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New Lifestyle is spilling over into other areas!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

I have noticed a change in me since really committing myself to SP! Not only am I journaling my food and drinking my water, I have received this new energy to tackle other things that have been left alone for too long.

Depression makes you just not care about things and you begin to lose track of important matters. My finances are in a mess and have been for most of this year. And, because they have become such a mess, I have not been dealing with them. Lord knows how I have managed not to have anything turned off or repossessed! I must have paid the things that were screaming to be paid is all I can figure. emoticon

Anyway, my husband and I sat down today and opened bills that have not been opened for months. We wrote down everything that we owe, what is past due, what is current (there are a few!) and we even balanced the check book!! And it did balance!! We took a calendar and filled in the dates that everything is due through the end of the year. It is not as bad as I thought it was! We now know what is going on with our finances and we have a plan to get back on track.

This was something that I had dreaded doing for months! But I have such a feeling of freedom now that I know what is going on!! emoticon Do I like where we are right now financially? Heck no! But I know what we have to do to get straightened out. It is going to take some time, but we will get there.

We also made a commitment to each other to sit down every Saturday morning and pay our bills. We have got to put a stop to the insanity!!

Another thing we tackled today was our bedroom. Once again, because of my depression, I was just washing clothes and then dumping them in there. I did not put anything away. Also, if I had something that I didn't know what to do with, I just tossed it in there. We literally had paths around the bed, one to his side and one to mine and then to the doorway. I have 4 bags of clothes that are going to the either the Good Will or Salvation Army on Monday! And I got rid of 1 big bag of garbage!

Today has been such a productive day! I am so proud of us today!! Rainy Saturdays are good things if you know what to do with them! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWIMLOVER 12/26/2009 10:52AM

  You are doing GREAT! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
GOD BLESS!
Louise

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SAL1512 12/16/2009 10:28AM

    You got so much done in one day! Keep it up, but pace yourself because you need to be able to reward yourself everyday. Your donations to Goodwill and Salvation Army may help someone have a better Christmas! Hope to hear more from you as you organize your healthy lifestyle.
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ABIGAILSING 11/3/2009 10:41PM

    Every area of progress is a plus. You are doing great, and life will get better if you stick it out. Praying for you!

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BELLACUDDLES 10/26/2009 11:25AM

    Super Duper!!!!!!

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IRISH_AGUIRRE 10/25/2009 6:01PM

  I am so proud of you!!! Those are both huge chores to tackle, and you did it beautifully. Having a plan is so much better than just being scared & going on blindly. Keep up the amazing work - both with your weight loss & with the other personal gains. You are an inspiration!

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JOYATLAST 10/25/2009 1:19AM

    Fantastic!

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ANGELBELIEVER 10/25/2009 12:21AM

    It is such a feeling of freedom when we have the courage to face our challenges. Sounds like you have a great supportive hubby. Depression is the pits..But I'm glad you are climbing out of that pit now and you have hope.

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 10/24/2009 11:17PM

    What a beautiful path to recovery!
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AMBERLEIGHM1 10/24/2009 8:36PM

    You are doing so well, I'm proud of you. You have given me inspiration to tackle my home office.

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SERENA_DOVE 10/24/2009 8:32PM

    good for you!! keep up the excellent work.

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Give us this day our daily bread

Friday, October 23, 2009

I was reminded this morning of the message that was taught at church on Sunday about how we are a world that lives with abundance. We do have more than we need or know what to do with. Let's face it, we rent buildings to store the stuff that no longer fits in our houses!! Now, of course, this was aimed at material things. But this does convey over to how we eat.

We are taught at an early age how to pray to God. I can remember learning the Lord's Prayer when I was little. It was one of our first big memorization projects. What I am focusing on today is this part, "Give us this day our daily bread." God gives us what we need daily to survive. We just need to pray and trust that the food that we have is ENOUGH to get us through the day. ENOUGH to nourish us to that we can move, think, do.

When God led his people out into the wilderness, God provided food for them in such abundance that they had food left over everyday. And the food was good. It helped them to walk and walk and walk in that wilderness - for YEARS!

So, my point is why do I feel that I need to sit down and eat a huge meal every meal? I wonder why I feel secure and content only when I am so miserably full that I cannot move or breathe sometimes?

