Saturday, May 24, 2014
In August of 2013 I moved from Southern Virginia to Northern Virginia for a job. I had been trying desperately to find employment since 2009 and was only able to land some temp jobs here and there so when I landed a part time job I was happy. Even though it was part time I saw it as an opportunity to grow into something more in the future. I love the jobís environment but over the months Iím not loving the job anymore or the department. I work with a few great people and students but itís just one of those jobs where if you care you truly canít work there. A new position in the department will be opening up soon and one of my supervisors is looking at me for the position. It will be full time and something the supervisor and others there can see me in. Iím confident that once trained and familiar with the main components of the position I will do fine however Iíve noticed some things just by helping out in this area in the department that I donít like. Iím not one to put my energy into something that I donít have true passion for so Iím not too sure about this move. I overall just donít care to be here anymore so Iíve been looking at other jobs.
With the move for the job came an actual move for me living/housing wise. Iíve been blessed in the whole situation because Iím living with family for the most part rent free. I buy groceries twice a month and pay a bill here and there which is kind of hard on a part time check but I felt obligated to do something other than just living there without paying anything. I went from living with one person to five people which have brought up some challenges but Iím trying my best to deal with them. The house is big enough where everyone can have their own space but my space was designated in the basement. There is one completed/finished room in the basement which was where I moved in all my belongings. Earlier this year I had an issue with earth worms finding their way into the room. Now I know some may be thinking ďthere worms, keeÖ its harmlessĒ BUT these things had some size to them and on two occasions in the dark with shadows have projected themselves to be bigger and to the paranoid eye may look like something else that slithers in the nightÖ
**cringes at the thought**
After a few weeks of bunking on the couch everyone kind of had an idea of how they were getting into the house (potting soil left in the basement) and we resolved the issue. A few weeks ago I came home from work, changed clothes to work out and sat on the bed to open mail. Out the corner of my eye I could see something move and once I turned my head to see what moved I noticed a medium size lizard hanging out near the desk. It was like we were having a starring contest and ultimately he won because I was out of there. One of my family members came home to deal with it (not sure if it was caught and released or if it met its maker) and nothing has been said of the incident since then. At this point Iím not comfortable with living in the room anymore. Iím from the country so Iím use to these creatures and know what theyíre about however what Iím not use to is living with them (like under the same roof). NO ONE in the house deems the fact that creatures are getting into the house important enough to deal with at the moment (in my opinion mainly because itís not immediately affecting them Ė they donít live in the basement) so Iíve been left to reside in the living room once again.
No one else in the house is on a healthy journey and I think Iíve mentioned this in past posts. I try to buy things in order to meal prep and have snacks for work and we all know when you buy things that are healthier for you it comes at a cost. Overall fruits and vegetables alone are not that expensive but when you add everything up it is. Iím helping out with buying random items for a house full on top of buying things for me so I wonít get sucked into eating what they eat. However, when I buy certain items (smart ones ice cream snacks, skinny cowsí snacks, yogurt, fresh fruit, etc) Iím not the one eating themÖ I bought a box of skinny cow ice cream bars to try last week. I ate one out of the box and by the end of that week they were gone. Iíve put out a disclaimer before about what Iím doing and what is mine and what can be shared but at this point itís not getting across to certain people and Iím left with hefty receipts and nothing to show for them. Itís getting to the point where I donít buy things I want to try because I know if I bring them in the house I wonít get a chance to experience them. Iím at a lost.
I graduated with my bachelorís in December of last year. I had an idea of what I wanted to do then so I quickly transitioned into graduate school and started this semester. I took one class and did pretty well in it (A- overall). However, after looking at the direction of the program and the direction I want to go in I see that there will be some problems. I decided to use this summer as time to truly look over what it is I want to do and find a program that is better suited for my goals. Iím doing the distant education thing at traditional brick and mortar schools which Iíve heard is better than other for-profit ďonly available online and at certain locations building wiseĒ schoolsÖ However, Iím noticing that there arenít a lot of experiences to learn/network with programs like these. There are no designated internships or volunteer opportunities in place through the school. Iíve been researching and looking on my own for almost a year now for an internship or even volunteer opportunities but that has so far been a bust. Iíve applied to at least six organizations that claim to have volunteer opportunities but have heard nothing from them. So not only is paid work limited, non paid work is as well. I work for a university now and thought Iíd be able to find an opportunity before or after my shifts there but HR has come back with nothingÖ Not even acknowledging my correspondences with them about volunteering.
ALL OF THIS has really given me an ďIím doneĒ mentality. Iíve gain five pounds this month, have gone completely off of my meal prep/eating clean mode, and havenít slept well in weeks. Iím trying to think positive and pray that this too shall pass but as we all know when youíre in the bad you canít see or think about the good sometimes.
Iím hoping in time I can find a new job where Iím away from all of this. I believe when you go on a journey like the one Iíve been trying to be a part of for some time it is all about your environment. If you are in a good environment the transition will be a little easier. Now Iíve known people who have transitioned beautifully in not so pleasant or easy environments so Iím not saying it CANíT be done Iím just saying it would be ideal if the environment set the tone for the movement.
Thatís basically where Iíve been for the past weeks. Iím starting to have time to get back on here since school is over for my course wise and the main sessions of school are over for where I work at the university.
This too shall passÖ It has too.