BSHOWELL   16,965
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BSHOWELL's Recent Blog Entries

I'm Back

Friday, March 06, 2009

I took a lil Spark break. Needed some time to regroup etc etc.

Springtime is coming around. FINALLY. And as always, with the return of spring, I feel it's the return to ME (x3!).

I made it through the winter relatively mentally unscathed. The extra meds I was taking in an effort to counter the effects of my old nemesis SAD actually worked. Whoo hoo!

Meanwhile, my body is going through a flux right now. How INCREDIBLY ANNOYING! First I had a cold. The next week that turned into the flu. The next week that turned into bronchitis. Which isn't completely gone. That was a month ago. In the middle of all that, and you females will understand this, I started a new Pill and Lord only knows when THAT'S gonna settle. I'm about to start the third month of that and I will be grateful if the hormones would stop fluctuating and messing with the lady bits and MY WEIGHT. *sobs* Of course all of this is affecting my mood. So I can't tell if I'm in a depression or not. My vote is for "or not" but all these stupid physiological changes are messing with the whole package. Hmph.

Anywho I'm trying to hang in there, not jump out of my skin, and try to work with all of this. BLEH.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASILLA 3/21/2009 10:01AM

    Glad your back and the meds worked for the SAD, winter can be so hard. Hope your body has kicked that bronchitis to the curb!
Spring is here, sending sunny thoughts your way.


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CRAZY_CAROLLYNN 3/6/2009 12:30PM

    I am glad to have you back. I missed your blogs and two cents on threads.
Ya know...if its not one thing its another. Life is an endless cycle of challenges and obstacles. Otherwise we would get pretty bored pretty fast. :-)
I'm happy to hear that you are still plugging away and doing the best you can. I also vote for NOT in depression, because you are free from playing the blame game or obsessing over how and why...just taking it as it comes and trying to make the best of it and make better choices for a better life.
Yeah we sometimes have to look in the past to recognize a poor choice in order to make a better one...or to realize how far we've actually come, but we surely shan't dwell back there.
So...Here's to tomorrow, bronchitis faded away, pills and hormones settled, Mood stabilized and SAD out of season.

Welcome Back Baby, Return to thee times three, 2009 is thyne!

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Ringing in the New Year

Monday, January 05, 2009

I took a lil break from life the last part of December. Clear my head, rest up, veg out a little. I feel great.

'08 was a rough year. But I made it through. '09 can only go up (knock on wood). I ended the year pretty ok. A little stressed, way broke, but happy. I've got an unexpected new man in my life. He's such a blessing. I'm still employed. My SAD is in check. I haven't had any depressive episodes in a while. I am definitely counting my blessings.

I refuse to make resolutions. I never keep them. And I so do not need that extra stress. I know how I am. But I do have goals. Quit cancelling my therapy sessions, for one. Yeah, yeah I know. Bad me. I also have to make an appointment to see my pdoc...that was supposed to happen in October. Oops. And perhaps this year I shall work through my terror of doctors. Or not...we'll see.

But I hope the year brings light. Or something close to it. And the same for everyone else!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRAZY_CAROLLYNN 1/6/2009 9:25PM

    I agree with not needed to add any extra stress as far as resolutions. A dream without a plan is just a wish and all that-
Being here in the SP world, goals are much better.
I'm glad you took a bgreak and chilled. I used to get very overwhelmed with this site. Im happy you found a new man. Envious, but happy. lol
I have made real progress with my depression lately. This is the first year I went the whole holiday without having a single manic episode. I blog about my fights just about every day.
Happy New Year!

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CINDERRELIC 1/5/2009 3:32PM

    Great Blog! It sounds like you have put your priorities in order and have things somewhat under control, or at least as much as any of us can. I don't do new year's resolutions either. However, I do set short term goals that I know I can do.
My short term goal is to eliminate 2 more pounds this month. Will need your support to do it and appreciate you posting to our team. You are awesome!!!

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Getting to Know You

Monday, November 10, 2008

I've seen this in various places and decided it'd make a good blog entry!

1. YOUR NAME: Bethany

2. ARE YOU MARRIED? Nope!

3. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? HOW MANY? AGES? None!

4. DO YOU WORK OUTSIDE THE HOME? Yes

5. DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? Do books count?

6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? Purple and black

7. HOW MANY TV'S DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR HOUSE? 5 - but only one is mine

8. DO YOU OWN A PIECE OF WORKOUT EQUIPMENT? Er...no

9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? Regular - water and Coke Zero; Alcoholic - anything involving Belvedere or Grey Goose vodkas

10. DO YOU BELONG TO OTHER ONLINE GROUPS OTHER THAN SPARKPEOPLE? Many

11. FAVORITE TV SHOW? All of them?

12. DID YOU (OR ARE YOU GOING) GO ON VACATION THIS SUMMER? WHERE? I went to Austin for my aunt's wedding

13. DO YOU LOG YOUR FOOD EVERY DAY? No but I try to

14. WHAT IS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Ghost Rider

15. HOW MANY TIMES A WEEK DO YOU GO OUT TO EAT? Maybe every few months

16. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOLIDAY? Not really feeling holidayish this year

17. DO YOU STRETCH AFTER WORKING OUT? No (I know I should)

18. LAST BOOK YOU READ? I don't even know - I read four last week and three this weekend - I lost count

19. FAVORITE COLOR CRAYON? I hate crayons

20. DO YOU LIKE HARRY POTTER? ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT THE NEW MOVIE? Yes indeed!

21. HOW LATE DID YOU STAY UP LAST NIGHT? Midnight (that's good for me - I'm an insomniac)

22. DO YOU GET UP AT THE SAME TIME EVERY DAY? In a range - b/t 5:30 and 6

23. FAVORITE VEGETABLE? FRUIT? A certain brand of organic frozen corn and Bosc pears and cherries

24. DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY TRADITIONS? Not any more. Although I guess you could count me and my sisters' annual/bi-annual Vegas trip a tradition.

