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Moving back in with my parents?

Thursday, March 03, 2011

OK so today I reached the end of my rope. We can't pay our rent tomorrow. We had to beg Russells mum to lend us some money so that we could pay the rent. I hate doing that. I hate struggling. I hate being poor. I hate it. And the stupid thing is that I don't HAVE to do it. I'm only 22 and I'm studying. My parents are happy to have me back at home (boyfriend and all) and would charge us minimal board. We would be able to save and have some money for luxuries. We would have our own space, but would need to share a kitchen with my parents. We could save for a deposit on a house, or a holiday or something, as well as being able to buy stuff like new clothes, which I actually need.

I have pitched the idea to Russell, and he said he will think about it, but he doesn't like my dad that much so he isn't sure. Dad is in the military and travels A LOT so he would barely be home, so I don't think it would be too much of an issue.

We'll see. As far as I am concerned I am going with or without him. I don't want to struggle this much if I don't have to. If I was working full time, or married or something then that would be different.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MENHALLS 3/6/2011 8:46AM

    FWIW - go home & if your BF "doesn't like" your dad now, he is never going to. Red flag. Do you want a lifetime with someone who doesn't like your father?

Think about that long & hard. Family is forever but a miserable spouse can make it impossible to enjoy or even visit that family.

Good luck with your decision.

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LEXIE63 3/4/2011 4:52PM

    As you are on the verge of a potential break-up with your bf anyway, this could be the deciding factor, so think long and hard before making the decision. :-) My instinct as a Mum is to say Go Home! If your bf is meant to be he will either come with you or at least understand that you don't want to wind up in huge debt, and that you have a future to plan for which includes completing your studies, which would be a lot easier under less stressful circumstances. If he wasn't meant to be, well.......

Good luck whatever you decide, but remember to be true to yourself Honey!

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DARACOX 3/3/2011 3:11PM

    Make sure you do what's right for you. Your education will set you up for the rest of your life so you want to get the most out of it. You also don't want to come out of school with crippling debt. I'm not about to say that you are too young to be in a serious relationship (I got married at 23) but make sure he is worth it. If you do what's right for you and he is unwilling to support you then he's not worth the long term.

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CIVIAV 3/3/2011 12:53PM

    Your thinking is sound so far and still help your boyfriend work through what his concerns mean to him. You might have it all work out!

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ONICAM 3/3/2011 6:03AM

    I am 30 almost 31 and I have never left my mom. I also do not have the money to do that. I am also a college student at the same time.

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    I say "Go Home" too... with or without your BF. My advice is to make resolving YOUR personal living situation your priority; then what works out or doesn't work out with BF will happen over time... You have LOTS of time for that, believe me!

The situation at your parents' home sounds ideal - and the fact they are welcoming you back, supportive of the move, yet also treating you like an adult (not a child) helps a lot too. There are so many factors to consider, I know it's confusing.

Unfortunately, I have experience in dealing with big emotional life changes while having to make important, life-altering decisions, affecting not just me but my children too. What worked for me is to completely separate the two aspects:

Decisions about finances and logistics HAVE to be made with logic, and by facing the stark reality of the situation. The emotions of the maybe-break-up, and the worry, uncertainty and so forth, will still be there - I'm not saying to ignore them.

You'll need to grieve the death of the dreams you had when you first moved in with your BF - It truly IS a loss, whether you stay together or not. I'm just saying, those emotions need to be separate from what you NEED to do. For example:

The March rent is paid - Is your name on the lease? Even if it isn't, immediately give your 30 days' notice to the landlord! Then you have four weeks to work out who is moving where. Maybe BF can crash on someone's couch for awhile?

One last bit of advice: Think about your BF's behavior in context of the Big Picture. Think about what it shows of his character - what is he "telling" you about how he'll react to the difficult situations you'll surely face as a couple in the future?

