Monday, May 07, 2012
and I don't mean money at the track!! Oh Lord, one of our friends brought Strawberries stuffed with cheesecake filling and drizzled with chocolate to our cookout! If that wasn't enough my daughter had a Mandarin Orange cake. Do you think I passed either one of those up? NO, of course not!! So, I'm sure that I have not lost anything yet!!
Well, I did better Sunday and I am going to the gym today so that will help. My weigh in day is not until Tuesday so hopefully I didn't do a ton of damage and will lose a little bit!
As for stress - well, I've discovered that the noisier things get around me and the more people the more stressed I begin to feel. The chaos of a lot of people talking, with a TV going and maybe a computer talking just makes me a nervous wreck! If I am already stressed over other things this chaos makes it 10 times worse. I found this out Derby Day when there were 7 of us and 4 - 5 of us were all talking at the same time, the TV was on really loud and after that the karaoke/radio was on REALLY loud!! I felt as though I could not breathe. I started carrying stuff to the car and it was so quiet outside - I did not want to go back in the house. I literally had to force myself back in the door. Once I got back home and was able to sit down and cross stitch for an hour, I began to calm down and felt much better.
I'm not sure what to do with this information since I have to be around a lot of people to be around my little twin granddaughters. I will not give up being around them, they are much to cute. But the NOISE, drives me crazy.
So, I have to find a way to not let the stress of all that noise get to me. I'll work on that. I have found that exercize is helping. I still don't know what I am going to do about my finances but I do know that I can't stress out over it.
So, for today, I go to the gym, watch my diet and CROSS STITCH!! YEA!
Oh, I do NOT want to have to go back to work either! I am SO glad that I didn't have to deal with tenants and their problems over the weekend!
Saturday, May 05, 2012
I hate to say it but I do feel a bit stressed today and I'm not even sure why. I think it's because when my whole family gets together it's as though I can't say anything without being contradicted and ridiculed. Then I get angry and try to hide it which makes me even more stressed. I am praying this doesn't happen today. One good thing is my baby granddaughters will be there and I can play and hug and love on them. I adore them.
I am trying to think about what food is going to be there so I can control my food intake. BUT - one person is bringing cheesecake stuffed strawberries drizzled in chocolate!!! Can you believe this? How in the name of Hannah am I going to resist THAT? Probably won't!
Oh well, I'll do the best I can and I absolutely will NOT stress over whatever I eat today. Tomorrow is a new day and I will be back in the saddle then!
For today - I wish you all a happy Derby Day and a winning horse! Good Luck.
Thursday, May 03, 2012
So yesterday I found out that my unemployment was not nearly as much as I thought it was going to be! Like less than 1/2 what I thought I was getting. If that's not bad enough, I found out that Social Security is holding $250 out of my check for the second month in a row! I am obviously not working at the moment, have my daughter and 2 grown grandsons living with me and now I can't pay all my bills!! Since my husband died 8 years ago I have done everything in my power to keep things paid. With my family living with me and not being able to pay the bills I am so stressed that I feel like I have a big weight sitting on my chest and I want to throw up!! I feel lost, confused, scared and a nervous wreck. To add insult to injury, my daughter constantly makes remarks that make me feel like I am asking for her life by expecting her to help me pay for things, or if I expect her to honor my wishes in my own house! Also, she acts as though I was the worse mother in the world and as though she remembers more about her childhood than I do!!
So, while I hate it more than anything, I have called a bankruptcy attorney and will see what they say. In the meantime, I went to my gym and walked a mile. It took me 27 minutes and for the first time ever I put a 1% incline on it!. I know that doesn't sound like much but to me it was a LOT! By the time I got home my back and ankles were absolutely killing me. But I felt better inside.
Today I got up to find that McAfee decided to charge me for a subscription that I never asked for and cancelled last yeat. $95.39 - and when I called they said it would take up to 5 business days to get my refund from them!! NOW I can't pay my water bill! Then my credit union calls me about the payments I am behind with them. So I had to tell them I was meeting with an attorney about bankruptcy. Talk about feeling like a big loser - and I don't mean the losing weight kind - I feel the stress building again!!
However, since I don't go to the gym until tomorrow - I am going to have some quiet time with Jesus. Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" And I believe that. Also, Psalms 55:17 says "Evening, morning and at noontime, I cry out in my distress and He hears my voice". I believe that too. So, I am going to cry out in my distress and wait for the peace that passes all understanding.
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