Sunday, January 02, 2011
4 years ago today it finally dawned on me that I was overweight, unhappy and needed to take action. I was 24 and weighed 270.8lbs. 4 years ago today I walked in to Jenny Craig and began the journey to a healthier me.
I have learned so much about food, health, fitness and most importantly about myself. Since starting my weight loss journey, I thought from now on everything would be easier. Some things are, such as clothes shopping, activity and fitting in to chairs and rides at amusement parks.....but my journey also brought out things that I'd never realize would challenge me.
For starters, I never "realized" I had issues with food. I simply ate because it tasted good and satisfied me and because I had to eat for survival....but before I didn't understand that my habits were unhealthy! I didn't "realize" I turned to food for comfort....that I leaned on it for emotional reasons....it was a crutch. I didn't know how much I weighed, nor did it matter to me.
It's interesting that once I became aware I had unhealthy habits, new things became issues for me. I've had to work at figuring out what options I had when i felt "emotional", instead of turning to food. I've had to work at figuring out what combinations of foods could satisfy me without filling myself with tons of empty calories....trying to focus on nutritious foods. I've battled with my scale....defining myself daily by the number my scale said every morning, allowing that to dictate my mood and battling the temptation to work out extra hard or try to eat veggies and fruits all day instead of focusing on BALANCE. Learning to address these things have been a rollercoaster all on its own, but what I now understand is that it's a BATTLE WORTH FIGHTING.
My goal this year is to focus on finding my BALANCE. I want to work on being reasonable...understanding what is reasonable for me without one extreme or another. I've put my scale away...I want to work on not letting that number define me. (this is tough for me but I know it's important for my sanity!) Instead of weighing myself daily I may opt to do so maybe once a week or month...I haven't decided yet.
I wish everyone working to achieve their goals patience, motivation, wisdom, balance and success.