Friday, April 11, 2014
I heard on NPR (National Public Radio for those that don't know the acronym) today that if you react one way to something then you are most likely going to react the same way when it happens again. For example - how you deal with people on the road w/you. Do you honk and show improper hand gestures, or do you breath deeply, back off and slowly get over it?
Well, I'm proud to say that I usually deal with idiocy drivers by backing off now. I used to not... but I got tired of being mad and stressed when on the road. I can say that I learned better habits and where it took effort at first, it's more of just my reactions now.
Now - the reason why this is really on my mind.
Yesterday my sis told me that I argue a lot with people and that she and I clash.
This is funny - no, I don't. (That's arguing, right - defying what the other person said... or at least it's one part of one's definition.)
Seriously though. I don't mean to argue. In fact I just share my opinion and if it's opposite yours, I tend to also give reasons why. I also play devils advocate - sharing the opposite side of the story, even when I agree w/the the 1st side.
I told Dad what my sis had recently told me because it really had upset me, and he said that he doesn't consider our conversations as arguments - we just discuss stuff. And that is exactly the way I think of all my talk fests.
So when I heard the story on the radio, I realized that in most instances I give the other side. I have trained myself to argue w/everything that comes my way!
Seriously, I don't know how to stop doing that. I don't want to be known this way. I want to have a solid relationship w/the people I love and care about and I'm absolutely tired of my sister telling me this. (She does this to me about every 3-4 months... yes, I think it's her way of creating drama for herself, but that's another blog. Nevertheless though, I do believe I do have a problem.)
Today and for the weekend, I'm going to try my hardest to breathe, count to 10 and ask myself am I arguing w/ soandso, or do I really feel what I have to say next to be true to what I believe.
I hope your day and weekend is wonderful and stress free!
Friday, March 28, 2014
This past weekend was my kids birthday party and I had almost everyone show that was invited. I'm happy w/that. (I think though, this might be the last of the combined party.)
For the last several months my sister, Dad, and my only (1st) cousin on my Dad's side would get together for family time. At first it was to learn about our heritage. At our last meeting, I requested that it be at my house but for the kids' party. Everyone agreed that was a great idea.
When I sent out the evites and emails to those 3 though, I didn't hear back from my cousin. I kept thinking that she was busy but would still attend. She's like that, I wasn't too worried that she wouldn't come.
She didn't. I was a little hurt... b/c I live about 1 1/2 hours away from her and this was a special day... and our set "family time". I called her Monday just to see how she was doing and to tell her about the party. Yes, that is my passive aggressiveness coming into play, but I was concerned b/c even though I do live 1 1/2 hours away, she's really good about keeping "family time"...
We said our hellos and then I asked her how she was doing. I wasn't bringing up the party just yet - 20/20 thank goodness. She blasted a bombshell. She was at the hospital w/ her fiance who was admitted into ICU with kidney failure since that morning. OMG! I knew there would be a good reason.
My cousin's fiance is morbidly obese. She is too, but his numbers are really much worse.
In 2009 he had a colonectomy - his colon had ruptured, docs repaired it. My cousin began to let him in her heart. In his recovery, he lost 100 lbs. I was the first to meet him (from my side of the family) and liked him. He was at the tail end of that 100 lbs lost. He was still gravely overweight though. He told me that he was on a good path and planning to continue to lose weight.
Well, they became complacent. The next thing I know, my cousin tells me that he has gained "most" of the weight back. He continues to tell people that his doctors tell him that where he is overweight, everything else is fine. That surprised me. How can he be healthy in every other aspect... he must have some good genes.
Oh... and now they are engaged by this point.
In December he got pneumonia, but not to the point of hospitalization. That's where he tells me some things he had been hiding from me. I don't know if he was keeping this from cousin. Anyway, back in 2000 he had an episode where he was suffering from lung and kidney failure and congestive heart failure. (WHOA!) Because of that, he needed to take diuretic pills to help his body rid of fluid and if not fluid could build up around his heart and lungs. Those conditions are life threatening. Through the holidays and traveling, he wasn't taking his pills like he should and that was the cause of this pneumonia. Luckily though the docs told him that the fluid had not gotten into the heart cavity, but was very close. He said the docs told him he had to take those pills religiously.
