New Lifestyle is spilling over into other areas!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

I have noticed a change in me since really committing myself to SP! Not only am I journaling my food and drinking my water, I have received this new energy to tackle other things that have been left alone for too long.

Depression makes you just not care about things and you begin to lose track of important matters. My finances are in a mess and have been for most of this year. And, because they have become such a mess, I have not been dealing with them. Lord knows how I have managed not to have anything turned off or repossessed! I must have paid the things that were screaming to be paid is all I can figure.

Anyway, my husband and I sat down today and opened bills that have not been opened for months. We wrote down everything that we owe, what is past due, what is current (there are a few!) and we even balanced the check book!! And it did balance!! We took a calendar and filled in the dates that everything is due through the end of the year. It is not as bad as I thought it was! We now know what is going on with our finances and we have a plan to get back on track.

This was something that I had dreaded doing for months! But I have such a feeling of freedom now that I know what is going on!! Do I like where we are right now financially? Heck no! But I know what we have to do to get straightened out. It is going to take some time, but we will get there.

We also made a commitment to each other to sit down every Saturday morning and pay our bills. We have got to put a stop to the insanity!!

Another thing we tackled today was our bedroom. Once again, because of my depression, I was just washing clothes and then dumping them in there. I did not put anything away. Also, if I had something that I didn't know what to do with, I just tossed it in there. We literally had paths around the bed, one to his side and one to mine and then to the doorway. I have 4 bags of clothes that are going to the either the Good Will or Salvation Army on Monday! And I got rid of 1 big bag of garbage!

Today has been such a productive day! I am so proud of us today!! Rainy Saturdays are good things if you know what to do with them!

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Give us this day our daily bread

Friday, October 23, 2009

I was reminded this morning of the message that was taught at church on Sunday about how we are a world that lives with abundance. We do have more than we need or know what to do with. Let's face it, we rent buildings to store the stuff that no longer fits in our houses!! Now, of course, this was aimed at material things. But this does convey over to how we eat.

We are taught at an early age how to pray to God. I can remember learning the Lord's Prayer when I was little. It was one of our first big memorization projects. What I am focusing on today is this part, "Give us this day our daily bread." God gives us what we need daily to survive. We just need to pray and trust that the food that we have is ENOUGH to get us through the day. ENOUGH to nourish us to that we can move, think, do.

When God led his people out into the wilderness, God provided food for them in such abundance that they had food left over everyday. And the food was good. It helped them to walk and walk and walk in that wilderness - for YEARS!

So, my point is why do I feel that I need to sit down and eat a huge meal every meal? I wonder why I feel secure and content only when I am so miserably full that I cannot move or breathe sometimes?

I am sure that there are many emotional reasons attached to this eating habit that I have. What really strikes me here is that I believe I am living in sin by eating like this. Am I showing God that I don't trust him to provide for me in this way?

Can I learn to be content to eat to sustain and nourish my body and not to meet some emotional need?

I could cut down on my grocery bill and give that money to help someone in need. To someone that does not have enough food for the day. To Compassion International, or the local Salvation Army. I could give to the local abuse shelter. That money could be use for so much good!

I believe I can. I believe that this very thing was revealed to me so that I can make this change with God's help. God doesn't want me to be a slave to food. He doesn't want me to be a slave to any earthly thing.

Heavenly Father, I thank you so much for showing me your love. I thank you for helping me adjust my focus so that I can learn to live the way you want me to live. I thank you for allowing me to know that you are here to help me with my new lifestyle change. Lord, I want to do this in a way that honors you. I commit this to you and pray that you will guide me along the way. I thank you for giving the vision of SparkPeople and for the many, many SP friends that I am meeting. I pray a special blessing to all of my SP friends today! In Jesus' name I pray. Amen!

I must remember that God is a God of abundance and He will take care of me!

