Right, I'm back, I'm better. Thanks for listening to my breakdown and for you're kind comments. They made me cry then I felt better.
Lets talk about good things.
I get to resubmit my assignment. I talked to the head of the course and he gave me some good pointers and as long as I do what has been asked then I should be OK and recieve a passing grade (C-). At least I don't have to retake the whole paper.
I have started my new job. I really like it but it is really quiet. Like, too quiet and I am struggling to find things to do. Tomorrow I am on blackboard duty though, which means I get to do the boards a few times a day. That should be fun. The best part of my job is how nice everyone is and all the pretty jewellery. I got to try on a ring worth $12,000NZD today. Yes, really. It looked great until I had to put it back in the case (I only had it on because I had to walk it to the till and I was worried about dropping it. Officially we can't wear the jewellery unless we own it).
Oh and I have another problem. A good problem though. In the 2 days that I have been at my job I have fallen in love with an amazing ring. It is sooooooo me and I want it. I could buy it. It isn't expensive. BUT I showed the boyfriend a picture and told him it was my dream ring and he said that in that case he will get it as an engagement ring when he is ready to marry me. Problem: I want the ring right now. It is far too distracting to walk past its display case several times a day and dream about it on my finger. So do I buy it or me for wait for possibly years until the boyfriend gets his act together?
I'm so stressed and overwhelmed right now. I just have so much going on.
I failed an assignment today. For the first time ever. And I thought I did a good job on it! My friend got the same comments on her assignment as I did on mine and yet she passed. I don't understand. Failing means I have to resubmit. So inbetween working 4 days and 2 days at uni I have to find time to rewrite an assignment that I've already done. I'm frustrated. I'm stressed. I'm waaaay past the point of burn out. This is the end of my 4th year of uni. FOURTH! The other students are b****ing because they are ending their second year. Get in line, ladies! I never wanna do another assignment again. I hate assignments and how they make me feel so awful. I'm a great teacher. An awesome teacher. The kids love me, my associate teachers love my ideas and my enthusiam, my evalutive lecturers call me a natural teacher. So why is the only method of assessing assignments? Assignments that I can write and write well (or so I thought) but don't learn anything from because I'm too busy following the success criteria that I don't enjoy the material.
In addition I am feeling very very lonely. I don't have many friends and the friends that I do have (who I love and are amazing and accept me just the way I am) are usually so busy that I barely get to see them. Uni is a sad and lonely place for me because I only have one friend there and she is only in 3/5 classes. I start work tomorrow, maybe I will make some new friends there?
I don't think I love my boyfriend anymore but I don't know what life would be like without him, so I stay. And would I be able to find someone else? Someone who wants to travel, buy a house by the beach and not have children? The last one is a biggy. Not many guys out there who don't want kids!
I have already emailed the head of the primary papers and asked about part time study options. It would mean that my last year would take 2 years but at least I might not be so stressed all the time. And I could work more which would be good because money is a huge issue right now. It would suck to be a year behind everyone else but I suppose I have to think of my physical and mental health first and neither of those will be in good shape if I am constantly stressed for another year.
Anyways, thanks for reading my whine fest. I just have so much stuff going on and I'm really not coping
OK folks, I had a very lazy Sunday that included a little too much junk food so today I'm gonna get right back on track.
Breakfast was marmite on toast, yummy and healthy. Still a little hungry though, I might have an egg for some filling protien.
I am going to go for a walk today. Nothing too hard, more like a stroll around the block to get my legs moving and hopefully make them feel better. I'm aiming for a 30 minute walk which should be about 3km.
Dinner tonight is going to be homemade chicken burgers. I love homemade burgers because I can control the portion, the sauce etc.
Right, so thats my day!!! Hopefully it'll be a good one :)
First, thanks so much for all your kind comments about my 10K yesterday! The brightened my day even further!
Today I haven't been as sore as I thought I would be. I definatly didn't stretch enough post event, but in my defence I had a beer to drink and I wasn't getting any colder. I spent most of last night with a rubbish sack of ice drapped over my lower legs which really helped my sore knees and ankles. I'm only having a little shin pain when walking and besides that and being a bit tired and sunburnt I am feelin good! Memo to me though, must buy sunblock! It is something that completely slipped my mind yesterday and I am paying for it on my arms and the backs of my legs today.
In related news I signed up for another off road 10k. I know, I know, addiction is bad.
This one is in February so I have 3 months to train for it, and I'm actually gonna train for it this time. I'm also ridin solo because I think it will be a good experience to go it alone. I think I could have gone a lot faster yesterday but my friend was having asthma issues (and complained a lot, but that was a seperate issue). I was happy to slow down and stop so she could get her breathing under control but I would love to see how I could do alone.
So there ya go people. I'm sore and addicted and can't wait to do this all over again!