Most of all, remember you're only 22!
I know, I know, it must be frustrating when people say "you're young," blah blah blah... I'm not saying you're too young to be in love or in a serious relationship - I know what I'd lived thru by then.

Just, well, wait for the guy who will treat you right - who'll care for YOU more than he wants his own comfort and pleasure... I'll shut up now!

Best wishes ~ emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/3/2011 6:02:20 AM

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DAMARIS89 3/3/2011 3:47AM

  I'd say you need to make a decision together, otherwise one of you may become resentful for giving it to what the other person wanted to do instead of owning the decision yourself. I'm in university, so I know what you're talking about with the intensity. It sounds like moving home would be a good idea considering that your parents don't mind and it'd help keep your costs down in a big way. But yeah, just make the decision together. Good luck!

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PLOWMASE 3/3/2011 3:39AM

    Go home to your parents. Finishing school is hard enough. Finishing school with stress / debt is even harder. Make life easier on yourself.

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BUBBLEJ1 3/3/2011 3:27AM

    We were, and now we aren't. We are trying to work things out. I know, glutton for punishment

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PUFFPASTRY 3/3/2011 3:11AM

    So, wait -- I thought you and the boy were breaking up. Did I miss a chapter of the saga? emoticon emoticon

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BUBBLEJ1 3/3/2011 3:09AM

    I'm in university, so it is like school x 1000000000

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YMUNDERWOOD 3/3/2011 2:36AM

    You gotta do what you gotta do. You mentioned your studying, so I take your in school. So the most important thing at this time is your studies, so if moving back home means you will complete school. I say go for it.

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I wanted M and M's for breakfast

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Instead I am munching on an apple. Go me and my apple eating.

Seriously though, that swap saved me 150 calories. I can get a coffee or something instead!!

It is important to note that I'm not a breakfast person, so an apple is about all I can handle. I have a larger morning snack to make up for it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARLA-216 3/3/2011 12:13PM


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MICHELE5551 3/2/2011 10:51PM

    Good for you! emoticon

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NURSE_FAWN 3/2/2011 8:50PM

    Go you! That was a very brave thing to do. By the way, I could live on M & M's so I'm not sure that I could have been so brave LOL!


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MRS.PRINCIPAL 3/2/2011 6:45PM

    Good choice!

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-POLEDANCEGIRL- 3/2/2011 3:30PM

    Hooray for you!!!

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    As long as your eating something healthy for you thats all that matters! emoticon

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First day of school tomorrow

Monday, February 28, 2011

First day of my last year of uni. Come on graduation!!!

I have done all but one subjects prep work, entered my food into sparkpeople and am about to pack my lunch. I know what I am wearing and I will straighten my hair tonight. I am ready.

But I don't wannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnna go. Don't make me.

Its not the subjects, if we are being honest. I mean, yeah, they suck, but my main reason for not walking to go to uni is the people.

On here I seem confident and happy. And in my own home I am. But in social situations I really suck and as a result I have 1 friend at uni, and she is only in 1 of my classes. Its a lonely place for me to be and I really dread having to go. I just don't get along well with a lot of people. I'm "not their cup of tea" for lack of a better phrase. I know that I have unpopular opinions and I know that I am loud and annoying. But that is who I am, and my friends love me for who I am. But my friends aren't at uni. I just have to remind myself that I do have friends, I'm not a loser and I do have people who love me, even if they aren't there with me.

Maybe I'll take a book, for the down time?

Wish me luck people! I'm gonna need it!

PS. I also wanted to loose 20kg over the summer, so at least I would have a hot body to keep me company. That didn't work... So I am recommited and ready to loose this weight. No more Mr fat chick!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OPALMOON 3/1/2011 6:52AM

    I had very little contact time when I was at uni so I didn't make any friends, although I did see some people around the place, but nothing on a social level. Good luck for your final year!

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CARLA-216 2/28/2011 3:47PM

    Hope your first day back wasn't so bad.

