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I love numbers, especially discount numbers.

Friday, May 17, 2013

That’s why “shopping” for me means “where’s that clearance rack?”

I keep my clothes a very long time.
Case in point: Here I am in Rome in 2011 with my grandchildren


Here I am in 1996 – same city, same dress, same husband, but darker hair and an extra 25 lbs under that dress. At the time I blamed the wind for billowing out that skirt - excuses, excuses.


DH is taking the picture along with the wife of the guy I’m with. They’re long time friends of ours. We’ll be cruising with them again next week.

Even though I don’t really care about fashion, I like to buy some new stuff occasionally if only so my vacation photos will look different from year to year.

Now we’re taking a 2 week cruise on the Danube – Vienna to the Black Sea.

DH needed some new pants. While he was in the dressing room I got:
4 tops and 1 pair of pants
Original price: $193.98
I paid: $43.16

OK, only 2 items are suitable for spring cruising, but we’ll have a winter vacation too. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m very patient. I can wait to wear my new clothes, especially at that price.

I’m the fashion industry equivalent of the “gleaners” who follow the harvest machinery in the fields so nothing goes to waste. Of course, gleaners are given free access, clothing manufacturers at least get something from me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHEBESS 5/17/2013 9:25PM

    I love a good bargain - like the jean jacket I found in the road, washed, and wore for years.

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COCK-ROBIN 5/17/2013 7:44PM

    Wonderful!

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COCK-ROBIN 5/17/2013 7:44PM

    Wonderful!

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WATERMELLEN 5/17/2013 7:24PM

    That is a great dress! And I am right beside you at the clearance rack. Love liquidation (bought 4 pairs of new Tommy Hilfiger chinos AND a Diana von Furstenberg silk knit wrap dress for a total of $60 last weekend). Also love dead stock on etsy or ebay (brand new robin egg blue leather jacket, $20 + shipping) and thrift stores and gifts from girlfriends . . . daughter still talks about the time I found a soft grey and pink flannel shirt in a mud puddle, washed and mended it, and wore it for years!.

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MNNICE 5/17/2013 11:51AM

    I can relate to this! It's about being comfortable for me! And I love that dress!

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BOOKAPHILE 5/17/2013 10:35AM

    Lol. I have several things in my closet that are very old:

I made a dress for my husband's 20th high school reunion (1989), and, unbelievably, I'm wearing it to my daughter's wedding next month. It has the perfect colors and the style and fit are better than anything I could find now in all the stores I searched!

I taylored a 3 piece wool suit early in our marriage which I found a few months ago in a garment bag. It fits wonderfully... however I don't think I'll be wearing all three pieces together these days!

You are a champ at finding bargins! Enjoy your trip and your clothes!

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JAHINTZY 5/17/2013 10:11AM

    teeheehee I'm with you, I should try to find a recent photo of me in my favorite blue skirt, I bought it on my first trip to germany in 2002, I still own and wear it. (some years it's been tighter than others, some years I thought about taking it in but never did) I like to buy clothing as souveniers personally. Makes for a useful trinket and no one else might know the significance, but at least I do :)

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AUGUSTDRAGON 5/17/2013 10:10AM

    I have some 30+ year old stuff in my closet, and lately I've been snagging some great things at the local thrift store. If you buy the items that are color tagged for additional savings you can really score big!

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SUZYMOBILE 5/17/2013 9:52AM

    Hey, I LOVE that dress. I'd still be wearing it, too. In fact, if you want to get rid of it, I'll take it.

Clearance rack? Sorry. Too expensive for me. I go to the clearance rack, see T-shirts for $20, turn right around, and head to Goodwill or the free pile of stuff by the side of the road! I'm REALLY cheap and hate to shop in regular stores. Of course, now that I'm working at home, I don't need much.

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DR1939 5/17/2013 9:03AM

    Have you done the Russian River Cruise. Very interesting. I'm with you on the clearance rank. That's my first stop. I try to buy as I find something rather than waiting until I need it. And I usually buy only what I really love. I wear my clothes for a long time also.

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KANOE10 5/17/2013 8:59AM

    I do the same.. I head right for the clearance rack. That is so fun that you are going on a cruise. You are ready to go.

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KANDOLAKER 5/17/2013 8:42AM

    You found some deals!! Your next river cruises sounds very exciting. Enjoy and I know you'll make healthy choices along the journey!

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BOILHAM 5/17/2013 8:22AM

    Great blog. You know DW and I are also thrifty, to say the least. She's a couponer, clearance rack shopper and off season buyer, and so am I.



