Monday, July 21, 2014
Hello! How is everyone? It has been chaotic around my house lately. I have remodel stuff lying around my entire home, been trying to keep up with household chores, all on top of still working full time. So busy! And, the remodel got to be more....complicated. A couple of blogs ago, I mentioned how we had started the bathroom remodel and it was a bigger job than we bargained for? Yeah, well it got even bigger since that time.
This is when I thought it couldn't get any worse! Stripped down to the dirt beneath the beams! But...it did...
Yup, that's the entire wall missing, all the way to nature! HA! You know, at this point, there is no reason to be sad or upset about it. Everything in there is going to be shiny and new right down to the last thread! And, we have had fun doing this project together. I'm just thankful we have the opportunity to do this!
On another note of how blessed we are, I want to share what happened to us today. Justin and I had just gotten home for lunch. He was with Clark and I had gone to our bedroom for a moment. Suddenly, I heard a loud crash! I didn't know the source of it, and I was just sure it was some other part of our house caving in due to the bathroom remodel. However, I looked out our window to see an unhitched trailer had crashed through my fence. By the way, I live on THE busiest road in town--six lanes of pure 24/7 chaos and mayhem. And, this is not the first wacky thing to happen to us since I have lived here. Anyway, there was no sign of the vehicle it should have been attached to, and no sign of an owner. At this point, I had all kinds of crazy things going on in my mind!
Here's what it looked like
He walked up to us, as he had been in front trying to ring the doorbell. Obviously, we were not in the house since a giant trailer had just crashed into our yard! He explained to us what had happened. On the busiest road in this city, his trailer came unhitched while traveling due south. While he tried to stop it, the trailer was traveling so quickly, he couldn't get there in time. Amazingly, as the trailer even crossed in front of north traveling traffic, there was no traffic in that area at that time. For there to be no traffic on this road is almost unheard of, particularly at lunch rush hour. The only time the road is partially bare is in the middle of the night. But, not a car in sight when the trailer came unhitched.
Another miracle? I had left my dogs inside this morning. And the strange thing is, I had a real self-debate about this. I was going to leave them out to play today, because it was such a beautiful morning. But, it felt very warm already and I opted to leave them inside the house. The place where the trailer hit was where my dogs are always laying because they like to watch what goes on around that road. Additionally, Justin had just replaced the main post; it had been an old rotted wooden post, and about six months ago, he put a metal post in its place. The metal is what slowed the harsh blow of the trailer and stopped it just ten feet from my bedroom...where I was when this all happened.
Beyond all that, it missed a bus stop by about 15 feet, missed our tree by maybe five feet, and missed our vegetable garden by 5 or so feet. I am in awe of how God looked out for that situation. I just can't believe it. He is so great, and I am once again amazed by His perfect timing!
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Sparkfriends, I need some help, insight, encouragement...whatever you got, I could probably use it right about now.
So, I'm supposed to be in the midst of my plan! Or at least PRE-planning for my ultimate plan in October. As of last week, I had proclaimed that I was done with wheat/gluten foods, and would be working towards elimination of soda for my next step. Friends, with the mess that remodel became (see previous blog for details about that), I totally didn't follow my no soda plan. I did abstain from wheat though, the entire vacation! I was so proud of myself! However, yesterday, stress reared its ugly head again, and I caved....big time.
You would think that the stress of the remodel would have taken me down for the count, but I think the fact that it was focused stress kept me from stumbling. We did eat a lot more convenience foods, but we mostly ate at home, which was my main goal. That was an accomplishment for us! Yesterday, however, was just a bad day from the start. One, it was a typical rushed Monday, with both of us scrambling around, both of us preparing to go to the office, sleep deprivation. Add on that we had the vacation fog, and the extreme remodeling exhaustion, it was just off to a bad start. And, for all these months that I thought Clark was teething and he never was, NOW he is, and has one tooth really causing him pain. So, he's been very cranky due to pain, and won't even really let me console him much when it gets bad enough--that's stressful in itself. My house is a remodel wreck, and I had SOOO much to catch up on at work. What a giant mess. Anyway, all these things led to my total abandon of health and stress stuffing deluxe yesterday. Did I mention that it was also my first day TOM? Yeah....
