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Where has the time gone?

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Feeling a little pathetic here :( I have sooo neglected SP for a long time. And very discouraged that I have let myself gain all the weight back. My husband is pretty much begging me to start eating healthier with him and all I am thinking is, how will I live without my JUNK FOOD that I have grown to love again? The only thing that makes me feel better after a stressful day at work is a big bag of popcorn and a Coke. Looking back at the progress that I have made, made me realize that I can do this again. We can both do this again. It will be hard, but I have to do it, for him at least.

How can I get back to the way I was before? Wow, I was looking back at my pictures of when I was 200 pounds and I looked pretty Darn good. So that is a little under 30 pounds that I have to lose. If I can't do it for myself, I at least need to do it to support my husband. He is getting ready to take his Level 2 fire fighting class and he has to be in Tip Top condition....

So, I need some advice, how do I start this again?? I mean, I KNOW what to do physically, but do I do this??

Going to make a small, little goal for myself. Starting off small counts, right??

1. No POP at work!! My work makes it sooo convient for me to grab a Coke or Mt. Dew. 50cents for a can. I drink at least 2!

Grrr. I can't think of anything else that I can commit to right now. That is sad :( Honestly, besides the occasional popcorn and eating out, I really don't eat THAT bad. I need to start exercising, but cant find the time or energy to do it.

2. Start tracking my calories again. Obviously, I am thinking that I am eating okay, but maybe, JUST MAYBE...I'm not :P...MAYBE I am lying to make myself feel better :PPPPPP

Help me out my friends!!! This was very therapeutic to me, but still need some help :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEKOPIE76 1/15/2010 6:13AM

    Follow the Spark plan and don't think about "last time." Find 3 goals (small) and start a streak. I like the goals of limiting your soda and tracking your food. Your 3rd goal could be TO POST ON THE DUCK THREAD EVERYDAY!!! You don't have to write a book, just take 5 minutes and update us on what is going on. Spark has a great plan and if you start with the small changes and get a streak going, your mind will be in the "game" soon enough.

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JESJES 1/14/2010 11:57PM

    Hey Bryn, nice to see you. I think that stopping the pop at work is a very good first step. Seriously, stick with that one for a week and then add something else. Starting tracking again is no minor goal, either. Go easy on yourself, lady! I'm glad to hear you have your hubbie's support and I say find at least one reason you want to do this for you! You could always start the sparkpeople stages over again, too, start from whichever level you want. I did that a few months ago, it was kind of fun. I'm not that into the points, but it was nice to be reminded of things that help through articles and motivating pages, etc. Keep blogging! It'll help, too. You can do it! --Jes

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CABS*MOM 1/14/2010 11:33PM

    OK...see?! I just tracked my calories for the day. I am within my calorie intake, but everything else was HORRIBLE!!!! Most of my calories went towards all the pop and the Philly Cheesesteak, I am def. eating horrible :(

Any advice?

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SPRING challenge

Monday, May 18, 2009

SPRING into Summer challenge

This Challenge runs from Stroke of Midnight Friday Morning, to Stroke of Midnight Tuesday Night...You have All Day, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, AND Tuesday...No Excuses..Just Do It! Does not matter if you can't do it all...Just do something...Help your TEAM...Help Yourself! Everyone can drink water right??? We want EVERYONE to have some points...Let's have 100% Participation!!!! C'mon...You wanted to be in this Challenge...So let's see what you got!

Squats - 1 point for every 10 squats completed. Your Choice (maximum 10 points)

Pushups - 1 point for every 10 pushups completed. Wall push-ups and modified push-ups count. (maximum 10 pts)

Reverse crunches - 1 point for every 10 reverse crunches completed. (maximum 10 points)

Include cardio - 1 point for every 10 minutes of cardio exercise completed. (maximum 10 points)

No pain, no gain - 1 point for every exercise completed with weights, such as bicep curls, hip adduction, hip abduction, leg extention, leg curl, chest press, etc. (a set of 10 reps/max 10 points)

Get hydrated - 5 points for every day you drink 8 glasses of water. (maximum of 5 points per day)

******You will get a bonus of 10 points for each day you complete SPRING. ******

S - F:10 S:0 S:10 M:5 T:0 Total:25
P - F:5 S:0 S:0 M:10 T:0 Total:15
R - F:0 S:0 S:0 M:0 T:0 Total:0
I - F:2 S:2 S:4 M:3 T:0 Total:11
N - F:1 S:2 S:1 M:1 T:0 Total:5
G - F:5 S:5 S:5 M:5 T:5 Total:25
Bonus (10 pts for each day I do everything):0
Challenge Total: 81

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOVE2LIVE! 5/18/2009 4:56PM

    It's 1 point for every 10 reps, so 10 bicep curls is 1 point.
Oh, and I used to be msumomma :)

Comment edited on: 5/18/2009 4:56:19 PM

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Non-Scale Goals for BLC

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I was told in my group that I need to set some Non Scale goals for myself and here are what they are.