25. WOULD YOU SHAVE YOUR HEAD FOR $100,000? Sure. It's just hair. And they make wigs.

26. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATOOS OR PIERCINGS? Just ears. I'm terrified of needles.

27. TELL US SOMETHING ODD ABOUT YOURSELF. I hate possums. And black squirrels. They creep me out immensely.

28. DO YOU DRINK YOUR WATER PLAIN OR ADD FLAVORING? Usually plain.

29. HOW OFTEN DO YOU WEIGH YOURSELF? I don't.

30. FAVORITE FLOWER? Gerbera daisy, honeysuckle, tiger lily, morning glory

31. WHAT KIND OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? All. I love music. And I listen to whatever suits my mood.

32. DO YOU HAVE A PEDOMETER? Sure do

33. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? Does my roommate's mini-human's pet bunny who thinks she belongs to me (or I belong to her) count?

34. SOMETHING YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT? Makeup and my flat iron. Ooh and my contacts.

35. DO YOU USE MYSPACE OR FACEBOOK? Both

36. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU DRIVE? I don't drive

37. WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DOING RIGHT NOW? Working

38. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 5! Hehe. I'm 31.

39. WHAT MONTH IS YOUR BIRTHDAY? April

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKNB 12/23/2008 2:22AM

    I copied this too!

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PKELLAM 12/15/2008 5:09PM

    Hi! Great idea. I hope you don't mind that I borrowed it for my blog today!

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CRAZY_CAROLLYNN 11/25/2008 2:29PM

    Nice to meet you!!!

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Managing

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

So far this September/October isn't going nearly as horribly as last year around this time. That's not to say I'm not having problems, but it's a marked difference. Since I started an additional medication well before this year's S.A.D. actually kicked in, I had a little bit of a headstart in curbing some of the symptoms. I know it's here, though. I have had no energy to do anything and no desire to try. At all. I'm not super down depressed but very listless. Which has got to GO. Today was the first day I've actually felt pretty good in a while. I got up when my alarm went off (usually lie in bed for 30 minutes) and went to work (which has also been an issue getting to and getting there on time lately). I got a good night's sleep (thank you Ambien) and I've started the day out right with vitamins and breakfast. My goal for this week is to TRY.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2BASWAN 10/17/2008 10:27PM

    Good for you in getting up with your alarm. I know that's a really hard one for me as well. Eating breakfast and taking your vitamins really does make a difference in how your day will go. Celebrate the good days so when the low hits, you will get through it with self care. I liked your goal for this week to "Try." I hope that went well with you.

Cathie

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Summer's ending...

Friday, September 05, 2008

...which of course is a problem for me. The S.A.D. has started kicking in. Not much, but I can tell. I've been taking walks like a mad woman! A mile or two at a time in full on sunlight. It does a lot to lift my spirits. And help me manage my anxiety attacks. I don't get them that often, despite having Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but for whatever reason I had an attack or something Monday and Tuesday that would NOT go away. I took some meds just to stop the literal shaking a little. Then Tuesday I was outside like three times just motoring along. I finally got it down to manageable. And got in some exercise at the same time! Yay me! So it's exercise, exercise, exercise. Water, water, water. And vegetables, vegetables, vegetables. Hard work but somebody's gotta do it! Besides, my skin looks fabulous. HA!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HIPPICHICK1 9/11/2008 2:20PM

    Hello and thanks for the warm welcome to Pagan Place! I thought I'd mention that I'd read about vitamin D since I'm in Canada and we are exposed to fewer hours of sunshine that our neighbours to the south. ANway, I had a friend tell me that she was taking 2,000 IU of vitamin D and it did her so much good. She had energy to spare. I've not tried it but it might not be a bad idea to research it!
Good Luck!
HippiChick

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MIRTILLA 9/10/2008 12:38PM

    hi, I think you are going very well!!!!like a very truly motivator, isn't it?


bye from Italy
Mirtilla emoticon

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POTIONSINMOTION 9/8/2008 9:03PM

    I think it's admirable the way you've managed your anxiety. High, prolonged stress levels have done the same to me; I took something for anxiety while I was wrapping up my master's program...I just couldn't deal with it. The same thing happened when I was jobless for an extended period.

Exercising and watching what I eat has done a lot for my stress level. I find that I'm not sweating the small stuff as much. Every now and then, I'll feel the anxiety start to bubble up inside, and I can manage now with some breathing exercises.

Anyway, I just wanted to stop by and visit. Thanks for the welcome, and keep up the good work.

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