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God IS Able!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

He is able, more than able to
Accomplish what concerns me today
He is able, more than able to
Handle anything that comes my way
He is able, more than able to
Do much more than I could ever dream
He is able, more than able to
Make me what He wants me to be.

I am giving my weight loss over to God. He can do what I cannot.

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Trying to set boundaries and form a routine

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

This weekend I tossed around the thoughts of setting some boundaries and routines for myself to help me in my journey. As a member of FlyLady, I know that routines are good because when you get off track it is very easy to get back on track. This eliminates rethinking the whole thing.

I know I need to try to get up at the same time everyday and I resist that. Depression has made it so easy to just hit the snooze and lay around until the absolutely last possible moment. When I do that I set myself up for failure every time. I end up rushing around trying to get ready for work and always being late. Thank goodness I work for people that don't expect me to punch a time clock (or maybe that is not so good).

So I am working on a routine, with boundaries, that I can live with. The first goal is to get my 8 hours of sleep, and no more, and get up and go to bed at a regular time. I also want to arrive at work on time and not up to 1/2 hour late. My first boundaries are no sitting on the couch in the mornings (I tend to snooze for hours), and no computer until I am dressed to my shoes and ready for the day.

I did that today and actually feel good about myself. My boss almost fell over when I arrived at work on time. Even he said he was proud of me.

This is more about losing weight for me. It is also about beating my depression. I must have a plan or I will just sit and do nothing.

I did watch Joyce Meyer this morning. She can really get me revved up and feeling like I can take on the world! I love her teaching.

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Burning Bridges!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Years ago, while I was a sophomore in high school, I attended a Christian camp for teens with my church. It was one of the most memorable times of my life. I was saved on a cool October night and can still remember the smell of fall in the air and the clear skies with the twinkling stars smiling down on me. Maybe I am remember ing this night so vividly right now because fall is all around me, the trees are all dressed in red, yellow, and orange. The smell of the falling leaves and the wood smoke is so strong today. The sun is shining brightly and making the trees just light up . . .

Anyway, that night, many, many moons ago, lol!, we had a bonfire. It was the last night of camp - we were all headed home the next day. The gospel was presented at that bonfire and I was ready for it. Our camp counselors had constructed a wooden bridge. Each one of those that was saved that night took a walk across that bridge. I remember walking very slowly across it. I didn't know what was going to happen next, but as I got toward the middle of the bridge I was so overcome with emotion that I could barely stand up. I kept wanting to fall to my knees. In my ignorance, I didn't understand why then, but I know now. What my mind didn't understand, my body did - my body wanted to fall before Jesus and acknowledge Him as my savior. My counselor helped my cross that bridge and I just hung onto her for dear life.

After the last one crossed the bridge, we all prayed, thanking God for sending Jesus to save us. Then one of the counselors set that bridge on fire! There was no going back to the old ways. The path and the way had been destroyed. We could only go forward, with our focus on Jesus and faith leading us one step at a time. We all went from crying to cheering!! It was such a relief to feel the weight of sin lifted from us. Like I said, I will never forget that night - ever!

Changing my lifestyle is going to be like becoming a Christian. I have made the decision to change my old habits and never look back. So, I am burning those bridges that lead to destruction for me.

No more eating while upset!
No more shopping while hungry!
No more eating in the living room or at my computer desk!
No more junk food in the cupboards! (sorry hubby!)
No more stinking thinking!
No more shame!
No more WHINING!!
NO MORE!

I AM DONE WITH THAT! Those bridges are being burnt as I type!

I will eat when I am hungry!
I will eat before I grocery shop - before I leave the house always!
I will eat at my kitchen table with my hubby!
I will eat healthy snacks!
I will think POSITIVE thoughts only!
I AM PROUD OF ME!
I LOVE ME!

I am changing my user name, too. krhodes157 is just the person who lives in house #157 on my street - so boring, lol! I am more than that.

I am still Kim, by the way . . . I am just BURNIN-BRIDGES!!

It's getting HOT in here!!

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