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Baby, it's cold outside

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

It is snowing over like 75% of the country. Not in Auckland though, its just colder than a witches. We got a 'sleety snow shower' in the Waitakere Ranges. NOT GOOD ENOUGH WEATHER! If you are going to make it this cold, I want snow!

So I am stuck under my laptop, which is full of assignments. I am also under a blanket and I have a cat who is sitting as close to me as she can get without being on me. The heater is on, which I hate, but my mother has a fit if she gets home and the heater is off, while I am wearing gloves, a hat and a snowsuit. Saving the environment, y'all.

In all seriousness, I have had a bad 24 hours. I went to see my Grandad (not in hospital!) yesterday. He is only not in hospital because he is stubborn and refused. He is in heart failure. The medication they are giving him is making him sick, so he isn't eating. This man can't weigh more then 45kg as it is, so him not eating is not good. The docs are playing around with his meds to see if they can ease the sickness, but the bottom line is that he has to take the medication.

I went over and showed him my holiday photos. He loved them and was telling me about when he was in Rarotonga, 60+ years ago! He asked if they have an airport yet, because they didn't when he was there. It was nice to sit and chat with him for a while, because we don't know how much longer he will be here for me to chat with. I told him that I want to get married next year and he better live long enough for that. He laughed and said he would try his best.

I am glad that I am 22, so I am old enough to appriciate the time I have left with him. My Poppa died when I was 12, so I didn't get the kind of quality time with him that I am getting with my grandad. Also, my Poppa died very suddenly. Like, my nana went to the store to get a few things and Poppa was alive. She came back and he was dead. Sudden. With Grandad we know that it is going to happen at some point, so we can make the most of the time we have left. That doesn't make it any easier though. I know he is old, but I have been able to tell myself that he is a tough old man, and he will be fine. Just last night my mum gave me a reality check about how long he actually has left, and I now have to start facing facts, and that is really hard.

Anyways, sorry that got all dark and deep, but its how I'm feeling right now.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARLA-216 8/1/2011 12:04PM

    So sorry to hear of your Grandad's declining health.

Ahh, being cold (but not tooooo cold) would be so nice right now! It has been very hot here in North Carolina for over two weeks now.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KWRIGHT26 7/26/2011 10:01AM

    It's 104 here in Florida. It's okay right now because it's dark and cloudy and threatening rain, but without the clouds and with the humidity, the only creatures fit to be out are the mosquitoes.

I'm glad you're getting to appreciate time with your grandad. Don't apologize for blogging about rough stuff. If we all blogged about nothing but happy happy joy joy fun positive wonderful sunny things, this wouldn't be a support blog. I'm glad to hear he enjoyed your pictures, too! I'm going to have to find this place on a map. I have a purely American sense of geography, that is to say, none at all.

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SLIMMERKIWI 7/26/2011 4:38AM

    It's felt like snow north of Auckland, too, but didn't get any. I DO remember quite a few years ago it snowed in the Kaipara Hills out of Warkworth, and in the hills around Maungaturoto - out from the Brynderwyns. I have just finished putting an extra blanket on my bed - I was freezing this a.m. and so was hubby. I have seen him walk in the snow bare footed and with shorts and a tee shirt on and not feel the cold, and bitched at me because I was freezing!

I'm sorry to hear about your grandad. Unfortunately the only guaranteed thing in life once we are born, is that we will die. It sounds like your Grandad has had a fairly long life, and believe me, the elderly often accept what will eventually happen far more easily that a young person. I was a caregiver for the elderly and terminally ill, and noticed this on many occasions.

Take care,

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EUPHRATES 7/26/2011 3:36AM

    I know it probably sounds weird, but THANK you for blogging about the snow. :) We're having such a heat wave in the states, it's been unbearably hot...and your blog cooled me off. :)

Glad you got some good quality time with your Granddad - cherish it!

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Stress, in list form

Sunday, July 24, 2011

1. My grandad is sick. He may be getting admitted to hospital tomorrow. I'm scared. I love my grandad very much. He is old, nearly 85, and going in to hospital and being sick tends to be quite serious at that age. It may be selfish, but I want him at my wedding. I hope he will be OK

2. I have this resubmission due on Wednesday. I have worked Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and I have uni on Monday. That leaves Tueday to get this done. Not to mention my 10 other assignments that I haven't even looked at yet.

3. Mum has depression. It is 'flaring up' at the moment. Dealing with a parent with mental illness is stressful and time consuming. If I don't spend time with her, she thinks I don't love her, and spirals into a depressive state. My dad is away at the moment, so it is all on me.

4. No time to workout. My body is getting fat and weak again, but I literally have no time, not if I want to sleep 8 hours a night. I hope everything calms down soon.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PUFFPASTRY 7/31/2011 3:19AM

    Oh, JessieJess! Somehow it'll all get evened out and things will get better. I've been living with that feeling of "I have so many deadline projects I am going to chew my own arm off from the pressure and exhaustion" for, like, years now, because I'm a writer and performer and am constantly having to get stories/performances/essays/writing
/group pieces/grants ready on schedules that I did not choose, and I hate it more than words can say. And the crazy thing is, I hated it when I was in SCHOOL, and I SWORE that when I was on my own and had my own free will, I would not EVER live that kind of due-date oriented life, and yet...HERE I AM! I don't know what the f*ck happened.

