Tuesday, July 26, 2011
It is snowing over like 75% of the country. Not in Auckland though, its just colder than a witches. We got a 'sleety snow shower' in the Waitakere Ranges. NOT GOOD ENOUGH WEATHER! If you are going to make it this cold, I want snow!
So I am stuck under my laptop, which is full of assignments. I am also under a blanket and I have a cat who is sitting as close to me as she can get without being on me. The heater is on, which I hate, but my mother has a fit if she gets home and the heater is off, while I am wearing gloves, a hat and a snowsuit. Saving the environment, y'all.
In all seriousness, I have had a bad 24 hours. I went to see my Grandad (not in hospital!) yesterday. He is only not in hospital because he is stubborn and refused. He is in heart failure. The medication they are giving him is making him sick, so he isn't eating. This man can't weigh more then 45kg as it is, so him not eating is not good. The docs are playing around with his meds to see if they can ease the sickness, but the bottom line is that he has to take the medication.
I went over and showed him my holiday photos. He loved them and was telling me about when he was in Rarotonga, 60+ years ago! He asked if they have an airport yet, because they didn't when he was there. It was nice to sit and chat with him for a while, because we don't know how much longer he will be here for me to chat with. I told him that I want to get married next year and he better live long enough for that. He laughed and said he would try his best.
I am glad that I am 22, so I am old enough to appriciate the time I have left with him. My Poppa died when I was 12, so I didn't get the kind of quality time with him that I am getting with my grandad. Also, my Poppa died very suddenly. Like, my nana went to the store to get a few things and Poppa was alive. She came back and he was dead. Sudden. With Grandad we know that it is going to happen at some point, so we can make the most of the time we have left. That doesn't make it any easier though. I know he is old, but I have been able to tell myself that he is a tough old man, and he will be fine. Just last night my mum gave me a reality check about how long he actually has left, and I now have to start facing facts, and that is really hard.
Anyways, sorry that got all dark and deep, but its how I'm feeling right now.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
1. My grandad is sick. He may be getting admitted to hospital tomorrow. I'm scared. I love my grandad very much. He is old, nearly 85, and going in to hospital and being sick tends to be quite serious at that age. It may be selfish, but I want him at my wedding. I hope he will be OK
2. I have this resubmission due on Wednesday. I have worked Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and I have uni on Monday. That leaves Tueday to get this done. Not to mention my 10 other assignments that I haven't even looked at yet.
3. Mum has depression. It is 'flaring up' at the moment. Dealing with a parent with mental illness is stressful and time consuming. If I don't spend time with her, she thinks I don't love her, and spirals into a depressive state. My dad is away at the moment, so it is all on me.
4. No time to workout. My body is getting fat and weak again, but I literally have no time, not if I want to sleep 8 hours a night. I hope everything calms down soon.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Just keep swimming!
Breakfast: PB on toast
Coffee: Soy Mocha
Lunch: 2 WW pitas with hummus and feta
Snack: Hummus and crackers
Dinner: Homemade butter chicken (no dairy) with rice
Dessert: Chocolate frosting. Straight up. Don't judge.
Going to bed soon. Worked a 10 hour shift today and they are killer. Working tomorrow and Sunday. Gotta try and fit in redoing this assignment. There is just no time.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Yesterday I got a fail, and after you fail you need a big fat A to pick you up. So here is mine
A - See. Its my big fat A
I ate breakfast. Toast and PB.
I snacked on popcorn and a muesli bar.
I only ate 2 chocolates from the box we were gifted at work. 2. Out of a possible 8. I know.
I had cruskits, hummus, feta and smoked chicken for lunch. Twas nice.
I ate dinner, which included veggies.
I haven't had dessert and frankly I don't want any. OK, I kinda want some, but I am too lazy to move off the couch and get some, so, haha I win.
I have started working on my resubmission of the assignment that I F-worded. Insert your own F word, more than one fits.
I talked to my work mum about my problems and she told me she understands and wishes she could help. Then told me to harden up. Love that woman.
So I had a good day. No exercise, but I worked during all daylight hours and CBF going to the gym at this hour. And I didn't want to and thats OK with me. Next week I will get back into a routine.
So, yesterday can kiss my big fat A.
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