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Thursday, April 18, 2013

I remember when I lived alone in my apartment. I would go to the store and make my favorite foods (lover of pasta) and it would calm me down. Lately I've been thinking about the times that food brought a lot of comfort for me. When you can't stuff your emotions or depression with food anymore, you are forced to face your real feelings, and that can be kind of scary.

It's odd actually because things have been coming up from my past...in thoughts, in dreams, things I had no thought about in years or I think I ever really faced or healed from. Without getting too specific, I was in a really bad/abusive relationship and there was just so much going on in 2008-2009, I never really absorbed it all. And it's weird that stuff from so long ago is beginning to surface, like I need to face it, not supress it and move on. Has anyone ever felt a similar experience in their life?

Journaling helps a lot though. Prayer, meditation. Even the little things like drinking herbal tea or aromatherapy help more than some people might realize. As well as inspiring uplifting music. I wanted to share this christian song by singer Krystal Meyers:

"In Your Hands"

I listen through the darkness
And I know that I'm not alone
And I feel You all around me
But every time I call
All I hear is my own echo
Your silence says it all
I'm restless but I will not fight

It's in Your hands
It's in Your hands
I trust You though I don't understand
It's in Your hands
It's in Your hands
I'll close my eyes and follow your plan
I trust You 'cause it's all in Your hands

As time slips through my fingers
I slow down and breathe you in
There's a peace that washes over me
And I'm not afraid at all
Of things I cannot see
Nor understand
'Cause faith is blind
And I'll go on another night
'Cause I know...
(It's in Your hands)

Maybe one day
This will make sense
But until then
I'm trusting You
I'm confused
But You'll come through
You always do
I've waited so long
To see my sun on
The horizon
Feel it coming on
And I'm seeing You

Love these pics too:

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLPALM 7/4/2013 12:15PM

    I understand more than you know! I was NOT in an abusive relationship, but MANY OF US, have tales to tell, but rather not, so we are LEARNING to DEAL with our pasts, and FOCUS ON THE PRESENT, and how to make US HAPPIER! That said, I truly do understand.

I chuckled when I read about the "PASTA LOVER" because, oh boy, that was soooooo me! And still could be! A little cooking trick I have learned......I STILL EAT PASTA, but cook CAULIFLOWER and PASTA together, almost equal NOW, but slowly got that way, cause I was afraid to try it, and make numerous recipes!!!! Trust me, it works! You will get your "PASTA FIX" in and the calories, fat, and carbs, will work in your favor!

Hope this all helps,

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PRETTYPITHY 4/22/2013 12:02PM

    I know exactly what you mean. I recently noticed, it isn't enough to remove food as an emotional crutch, you have to figure out the emotions it was meant to respond to and develop other strategies for dealing with those emotions. It sounds like you're on your way!

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TMARIAANN 4/22/2013 11:47AM

    I can relate, a lot of things in my past that I have pushed down and not dealt with resurfaced in my subconscious once I started to lose weight, it was like I was afraid to get below 270lbs and I was scaring myself back into emotional eating. For me it is still a work in progress but I have sat down with myself many times and forgiven the ppl that may have hurt me because they don't care, their lives go on but mine was at a stand still until I started to heel my wounds. You can do this, great blog.

Also I find going to a quite park and reading is very soothing to the soul.

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LIVELYGIRL2 4/20/2013 5:03PM

  Onward and upward. You go Girl with God! emoticon

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NILLAPEPSI 4/20/2013 10:25AM

    emoticon emoticon Beautiful song lyrics!!

I have always been an emotional eater. I've been trying to do other things rather than eat. Here are some of my strategies: call a friend, chew some sugar free gum, eat some carrots, go for a walk, go to the gym, take a nap, drink a cup of green tea.

Most of the time, those work.

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REFFIE1 4/19/2013 10:57AM

    I think our minds sometimes deliberately shelve things in an imaginary closet until we are ready to examine what is in there item by item. Eventually, things do demand to be looked at and it is not always easy. Sometimes it is easier to talk to a professional such as a psychologist so they can help you cope with what you discover.

Yes, I find without comfort food, a great many feelings came up for me and still do. I don't always know what they are about but I would rather feel them than sedate myself with food. I used to go into a food coma when I felt down. Congratulations for no longer stuffing down your feelings with junk food even when they are sometimes hard to feel. You are brave and worthy of taking the best care of yourself that you can. emoticon

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TECH1960PS 4/19/2013 8:44AM


Beautiful, thanks for sharing. emoticon

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CRYSTALJEM 4/19/2013 8:19AM

    My experience has been that issues, hurts etc will patiently wait for you to face them. They won't go away until they do. How you decide to face them and make peace with them is up to you. Through it all you need to ensure you truly learn to accept and love you. It's an ongoing process. And you bet music and tea help! Two of the greatest soul soothers ever!

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    Thank you for sharing the song. Hugs to you

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RYDERB 4/19/2013 7:35AM

    Thank you for sharing that song. It's beautiful. I've seen it written somewhere on SP, that, "it's not just what you eat, but what's eating you" Good luck working through those issues. You can do it!