QOTD *Non-Scale Goals*

1. To be accountable for myself and no more excuses.
2. No matter what kind of day I am having, I will always come here and post.
3. I will track my calories no matter what I put in my mouth
4. I will throw in at least 30 minutes of some kind of exercise at least 3x's a week!

**I need to be held accountable and not give up on myself. I am tired of making excuses. I have my health and wellbeing, there is no reason why I can not do this :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I have heard that weight loss is mostly mental. Getting into that mental place to make yourself successful!

I am also doing the BL challenge (Dark Blue Diva). Wish you the best!

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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Hey y'all. Blah. don't have much to say. It has been a looooong time since I have added a blog. I am so depressed and ashamed of myself. I tried on some more capris yesterday because it was so warm...none of them fit. I am so pissed at myself. I don't know what to do anymore, "I feel stuck, in a rut (and I'm crrraaazzzy)" I went shopping yesterday and Would NOT bring myself to buy a bigger size. Why the hell am I being so lazy with myself? Why am I allowing this to happen? I don't know how to go back. I obviously haven't given up totally, but I feel that I am done.
It is hard to get on Sparkpeople. It is hard to talk to anyone. Because it requires to actually TRY. It is so much easier to eat whatever I want and TRY to feel good about myself. ITS NOT FAIRRR. I am tired of buying bigger sizes.
What can I do? How can I get out of this rut?? I feel so lazy and so useless. I look at myself in the mirror and have to turn away because I am disgusted with myself. How did I let myself go again? This was so important to me and now I am back to the size that I started off as. What a bummer.

I had to let this out. Thanks for all that is listening :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JKHEIMBACH 4/2/2009 10:21AM

    Bryn...don't give up!! I am right there with you...just can't seem to commit to anything for longer than a day. I suggest small steps to get you back where you want to be. Just pick one thing that you want to focus on and start there. Gradually starting adding another healthy thing into your lifestyle and you will be back at it in no time. And most importantly, we don't have to be perfect. We are going to slip from time to time and that's ok. As long as we pick ourselves back up we will be fine!
emoticon, Kelly

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VALTOLLE 3/31/2009 6:13PM

    fight fight fight to end!!! Don't give up on yourself you are worth the effort emoticon

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GODDESSELLIE07 3/24/2009 12:23PM

    Bryn... I know it sucks sometimes and it is good that you feel comfortable coming here to vent. We are all here for you. We've all been there before. As long as you don't give up, you can't fail! If you need to talk or vent or whatever... just let us know... we are here for you!


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COWLYPSO 3/24/2009 10:50AM

    I know that it sucks to have backtracked. But that doesn't mean you are stuck forever. And that certainly doesn't mean that you should give up entirely, because you know where that will get you! I'm definitely annoyed with myself that I kept up my overeating long after I knew I was gaining weight, because that's now just more I have to lose.

Remember that you are not a failure until you give up completely. As long as you keep getting up and trying again, you haven't failed! So get up and try again. And again. This is a meandering scenic path, not a direct paved road to your goal. Some of the detours that you take will help to teach you more about yourself.

So take this moment and learn from it. If the problem is getting up any motivation at all, then change that. Post pictures of your goals, post motivating quotes, make SP your homepage, throw out the junk food and buy healthy, and think about how you'd like to be around for your kids and grandkids. Find a workout that you can do with minimal effort (like the SP videos that you can do at home in your pajamas).

Also, remember that you are not defined by your weight. That person in the mirror still has a ton of great qualities. Maybe take some time to list the things about yourself that you like and are proud of, then stick those to the mirror when you get frustated.

You can do this! Just keep trying and don't give up!

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I am in my safe zone!

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Ha. There I said it. What I haven't been able to admit before. IT IS SAFE AND COMFORTING TO BE FAT!! Don't you all agree?! So why don't I feel happy?
It is comforting to know that food is here for me. I have a bad day, go to McDonalds and grab 2 quarter pounders and fries, or make a trip to the store and buy a frozen pizza and a 12 pack of Coke...AND I AM HAPPY...'til I start thinking....

I am too comfortable. It is comfortable to blame EVERYTHING on my weight. I can't been seen in my bathing suit because I am fat...I can't go out with my friends because nothing is comfortable to wear big baggy clothes to hide it all. To comfort myself with food...