I am sure that there are many emotional reasons attached to this eating habit that I have. What really strikes me here is that I believe I am living in sin by eating like this. Am I showing God that I don't trust him to provide for me in this way?

Can I learn to be content to eat to sustain and nourish my body and not to meet some emotional need?

I could cut down on my grocery bill and give that money to help someone in need. To someone that does not have enough food for the day. To Compassion International, or the local Salvation Army. I could give to the local abuse shelter. That money could be use for so much good!

I believe I can. I believe that this very thing was revealed to me so that I can make this change with God's help. God doesn't want me to be a slave to food. He doesn't want me to be a slave to any earthly thing.

Heavenly Father, I thank you so much for showing me your love. I thank you for helping me adjust my focus so that I can learn to live the way you want me to live. I thank you for allowing me to know that you are here to help me with my new lifestyle change. Lord, I want to do this in a way that honors you. I commit this to you and pray that you will guide me along the way. I thank you for giving the vision of SparkPeople and for the many, many SP friends that I am meeting. I pray a special blessing to all of my SP friends today! In Jesus' name I pray. Amen!

I must remember that God is a God of abundance and He will take care of me!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAL1512 11/19/2009 1:31PM

    Thank you for your thoughts. Your journey will take you to the right place!
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Comment edited on: 11/19/2009 1:32:07 PM

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IRISH_AGUIRRE 10/24/2009 12:15AM

  Yes, He will take care of you. Thank you for sharing this. Becky

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MAZDAWD50 10/23/2009 11:01PM

    Thank you for your thoughts. I too am trying to view food differently. For some reason I think this will be the last time I ever get to eat this food and so I had better eat all I can. I have to keep reminding myself that even though I love it, there will be other opportunities to have it - I don't have to pig out on it now. There are also many other good foods to eat. I want to view each days meals in a healthful way. If this meal or that meal is not my favorite, so what. As long as it is healthy and my body can use it to sustain life than it is good. There will be other times when I get the things I really enjoy. I have also discovered that being able to eat all I can eat of something I like doesn't make me enjoy it any better. In fact, I ususally end up feeling sick of it. It is the fact that there is just a small amount that makes it seem so good. IMO anyway.

Keep up the good work. We are all in this together.

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BELLACUDDLES 10/23/2009 4:19PM

    That was a great blog.......a real "food for thought" Thanks for sharing!

Barbara

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ANGELBELIEVER 10/23/2009 2:50PM

    Your post reminded me of something I learned a long time ago in a Bible Study I did...That gluttony is a sin. That sure opened my eyes. I love your blogs because they are so truthful and insightful. I learn something new each time I read them. It is amazing that even when God provided daily manna the people complained that was all they ever got and grew tired of it! And yet we do the same thing today. I'm glad God doesn't grow tired of us!

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GATORLADY02347 10/23/2009 2:40PM

    This really got to me! Thank you so much for posting this. I am so horrible at snacking. What I have learned is this, while I am sitting here snacking my brains out, a child is living in poverty not eating for weeks and months at a time. If I would stop stuffing my face with unhealthy foods, and trust in God, that he will help me get through this time in my life, then maybe I can trust that this is something he put to me to go through so I can help other people out. If that makes sense. I feel like God wanted me to struggle with my weight so hard, so that way I can help other people out. I feel guilty when I snack and snack and snack and snack and SNACK, and other people in the world are starving. It just amazes me at how we have to have our stomach triple the size it should be to make us feel full! Good luck on your weight loss journey, and all of us SparkPeople members are going to help each other out to finally end this constant struggle with our weights! And waists :o)

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God IS Able!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

He is able, more than able to
Accomplish what concerns me today
He is able, more than able to
Handle anything that comes my way
He is able, more than able to
Do much more than I could ever dream
He is able, more than able to
Make me what He wants me to be.

I am giving my weight loss over to God. He can do what I cannot.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NITA-BERRY 12/7/2009 11:05PM

    He IS more than able, isn't He!
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SAL1512 12/7/2009 10:11AM

    The first step to any problem solving is to realize that God is in control! You have accomplished the first step toward your weight loss because you know that God is in control and you have handed your problem over to Him!
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Comment edited on: 12/7/2009 10:11:50 AM

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WORKINGSTIFF 10/23/2009 11:21AM

    God IS able, and when we forget this simple fact, we worry ourselved to death!

Thank you for this post.

