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Can You Shake Sense into Someone?

Friday, April 15, 2011

Ever wish you could just snap your finger and the world as you know it would fall into alignment?

I was talking with my mom yesterday and she's telling me about this new diet she's trying. For 6 days you eat only vegetables and protein-primarily beans- and drink only water. Then on the 7th day you eat whatever you want. I guess the trick is you slow down your metabolism (your energy, patience, liklihood of good decision-making skills...) for those 6 days and on the 7th day your body is shocked with all the foods it's been deprived of and you lose a bunch of weight. And you keep this up until you get really sick of beans then binge on a ton of food and gain all the weight back. I'm sure the book phrased it a little differently than that, but that's what I gathered from it.

I WISH I could pour my thoughts and habits about food and exercise into her head so it could all just click. She signed up on SP a while ago but didn't like the online aspect of it and the need to constantly track food. She said it "wasn't for her". So when we were talking yesterday I asked her why she just doesn't write out her meals for the week so she doesn't have to worry about tracking online and after a couple of weeks she could LEARN how to eat and quit doing these ridiculous fad diets. She claims she knows how to eat but that she just wants to see a big drop on the scale then she'll slowly reintroduce foods and start eating healthier. Magically, I suppose...

I guess I can't speak for her, or anyone else but me for that matter, but I was astonished at how much I learned about portions and nutrients my first few weeks on here. I'm still learning every day but WOW, what a difference it's made in my life. It really is the SIMPLEST thing. Eat well + exercise = weight loss. I was also incredibly grateful to find out now that I've begun running 3-4 days a week that I'm SUPPOSED to eat more carbs. Doth my ears deceive me, or is that an angelic choir I hear? I LOVE carbs. How exciting is it that I get to eat a cup of pasta instead of a 1/2 cup?!

I want so badly to help her "see the light" but if someone is unwilling you can't shove it down their throat. It just makes me sad because I know what being overweight feels like. I know how badly your back and knees hurt; I know how much clothes shopping sucks; I know being in pictures is a nightmare; I know how awful it is to rotate through the same 5 outfits every week because you've somehow managed to eat your way out of all your skinny clothes; I know depression, inside and out; I know what avoiding public outings feels like; I know loniless; I know envy; I know tears; I know the temptations. I've been there. On bad days, I still struggle with some of these things. But I know the flip side of it, too.

I know the exhiliration of needing to get a smaller size to try on; I know the happy shock that hits you when you see a picture of yourself after it's just been taken; I know the glorious simplicity of getting dressed in under 2 minutes; I know the proud feeling that hits me after making good food choices; I know the amazing feeling of pushing my body to its limit; I know the way I feel during a run; I know energy; I know peace...

What I don't know is how to relay all this to someone without getting preachy or condescending. Any other Sparkers experiencing the same frustrations? How are you handling these challenges?

Today's song to check out: Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SKATVEN 4/15/2011 5:07PM

    I had a similar dead end argument with my Mom over natural peanut butter vs. Jif... you know hydrogenated oils bad. I might as well have been talking to myself.

The crazy basic thing about weightloss is that in the end no matter what scheme you have wieght watchers points or beans... it comes down to basic math... eat less than you burn....I mean we are human and our bodies fluctuate... but in the end... burn 7 calories eat 5 calories== -2!

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HALF_THE_GIRL 4/15/2011 1:05PM

    I have friends that I've told about SP who couldn't care less about tracking their progress .
They will try the next fad or gimmick lose 15 pounds and then gain 30 back .
I've done it too , but I have changed since finding SP as long as I keep up with it I do great!!

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RLA1891 4/15/2011 12:49PM

    Excuse me . . . did you just go rooting around in my head to write this blog. Be careful in there. I cannot guarantee what you will stumble upon.

Seriously though I am feeling at one with you right now. emoticon

I believe one day your mom will really see you for the transformation you have become and will figure it out. Until then you can only make casual suggestions with love and you will be amazed how many she actually starts to pick up on without either of you realizing it.

Happy weekend! emoticon

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JAYA_EOS 4/15/2011 12:41PM

    I can relate to both. My "specialties" were crash diets. Those were "the quickest fix". I would eat until I reach the point of feeling bad and then I would decide to get rid of it virtually overnight. They were always successful weight wise, but naturally you start eating again and the weight comes back.

Now I focus primarily on training and don't pay that much attention to food. I eat everything (but sugary stuff) in moderate portions, and sometimes I do end up craving for more but not really hungry. I look at food as a fuel that would get me through my next workout (among other things).

I hope your mom starts making better choices and starts feeling better. I know from personal experience that when you start doing "crazy" things, it's just a sign how bad you feel on the inside.

I am sending you and your mom the bestest vibes possible.


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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

So Brooklyn and I watch a couple of Sesame Street videos every morning to kick our day off and there's one with Will.I.Am where he sings a really uplifting song with a decent beat. Here's the video.


