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Thanking God When the Unexpected Happens

Monday, July 21, 2014

Hello! How is everyone? It has been chaotic around my house lately. I have remodel stuff lying around my entire home, been trying to keep up with household chores, all on top of still working full time. So busy! And, the remodel got to be more....complicated. A couple of blogs ago, I mentioned how we had started the bathroom remodel and it was a bigger job than we bargained for? Yeah, well it got even bigger since that time.

This is when I thought it couldn't get any worse! Stripped down to the dirt beneath the beams! But...it did...

Yup, that's the entire wall missing, all the way to nature! HA! You know, at this point, there is no reason to be sad or upset about it. Everything in there is going to be shiny and new right down to the last thread! And, we have had fun doing this project together. I'm just thankful we have the opportunity to do this!

On another note of how blessed we are, I want to share what happened to us today. Justin and I had just gotten home for lunch. He was with Clark and I had gone to our bedroom for a moment. Suddenly, I heard a loud crash! I didn't know the source of it, and I was just sure it was some other part of our house caving in due to the bathroom remodel. However, I looked out our window to see an unhitched trailer had crashed through my fence. By the way, I live on THE busiest road in town--six lanes of pure 24/7 chaos and mayhem. And, this is not the first wacky thing to happen to us since I have lived here. Anyway, there was no sign of the vehicle it should have been attached to, and no sign of an owner. At this point, I had all kinds of crazy things going on in my mind!

Here's what it looked like

He walked up to us, as he had been in front trying to ring the doorbell. Obviously, we were not in the house since a giant trailer had just crashed into our yard! He explained to us what had happened. On the busiest road in this city, his trailer came unhitched while traveling due south. While he tried to stop it, the trailer was traveling so quickly, he couldn't get there in time. Amazingly, as the trailer even crossed in front of north traveling traffic, there was no traffic in that area at that time. For there to be no traffic on this road is almost unheard of, particularly at lunch rush hour. The only time the road is partially bare is in the middle of the night. But, not a car in sight when the trailer came unhitched.

Another miracle? I had left my dogs inside this morning. And the strange thing is, I had a real self-debate about this. I was going to leave them out to play today, because it was such a beautiful morning. But, it felt very warm already and I opted to leave them inside the house. The place where the trailer hit was where my dogs are always laying because they like to watch what goes on around that road. Additionally, Justin had just replaced the main post; it had been an old rotted wooden post, and about six months ago, he put a metal post in its place. The metal is what slowed the harsh blow of the trailer and stopped it just ten feet from my bedroom...where I was when this all happened. emoticon

Beyond all that, it missed a bus stop by about 15 feet, missed our tree by maybe five feet, and missed our vegetable garden by 5 or so feet. I am in awe of how God looked out for that situation. I just can't believe it. He is so great, and I am once again amazed by His perfect timing! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_LINDA 7/22/2014 12:40AM

    Wow! So very glad no one was hurt, human or animal!! That would be leaving me with the shakes for quite some time! Now that you describe it, I sure wish you lived in a much safer place :-( When little children get older, they get more inquisitive and smarter to go roaming and can sometimes figure out how to open doors and latches and be off and running. I escaped many a time and once, my frantic Mom found me walking across the bridge! emoticon
Please be very careful about safety and make it a priority in any house work needing doing.
Sorry to hear yet more problems are being discovered with your remodel. Praying it doesn't turn into a money pit for you :-((
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VEG954 7/21/2014 9:52PM

  So glad no one was injured.
Miracles happen continually.
We simply have to trust the process.

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SAASHA17 7/21/2014 8:04PM

    Hi C

that is scary..glad everyone as fine and nothing happened...take care


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LIVEDAILY 7/21/2014 6:39PM

    Wow! That goes to show you that you should always listen to that little voice inside of you! Aren't you glad you did? I'm so glad no one was hurt!!

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SUE5007 7/21/2014 4:45PM

    Amazing miracles!

