BUSYHANDS51   2,464
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Saturday, May 05, 2012

I hate to say it but I do feel a bit stressed today and I'm not even sure why. I think it's because when my whole family gets together it's as though I can't say anything without being contradicted and ridiculed. Then I get angry and try to hide it which makes me even more stressed. I am praying this doesn't happen today. One good thing is my baby granddaughters will be there and I can play and hug and love on them. I adore them.

I am trying to think about what food is going to be there so I can control my food intake. BUT - one person is bringing cheesecake stuffed strawberries drizzled in chocolate!!! Can you believe this? How in the name of Hannah am I going to resist THAT? Probably won't!

Oh well, I'll do the best I can and I absolutely will NOT stress over whatever I eat today. Tomorrow is a new day and I will be back in the saddle then!

For today - I wish you all a happy Derby Day and a winning horse! Good Luck.


Small Improvement

Friday, May 04, 2012

So while I didn't go the gym yesterday - I am going today. Not looking forward to my back hurting so bad again, but I'm going anyway. I'm still very stressed and worried about my financial situation but at least I feel like I am able to breathe a little easier today. I am hoping going to the gym is going to help with that. I have been praying for the Lord's Peace, wisdom and strength and I do believe that He is helping me. Just takes me awhile to release it all to Him.

On the other hand, I got on the scale this morning and found I've actually GAINED weight!!! WHAT?! How can this be? Well, maybe I should not have done that until my normal weigh in day, which is Sunday. So I'm going to try not to let that upset me to much.

I am tracking my food and trying to eat properly and I've been to the gym twice this week. I'm not drinking enough water, but I am going to work on that a bit more this coming week.

Baby Steps. I feel good that I have been to the gym so much this week. That is a big accomplishment for me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIBI183 5/4/2012 12:57PM

    Why don't you ask someone at the gym if they have any ideas how you can exercise without being in so much back pain. Maybe they even know exercises that make the pain go away. Good luck and keep up the good work

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Stressed but working on it

Thursday, May 03, 2012

So yesterday I found out that my unemployment was not nearly as much as I thought it was going to be! Like less than 1/2 what I thought I was getting. If that's not bad enough, I found out that Social Security is holding $250 out of my check for the second month in a row! I am obviously not working at the moment, have my daughter and 2 grown grandsons living with me and now I can't pay all my bills!! Since my husband died 8 years ago I have done everything in my power to keep things paid. With my family living with me and not being able to pay the bills I am so stressed that I feel like I have a big weight sitting on my chest and I want to throw up!! I feel lost, confused, scared and a nervous wreck. To add insult to injury, my daughter constantly makes remarks that make me feel like I am asking for her life by expecting her to help me pay for things, or if I expect her to honor my wishes in my own house! Also, she acts as though I was the worse mother in the world and as though she remembers more about her childhood than I do!!

So, while I hate it more than anything, I have called a bankruptcy attorney and will see what they say. In the meantime, I went to my gym and walked a mile. It took me 27 minutes and for the first time ever I put a 1% incline on it!. I know that doesn't sound like much but to me it was a LOT! By the time I got home my back and ankles were absolutely killing me. But I felt better inside.

Today I got up to find that McAfee decided to charge me for a subscription that I never asked for and cancelled last yeat. $95.39 - and when I called they said it would take up to 5 business days to get my refund from them!! NOW I can't pay my water bill! Then my credit union calls me about the payments I am behind with them. So I had to tell them I was meeting with an attorney about bankruptcy. Talk about feeling like a big loser - and I don't mean the losing weight kind - I feel the stress building again!!

However, since I don't go to the gym until tomorrow - I am going to have some quiet time with Jesus. Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" And I believe that. Also, Psalms 55:17 says "Evening, morning and at noontime, I cry out in my distress and He hears my voice". I believe that too. So, I am going to cry out in my distress and wait for the peace that passes all understanding.


How to start ...

Monday, April 30, 2012

I don't know what is wrong with me! I've done weight watchers in the past and NEVER had a problem following it. Now I just can't seem to get it together and for some reason I don't understand THIS program either!!

I want to lose this weight so bad. I'm sick of my C-PAP machine and want to stop taking High Blood Pressure meds. I just can't seem to put it all together. I guess it doesn't help to not have much money and not be able to afford to buy all the "special" food. Can anyone explain to me why when they don't add sugar, or leave out the fat the food costs MORE?!

I thought having my family live with me would make it easier to cook because I/we would be cooking for 3 - 4 and finding recipes for 1 is so hard. But no - didn't work out the way I had hoped at all. There is never enough healthy food and they only cook things that are not so healthy.

I don't know how to get a handle on this but I know I have got to get control. I'm frustrated and discouraged!!

On an up note, I babysat for my twin granddaughters, age 9 months, this Saturday! They are the cutest little girls in the world. I know some of you may think yours are, but seriously, mine are! LOL

Okay - on with my day. Tomorrow I hit the gym again and hope to be in there everyday. Waiting to hear from my cardiologist about my stress test last week before I go back. Wed. is senior citizen day at Kroger so I will go shop for some food then. Just can't afford to buy for all of us and yet they eat my food!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIBI183 4/30/2012 3:38PM

    I signed up last Wednesday and I still find it a bit confusing, but until yesterday I was mainly trying to get to know this site and paying attention to my habits. So My first real day of my new ME started today.I am using a diet program similar to weight watchers but I am also tracking my foot on here. I just find it easier to use the other programm when I am not at home. Earlier today I noticed under the lifestyle section the topic Spark diet. I kinda wished I would have seen it earlier because it a good way for people that are confused about this program to get started. It doesn't want you to change every little bad habit of yours but slowly explains how little steps can change your life how you can benefit. I believe the creators intended that you read a chapter every week and try to put the topic of the chapter into use. For example, in the first stage you are supposed to get started by watching your eating habits and how you can change or improve them.
Here is the link for the Spark Diet and I really hope it will help you to be less confused about this site emoticon

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