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CAITLINATOR's Recent Blog Entries

Back in the saddle again.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I'm Spark-blogging instead of working, which I'm seeing as a positive thing! It's time for me to re-prioritize what's important to me (again) and to that end, I've set some goals for the last two weeks of June. Hopefully posting them here will help keep me honest.

1. Continue working through my depression. Sub-goals to accomplish this are:
1a. Join the Appalachian Mountain Hiking Club and register for at least one new event.
1b. Go to at least one knitting group after work.
1c. Continue with therapy.
2. Continue working on lowering stress. Sub-goals to accomplish this are:
2a. Go to at least one yoga class each week.
2b. Take at least 15 minutes each day to do something that I find relaxing and enjoyable.
3. Make working out and eating healthy more fun. Sub-goals for this:
3a. Research new cookbooks.
3b. Schedule time for cooking something new at least once during the week.
3c. Try one new workout I've never done before at least once.

That should be more than enough for the next two weeks. Here we go...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

K-PO110 4/6/2012 11:52AM

    How has your progress been since June? How are you feeling?

Sounds like you are as determined as ever....


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CASSIOEPIA 6/15/2010 7:33PM

    Glad you re-prioritized yourself a little higher on the list Cait. Nice to see you back!

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PEASANDLOVE 6/15/2010 1:38PM

    Those are great goals! Very inspiring.

Hmmm... I wonder if there's a Tulsa hiking group?

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MAUIMA 6/15/2010 12:57PM

    Nice list!

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One Word Survey

Friday, March 12, 2010

Not as easy as you might think! Copy and Paste into your own blog, change the answers to suit you. It's really hard to only use one word answers. Stole this from another blogger...

Where is your cell phone?


Your hair?

Your mother?

Your father?

Your favourite thing?

Your dream last night?

Favourite drink?

What room are you in?

Your hobby?

Your fear?

Where do you want to be in 6 years?

Where were you last night?

Something that you aren't?


Wish list item?

Last thing you did?

What are you wearing?

Your pets?


Your life?

Your mood?

Missing someone?


Your car?

Something you're not wearing?

Your favourite store?

Your favourite color?

When is the last time you cried?

Where do you go over and over?

Five people who email me regularly?

Favorite place to eat?

Favourite place I'd like to be right now?


The kindness of strangers.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

I just need to put this out there for those times when I doubt what I'm going to say is true. The Universe, or God, or whatever higher power you may or not believe in, really does have a way of pulling things together sometimes.

Many of you know I have been struggling with caring for my mother, who lives alone, 1,200 miles away from me in Florida. She has been suffering with depression, severe anxiety, and now we suspect also some signs of dementia. She has been getting herself into car accidents and trouble with the police and has been bringing herself closer and closer to the brink of total financial ruin. It has been a struggle for me to make sure she is getting the care she needs.

Yesterday she was in a car accident. Luckily no one was hurt, but she was issued a citation and her car was badly damaged and required a tow. From that moment, I swear the Universe has been looking out for her in every way.

Her insurance agent drove to the scene of the accident to speak with police, arrange the tow, and drive her to get a car rental. My mom, in hysterics, had the presence of mind to stop at an IHOP she frequented often with my stepfather, when he was still living there. The waitress recognized her and watched over her until she was calm enough to leave, which was several hours. (So, if we're keeping score - the kindness of strangers tally is up to two so far: the insurance agent and now the waitress.)

My mom managed to make it home last night and we agreed that she should probably not be driving at this point until she has additional tests to find out what is or isn't going on with her, physically. This would be a huge challenge, as my mom's anxiety had kept her from meeting ANY new people in her neighborhood at all, in the entire 9 months she has been living there.

This morning I called the clubhouse in the gated community where she lives and spoke with the receptionist, hoping she might be able to post a note on a message board that my mom needed a ride to her psychiatrist's office on Saturday. The doctor is an hour's drive from where my mom lives, so including waiting for her at the office, it would be three hours out of a stranger's day to help her out. The receptionist at the office said she would see what she could do and call me back.

She just called me back and not only is she herself going to take my mom to the doctor's appointment on Saturday, but she contacted a women's group at the clubhouse who specifically works to help people who are there alone to get rides to appointments and such so that my mom could get a ride to another appointment on Monday. And, when she found out my mom was recently divorced and living alone and would be alone on Christmas, she told me she would spread the word so that her neighbors would check in on her during that time. I think Ruth at the Lakes of Mount Dora gets about 50 gold stars in the kindness of strangers count.