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Why, Oh Why, Do I Continue to Punish Myself?

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Sparkfriends, I need some help, insight, encouragement...whatever you got, I could probably use it right about now.

So, I'm supposed to be in the midst of my plan! Or at least PRE-planning for my ultimate plan in October. As of last week, I had proclaimed that I was done with wheat/gluten foods, and would be working towards elimination of soda for my next step. Friends, with the mess that remodel became (see previous blog for details about that), I totally didn't follow my no soda plan. I did abstain from wheat though, the entire vacation! I was so proud of myself! However, yesterday, stress reared its ugly head again, and I caved....big time.

You would think that the stress of the remodel would have taken me down for the count, but I think the fact that it was focused stress kept me from stumbling. We did eat a lot more convenience foods, but we mostly ate at home, which was my main goal. That was an accomplishment for us! Yesterday, however, was just a bad day from the start. One, it was a typical rushed Monday, with both of us scrambling around, both of us preparing to go to the office, sleep deprivation. Add on that we had the vacation fog, and the extreme remodeling exhaustion, it was just off to a bad start. And, for all these months that I thought Clark was teething and he never was, NOW he is, and has one tooth really causing him pain. So, he's been very cranky due to pain, and won't even really let me console him much when it gets bad enough--that's stressful in itself. My house is a remodel wreck, and I had SOOO much to catch up on at work. What a giant mess. Anyway, all these things led to my total abandon of health and stress stuffing deluxe yesterday. Did I mention that it was also my first day TOM? Yeah....

So the stuffing ensued. I had a reasonable breakfast, but I knew it was too small when I sat down to eat--again, time constraints. I grabbed a couple of snacks on the way out the door, healthy snacks. But, by the time lunch came around, I had had so much to deal with already, I was just in a foul mood, and wanted to eat something quickly. So we grabbed fast food, and part of that was wheat. STUPID STUPID STUPID!!! emoticon In the afternoon, I ate potato chips and had a soda. Then, when dinner came around, I was so exhausted and stressed, we just went out again. And of course, I couldn't resist the delectable breads they serve. I thought, "hey, I already had wheat at lunch. What's one......two.......three.......four, five more doses?" I went WAY too overboard with my wheat consumption and I paid for it so big time. I am still paying for it.

Here are some things that happen to me when I eat wheat:

emoticon I sneeze constantly and itch all over. Just the way I used to do when I would mow the lawn. Sneeze, itch, sneeze, itch....

emoticon Headaches and severe insomnia.

emoticon bloating, abdominal cramps, other stomach issues that I don't need to share here, nausea...you get the picture.

emoticon Mystery rashes, mainly around my feet and ankles.

emoticon Severe flare-ups of arthritis. Today alone, I can barely walk on my pain-stricken feet, my knees keep giving out, pain shooting all through my back, achy shoulders, and my hand arthritis is super painful as well.

emoticon So why do I keep doing this to myself? Why can't I just give up these foods once and for all? They do nothing but cause me physical and yes, even emotional pain. Emotional because every time I deal with this, I begin to crave those foods to bring me comfort, eat them, and then feel mad at myself for causing myself the grief of the response to exposure.

I just told Justin last night that I desire so much more than I can describe, to be mindful of the things I eat, but not obsessed with the things I cannot. I want to just be ok with eating natural, whole foods and not imagining that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Has anyone else ever dealt with this sort of thing? Any insight would be welcome and appreciated. Thanks for hearing my rant! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELSAT137 7/17/2014 10:14PM

    Hi Caiti -
I too struggle with this same issue. I think part of the root is spiritual. If you are struggling physically - Satan can tempt you. He knows just where you are weak and just what would tempt you. He is very strategic in his plan to do whatever he can to defeat you. If he can make you a mess physically - he can keep you focused on things other than God and what God has for you. I am preaching to myself here because I have been struggling with the same things. God wants to be our main and only focus. Are you getting your time in the word and time with God?When everything in life presses in- that is what we need even more- even if it seems like we don't have time. You can do it! You already have victory. Greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world!!!