Thinking about changing my whole life style gives me the chills. I have always been this way. Why can't I be fat and happy? Isn't it easier that way?
I have a hubby who loves me no matter what. We both enjoy food...yet we both step on the scale everyday wondering why our pants are getting tight again, and getting depressed about it....then say "heck with it all, lets go get Mexican!"

I NEED TO GET OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE! Why go exercise when I can sit in front of the tv and get caught up on all of my shows? Why go out and take a walk when it is nice and cool inside of the house? Why eat a boring turkey sandwich when I can have a delicious pizza?

I turned away from the people that supported me the most. The people who kept on telling me not to give up, that I needed this. Because they made me feel uncomfortable. Doesn't make much since huh? But this is where I am can I fix this y'all?
How can I get out of my comfort zone?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

5THOF11 7/31/2008 2:23AM

    you're gonna have to try harder than that to get me to stop supporting you friend! i LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEE you!!! ditto to teresas words and i lived and live currently the same life you are describing (- the 2 quarter pounders, i don't think ive ever eaten 1 much less 2 girl!). this is why im on the computer at 1:13am instead of in bed getting my rest! i love t.v. and the computer and i hate my fat blubbery stomach and cravings. i stopped liking fast food when i started only allowing myself to drink water. suddenly real food was what i was craving and fast food had no flavor (soda was masking it, 'dulling the senses/taste buds'). we also had a wakeup call on what we were spending on fast food. be honest with yourself and keep your reciepts for one week and you will see if you stop, how soon you could instead be motivated to get in shape for a cruise with your DH instead! that's it! plan a vacation, you can't really afford, sacrafice eating out for exercise so you can wear that bathing suit and you'll forget the day to days! easy right!? well, at least talk about it and try it.
sorry i haven't been around myself actually. i floated last round and am this round but at least i'm trying this time. slooooowwwwlllyyy but surely (like teresa sorta said).
love you! p.s. it does matter what color/ team you are, you should seek support from every place you can get it. colors are just a formality. go get some more inspirational friends. go to the motivators page somewhere and start conversating! xoxo !

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RESHAPEMYLIFE 7/29/2008 10:14PM

    HELLO ! Somehow you don't see what I see. There is something about you that is unforgettable. When I think of TEAL I think of you.

I have decided that there are 3 kinds of sparkers. Those that become possessed and get their highs from the whole experience ( me, Susan, and others that you know). There are those who just can't or won't value themselves highly enough to get it done and just drop out ( look through your friends page and think about how many of them are no longer actively in the battle of the bulge ). The third kind is the ones who know that they are worth it and just won't give up the dream. They may struggle and drop in and out but they never quit. THIS MY DEAR IS YOU ! and Skinnysoon and Louise and Lila and so many others that we love.

We rely on what we know because it is safe. But start creating little victories for yourself and then build on those. Chose what works for you.

Want to really shock yourself and your family into action? try a 48 hour fast - no not like starvation kind but the cleanse your life and get a new perspective kind. Try unplugging your TV and throwing a blanket over it and putting a big sign on it that says something funny like " CLOSED FOR LIFE RENOVATION - GO DO SOMETHING FUN" . You will love having the time to reconnect with your kids and your hubby. It is weird at first but worth the effort.

You are still loved,

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TERESAROSE 7/11/2008 4:47PM

    Oh girl! That is so me!!!



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KAYTEPETERS 7/1/2008 1:38PM

    I am so there. i knew from the start that i wouldn't be able to do it with the food alone. or the exercise alone. so i'm trying desperately to do a joint attack on the thing that is killing me. I think you've done the first thing you can do, and that is admit there is an issue with where you are, that may just be the kick in the pants to get where you need to be. Good luck, best wishes, and holler if you need help!!!

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TERRI4EVER 7/1/2008 10:26AM

    It does feel safe to stay fat. But I also love the way it feels to be losing weight and becoming a new healthy person. But, I find that when I start getting those "You are losing weight" comments, it kinda stalls me for a while.

But think of the extra energy that losing weight brings. I know that when I am gaining weight, I am napping more. But when I am losing...I can exercise and feel rejuvenated.

You can do it. Find the reasons to be happy. Health, energy, crossing legs easily, able to play with the kids...find your reasons and WRITE them down.


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ZESTYLADY 7/1/2008 10:04AM

    Wish I could give you all kinds of sage advice, but I'm all out of it! I am now four years into a healthy lifestyle and still dance around the whole food thing. Bingeing has been my preferred coping mechanism my entire life. My DH shares the same emotional eating issues so we can lead each other into temptation and full-tilt sinning in a heart beat. My question for you is "What's on the other side of immediate comfort that is worth having?" I'm still working on my own answer to that one. Hope you don't mind that I add you as a friend. I am looking forward to seeing you succeed!

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