Sunday, September 02, 2012
Firstly, I went to the gym. Did my weights. Looked skinny. Observe
Love that top.
Then I got home and mentioned to my mum that I hadn't seen my cat, Pixie, in a while. Mum feeds the cats, so I figured I had just been missing her. Then mum said she thought I was feeding her, and she hadn't seen her in 2 days. Panic. Went outside and called for her. After 5 minutes she came running. Luckily I have her well name trained, and she knows my voice. I picked her up and took her inside for some food. First she wouldn't get out of my arms, and when she did she wouldn't eat. Not even some smoked salmon! This is one fat cat, she doesn't pass up food. I took her to the emergency vet. The vet said that physically she is fine, no sign of trauma. BUT she isn't eating and is very lethargic, which could be signs of any number of things. He thinks she may have had a fright or a scare which is why she is acting odd. He gave her a painkiller just in case and told me to contact my normal vet if she still isn't eating tomorrow.
She got home and collapsed in the hallway
And looks annoyed at me while I took photos. I'm the mean lady who takes her to the vet, after all!
So we just have to wait and see and hope that she starts eating again soon!
Saturday, September 01, 2012
I am awake. It is 4am. I have been awake for around an hour. I am clearly a dedicated teacher, because I woke up struggling to think of a compound sentence I could use to teach sentence structure this week. I KNOW. What a stupid thing to be dreaming about, especially on a Saturday night. And a compound sentence, really. The complex one I have already. By all rights it should be the other way around! Then my mind started wandering to my life and my future.
I have pretty much decided to break up with my boyfriend. I had a coffee with a former co-worker yesterday and it put a lot of things into perspective. One thing y'all don't know is that I financially support him 75% of the time. He only works part time (this term he is full time due to a maternity leave position) so it is up to me to cover his rent, petrol and general expenses. We pretty much pool our money but his contribution is usually 10% of mine. If we break up then I would finally have some disposable income. I know that money isn't everything, but I'd rather cry on my holiday to Italy, ya know? If we break up I could do some serious saving (I have very few expenses besides rent, petrol, insurance and a gym membership) and I could have the OE (overseas experience) I have been wanting. I am also the only one of us who is qualified. His lack of qualifications means he can't work overseas. I am desperate to move to the USA or UK and work for a year, but I can't do that with him. If we break up then I would have that door opened to me. I could work hard, get my teachers registration and go overseas for a while. Pretty much if I were single I would have a lot more doors open to me. I could do anything and everything I wanted to do. I wouldn't have to keep putting my life on hold because Russell doesn't have money or doesn't want to do something.
I have zest for life. I'm a freakin lime here, all zesty and ready to go. My boyfriend is zestless. He has no goals, no ambition. He is quite happy just to exist and hope for the best. I am not. I am 23 years old and I want things from my life. I want to see the world. I want to get out of my comfort zone, extend myself. I want to see the Golden Gate Bridge, the Leaning Tower, and the Great Wall of China. I want to have a one night stand with an attractive man with an accent. Hmmmm, getting sillier as the list goes on...
So now the hard part starts. The detangling of 6 years of a tangled life. Bank accounts, furniture, cats. All in both of our names. My car is in my name, thank goodness. Our debt is mainly in my name, but the savings are in both. I am thinking that we should pay off our debt and just split the leftover savings down the middle. It seems fairest. I think I should keep the engagement and wedding rings. They were purchased by me, using my staff discount, using my credit card which I have mainly paid off. Sigh, my beautiful engagement ring... He has his favourite cat, so he can have him. The other 2 cats are mine. One was pre relationship and the other was pre moving in together, so there is no question about who gets those cats. The bed his his, he can have it. Other than the couch, which is no comfortable, everything else was given to me by my parents, so I should keep it.
OH I could spend the next school holidays in England with my bestie! That would be beyond amazing!
And now it is 4.20. I should try and go to sleep now. I have plans for today! I want to run to the gym, do my weights and then walk home. Gotta keep getting hotter!
Saturday, September 01, 2012
As I have discovered, clothes shopping sucks no matter what you weigh. I didn't like it when I was heavy, I still don't like it now. But, shop I must since my clothes seem to be going through a growth spurt... Nothing fits!