I suck in social situations as well. emoticon

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MRS.PRINCIPAL 2/28/2011 6:05AM

    University can be a hard place to make friends. I communited to my university for my undergrad. This saved me a ton of money, but made it really hard to get to know people since I wasn't on campus. Don't let it bother you. You are there for an education, there to develop in your career, there to study. There will be time for friends later. Good luck this semester!

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Dear university

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Dear university,

Why must you be so hard? Why must you ask hard questions and then make me feel stoopid because I don't know the answer? Why must you use words that I don't know? Why, why, why!

Uni hasn't even started for the year, I am just being a good girl and doing class prep (start as you mean to go on...) and you are asking me silly questions. Like "Why is there a learning languages curriculum?". Because someone who is much smarter than me decided it would be a good idea. The end.

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Expect to hear a lot of moaning about assignments this year. 2 papers look easy, the others...well...pray for me.

My papers this year are just silly. Lots of polical BS that we have to do and not enough focus on HOW to teach.


In other news, I dyed my hair. Its slightly reddish. I needed to cover my greys. Yes, my greys. Next stop, eye cream for those wrinkles! I still get pimples, I shouldn't get greys and wrinkles yet!

I got myself several cute headbands for working out, since my hair doesn't do ponytails anymore.

Scuse the no make up look.

I also got myself another inhaler (after having to go to the emergency medical centre because I was having an asthma attack and didn't have an inhaler. Fun way to spend a Saturday). Now I have no excuses, I will be going for a walk tomorrow!

You may (or may not, I won't be offended) know that I used to plan out my workouts a week in advance. I liked doing that, but I probably will hold off for a couple of weeks because of my knee. I need to start slowly and listen to my body and all that jazz, so it is probably best if I just do what I can on the day.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I had dinner with my folks, a very healthy grilled lamb steak with veggies. Washed down with 3 glasses of sauv blanc. Opps. Well, they were half glasses, so more like 1.5-2 glasses. My parents are borderline alcoholics (for realz but they don't want help and its their business) so I tend to drink when I'm with them, coz its what the cool kids are doing.

And I think thats all. I'm gonna try and get some sleep because the kids upstairs woke me up at 4am, 6am and again at 7.45am this morning. The last one was with a "who can jump off the couch and make the biggest bang" comp, or something simliar. I made the man go and talk to their parents, because its a Sunday and we were sleeping.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PUFFPASTRY 2/28/2011 12:59AM

    Your blog is always so fun to read; you are so naturally funny. And DANG, I wish I looked like that without makeup! I look like DEATH -- I am telling you, DEATH -- without makeup, so much so that once, when I showed up to my usual babysitting job with no makeup on (I was running late), the little girl took one look at me and started CRYING. So. We will not be repeating that mistake again.

Anyway, just had to tell you that you are entertaining. emoticon

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Lets talk about knees, baby.

Friday, February 25, 2011

I have been to the physio and I got the all clear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


So far I am cleared to start walking a few times a week. I can walk for a few weeks and slooooooowly start jogging again.

I'm excited. Really.

Except that I have misplaced my inhaler and there is no way in hell I am exercising without it, I'm not stupid. I seriously have NO idea where I put it, so I am relying on my orange (morning and night) inhaler to get me through until I find it/get another one from my doctor. But thats not one I can just take whenever. So a slow start back into it.

And....thats all I think...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARLA-216 2/28/2011 9:53AM

    Great news about the knees! emoticon

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BEANPOD77 2/26/2011 8:34AM

    Yay...glad for you! Take it slow and easy..Hope everything else is going okay for you..Having an ok week here..Just waiting for spring to come..there's been too much snow and not enough sunshine..
Talk to ya soon? emoticon

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DARACOX 2/26/2011 8:33AM

    Yay! I love getting the go ahead to get back to activity when you have been injured for a while. Right now I am not allowed to do any impact activities or legs until my knees feel better. So we will see...

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