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GATORLADY02347 10/22/2009 11:19PM

    God IS Able. Thank you for this! :o)

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BELLACUDDLES 10/22/2009 10:34PM

    That brought a tear to my eye, and I need to be more mindful of what you wrote.....Amen too!!!!

Hugs,
Barbara

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CHARLIESANGEL10 10/22/2009 10:07PM

    Me too---my life is definitely not in my control....I will do the best i can in all things & believe that he will protect & direct me...may we have peace & joy. Hugs.

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TWLIGHT1 10/22/2009 8:20PM

    Praise him for he is our Lord. With God all things are possible. Believe in him. May God Bless You! I want to thankyou for this blog. It means so much to me. emoticon

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 10/22/2009 7:44PM

    Amen!!! God IS Able!!!
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Trying to set boundaries and form a routine

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

This weekend I tossed around the thoughts of setting some boundaries and routines for myself to help me in my journey. As a member of FlyLady, I know that routines are good because when you get off track it is very easy to get back on track. This eliminates rethinking the whole thing.

I know I need to try to get up at the same time everyday and I resist that. Depression has made it so easy to just hit the snooze and lay around until the absolutely last possible moment. When I do that I set myself up for failure every time. I end up rushing around trying to get ready for work and always being late. Thank goodness I work for people that don't expect me to punch a time clock (or maybe that is not so good).

So I am working on a routine, with boundaries, that I can live with. The first goal is to get my 8 hours of sleep, and no more, and get up and go to bed at a regular time. I also want to arrive at work on time and not up to 1/2 hour late. My first boundaries are no sitting on the couch in the mornings (I tend to snooze for hours), and no computer until I am dressed to my shoes and ready for the day.

I did that today and actually feel good about myself. My boss almost fell over when I arrived at work on time. Even he said he was proud of me.

This is more about losing weight for me. It is also about beating my depression. I must have a plan or I will just sit and do nothing.

I did watch Joyce Meyer this morning. She can really get me revved up and feeling like I can take on the world! I love her teaching.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAL1512 12/8/2009 4:08PM

    And you are discovering that a lot of little "simple" tasks done right can make all the difference in your day. You are starting to take real good care of yourself and it will spill over into other lives around you, making everything gradually better! Keep going! You are stumbling across a lot of secrets to living a healthy lifestyle!!!
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IRISH_AGUIRRE 10/22/2009 3:28PM

  Good for you! You did it this morning, and you can continue to do it. Setting boundaries a little at a time, then adding to them, is the way to go. I'm rooting for you - and I know you can do it.

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BELLACUDDLES 10/22/2009 2:18PM

    That is great; I love Joyce too......tape her and usually exercise to her! She is a motivator!

Barbara

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THEGORGESBLONDE 10/21/2009 1:26PM

    Love the new routine! way to go!

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 10/21/2009 7:01AM

    How wonderful! I need to work on not pushing that snooze button too. I've now got the clock set so that I can snooze it twice and still get up on time. What a game I'm playing. I like your ideas better! Thanks so much for sharing!
Have an awesome day!
Cathy emoticon

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ANGELBELIEVER 10/21/2009 12:19AM

    Good for you. Those boundaries and routines will help us to feel better. I like Joyce Meyer too. I know all about depression. I've been on an anti depressant for over 15 yrs. now. It helps me a lot.

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GOING2LOSENOW 10/20/2009 11:55PM

    Joyce Meyer is great! Good for you this morning! YOU CAN DO THIS!! Take it one day at a time.


Hugs,
Tina

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TWLIGHT1 10/20/2009 10:21PM

    You know what you need to do and are doing it. You have started on the road to a new healthy you. Stay focused and motivated and you will succeed and lose the weight. I believe in you. May God Bless You! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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YMUNDERWOOD 10/20/2009 10:00PM

    you seem to have a handled on what you need to do to reach your goal. Keep thinking a long those lines and you will be successful. emoticon

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Burning Bridges!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Years ago, while I was a sophomore in high school, I attended a Christian camp for teens with my church. It was one of the most memorable times of my life. I was saved on a cool October night and can still remember the smell of fall in the air and the clear skies with the twinkling stars smiling down on me. Maybe I am remember ing this night so vividly right now because fall is all around me, the trees are all dressed in red, yellow, and orange. The smell of the falling leaves and the wood smoke is so strong today. The sun is shining brightly and making the trees just light up . . .