Also, I LOVE when Usher's song comes up on my Pandora radio station because it usually pushes me through that last leg of my run. Be sure you read the lyrics if you don't already have them memorized.


Now, go get motivated, Sparkers!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RLA1891 4/13/2011 12:32PM

    oonce oonce oonce oonce woot woot get low get low uhhh to the window . . .

Sorry I got carried away. Thanks for the tunes! emoticon emoticon

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Un-fat Tuesday

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

This exact time last year I wrote a blog on Fat Tuesday. It went like this...

"Fat Tuesday… and Wednesday
February 17, 2010 by Danielle
There’s nothing quite like killing your diet than with 2 paczkis and an empty promise to try better the next day… or the day after you eat 4 slices of deep dish pizza. I’m thoroughly conviced that in my efforts to scrifice on behalf of the Lord’s intentions I will somehow always find a way around my promises. No sweets, you say? Then how about mounds of wonderful salts and cheeses and buttery-baked crusts with the finest of Italian sauces? Wonderful.

In other news, after months of chasing our tails in the attempt at buying a house, we finally got down and dirty with the realtors. It gave both the hubby and me a chance to project all our internalized feelings of angst onto the people who are finding us a house. One way or another the temper tantrums will yield results. Much like in one way or another my lack of dieting discipline will yield results: I grow fat and happy with my bean pole of a husband or I grow fat and divorced and bleach my naturally black hair blonde as seems to be the trend with most end-of-their-rope mothers…"

Wow... Who was that depressed woman and where did she go? I'll tell you! She accidentally stumbled across some papers while moving into her new house about dieting tips and recipes with one, small, little Post-it note stuck to one of the papers that said "Sparkpeople.com". Years before that her friend had given her lots of dieting materials and a webpage she'd found that boasted a free diet plan but had promptly thrown them into a box labeled "Misc.".

She logged on later that night after rediscovering these papers and made a SP account. The food didn't seem like it would be that bad and by now she was so desperate to lose the weight she'd try just about anything.

She started slowly with just altering her meals and not yet adding exercise. After 10 days she'd lost 7lbs- WOW! She wondered what would happen if she began taking brisk walks...

Four weeks later she was down 15lbs and was no longer wearing her MATERNITY pants! (Praise God!!)

Flash forward 8 months to March 2011...

This woman managed to drop 39lbs and is now as skinny as she was when she first met her husband. She's able to wear 100% of the clothes in her closet (including outfits from high school!). She doesn't shy away from public events because she's no longer worried about people staring at "the fat girl". She regained lost romance in her marriage and is now making it a mission to inspire others to join her on her LIFESTYLE change.

That woman, on Fat Tuesday, stuck to her training schedule for the first 5k she'll ever run in April. That woman is not seduced by desserts the way she used to be. That woman found healthy outlets for stress instead of turning to food. That woman owes her accomplishments to SparkPeople.com and to all of the amazing people she's met on here who encourage her to keep going and to get back up when she falls. She owes it to her supportive husband who, more than once, had to remind her of why she was doing this and hold her while she cried about her failures.

That woman is a changed, proud woman.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REBECCALYN10 3/10/2011 12:02PM

    LOVE this blog! thank you for the inspiration...i miss you and hope we can get together for a walk so soon :)

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CHICAGOBEARS34 3/9/2011 7:12AM

    Love it... what an inspiration. Good luck on the 5k. You will do great! emoticon emoticon

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KC117STER 3/8/2011 6:16PM

    You are emoticon

What a wonderful thing to stumble upon and realize how far you have really came! No more "fat girl"!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LORRY_JAYNE 3/8/2011 4:22PM


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Empty Nestle Syndrome

Monday, August 30, 2010

First off, my biggest apologies to REBECCALYN10 and JBLAYLOCK. I promise I'm not ditching out on the walks intentionally. It's been a crazy couple of weeks. Not that that is any excuse... Let's try and plan for something this week.

Marriage is a lot harder than it's chalked up to be. I feel like a robot. Every day is the same. We never do anything unpredicatable and it seems like we don't have a lot to talk about... circling back to the "every day is the same" statement. I'm not "falling out of love" nor do I have feelings of resentment. I just wish I knew how to make things be exciting again.

Billy works 12-14 hours a day so when he gets home he's dog tired. I feel badly asking him to play catch outside or do other outdoor activities because I know all he wants to do is relax. And there is absolutely no shame in that. If I got up at the butt crack of dawn everyday, I'd look forward to flopping down on the sofa too. But I feel like we're in a rut. We are YOUNG. Yes, we have a child. Yes, we have the responsibility of maintaining a household. But that shouldn't make me feel like "this is it". For the rest of our lives together THIS will be our routine. I'll snap if that happens. It's also, I've found, what makes me emotionally eat. Last week was the first time since I began this journey that I ate my feelings. Granted, it was not anywhere close to how it used to be when I did that, but I can't deny the empty Nestle chocolate bag that's now in the trash.

