Monday, September 01, 2014
I feel like I've been extra crazy lately. Everything was just too overwhelming for me, so I took a break from Spark. When I said I was taking a break, I wasn't sure if I was pregnant or not (I'm not). I hate that I'm still fertile since I'm content with the ages of my children and the spot we're in now. Just the thought of still being able to get pregnant is still an issue. *Stress*
I'm stress eating, so I've gained 5 pounds back in the last month. That's not hard to do.
We ended up going to the Science Museum this month since I did promise the kids we'd go. Even with the discount we were able to get, it was very expensive for us. *Stress stress stress*
So because of that promise our pantries were exceptionally low (we're in that spot where cost of living keeps on going up, but raises aren't getting there fast enough). We ended up hitting up the food shelf for the first time in nearly a decade. I didn't need as much as they were offering, so we ended up only taking a little to get through the month. Still, just having to beg for food makes me feel bad. *More stress*
I have been working on perfecting my art while I've been away from here (pictures will happen later when I have one done all the way). The first couple got burnt, but I had the stove fixed (again!) and figured out how hot it really was running. The third one came out perfectly!
With the money stresses and the fact that I'm not hireable right now, I'm going to end up selling my art to make a buck and hopefully fell less stressed about bills (we've been running the a/c and that always makes summer bills higher). My husband wants to start his own company too as a painting teacher (he paints miniatures and just needs to get his name out there) and do commissions for people. We have a plan in place, but just need to know the legal nuances for paying bills and knowing if we need special id numbers. I think that with simply using our names (first name last name, artist) we can simply use our social security numbers to pay the taxes instead of some corporate id. *Still stress, but not as urgent*
The kids both go back to school tomorrow, so that will help all of us. My son is stressing out about it (he always has more issues than my daughter) and still doesn't know how to cope properly, but he got his sister's teacher from last year, so I think that will help. That teacher already knew about his issues from last year (the Guillain-Barre he had last November) so she just had to know that it was still affecting him. I just hope he doesn't get bullied again this year. He doesn't know how to speak up for himself. *Yes, more stress*
With all of this going on, I woke up this morning with a renewed hope that this coming month will be better. I was more at peace with my decisions and can go forward with new tools to get us through and renewed expectations for myself again. I've gained and lost this 5 pounds a few times now, so I know it will go away again. The school schedule always helps me since I have actual time to myself. I've been putting off cleaning the house and putting off my time for myself. I've been hiding in my video games. It's time to get back to my old normal and on track for a bright future!
Let's get Sparkin'!
Thursday, August 07, 2014
I'm finding that I'm having a lot more lazy days than usual. The most I'm doing is supervising the kids going through their clothes so that we can decide what they really need for back to school in a few weeks. I had grocery money today, so I did get out at the end of the day and do some grocery shopping, but I'll wait until the weekend for the rest of my major shopping. It takes small steps to get to the final product, and this is making sure my home is school day organized again. We'll be practicing getting up with the alarm in a week or so, I tend to start doing that two weeks before school starts so we're all back on that schedule. We always have a bedtime, but summer tends to allow us to sleep in and I'm not getting up until 9 some days.
I had my normal breakfast to start my day.
With few items in my fridge, I reheated the rice from the day before and tossed some veggies on a plate, along with the rest of one of the nut blends I had.
After lunch, I had the last piece of fudge I can have, there were two other pieces, one for each kid.
My mid-afternoon snack was a banana.
The husband brought home dinner, Papa Murphy's pizza.
Along with dessert pizza.
I ran out to grocery shop after dinner, bringing my daughter with, and got some lunch and snack stuff, along with the holiday of the day, root beer floats.
That was the first time in over a year and possibly the last two years I had some pop. With the ice cream, and being one of my favorite flavors, it was worth it. If I had it daily, I don't think it would be as tasty. A treat is only a treat if it's not a daily thing.
Fitbit step count: 3,509
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