My mom finally has a psychologist that she not only trusts, but who has been responsive to me and keeps me in the loop on her care. She has a very well-respected psychiatrist, and after speaking with his receptionist I feel she is in very good hands there. And I spoke with someone at NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) in my mom's area, who has offered to send me documentation about elder care so that my mom can continue to live alone, but still have someone check in on her to make sure she is eating, taking care of the house, etc.

At this point I've completely lost count on the kindness of strangers tally, but I just want to say this, because there is a lesson here: Know when to ask for help. If you know what you need, and then you ask for it, I truly believe you will find what you're looking for. Every time.

Sure, we all want to go at things alone. I don't know if it's a matter of pride, or not wanting to burden someone else, or just thinking no one else knows how to do it right. It doesn't really matter. But once we admit we're not superpeople and we reach out our hands for that pick-me-up, it's amazing what can happen.

And this is, I think, highly appropriate to post on a dieting website because the lesson applies here, too. If we knew how to work out and eat right and take care of our bodies without help, we wouldn't be here. But how many of us are trying to do it alone? How many of us are holding our weight loss goals close to our hearts in fear that if we don't do it ourselves, we wouldn't be able to face the world as a failure? How many of us give up before we start because it just felt too hard? Well, I'm here to say that if you reach out to someone - even a total stranger - for help, you'll never be a failure. And better still, you'll never be alone.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAUIMA 12/31/2009 7:02PM

    Indeed...we are not alone.

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CHOCLAHOLIC 12/14/2009 9:02AM

    Cait... What a wonderful blog! I am sitting here with tears in my eyes because of how this blog has hit home, not only for me but also I'm sure for many others here on Sparks.
Thank you for sharing these wonderful stories of kindness..... it's something we all need to remember and pay forward!

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CARILOUIE 12/10/2009 8:11PM

    I'm so glad I stopped by this blog. It really is a wonderful feeling when you know that so many people are out there who are good.
What an uplifting read!

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KELPIE57 12/10/2009 6:39PM

    Cait, the more you share the kindness of others, the more we shall be kind. It is so uplifting to read the good news, and not always the bad.

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CASSIOEPIA 12/10/2009 5:55PM

    We are not alone. Thanks be to God.

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EMILYBEMENT 12/10/2009 4:54PM

    On my friends feed I saw this and am glad I came here. This is a good share. There are many good people in this world of craziness and selfserving people. I am reminded again that people are good and kind. Blessings to you and your mom and God Bless the kind hearted in this world.
Blessings, Em

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1BEARWIFE 12/10/2009 4:36PM

    My Mom lived over 2000 miles away from me, and I couldn't get her to move closer either. The time finally came when she had to be moved into assisted care living, and the people there were absolute saints! They saw to it she got her hair done, was always up, dressed and clean, and that she ate well. Whenever I would call them to check on her, they always took the time to give me very complete information. Not asking for help is an ego thing, and pretty stupid, too. We all need help, and that is why God put so many of us on this earth! Good luck with your journey.

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ALEXSGIRL1 12/10/2009 4:22PM

    this was a good blog. this place is full with the kindness of strangers. we need not be afraid to ask for help or to offer it. sometimes the littlest thing makes a big problem better or fixable. i hope things turn out right for your mom, and you. have a happy and healthy week/ emoticon

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KITTIKATKITTY 12/10/2009 3:54PM

    I first thought it was about Madea in the first paragraph. But there are people out there who do care!!!

I hope you Mother the best!

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DARCEYOH 12/10/2009 3:44PM

    Great blog! There are people out there who will go completely out of there way to help and support someone they don't know.

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FERGSGIRL2 12/10/2009 3:04PM

    wonderful post, I cannot add anything nicer or more tru to what you have said. I just want to thank you for posting. Blessings to you and especially your Mom.

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Ran amuck.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Video evidence of my insanity.

It was a fun race. It was also one of the hardest I've ever run. It felt like 90% of it was straight uphill. I am not used to trail running, and was pretty scared of turning an ankle or slipping into the lake. Turned out that worry was pretty pointless, since the end of the race involved an obstacle course wherein I had to wade, hip-deep, through the lake for about 50 yards.