Anyway, try to just breathe deep, and if something needs to get thrown out for a while, like exercise, hey, it's okay -- it'll come back later, for sure. Hugs!!


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CARLA-216 7/25/2011 2:39PM

    I'm sorry so much is troubling you. Focus on the task at hand and things you can handle, and that's the best you can do. Sending big HUGS to you!

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BEANPOD77 7/24/2011 6:14PM

    Ahhh Jess..sorry to read of all you have on your plate..There are days when it just all gets on top of us , isn't there? Hang in there..Take one day at a time and tackle each challenge as best you can. I have a friend who has a saying I try to live by.."Dont borrow trouble"...so ...Get rest! Tackle the re-write here and there..Your grandpa is going to be in the best of care ..and if you dont take care of you..you can't help your mom or your grandpa..Wish I could help you more..
I LOVE your plan B...You come on over to Canada...got lots of room here for you..Its peak summer..the beach is hot, the water is cool and the sky is sunny :-)
Sending hugs your way!!

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NURSE_FAWN 7/24/2011 10:16AM

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this very stressful time. emoticon

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KARIDIAN1 7/24/2011 7:09AM

    I hope your Grandfather will be okay. And that you will be able to be there for your mom as well while your Dad is away. You have alot on your plate right now. Focus on taking care of yourself too.

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ANAJAK 7/24/2011 6:24AM

    Oh hon that is quite a list...

Sleep is definitely NO 1. You can re-firm your muscles again once things settle...

I have uni tomorrow too and only Tuesday to write so GO TEAM!!! (I am studying law remember - to me your topic sounds delightful!!)

I understand the mental health issues that can come from dealing with someone with mental health issues so just look after yourself ok? You sound like you already have a lot of emotions on the table right now xxx

I hope everything goes well for your GD tomorrow - thinking of ya heaps emoticon

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Friday, July 22, 2011

Just keep swimming!

Breakfast: PB on toast
Coffee: Soy Mocha
Lunch: 2 WW pitas with hummus and feta
Snack: Hummus and crackers
Dinner: Homemade butter chicken (no dairy) with rice
Dessert: Chocolate frosting. Straight up. Don't judge.

Going to bed soon. Worked a 10 hour shift today and they are killer. Working tomorrow and Sunday. Gotta try and fit in redoing this assignment. There is just no time.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARLA-216 7/22/2011 2:22PM

    I'd never judge another gal for chocolate frosting, straight up... Been known to do that myself!

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Today I get an A

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Yesterday I got a fail, and after you fail you need a big fat A to pick you up. So here is mine

A - See. Its my big fat A

I ate breakfast. Toast and PB.
I snacked on popcorn and a muesli bar.
I only ate 2 chocolates from the box we were gifted at work. 2. Out of a possible 8. I know.
I had cruskits, hummus, feta and smoked chicken for lunch. Twas nice.
I ate dinner, which included veggies.
I haven't had dessert and frankly I don't want any. OK, I kinda want some, but I am too lazy to move off the couch and get some, so, haha I win.
I have started working on my resubmission of the assignment that I F-worded. Insert your own F word, more than one fits.
I talked to my work mum about my problems and she told me she understands and wishes she could help. Then told me to harden up. Love that woman.

So I had a good day. No exercise, but I worked during all daylight hours and CBF going to the gym at this hour. And I didn't want to and thats OK with me. Next week I will get back into a routine.

So, yesterday can kiss my big fat A.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARLA-216 7/21/2011 10:58AM

    I'm glad you felt better yesterday. Great job on the A day!

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ANAJAK 7/21/2011 5:40AM

    YaY!!! Good for you.... I think I love your work mum too hahaha :)

So went grocery shopping today and bought me many chickpeas - how did you roast em I start the deliciousness tomorrow!!!

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ROX525 7/21/2011 5:15AM


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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Today wasn't the best of days. Boyfriend decided to surprise me by taking me out for breakfast. No biggie, I could make good choices. Ended up taking me to McDonalds. Yikes. Lunch was good, but too much snacking and then the boyfriend made frosting and I ate some. Yeah, temptation and me don't go well together.

Tomorrow will be better!
I have uni, 10-5. Here is the plan

Get up at 8am.
Eat half a banana.
Go for a run (30min ish)
Shower etc
Breakfast - Other half of banana and 1 piece of toast with PB
Morning snack - Muesli bar
Lunch - Salad with chicken and feta (my chickpeas are all gone :( )
Afternoon snack: Popcorn
In car, before gym: Trail mix
Go to boxing class. ACTUALLY GO!
Home, sensible dinner and bed.

I'm going to take my gym stuff with me so I won't even go home, so there are no excuses. I'll be a bit early for my class, but I can go on a bike or something until it starts. Extra exercise won't hurt, I'm sure.

I will have an A+ day tomorrow, I will have an A+ day tomorrow...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARLA-216 7/19/2011 7:20AM

    Enjoy your A+ day! You've planned it out to be successful and I know you can follow through with it!

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WENDYSPARKS 7/19/2011 7:01AM

    Enjoy the day!!!!


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ANAJAK 7/19/2011 6:53AM

    You go get that A+ day Bubbles...




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