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AQUAGIRL08 7/15/2014 7:22PM

    My doctor suggested to me that if I want to go gluten and wheat free, I need to substitute with something that is wheat and gluten free. He suggested keeping little brown rice bowls (Uncle Ben's) , sweet potatoes and gluten free pasta around for quick access. When I cook sweet potatoes, I fix 2-3 of them at a time and put the unused portions in the refrigerator for later use. My daughter can't have gluten. When she stays with us, I cook gluten free for all of us. Some gluten free foods have a higher calorie count but brown rice, gluten free pasta and a few other gluten free foods have fiber and protein in them. I try to look for those foods that aren't very processed if possible. I am currently experimenting to see what works for me. I am not totally gluten free myself but over time, I imagine I will be.

All it takes is pre-planning when you go to the grocery store. Since many salad dressings, sauces, ice cream, puddings can contain thickening agents made with wheat and or gluten, I make my own most of the time. I think that it takes a while to make it a habit, so please don't beat yourself up. With practice, you will automatically start making better decisions. Don't forget to ask for the special diet menus when you eat out. My daughter has taught me that chain restaurants usually have them. They list gluten free menu items, give the sodium content and a variety of other things.

Last of all, give yourself a break. (I struggle with this constantly.) I agree with the suggestions from 4MYKIDS4ME and may print off some of the suggestions too. Thanks for sharing!

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_LINDA 7/15/2014 7:11PM

    Wow! Sounds like you have a serious gluten intolerance?? And don't we all blow a gasket when things build up and something has to give? Of course we turn to our comfort foods. This set back certainly doesn't mean its over. There is never any shame in starting over again and start taking small steps towards healthier choices. The most critical thing is for you to do now is avoid wheat at all costs. You have an amazing, kind supportive hubby. You two have to decide no more eating out temptations. You both need to find the time to look after yourselves, as a team. A healthy couple is a happy couple. You are important too and worth looking after. If you are on a new Moms Spark team, ask if anyone has a home remedy for helping with teething. Maybe there is a safe topical pain reliever.
Meditation or yoga, something to bring you down, practised for a few minutes any time you can feel things building up. Kind of like a personal time out. Go to your own little world, your own corner. Just what the other lady was suggesting, breathing. Or if your stress is an angry stress, a short kickboxing workout (like Spark videos) to get the aggression out. Exercise or some form of activity has always been my stress reliever and also keeps my hands busy and away from my favorite snacks..
Being a young working Mom with a condition to deal with is Hell on Wheels. Don't know how you keep your sanity! But you are strong. You will push through this. For yourself. For your family.
You are not alone.
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VEG954 7/15/2014 3:52PM

  Sounds like your family is going thru a lot right now.
You got some excellent suggestions from the previous comment.
I ditto that.
You don't have to have a food tantrum and punish yourself let alone suffer the consequences.
Go easy on yourself.
Treat yourself like you would treat others in the same situation.
Time takes time...

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4MYKIDS4ME 7/15/2014 3:10PM

    Ok - First and foremost - stop beating yourself up - YOU ARE ONLY HUMAN - repeat after me - "I AM ONLY HUMAN"

Ok - next - know that I have no success story to tell you. I too fall off the bandwagon - apparently way more times than I get back on it (and yes, it apparently is possible to fall off something you're not even on).

So - the question really should be - how do you get back on the bandwagon - or in your case - back on your plan....

My advice:

1. Just stop and breathe. Seriously. Deep breath in from the bottom of your belly. Slowly. Count as you go. Now release the deep breath slowly, county as you exhale & pushing that breath completely out. Repeat. Do this 5 times. Do it 5 more times.

2. Write out 5 things you are grateful for. Not 3, but 5. Your choice. Write them out completely, word by word. Now read them back to yourself (out loud if you can). Commit to doing this daily - EXCEPT you're not allowed to repeat any of your gratitudes. Shoot for doing this every day for 7 days.