So the stuffing ensued. I had a reasonable breakfast, but I knew it was too small when I sat down to eat--again, time constraints. I grabbed a couple of snacks on the way out the door, healthy snacks. But, by the time lunch came around, I had had so much to deal with already, I was just in a foul mood, and wanted to eat something quickly. So we grabbed fast food, and part of that was wheat. STUPID STUPID STUPID!!! In the afternoon, I ate potato chips and had a soda. Then, when dinner came around, I was so exhausted and stressed, we just went out again. And of course, I couldn't resist the delectable breads they serve. I thought, "hey, I already had wheat at lunch. What's one......two.......three.......four, five more doses?" I went WAY too overboard with my wheat consumption and I paid for it so big time. I am still paying for it.
Here are some things that happen to me when I eat wheat:
I sneeze constantly and itch all over. Just the way I used to do when I would mow the lawn. Sneeze, itch, sneeze, itch....
Headaches and severe insomnia.
bloating, abdominal cramps, other stomach issues that I don't need to share here, nausea...you get the picture.
Mystery rashes, mainly around my feet and ankles.
Severe flare-ups of arthritis. Today alone, I can barely walk on my pain-stricken feet, my knees keep giving out, pain shooting all through my back, achy shoulders, and my hand arthritis is super painful as well.
So why do I keep doing this to myself? Why can't I just give up these foods once and for all? They do nothing but cause me physical and yes, even emotional pain. Emotional because every time I deal with this, I begin to crave those foods to bring me comfort, eat them, and then feel mad at myself for causing myself the grief of the response to exposure.
I just told Justin last night that I desire so much more than I can describe, to be mindful of the things I eat, but not obsessed with the things I cannot. I want to just be ok with eating natural, whole foods and not imagining that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Has anyone else ever dealt with this sort of thing? Any insight would be welcome and appreciated. Thanks for hearing my rant!
Saturday, July 12, 2014
This past week, my DH and I took off work for our annual vacation, although this year we decided to stick around and do some much needed remodel. We have been remodeling our home since we got married, and can only work on it gradually as we rebuild funding and time to do it. We hadn't done anything in a year, but that's because we have been having fun else-wise....
So, here we are starting the biggest remodel of the house. Our original thought was, "Yeah! Bathroom remodel time! We have a whole week to focus on that! Woo hoo!" I think a month wouldn't have been sufficient....Let me explain in pictures.
When we started, this was our bathroom...
Not too bad, right? Yeah, it's pretty plain and the tiles needed to be redone, and the floor replaced. The walls were already partially done and the door was previously refinished. No biggie!
We first removed the vanity and sink. Pretty easy!
Then, we removed the laminate flooring. In order that we even things out, Justin felt that it would be best to go ahead and take it down to the sub-flooring, because the stuff in between was pretty old and worn out. When we got to that, some of the sub-flooring came apart too.
This should have been the first sign that things were wrong in our bathroom, but Justin remained positive that this was such an easy fix!
Then, we started taking tiles down from the shower walls! That was fun, but again, the ease of those tiles coming down started to worry us a little.
After those came down, we pulled down the backer boards to find this....
A rotten mess all the way to the framing of the house! Whoever had replaced the tiling before did a shoddy job, and failed to adhere backer boards, or put up a vapor barrier. Thus, rotting wood. This meant that we had to remove a 53 year old cast iron tub, which we intended to keep and refinish...but after a back-breaking move of the thing, we found the floor beneath it completely rotted out, (a piece of it even fell away once the weight of the tub was lifted) and the tub was rusting out like crazy on the bottom.
That was what we found under the tub. Last night we removed all of that rotted flooring, and I haven't taken pics of that yet. So, after an entire week off from work, this is what we are left with. Thankfully we have a gym membership and there are several locations, so we can shower there.
I can't believe how hard the work has been on this bathroom. I mean, honestly we knew it was going to be a task, but really, we weren't expecting it to be this bad. It has been long days of working and feeling like we are getting nowhere. However, I think we now have it to a place where we can start the rebuilding process. It's going to take a while now that we have to go back to work. We will have maybe two hours max to work each night due to Clark's bedtime. Outside of that, it's good-bye weekends for a while. I really am thankful that we chose this time to start it though, because I honestly don't know how much longer that floor under the 300+ lb cast iron tub was going to hold up. What a giant mess that would have been in a cold winter, not to mention the dangers of it. Ugh.... makes me shudder at the thought.