So, fellow Sparkers, what do I do? Do I pick up a part time job at night, after B is in bed, so that Billy won't have to work as many hours and we can enjoy each other again? Or do I suck it up and hope that "this too shall pass" and rely on the idea that one day things will be less stressful? I cannot allow us to get into a marriage rut when we're only one year deep. We took vows for better or for worse and we BOTH plan on sticking to those. But if I can change the "worse" into the "better", why suffer the monotony of every day routines?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHICAGOBEARS34 9/9/2010 5:50AM

    Hey lady,
hope you are doing better. I think the first year is the hardest.. So much change !!!! On Sept 26 I will be married for 13 years (together for 19) . I still feel like I am in a rut some times. Stick with it. Give it 110 percent. You owe it to your precious daughter and yourself to be committed. EVERYONE goes through ups and downs. Everything wonderful in life is a lot of work...marriage is no exception. Keep your chin up. emoticon

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JBLAYLOCK 9/2/2010 6:30PM

    First of all, no worries about the walks! We all have things that come up. Just look at me, fractured foot! I hope I can walk next weekend! I really am stressing out because I can't work out.
Secondly, everyone goes through a marriage rut. I too am in one right now. Tyson and I are struggling to find out what's not working right now in our marriage. I don't think that you getting a job at night is going to help anything. If you do that, then you'll never see him! I would focus on making sure that when Billy comes home, things around the house are all taken care of so you two can spend time together. Incorporate your time with Brooklyn's time with Dad. You should all go outside together as a family and spend some quality time in the sun! Sorry I really don't have any great advice.

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Can't Take Back the Past...

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

...So how do I try and make things right with people that I can't apologize to?

I just finished reading the book My Trip to Hell. I'll be the first to say it wasn't the greatest book out there; a little juvenille sounding at times and the ending was ridiculous, but the things it focused on really made me think about the person I am and the things I've done in the past that hurt people.

What are some things you Sparkers do to keep yourself in check? I feel like my temper is a big issue. I joke that I have an "Italian attitude with an Irish temper", but at the root of it, it's not all that funny when it hinders relationships in my life. I've become a more patient person than I was even 3 years ago, but my ability to keep my mouth shut, now, still doesn't stop the thoughts in my head of what I *wish* I could say to people who wrong me. I know I will slip up, and I'm certainly not striving for perfection, but I don't want to hang onto things anymore. I want the ability to "let go and let God".

Any suggestions?

Today's song to check out: Prepare for the Fight by the Lovemakers

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ARIEENA 7/28/2010 12:00PM

    Hi, I just wanted to affirm that once you have the ability to "Let Go and Let God", you will see miracles happen in your life and in the life of those around you. I know it's not an easy thing to do, when we want to have control, or feel that it's our responsibility to help yourself or others. But from personal experience I can say once I stopped worrying and stopped trying to fix one of my family members, and handed it over to God, immediately (I mean within a day or two) God changed this family members attitude and helped them get the help they needed which probably saved their life. Waiting lists were over rode and opportunities opened up for this person. And now this person has lost 40 to 50 pounds, is so much healthier, has a new job and is active in the world again. My own stress level is down because I don't worry about this person as much as I use to, and I learned that their life is not my responsibility, and that worrying is useless, it doesn't prevent or change anything but adds more stress to the worrier. I know that God has the bigger picture and knows the heart of each person and what they need. This was only one example of how God has shown up in my life when I called on him. I have many situations in my life where he has intervened on my behalf. When are are expecting miracles and keeping the faith that's when we clear the way for God to make miracles for us.

I want to complement you on your wanting to let go of your anger of those that have done you wrong. I know God can help you with this. You may want to pray something like this.."God release angers hold on my heart, help me to learn forgiveness and mercy. Help me to realize that that what others say to or about me, does not change my truth about who I am. Please work in the lives of those that are bitter towards me and who lash out at me because of their own unhappiness, bring them peace. By your grace Lord, release me from resentment and bring harmony and peace into my life." Once you pray this become aware of how people's attitude's change towards you, and how you react or feel when you are put in a situation that would normal anger you. I think you will start to see that as you keep your mental and emotional state in a peaceful and calm mode that those who attack you will begin to back down, or avoid you, because they are no longer getting the rise out of you that they were seeking.

I hope this helps you in some way,

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LBEEKMA 7/28/2010 11:24AM

    You could write an apology note anyway, even if you can't send it. I also believe that God can still forgive you/give you peace. It sounds like you've already done a lot to keep yourself in check. I know all about the quick to speak stuff, especially around people I feel most comfortable (my family). I try to keep going forward, apologize when I slip up, and be slow to speak/quick to listen (most of the time). I think I'm really talking to myself here! emoticon

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