Anyway, that night, many, many moons ago, lol!, we had a bonfire. It was the last night of camp - we were all headed home the next day. The gospel was presented at that bonfire and I was ready for it. Our camp counselors had constructed a wooden bridge. Each one of those that was saved that night took a walk across that bridge. I remember walking very slowly across it. I didn't know what was going to happen next, but as I got toward the middle of the bridge I was so overcome with emotion that I could barely stand up. I kept wanting to fall to my knees. In my ignorance, I didn't understand why then, but I know now. What my mind didn't understand, my body did - my body wanted to fall before Jesus and acknowledge Him as my savior. My counselor helped my cross that bridge and I just hung onto her for dear life.

After the last one crossed the bridge, we all prayed, thanking God for sending Jesus to save us. Then one of the counselors set that bridge on fire! There was no going back to the old ways. The path and the way had been destroyed. We could only go forward, with our focus on Jesus and faith leading us one step at a time. We all went from crying to cheering!! It was such a relief to feel the weight of sin lifted from us. Like I said, I will never forget that night - ever!

Changing my lifestyle is going to be like becoming a Christian. I have made the decision to change my old habits and never look back. So, I am burning those bridges that lead to destruction for me.

No more eating while upset!
No more shopping while hungry!
No more eating in the living room or at my computer desk!
No more junk food in the cupboards! (sorry hubby!)
No more stinking thinking!
No more shame!
No more WHINING!!
NO MORE! emoticon

I AM DONE WITH THAT! Those bridges are being burnt as I type!

I will eat when I am hungry!
I will eat before I grocery shop - before I leave the house always!
I will eat at my kitchen table with my hubby!
I will eat healthy snacks!
I will think POSITIVE thoughts only!
I AM PROUD OF ME!
I LOVE ME!

I am changing my user name, too. krhodes157 is just the person who lives in house #157 on my street - so boring, lol! I am more than that.

I am still Kim, by the way . . . I am just BURNIN-BRIDGES!!

It's getting HOT in here!!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAL1512 12/8/2009 3:02PM

    I was so moved by your blog that the tears are still falling. . . I helped with our church Bible camp for 15 years and it so emotionally gratifying to read something from a camper's point of view. Year after year, I had the parents of many children talk to me about how their children returned home "changed". I had no idea until now how profound that "change" was to those families until now.
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KRITTERKEEPERS 11/22/2009 2:12AM

    What a great story! It is a powerful moment when we surrender and accept Christ as our Savior and Lord of our lives. Thank you for reminding me of "my moment" when I accepted Christ.
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BREEZE-FITNESS 10/24/2009 2:27PM

    Just was I need edto lift me up Thank yoy emoticon

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NJDIETZ 10/24/2009 7:17AM

    Very moving. emoticon
Norb

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UNSTOPPABLE_ 10/24/2009 2:17AM

    What an inspiring story... You will WIN this race !..

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ANOINTEDONE70 10/23/2009 1:47PM

  Thank you so much for saying things that I needed to hear. Your words are very inspirational and may God bless you!!

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PITTYJAX 10/22/2009 7:37PM

    Wow. I needed to read this. God bless you!
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NEWME0519 10/22/2009 12:28PM

    Yes, I'm burning bridges with you!
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CE-CE33 10/22/2009 12:00PM

    Love the blog and your new username!! Very motivating. Thanks for sharing.

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ILOVESP 10/21/2009 10:04AM

    emoticon

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B28680 10/21/2009 4:55AM

    emoticon

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IWILLREACHIT 10/21/2009 12:50AM

    Great blog .. your a very good writer!

Remember once you burn that bridge it
is gone! So make sure you let it go to
be free!

Thanks for sharing and blessings~Linda

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BECCASINGSLEAD 10/21/2009 12:42AM

    What an awesome testimony! Thank you for sharing it and the new action it has inspired in your life. Way to go!!

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MIS2101 10/21/2009 12:09AM

    emoticon

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HEALTHY4JEANNE 10/21/2009 12:08AM

    Thank you for sharing this!
Jeanne

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TLB1630 10/20/2009 11:55PM

    WOW that was very graphic and beautiful. emoticon As I read this I felt as if I was there as you walked that bridge. It's amazing how HE can transform us but never forces us...gives us free will. HE wants us to choose HIM but it's our choice. emoticon Thank you for sharing this beautiful emoticon felt story.