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ELLENIRENE 4/19/2013 6:37AM

    yes, I think of things--little things, that happened 15-20 or more years ago--and it's usually an "injustice" either something I did to someone, or what they did to me.

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ILOVEMALI 4/19/2013 1:59AM

    It's interesting how, when you're ready to deaI still haven't dealt with my dad's passing -- I'm "doing" -- keeping busy. I have had a couple of wonderful dreams about him, and will deal when I'm ready. You're doing fine!

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I can do this!

Friday, April 12, 2013

So far it's been an interesting week. I've been doing little things to motivate myself. For example I'm a person who loves to wear hats. Not many of them fit anymore. So today I went through them all and just daydreamed. I imagined myself happy and wearing them and this in turn really inspired me. It's amazing how just these little pick me ups can get a person off the "feeling sorry for myself mode" into "I'm inspired and can actually do this!" mode

Last night I was proud of myself because I went 10 miles on the bike. That was a big Wow for me because the most I think I have ever gone is 7. Maybe 10 doesn't seem like a lot, but just knowing you are increasing, getting stronger and closer to your goals feels really good. I also tried yoga this week for my back. Because I am overweight, I have some back trouble. Using yoga specifically made for back problems I really recommend! I felt even better then when I go see my chiropractor.

I did some team challenges this week: drinking 8 glasses of water every day, getting in 200 minutes of exercise, and from another team I was going to see if I could go 14 days without the night snacking. Technically, I did eat at night, but I'm happy to say I didn't go overboard. I'm really trying to get into the habit of thinking before I impulsively overeat. Before I want to emotional eat, I'm going to try something else first, to see if I'm truly hungry. Like taking a bubble bath, or aromatherapy, something equally as soothing as eating. If I'm still hungry, then I will eat something.

I sometimes also think of that children's story. Can't quite remember it, but its the one where the squirrel prepares for winter gathering nuts while the other animal slacks off. Then when winter finally came, the other animal was sorry. I don't want to be that way in terms of weight loss, because I know when October finally comes....I can either be giving in to my old habits, or maybe actually be a new person. This is what inspires me most of all, is knowing that in time could actually be a lot different, and that I can actually do this!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KEELIE21 4/22/2013 12:25PM

    Love this blog, I try to approach this journey with the same calm positive outlook. You should be proud, looking weight issues in the eye can be really scary and you are doing great!

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DOLPHINSINGER72 4/16/2013 5:54PM

    You can totally do this. And a bubble bath sounds so lovely right now.

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LINDAKAY228 4/15/2013 9:45AM

    I can walk for long distances but riding a bike I'm not good at and 10 miles is awesome to me! Great job on all you've done this week. Yes you can do it and be a new person!

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LOVESLIFE48 4/15/2013 7:44AM

    Riding a bike for 10 miles is a great accomplishment!!!

I'm glad trying on hats encouraged you. Maybe I can find something to encourage me!! LOL!!

I know you can do this!! You sound focused. I know you will succeed!!


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TRIANGLE-WOMAN 4/14/2013 8:29PM


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FRANCIEVW 4/14/2013 8:21PM

    Congrats on your bike ride and the 14 day night snacking challenge! Great results to follow!

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SGTSUNNY 4/14/2013 6:50PM

    Great attitude! Love that you are doing so well, keep it up! I think team challenges is very helpful for helping me focus and improve.

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RYDERB 4/14/2013 3:58PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MJ7DM33 4/14/2013 12:37AM

  Yes you can!

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LIVINGFREE19 4/13/2013 11:02PM

    10 miles on the bike is a lot!

Big emoticon

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NANCYPAT1 4/13/2013 5:45PM

    You are doing GREAT - A fresh start can give you a lot of new energy

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SPARKLISE 4/13/2013 5:34PM

    Good job on the extra fitness!
Good luck on eating less at night! I know it's very hard.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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POOKASLUAGH 4/13/2013 1:25PM

    You definitely can do this!!

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NILLAPEPSI 4/13/2013 9:58AM

    Excellent blog!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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POINDEXTRA 4/13/2013 8:02AM

    You have a great attitude - and I agree that not giving up is most of the battle.

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08ESCAPE 4/13/2013 7:48AM

    Having the right attitude is the key, and it sounds like you have it Amy. I know you can do it!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FIREFLY4407 4/13/2013 5:21AM

    You have the right mindset and a great attitude - I'm confident you can do this - consistency is the key!!

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ILOVEMALI 4/13/2013 2:52AM

    You are so inspiring!!

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PINKNFITCARLA 4/12/2013 11:04PM

    emoticon emoticon

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JACKIE542 4/12/2013 10:17PM

    emoticon emoticon

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LOSINGLINNDY 4/12/2013 10:13PM


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EMMACORY 4/12/2013 10:02PM

You are on the way! Sounds like you are in a good space emotionally and mentally. I wish you all the luck on your journey to a healthy life-style! emoticon

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HOTPINKCAMARO49 4/12/2013 9:59PM

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