I went to 6 stores. I found a nice top in 1, but it was on sale and the size they had left was far too big. 3 stores I was far too old for (bright pink pants are a teenage thing, I guess?) and 1 store had some nice things but nothing grabbed me. I ended up at The Warehouse, which I suppose is the NZ version of Walmart. Cheap and cheerful, not awesome quailty, but wearable. I ended up trying everything on and walking out with 3 tops.
I must mention here that all the tops I got were a size SMALL! A freaking SMALL. And they are a little big. I KNOW the store just runs big, but it is still nice to be able to say that I bought 3 size SMALL tops! I even had to pass on a really nice cardi because I was swimming in the smallest size.
One of the tops
The jeans are new but old. I got them years ago and planned to shrink into them. I have never worn them! I tried them on a month ago and they were snug. This morning they fit perfectly! $100 pair of jeans, brand new? Gotta love that! And I didn't even have to leave my house.
The other 2 tops are simple tops with a nice pattern around the neck. They are the same in different colours. Hey, if you like something get one in every colour? As per usual I spent way too much time in the workout clothes section. I didn't buy anything from there since I really don't need it (well I need a new sports bra). It is still fun to look!
Today I have also
- Been to an average spinning class. The instructor was having a bad day. Too much talking, not enough working. At least I did something, right?
- Had coffee with an old workmate.
- Treated myself to 2 gourmet chocolates. They were small, but good quality.
And that is my day. Not a bad start to September!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Weight goal: Lose 1kg, taking me to 13.5kg lost and 73.5kg. Heading closer and closer to that normal BMI!
Nutrition: Track occasionally to keep me on track. That seems to be working for now.
Exercise: 2 days cardio, 3 days weights. On Monday I am trying cardio kickboxing for the first time. I was literally the first person on the sign up sheet, so Iím clearly very excited. The other day of cardio could be walking, running, spinning or boxing. Mixing things up!
My long term fitness goals are to do a full push up and a full pull up or chin up. Not fussy about which one, really. I want to be able to do both by the end of the year. My trainer is helping me with this by giving me lots of upper body focused exercises. I need to push myself by upping my weights as often as I can. I WILL meet this goal!
I have a non fitness goal that I wanted to mention. I want to be happy this month. Because this is just a blog, a snapshot of my life, you guys don't see a lot of what goes on behind the scenes. My life is currently filled with a lot of unhappiness, with the main culprit being my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 and a half years, since just after high school. We have been through a lot and it is so hard to let go after such a long long time together, but I am no longer happy in my relationship. Everything I do seems to annoy him. Sometimes I just have to breathe the wrong way and he gets angry. We never see each other or spend time together and we no longer have anything in common. He is mean and nasty to be 90% of the time, and he pretty much makes me feel like crap every single day. BUT we have been together for so long it is not as simple as just breaking up. Assets and pets needs to be divided, he would need to move back with his parents or find somewhere else to live, etc. We have a whole life together, so it is not as simple as saying that I want to break up. Also, and I know this is the worst reason in the world, I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. I am actually really shy, and I am terrible at meeting people and making friends. I have no social life outside of the gym and this computer, and I wouldn't know where to start meeting new people. My best friend moved to England, and besides her my only friend is my boyfriend. Facing the possibility of being completely and totally alone for the first time in my life is terrifying. I thought we were going to get married, we even have the rings, so it is very hard to just let go of this person and this part of my life. I know I need to do something, and soon, but I'm just not ready for that step yet. Maybe soon, but not right this moment.
So, bared my soul a little... eek!
Friday, August 31, 2012
I think I'm on the mend!
Warmed up with 5 minutes on the treadmill. I managed to run for 4 of those minutes, which is a big thing considering my recent health. I didn't push it, kept it slow and short. Felt great to be moving!
On to the weights area. Added weight to my bench press, 1.25kg on either side, so 2.5kg total. I also decreased the counter weight for my assisted dips. Small steps! I need to add more weight to my military press and bicep curl next week, as well as my leg press and hack squat. I am going to kick this program so hard it won't know what hit it!
Got home and inhaled a bowl of cereal and yogurt!
Nice day out today. Great weather. Spring has sprung. The students were mental all day, all over the school. Mine couldn't even handle marking their homework! BAD day to be observed by my boss, but they managed to hold it together well while my boss was in there. A few things to work on, but other than that the observation was all pretty positive.
Now I am going to have a relaxing evening with an early night! This weekend I am meeting some friends for coffee, going clothes shopping, doing marking and getting a workout in!
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