Now you're thinking what does this have to do with weight loss or controlling what you eat.... It doesn't exactly, but......... sometimes you need to shake things up and focus on the positives. And what do the positives show you? They show you that you CAN do what you set your mind to do. rather than focus on the one set-back, focus on the 7 good days or what have you.

So now that you are hopefully remembering all that you can do right, let's think of ways to help you do more right.

My suggestion:
Print that list you wrote here about those things that happen to you when you eat wheat and post it - on the fridge, in the pantry, at your desk, on the breadbox, on your car's glove box. Reprint it periodically with different fonts & sizes & colors and replace so they catch your eye. And just focus on that for a few a while. Everybody needs a reminder. And those things sound like things you don't enjoy experiencing - so just help yourself out and remember.... emoticon

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Remodeling is a Pretty Good Workout!

Saturday, July 12, 2014

This past week, my DH and I took off work for our annual vacation, although this year we decided to stick around and do some much needed remodel. We have been remodeling our home since we got married, and can only work on it gradually as we rebuild funding and time to do it. We hadn't done anything in a year, but that's because we have been having fun else-wise....

So, here we are starting the biggest remodel of the house. Our original thought was, "Yeah! Bathroom remodel time! We have a whole week to focus on that! Woo hoo!" I think a month wouldn't have been sufficient....Let me explain in pictures.

When we started, this was our bathroom...

Not too bad, right? Yeah, it's pretty plain and the tiles needed to be redone, and the floor replaced. The walls were already partially done and the door was previously refinished. No biggie!

We first removed the vanity and sink. Pretty easy!

Then, we removed the laminate flooring. In order that we even things out, Justin felt that it would be best to go ahead and take it down to the sub-flooring, because the stuff in between was pretty old and worn out. When we got to that, some of the sub-flooring came apart too.

This should have been the first sign that things were wrong in our bathroom, but Justin remained positive that this was such an easy fix!

Then, we started taking tiles down from the shower walls! That was fun, but again, the ease of those tiles coming down started to worry us a little.

After those came down, we pulled down the backer boards to find this....

A rotten mess all the way to the framing of the house! Whoever had replaced the tiling before did a shoddy job, and failed to adhere backer boards, or put up a vapor barrier. Thus, rotting wood. This meant that we had to remove a 53 year old cast iron tub, which we intended to keep and refinish...but after a back-breaking move of the thing, we found the floor beneath it completely rotted out, (a piece of it even fell away once the weight of the tub was lifted) and the tub was rusting out like crazy on the bottom.

That was what we found under the tub. Last night we removed all of that rotted flooring, and I haven't taken pics of that yet. So, after an entire week off from work, this is what we are left with. Thankfully we have a gym membership and there are several locations, so we can shower there.

I can't believe how hard the work has been on this bathroom. I mean, honestly we knew it was going to be a task, but really, we weren't expecting it to be this bad. It has been long days of working and feeling like we are getting nowhere. However, I think we now have it to a place where we can start the rebuilding process. It's going to take a while now that we have to go back to work. We will have maybe two hours max to work each night due to Clark's bedtime. Outside of that, it's good-bye weekends for a while. I really am thankful that we chose this time to start it though, because I honestly don't know how much longer that floor under the 300+ lb cast iron tub was going to hold up. What a giant mess that would have been in a cold winter, not to mention the dangers of it. Ugh.... makes me shudder at the thought. emoticon

Anyway, so that is what things have been like for me lately. I will still be sparking as much as I am able. I miss everyone tons! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_LINDA 7/13/2014 12:51AM

    Wow! That is one can of worms you opened up!! So glad it was discovered before something bad happened! That is just scary!! Its a shame you couldn't afford a professional contractor to finish this up right (where is Mike Holmes when you need him?)
Good luck with it, don't envy you :(