Blessings,
Teri b.
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HEALTHQUESTER 10/20/2009 11:26PM

    I LOVED your blog! i got chills while reading it. it was motivating and inspired me to think of a list of bridges i want to burn!! Thank you so much!

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DRUSILLA56 10/20/2009 8:37PM

    OH HOW INSPIRING THIS IS. WE ALL COULD DO A LITTLE BRIDGE BURNING. GOD BLESS YOU ON YOUR JOURNEY.

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GOOSEYGIRL1 10/20/2009 8:01PM

    Love this blog! Thank you for sharing...

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BARBIE66 10/20/2009 7:57PM

    great blog you gave me inspiration as well as motivation

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LADY_KATHY 10/20/2009 7:10PM

    thanks for sharing your testimony!!! May God help you in your new goals with much success.

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CAROLJ94941 10/20/2009 4:25PM

    Like your new user name - might be time to change my boring one, too

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COFFEEMOM79 10/20/2009 2:48PM

    Good for you... Thank you for sharing this! :)

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GABAY29 10/20/2009 2:30PM

  Good for you :)
Very inspiring

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MRZ1225 10/20/2009 2:25PM

    AWhat a terriffic blog thanks for sharing.

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FLYFROG 10/20/2009 1:21PM

    Wonderful Blog!

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DIANALP61 10/20/2009 12:42PM

    Loved your blog. What a wonderful testimony.


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ALICOTTER 10/19/2009 7:28PM

    very inspiring

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HUMMINGBIRDFLY 10/19/2009 7:26PM

    What a wonderful testimony to your faith and to your new life. There's no turning back now, you're on your way to success.
emoticonMyrna

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MANYPOUNDSTOGO 10/19/2009 6:08PM

    That is an AWESOME post !!! Thank you so much for sharing this part of your life with us.

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NAYNAY69 10/19/2009 5:46PM

    emoticon

So very well put!

NayNay

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DEBBIE_C 10/19/2009 5:36PM

    What a testimony as well as great inspiration. Be blessed! emoticon

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ANGELBELIEVER 10/19/2009 5:15PM

    What a wonderful blog and so beautifully written. Thank you for sharing that wonderful experience with us. With God anything is truly possible.

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IAMWINNING 10/19/2009 4:52PM

    What a great blog, and I'm so glad you also came to Christ. As I say on my SparkPage, I cannot climb so high, or fall so low that God cannot reach me - or something like that. LOL I forget the exact words, but that's the thought! Praise the Lord for His love, mercy, and grace.

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BUTTERFLYEMERGE 10/19/2009 4:25PM

    How very awesome! I love this!!!! And I love your enthusiasm! I'm so excited to watch you keep moving forward. What a fun time this is going to be!
Hugs,
Cathy emoticon

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ABIGAILSING 10/19/2009 3:06PM

    emoticon Smoking things up with you! Let's press forward together with Him!

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BELLACUDDLES 10/19/2009 3:03PM

    That is soooooooooo awesome, and so glad you have had a lot soul searching and you are on the right path!!!!

Hugs,
Barbara

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MINDHORIZON 10/19/2009 3:00PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BENTONHEALTHY 10/19/2009 2:23PM

    That is great and a nice reminder for you each time you visit SP.

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SILVERUNICORN15 10/19/2009 2:21PM

    Good for you Kim! What a way to acknowledge another improvement to the way you live. emoticon

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GOING2LOSENOW 10/19/2009 2:19PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FLYINGTOFREEDOM 10/19/2009 2:13PM

    that is wonderful. I changed my username as well to reflect how I am living now in the present.

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IRISH_AGUIRRE 10/19/2009 2:08PM

  Beautiful, Kim! Honestly, you gave me goosebumps all over. I think this is a great extension of that camp experience. Sounds like a perfect plan.

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UAK9DFB0 10/19/2009 2:00PM

    Thank you so much for leaving this blog I too must burn some bridges in my own life that I keep going back to. The way has been destructive in my life, the circumstaces surroounding the issues I have has ballooned me to 305lbs. I've allowed food to take the place of the relationship I have with Jesus Christ. No more, I must move forward, no more turning back,thank you for making me see that.

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