my fat for the issues. I don't think it has *that* much to do with any of my health problems, it's more likely age related, but he kept on telling me that the weight probably had something to do with it too.
I weighed in at the doctor's office at 195, a whole 2 pounds lighter than last time a week ago. He was not into hearing excuses, although I seemed to be full of them today. Yes, I did tell him that "I'm not that fat", when really, I should know better and that 195 is well into the obese category for my 5' 6" frame. I was giving several excuses for why this last weight gain went on, he didn't want to hear the second part of any of my sentences.
I didn't get to tell him that it's now my past and will be getting it right off again. I did tell him it will be gone again, but I'm not sure if he heard. What he did say was that he knew I could do it (he has been my doctor since before my biggest weight of 230) and that I'm worth it and that he was confident in my abilities.
So on that positive note, he left me knowing that I could do it and that he heard some of what I had to say instead of simply judging me for being fat.
Now I need to get rid of any lingering excuses (even with the upcoming holiday!) and not let anyone weigh me down this year, especially not myself.
I am more than a clinical diagnosis (both for the Asperger's and the obesity), I am a good mom, a helpful partner in my marriage, a creative being, and a head strong woman who is willing to take the steps to improve my life. I may be going in many directions, but I will be sure to enjoy the ride with the one person that has always been there with me my whole life, ME!
I will get to my goal weight this year with renewed strength and determination. It was the same doctor that started the thought in my head (along with an innocent first grader who told me "You're bigger than my mom") and with the goal weight he gave me of 150, I knew I could do it since it's been my ultimate goal the whole time. I have to get to a healthy weight so I can do things more easily and have the body that allows me.
195 is uncomfortable, I don't like it, I've been ignoring it, even to the point of giving up on my one pair of jeans. Sweatpants are not my friend, I will look good in my jeans again soon!
Who's with me? What are your excuses? How can you get over your hump? Let's do this thing!
Thursday, December 18, 2014
I'm not sure what's up with the Spark webpage editors, but once again they changed it. I know I'm not the only person that has a hard time with change.
I'll admit that I like the light background vs the dark lettering, it's easier to read. The thing is that once a year this website changes it's front page for us and it throws everyone off for a while. I'm searching for the things I've been clicking for the last year again. I know I'll find them, but I will be off kilter more than I have been for the last month with just one more change on my plate.
When I'm doing something, I like to change it up every once in a while just for something new, but when it's done for me, it sets me off balance. It's like when I go shopping and knew exactly where a particular product was yesterday, but had to run in the next day and they reset the store and put an isle half-way across from where it was.
Changing up the store, erm... website again will be more likely to shut me down and not want to use the site still. People are trying to change their habits and learn how to use the told here, but then they're changed up again? That can be harder for many than it seems for young people who are likely running the site.
I guess I'll have to treat it like I'm here learning it for the first time (again!), take a deep breath, and take one step at a time to get to know the new layout.
Thursday, December 11, 2014
I do feel more informed about my body this week. I may not have solved the problem yet, but we're keeping an eye on things to see if they improve on their own. Basically he said as long as we're not worried about being anemic, it's fine that I'm still bleeding 2 1/2 weeks later.
He did order up some testing and I got an ultrasound, but that proved again that I'm normal. So now we wait.
The big things that did happen was that I stepped on the scale and it isn't liking me again. I knew I was up a little, but a full 10 pounds more? I haven't gotten over 200 again, but that's close. It's time to concentrate on eating as best as I can again for the sake of my body. It's obviously out of whack and working on eating like I was 6 months ago will probably help it both lose the weight and get the hormones back in check.
Yes, it might have something to do with my age, although I think it's a little early, the beginning stages of menopause can start to show it's head now that I'm 38, almost 39 (in March).
All the chocolate candy bars did not help, nor the Nutella.
I do have my fridge and pantry stocked back up with good stuff, fruits and veggies. The dinner planning site (gatheredtable.com) is helping me concentrate on making a full, healthy, delicious meal every night. I am making sure to keep on having my good breakfasts of fruit, yogurt, oats, and nuts every morning. I just need to work on the stuff in-between those things.