I could tell that he wasn't really on board w/the idea, but he said he planned on taking these diuretics b/c he knew he had to in order to stay alive and to be w/my cousin.
This week rolls around.
He's in critical condition in ICU. In my cousins words "He did this to himself." Not only has he not been taking his diuretic pills, hes also not been using his C-Pap machine at night.
He hadn't used his breathing machine at night since he started dating my cousin in 2009.
Come to find out, the doctors have him in the hospital under the diagnosis of OHS - besity hypoventilation syndrome. (check it out on Wikipeida, he suffers from everything discussed on that page.) This is the reason he is battling with kidney failure right now.
In short - you have to have oxygen (O2). If you don't get enough, your body begins to shut down. Where I knew this from biology class, I still didn't realize how important it was. Saying out loud makes me feel stupid... but really, I didn't know.
Yes, I knew you needed O2 for life. That your heart takes oxygen to all your cells and organs. But I also thought that if your breathing, you are getting enough.
I know I haven't done this story real justice, but I never said I was a writer. I hope I got enough information in here to help someone else realize the importance of good quality breathing - O2 in Carbon Dioxide (CO2) out, as well as water retention and diuretic pills and just as important, listen to your doctors AND tell them the things you are doing and not doing so they can better prescribe you stuff.
This episode is such an eye opener to me, my sister, and my cousin.
I pray that my cousin's man survives this battle so we can all see him win the war against obesity!
Thursday, March 06, 2014
For my new years resolution I decided to give it another shot at getting healthy. I know, it's not REALLY an option... and this has been a goal of mine for several years. This year however, I meant it. I told my husband and my kids this what I NEEDED to do. They were behind me. They still are. I am too.
Thus far, I have kept that promise to myself and to my family. I have been working out 4-5 times a week with the exception of 1 week in the middle and only got in 3-1 hour work outs. I've found a new method of measuring my food and since then, I have lost 6 lbs! Wahoo!
Last week though I fell off my band wagon and I gained a pound back. Where I was sad about that, I wasn't going to let it destroy me. I jumped right back on, and started eating right again. I planned on working out again too.
AKA - I haven't done well in the exercise realm. Monday, I didn't work out like I planned. Tuesday I did. Wednesday (yesterday) was Ash Wednesday and I had too many other obligations to workout w/o severally depriving myself a good nights rest... so I opted to not work out - again. That means I've only worked out once so far this week! And it's not going to get much better either. I'm so upset, I don't know what to do.
During lunch w/Dad today, I realized that both of my kids are going to have both baseball/T-ball practice days on 2 of my 3 work out class days (with an instructor) and at different locations. I'm so upset.
I live in an itty bitty town where we only have 3 classes that are instructor motivated, PERIOD. My only saving grace, that I will have to somehow use to my advantage, is that one practice will be at the same location as my work out class the "city/town"park. If it were my son's practice, there would be no problem with me leaving the practice to work out - but it's my daughter's practice, and I THINK there is a very high probability that she will freak out if I leave her to work out.
I hope with all my hope, that when I talk to her today on the way to 1st practice that she will understand that this is something very important to me and to the family and that I need to continue to work out including during her practices.
Of course though, all of this worrying is only for PRACTICE - I'm not looking forward to finally receiving the game schedule. Maybe, just maybe, luck will be on my side and they will fall on days that I don't have class.
If none of this works out though, I will need your good vibes in helping me figure a way out to get my DVD work outs in while not disrupting my need of sleep time.
(Right now my schedule is:
6AM wake up
6:45-6:50 leave for work
6:-6:30 get home
6:20-630 instructor led 1 hour classes on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday
7:30-7:45 get home.
8:30 start putting kids to bed
9:00 my chilax time or shower if not already.
11:00 hopefully I'm either falling asleep or already asleep.
About 2AM my daughter disrupts my sleep by climbing into bed or I take her back to her room where I fall asleep... and then I wake up about 3 or 4 to go back to my bed. Jason has never woken up b/c he's a super hard sleeper... so I will usually let daughter sleep next to me just so I don't wake up again until 5:45 when alarm first sounds off.)
Thanks for any feedback
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