Anyway, so that is what things have been like for me lately. I will still be sparking as much as I am able. I miss everyone tons!
Tuesday, July 01, 2014
For the past several weeks, I have been so busy with so much. Work this time of year is always very crazy for me as it is the end of our fiscal year. That means lots of extra hours (sometimes even at night) and not a lot of time to dedicate to me. Add on that I had company for about two solid weeks, and it has been a pretty crazy month.
I'm very ready to get back to my daily routine again. During this time, I haven't been eating the healthiest, nor have I had the time to exercise the way I would want. I did do well during June about not eating out constantly though. I'm just afraid to step on the scale. I believe I have come up with a plan that will work for me though.
I think one of the reasons I hit a wall with everything is because I tried to take on too much at one time. I felt invincible, and then I hit rock bottom when it all caught up to me. I had this huge realization all at once that there are foods that I just don't need in my life anymore. So, when it caught up to me, I felt helpless, and I turned to all of the foods I knew I didn't need for comfort. Since then, I have gotten back into counseling and that has helped me tremendously. One of the things I have done through that process was sit down and compile a list of memories attached to food to discover the source of my food addiction. Thankfully, it wasn't so much an issue of food attachment, but emotional attachment that just happened to be surrounding food times, so to speak. Once again, my dysfunctional familial relationships are haunting me from afar through another avenue. Ugh. Nonetheless, my counselor said that my seven pages, single-spaced memory recollection that dated back all the way to age 4-ish was remarkable, particularly since it is related to food. She also stated that I was able to do the one thing counselors BEG people with eating disorders to do, which is relate to food situations and recall all environmental factors. I guess I'm closer to healing than I really realized.
All that being said, I have not shared too much publicly about what my future plans are for my journey to total health. I have kicked it around, and for now, I feel like it is mostly a private matter, (although I am willing to answer any questions if my sparkfriends want to know.) I don't want to share for a few reasons; one, my insecurity level right now is through the roof. Here I was at the beginning of the year, doing remarkably well with weight loss and fitness, then BOOM...total fall out. I became depressed, withdrawn, and found myself lacking interest in my health. I haven't mentioned here, but I was so down-trodden for a while, I even kicked around smoking again! Now, that's LOOOOOW. I think I am through that for the most part now though. Another reason I hesitate to fully share my plan also is because it is extreme. I will write a disclaimer and say that I have been given the go-ahead by my doctors, and have also been told that my plan will be fully overseen by them. But, it is extreme, and I know that for it to work for me, I will have to fully trust in God. I know this from my experience of quitting smoking--can't do it without Him.
Once I feel comfortable, I will definitely share my plans here openly. For now, I would really just like to get back on track with everyone here, pick up reading blogs every day, and just checking in with my friends. I hope this blog finds all of you well!
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Good morning! It's a lovely Tuesday morning after a nice long weekend of MUCH NEEDED rain. It rained off and on all weekend long and it was amazing! We have been in a serious drought for a long time now, and with the threat of wildfires and blazing temperatures in the summers, it's always welcome to rain as much as it wants!
The past week has been amazing for me in every way--physically, mentally, spiritually...just great! I can't believe how much better I have felt just by eating the foods I know will heal me. My joints are starting to not ache as much, my stomach is feeling much better again-no antacids in three days, my allergies are going away again. What a giant relief and when I feel better physically, everything else pretty much falls into place.
One thing I have decided to do for a while is to put the scale away. It is literally under my house. Justin hid it there because he knows the temptation to get on the scale will surpass at the thought of me having to climb in a tiny confined place just to get to it. Could I go weigh myself at the gym? Certainly! But, I usually stay away from other scales because they all vary so much. I know for me personally, weighing on a constant basis is detrimental for my emotional health. So, I'm eating healthy, I'm getting exercise, I'm taking all of my supplements, and I'm in a better place. No needed to make me feel any better.
I also cleaned out my wardrobe this long weekend. I got rid of all the clothes that are much too big for me; as tempting as it is to want to hide underneath loads of fabric, it doesn't help my emotional stability. Additionally, I cleaned out clothes that are much too skinny for me. While I always believed that it was a positive thing to hang on to "goal" clothes, I'm not too sure I feel this way anymore. I really think that wearing clothes on my body the way it is in the present is the healthiest thing for me to do.
Anyway, I hope everyone has an amazing week ahead of them!
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