Monday, June 02, 2008
I have found myself for the past week or so falling into the same old way of thinking that used to get me every time on every other diet. Although I'm in my 3 lb range (145-148) I find that I'm having difficulty controlling food. It started with, voice #1 saying, you're at goal, you can have this (ice cream drumstick) and then I proceeded to keep my refrigerator stocked with them. At the grocery store I fleetingly thought of not keeping them on hand, but a voice told me it was OK because I am in control. The next thing was cake donuts, voice #2 said, these donuts are only 105 calories, yummy..my hubby stocks the donuts for his sweet tooth. Then the 3rd voice said, you don't have to do a water fast or a down day, just watch what you eat. Now that might be OK if ice cream and donuts would just shut up and quit trying to get my help to jump in my mouth. Well, to make a long story short, my floating area went from 142-145 to 145-148. Not too bad you say, (voice #4 had already said that to me, but look again, it's the same old story of my past diets, slowly eating more and more. STOP! Stop this madness, I've lost my edge and my mind! I'm feeling like I need to read my blogs over and over. Not just head knowledge, bite the bullet with a water fast and get back my control again. Stop the insanity! I'm taking charge with a water fast today. I'm leaving town for a vacation on the 5th of June until the 16th and I don't want to have this weight (147.5) and my vacation weight to lose when I get back! Time to let food know who's in control here. Zip, Zap,Pow, take that!
I have just realized something about myself. I have always taken vitamins but when I was dieting about 30 years ago I would find myself feeling nauseous a little while after taking my vitamins and after a few minutes I'd feel fine. After researching and experimenting I found that the vitamin that I was taking had a high amount for Vitamin A. As soon as I changed vitamins to a lower amount of Vitamin A I was fine. Fast forward to a few days ago when I was going to do a water fast and I put a little spices in my water for flavor, took my vitamins and was unable to continue on with my fast. I thought it was the spices so I ate a piece of bread and felt better. Well, today I started doing my water fast, took my vitamins and promptly felt sick. Then it occurred to me that I had just started taking a vitamin for my eyes and combined with my multi-vitamin it maximized my Vitamin A. I also both times had much hunger which I never before had. Well, today I refuse to back down because I believe it's only the vitamins and as soon as they get past my tummy I'll be OK. Just an observation...
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Itís all about control and mindset. Who has control of the food you eat or donít eat? Sometimes we are at war with food. We want to do the right thing but then comes along the feeling of hunger. Are we truly hungry? Here are some well known things to try keep from eating, but are well worth repeating. First thing to do is drink a glass of water, I use a 16 oz glass. Then sit at the computer reading team posts (15 minutes at least) then if youíre still hungry go shopping, (not grocery shopping, youíll buy out the store), run an errand and then if youíre still hungry, eat a veggie, a cucumber, tomato, cooked spinach or broccoli etc. If you donít want veggies youíre not hungry, and what you really want is carbs or sugar. The thing to remember is this:
You are in control here, for food to control you, you have to make the decision that you want the food and lift the fork to your mouth. But hereís what happens, the evil voice comes out and pretends that itís you talking, we think we are making our own decisions but that voice is NOT on your side. It rationalizes for you why you should eat. One bite wonít hurt, youíve done so well that you deserve it, youíve failed anyway, youíll never be able to do this and lose weight, just watch what you eat, youíll be OK. (thatís like giving the fox the keys to the chicken coop) Donít do 500 on the down day, youíll get weak and dizzy, And lastly, maybe Iíll just stay this weight and maintain at this weight. LIES, all lies to get you to raise that fork. Tricks to make you think itís really hunger, if you feel hungry (???) maybe thatís the fat burning off. Put food in itís proper place, look at it as what it is, fuel to live, not something to comfort us or make us happyÖ
Friday, May 30, 2008