I was so out of breath and tired for most of the race but it was as much fun as I'd hoped. And a great workout!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENJEN26 10/6/2009 12:25AM

    Cait that was awesome! You are such an awesome chick, good job making it to the finish line, that looked tough!

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PAINTS5555 10/5/2009 7:58PM

    Oh my! What a mess, but I'll bet you had a blast!

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NERAUS 10/4/2009 7:49PM

    It looked fun but didn't it wreck your running shoes? LOL!!!! Great job.

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UROPA40 10/4/2009 7:18PM

    Great video, made me smile. The mud is proof that you are one tough girl. Suzy

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RUNNINGWILD 10/4/2009 6:50PM

    You. wore. white?! Seriously LOL. There's a Tide commercial just waiting to be born.
Congrats Cait. That looked like a helluva lot of fun.

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ASPENJULES 10/4/2009 6:19PM

    Cait - GREAT video and what a run race! I've seen some of those and have thought they would be a blast, but I would certainly want to share the fun with a friend. I am impressed you did it on your own. Some day I will do one, but in the meantime I will look forward to watching your video next year, with costumes!!

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COOPSM 10/4/2009 5:44PM

    What a hoot!!! Loved this---looks like you had fun!!!
I say a scuba diver.....or the loch ness monster rtn'ing home to the lake...

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JOPAPGH 10/4/2009 5:31PM

    Nice effort on the run and production values on the video! Looks cold.

I have been to Harriman many times. Back packed there one spring break in the early 80s. My parents moved to Ridgewood, NJ after I graduated H.S, so it was not far.

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ETTEZEUS 10/4/2009 5:23PM

    Awesome! Looks like a lot of fun!

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CASSIOEPIA 10/4/2009 2:05PM

    Cait this looks like so much fun! What a great video too.

And Maui - it does sound like a fun deck activity!!!!

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MAUIMA 10/4/2009 1:31PM

    Love it!
Fun! year...ya! run a muck sounds like a perfect deck event!

so good to see your smile!

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ASTER2606 10/4/2009 1:30PM

    Oh, Cait! I laughed out loud. You were literally one dirty girl by the end of that race. Congrats. Definitely looking forward to your video next year with costume. Yay!

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MAUIMA 10/4/2009 1:29PM

Great video...thank you for sharing.

Comment edited on: 10/4/2009 1:34:34 PM

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KAYOTIC 10/4/2009 1:26PM

    That really looks like fun! Can't wait to see next years video!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon (some costume ideas....)

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Makes an assessment.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

It's been about a week and I managed to get out for three runs. I'm doing 2:1 run:walk ratios, and I have to say that I feel more energetic at the end of these runs than I did when I would run straight through. I would like to be able to run 10k, but we'll see.

I signed up to run in this crazy race in Harriman State Park next weekend at the Run Amuck Festival. It's a 5k obstacle course mud race. People are encouraged to run in costume and it's also recommended that we duct tape our sneakers to our legs so they don't fall off in the mud. I don't know if I'm downright mad, but this sounds like so much fun to me. I will probably regret entering this race by the time next weekend rolls around, but at least I have gotten one or two people to say they'll show up with a camera so we'll have documentation of the insanity.

This week I also started using the Wii for my workouts. Billy got EA Sports Active, and I've made it through the first three days of the 30 day challenge. I don't know if it's really the most productive form of exercise, but it's fun and it can't hurt, so there's also that.

I've been more active this week than I have been in months and it has resulted in some very high highs, but also some very low lows. It's like the happier I am on the good days, the more pronounced the bad days feel. It's a tough roller coaster ride to be on all the time, and I wish I could figure out the way to balance things out a bit better. I will admit that it's been a long time since I experienced any highs, so I'll take it for now and hope eventually things normalize over time.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIFEGENESIS 10/6/2009 1:25PM

    That looked like so much fun! Now THAT is something I would try to get in shape to do! :) Keep having fun and keep us updated! :P

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ASTER2606 9/28/2009 10:02AM

    That's an awesome name for a race. I hope you have a great time.

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CASSIOEPIA 9/27/2009 5:03PM

    Love that you are getting some natural highs! And that race sounds like an absolute blast. I'll be looking for the pics.

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