I know that I'll be back down quickly. As long as I'm making the right choices every day, I'll be right back on the track I was not that long ago. It's just as easy to get back on track as it is to have fallen off to begin with. Fortunately healthy food tastes better!
Tuesday, December 02, 2014
I'll admit that I haven't been doing nearly as much activity as I did the previous year. My Mom has been getting on me about it since we're Fitbit pals.
That is only part of the issue. Oh, this might be another tmi blog, so you may want to stop here if you don't want to hear about girly problems.
I'm 38. Still fairly young on the going into menopause age. Sure, it's possible I'm in the very beginning stages, but that peri-menopause thing could have easily started in my early 30's when my periods got closer together, lighter, and shorter. I've always been right on schedule from the first one and it hasn't stopped since, minus the two pregnancies.
I was googling (I know, bad thing to do when you're looking up symptoms), and saw that with this current period I really need to see my doctor. I normally last 4-5 days pretty much since having my last baby 8 years ago. I'm on day 8+2 of this period (I say that because it paused for a day or two).
This scares me because my mom ended up in emergency surgery because her insides fell apart. I know it's said we turn into our parents, but this is one problem I hoped to skip.
Fortunately there are new methods to take care of some of these issues, but when things aren't "normal" for me, it throws me off and my anxiety goes through the roof. It's harder when my doctor has been dismissive about all these symptoms I've had because they're within his norm for the women he sees. I don't care if it's normal, but if I'm told so, I'll calm down a bit.
I know this month is nowhere near normal, so I'm going to kick some butt at the doctor's office this time. He needs to do some testing. No one should ever bleed this long. If he won't listen, I will go to the other ob-gyn at the office for a second opinion. It's my health at stake and the doctor needs to be serious with it.
Monday, November 24, 2014
I was able to sleep in a bit and get into the shower in the morning. I was worrying about how to get the cake ready for the party I was having at one of my friend's home.
I just got out of the shower (fortunately I was rinsed off and drying) when the fire alarms were going off. At this point I hadn't even eaten breakfast. We looked around to see why they were going off (I live in an apartment building) and found out that the ones in the hall were going off too. So we evacuated. With plenty of time to grab stuff, we got the kids with all their winter gear, our coats, and wallets.
Yes, there was an actual fire. Someone had their meal catch on fire, the grease they were using flamed up. The reason it spread was they tried to put it out with water, the worst thing to do with a grease fire. When a grease fire happens, remove it from the heat source, smother it with a lid if it's in a pan, toss baking soda on it, or use the proper fire extinguisher. The best thing was that with our fire alarms, it sends a message to the emergency system and they arrive shortly. I heard sirens by the time I was walking out the door, so it was a quick response.
Fortunately we live in town, the nearest fire house is on the other side of the park from us, a couple minutes drive.
The other good thing is that there is a good sprinkler system in our building. They now have to clean up the mess that the water made. This is what spilled out into the hallway.
To find out the most information, you place your body near the people with the most information. I actually found out plenty when I went to take pictures of the damage in the hall, obviously I didn't have permission to go into someone else's apartment. People like to talk to me, I just show up and listen.
Apparently the sprinklers work really well, in the apartment there was a half-foot of water standing during the incident. No one was hurt and it was contained to that kitchen. It was on my floor, but down the hall and around the corner. I'm sure there is a lot of water damage to multiple apartments.
My husband knows the couple, so hopefully we'll be able to find out how we can help them this week.
By the time I left in the afternoon, the carpet cleaning guys were still working and the dumpster was full by the time I got home from my party.
For your information about grease fires: www.wisegeek.com/how-should-i-respon
They're more common this time of the year, especially with people frying turkeys for Thanksgiving.
It only took an hour before we were allowed back in the building. Hopefully there wasn't too much damage to everyone surrounding the apartment that had the fire. The hall is already starting to smell moldy.
I did manage to make my cake and get to the party on time later. I made a new frosting, browned butter frosting to go with an apple cake. It turned out yummy. I ended up having a good time at my party and we ate a yummy meal.
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