After 18 months of this way of eating, I've come to some conclusions about myself. I have always struggled with dieting and losing to goal through very low calories only to gain back those pounds plus more causing me to give up for months and years at a time. I never realized my beliefs about dieting were flawed, I only knew that I felt hopeless and had begun to believe that if I even smelled food that fat would jump on my body and dig in. I was always trying some new diet only to get discouraged and end up thinking it was hopeless. Then I found the Alternate-Day Diet commonly referred to as JUDDD. I realized that my perspective of food was fatally flawed after doing it for awhile. I did JUDDD and was still having problems losing weight. I eventually went to JUDDD with low carb. I lost fast that way but still did not realize the big picture. I have come to see that I have to view food differently. First I needed to realize that food could not control me unless I helped it into my mouth or ate for pure pleasure. Then I needed to realize that I needed a lot less of food than I was eating. I needed to realize if I kept looking at food as a treat or a reward that I would never win the battle. The treats would always be calling me. I need to look at food as fuel to live and not something used to celebrate with. I needed to realize that if I reached goal I still could not eat whatever I wanted to eat. It's not just a way to reach goal but a totally new way of life. This is what works for me: I do JUDDD and keep not only my down days low but my up days about 1200-1400 calories a day. Don't get me wrong, on my up days I may have a treat as long as it fits inside my calorie range. I do this 90-95% of the time but here's the catch. I do not diet on vacations, anniversarys, weddings, holidays, birthdays etc. but I do do a one day water fast or a very low down day as soon as it's over. I also watch my scales every day and if I'm up 2-3 pounds I do another water fast or very low down day. So basically I'm watching what I eat 90-95% of the time but allow myself to live when I need to, then if I've gained, I hit it again. It's a wonderful experience being able to stay at goal. I'll never let food get control over me again and the way to do that is to monitor what I put in my mouth and celebrate when needed and cut calories when needed. I will never be cured but I can use this way of living to control my disease. (being fat)
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
I was up 4 lbs yesterday from my goal weight and someone gave us a box of See's candy. Originally I was going to do a water fast but the evil voice said "eat one" and I did. Then it said "one more won't hurt" so I ate another one. I was good for awhile and then the box of candy that was sitting on the counter started calling out my name, I folded and ate 2 more. At that point I grabbed my sanity back and looked at the label. 80 calories and 25 carbs. My good voice said "what a great down day if you stop here" so I drank a glass of water and asked my hubby to hide the box...I hope I don't beat him up or try to water board him to find out where it is. I'm not a chocolate person but give me a box of expensive chocolates and the evil voice tells me to eat it all right now and get the temptation out of the way...
Oh, yeah, I lost 3.5 lbs!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
I can't believe how good life is. It's so great to be at goal, eating healthy foods, and exercising, It's the strangest thing to find a person who has never eaten healthy start wanting to eat healthy and even enjoying it. It's also strange how good I feel and how successful I feel living the JUDDD life. I feel so empowered and feel so in control. Life is good, why wasn't all this information available when I was young? I'd have never known what it was to be fat. I can remember wondering why canned goods couldn't post the calories and such right on the can. I had no idea how to stop the food demon from controlling me in life. Yes, I starved myself quite often eating about 500-700 calories a day for months on end and after losing tried to watch what I ate, but those lumps of greasy fat kept coming back and almost always bringing more with them. I would coast for awhile, often taking months or years to get up the motivation to try again, only to repeat the previous experiences. Trying the same old thing that never kept me thin, over and over and over. Then finally deciding I would live with my fat but still gaining daily, never being able to even just stay the same fat weight. I was desperate, I asked God to help me lose the weight. I've told this before but instead of zapping my body to help me lose, He led me to JUDDD which would be the tool I'd always needed. To top it off, a way of life that would make me healthy also and give me knowledge to keep that weight off. I'm still amazed how He helped me so. I just wish I'd found this life style when I was younger and had influence over my children's way of eating so they would never face the fat that I did. I wish I had the power to zap my friends so they could enjoy their lives while they are still young..God is so good!
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