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VEG954 7/12/2014 11:35AM

  Did you ever see a movie called The Money Pit?
Your blog really reminded me of that movie.
I can relate... When I bought my condo I had a mini disaster.
It was easy to remedy and felt I was done.
Then came a hurricane and had many leaks, a blown out window, broken beyond repair central cooling and heating unit. and soaked carpet.
Along with all that the upstairs condo had both toilets leaking thru my ceilings, then their hot water heater caused another leak.
About half of my ceilings had to be replaced after the mold was removed.
Carpet was replaced and closets were rebuilt.
A few years go by and am grateful all is well.
Then a car drove into my kitchen and entry.
Had to move out for 9 months.
Reconstruction took forever.
Now fast forward... Insurance paid for all of the crash repairs!
I am back home and am, once again, a happy camper.

Wish you and yours the best!

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Coming up with a Plan

Tuesday, July 01, 2014

For the past several weeks, I have been so busy with so much. Work this time of year is always very crazy for me as it is the end of our fiscal year. That means lots of extra hours (sometimes even at night) and not a lot of time to dedicate to me. Add on that I had company for about two solid weeks, and it has been a pretty crazy month.

I'm very ready to get back to my daily routine again. During this time, I haven't been eating the healthiest, nor have I had the time to exercise the way I would want. I did do well during June about not eating out constantly though. I'm just afraid to step on the scale. I believe I have come up with a plan that will work for me though.

I think one of the reasons I hit a wall with everything is because I tried to take on too much at one time. I felt invincible, and then I hit rock bottom when it all caught up to me. I had this huge realization all at once that there are foods that I just don't need in my life anymore. So, when it caught up to me, I felt helpless, and I turned to all of the foods I knew I didn't need for comfort. Since then, I have gotten back into counseling and that has helped me tremendously. One of the things I have done through that process was sit down and compile a list of memories attached to food to discover the source of my food addiction. Thankfully, it wasn't so much an issue of food attachment, but emotional attachment that just happened to be surrounding food times, so to speak. Once again, my dysfunctional familial relationships are haunting me from afar through another avenue. Ugh. Nonetheless, my counselor said that my seven pages, single-spaced memory recollection that dated back all the way to age 4-ish was remarkable, particularly since it is related to food. She also stated that I was able to do the one thing counselors BEG people with eating disorders to do, which is relate to food situations and recall all environmental factors. I guess I'm closer to healing than I really realized.

All that being said, I have not shared too much publicly about what my future plans are for my journey to total health. I have kicked it around, and for now, I feel like it is mostly a private matter, (although I am willing to answer any questions if my sparkfriends want to know.) emoticon I don't want to share for a few reasons; one, my insecurity level right now is through the roof. Here I was at the beginning of the year, doing remarkably well with weight loss and fitness, then BOOM...total fall out. I became depressed, withdrawn, and found myself lacking interest in my health. I haven't mentioned here, but I was so down-trodden for a while, I even kicked around smoking again! emoticon Now, that's LOOOOOW. I think I am through that for the most part now though. Another reason I hesitate to fully share my plan also is because it is extreme. I will write a disclaimer and say that I have been given the go-ahead by my doctors, and have also been told that my plan will be fully overseen by them. But, it is extreme, and I know that for it to work for me, I will have to fully trust in God. I know this from my experience of quitting smoking--can't do it without Him.

Once I feel comfortable, I will definitely share my plans here openly. For now, I would really just like to get back on track with everyone here, pick up reading blogs every day, and just checking in with my friends. I hope this blog finds all of you well!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GIGERNREZNOR 7/7/2014 8:03PM

    Are you going to try raw? A friend of mine at work is eating raw now and is doing great. She's had some recent cancer scares, so I think that's part of it, for her. I was personally thinking of trying it for a week to at least detox and see what it does for my energy levels. I may wait until I'm done nursing, however. Anyhow, that's one of the most "extreme" food movements I can think of, so yeah. Are you still nursing?

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DNJEN471 7/7/2014 11:20AM

    Your awesome! And will achieve your goals, I'm sure of it!!

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DNJEN471 7/7/2014 11:20AM

    Your awesome! And will achieve your goals, I'm sure of it!!

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DSHONEYC 7/2/2014 11:08AM

    You got the right first step...

4 So you will find favor and good repute In the sight of God and man. 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Prov 3:5

When discouraged, frustrated, hurt or angry I give it to Him. The burden is lifted and I can move forward, trusting that the Lord will show me the way.

Whatever you need ... emoticon

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JSPIN74 7/2/2014 8:58AM

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POOKASLUAGH 7/2/2014 7:08AM

    I'm sorry things have been so low for you, but I'm glad to hear they're starting to look up. I wouldn't mind hearing more about the plan you've worked out with your doctors, privately. :)

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JD394471 7/2/2014 12:55AM

I know you can do it.
We all have set backs but you are a strong woman, and I have a lot of confidence iny you. (just please do not go back to smoking)
anything I can do, just let me know.

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_LINDA 7/2/2014 12:33AM

    Wow! I am so glad you are supervision by medical personnel and have their approval for this extreme plan of yours!! Every time I read about Spark friends going on strange diets I worry for their health. But you are at least being smart about it! You are determined to get on track and it sounds like you have a great team to help you along the way!
Keep us updated if you can!
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THEEXERCISER 7/1/2014 11:47PM


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Putting the Scale Away

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Good morning! It's a lovely Tuesday morning after a nice long weekend of MUCH NEEDED rain. It rained off and on all weekend long and it was amazing! emoticon We have been in a serious drought for a long time now, and with the threat of wildfires and blazing temperatures in the summers, it's always welcome to rain as much as it wants!

The past week has been amazing for me in every way--physically, mentally, spiritually...just great! I can't believe how much better I have felt just by eating the foods I know will heal me. My joints are starting to not ache as much, my stomach is feeling much better again-no antacids in three days, my allergies are going away again. What a giant relief and when I feel better physically, everything else pretty much falls into place.

One thing I have decided to do for a while is to put the scale away. It is literally under my house. Justin hid it there because he knows the temptation to get on the scale will surpass at the thought of me having to climb in a tiny confined place just to get to it. Could I go weigh myself at the gym? Certainly! But, I usually stay away from other scales because they all vary so much. I know for me personally, weighing on a constant basis is detrimental for my emotional health. So, I'm eating healthy, I'm getting exercise, I'm taking all of my supplements, and I'm in a better place. No emoticon needed to make me feel any better.

I also cleaned out my wardrobe this long weekend. I got rid of all the clothes that are much too big for me; as tempting as it is to want to hide underneath loads of fabric, it doesn't help my emotional stability. Additionally, I cleaned out clothes that are much too skinny for me. While I always believed that it was a positive thing to hang on to "goal" clothes, I'm not too sure I feel this way anymore. I really think that wearing clothes on my body the way it is in the present is the healthiest thing for me to do.

Anyway, I hope everyone has an amazing week ahead of them! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RIDMYCOCOON 5/27/2014 12:45PM

    emoticon emoticon

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DNJEN471 5/27/2014 12:38PM

    I need to go through my closet as well. It's not doing me any good to wear big baggy clothes. emoticon

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_LINDA 5/27/2014 11:04AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
You have taken a great burden off your mind and releasing all those cages of clothing too big too small and the scale. Accepting yourself for who you are now is the best thing you could have done. Getting back to the healthy eating that is making you feel good is more motivation to continue! Was very happy to see this great news this morning, brightened my day!
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    It is good not to be a slave to the scale when there are so many other benchmarks against which to measure oneself

Make Today the Greatest Day of Your Life

emoticon Until Tomorrow!

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SAASHA17 5/27/2014 10:39AM

    good thought process...u can do this!! woohoo...

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