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CELIAMINER 5/17/2013 8:18AM

    I finally had to get rid of nearly all my old clothes, but it was hardest to part with a Lands End sweater I had worn for decades. I had three passport pictures taken in that sweater (initial, 10 years later, and 10 years after that). So I know what you mean about keeping clothes a long time. For that reason, I shun trendy stuff and opt for classics (though I never would have predicted shoulder pads would go out of style...then come back right after I got rid of the few things that fit from that era). My trainer is the same way. She recently pulled out a dress from the disco era to wear to a retro party/dance. No one could tell the dress was from the 80s, because the style has come back, and she couldn't quite manage the 80s hair.

Comment edited on: 5/17/2013 8:20:32 AM

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OWL_20 5/17/2013 8:11AM

    WOO-HOO for sales! My husband has shirts that I saw for the first time when we were dating for that week 20+ years ago. Mine aren't as old, but getting there--I too love the discounts/clearance and believe in taking care of what I have in the closet, lol.

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KELLIEBEAN 5/17/2013 8:02AM

    I LOVE a good sale!! I am so cheap. I want to look good for less.

Nice job on the bargain hunting. Very excited for you cruise!

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DOVESEYES 5/17/2013 7:50AM

    I'm a dedicated follower of the SALE rack myself and some of my best clothes are between $5-14. I find I never noticed some of them till they appeared on the sale rack, and they really are long term clothes.

Great bargains you got-- how lovely to travel the world too!!!

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WILSONWR 5/17/2013 7:34AM

    You got some great bargains! I do the same thing. I'd rather stretch my money as far as I can.

Sounds like you have a great trip planned. Have fun!

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RIDLEYRIDER 5/17/2013 7:10AM

  I don't follow fashion but I love a bargain. Keep up the great work!

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NANNABLACK 5/17/2013 7:06AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ONEKIDSMOM 5/17/2013 6:49AM

    Me, three! Hated to shop when I was heavy. Still hate to shop. No fashionista here.

In fact, it was my ex who used to take me shopping and dress me when I was "stout". And it's one of my kid sisters who took joy in taking me to pick out the dress for my niece's wedding two and a half years ago at my maintenance weight. It remains the last dress I have purchased. emoticon

Most of what I *do* buy is not shopping, it's buying: slacks, tops, undies... OR sportswear for eventing. Not that I don't appreciate a well-put together look that someone else wears... in fact, there is a twinge of envy? Admiration? But not the willingness to put in the work to get there!

Enjoy that cruise!

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TORTISE110 5/17/2013 6:46AM

    Fun! I love fashion too, though lo, am not so good at bargain hunting. Wtg

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BLUENOSE63 5/17/2013 6:45AM

  That is my mantra --- never play retail for any clothing! I love that dress in the pics, very pretty colour

Have a great day!

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ANNIEONLI 5/17/2013 6:40AM

    LMAO - I am SO the same way...but because I hated to shop because I was fat and when I found something that fit, I bought 6 of the same (true story about a sweater I found)

Now, I LOVE a good sale...and clearance racks are my favorite place for gems!! I just found a sequened black dress for a wedding in September! $85 down to$12!!! couldn't pass it up...did I mentioned it sequened? the entire thing? Never thought I'd ever do that one! LOL

Enjoy your upcoming trip!!!!!! Can't wait to see pics!!

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Little by little plain yogurt is overtaking the flavored variety in my daily food plan.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

I’m the Queen of Gradualism in all things – weight loss, fitness improvement and now sugar reduction.

I love my organic yogurt but my flavor of choice is French Vanilla. I buy it by the quart and eat 8 oz or more per day. I add my own fruit to it too.

Recently I bought a quart of “plain” by accident. Unfortunately, I have to like my food and I don’t like plain yogurt. I was surprised to see that it had half the sugar of my favorite, but that still wasn’t enough of an incentive for me to eat it.

I’m too thrifty a person to throw it out and DH won’t eat any yogurt. So I mixed one tablespoon of the plain stuff with the French Vanilla (still 1 cup total). That totally disguised it so I continued the experiment bit by bit.

It’s been about a month but my mixture is now half and half. Now I buy a quart of each variety. My taste buds are still happy and I’ve reduced the sugar content by 8 grams. I don’t know how long this will continue, but I like the trend.

This would be too slow for a lot of people, but when I began my weight loss journey, my calorie deficit was only 250 calories per day. When I started running I increased my running intervals by 15 seconds per week. I’m a very patient person.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CELIAMINER 5/17/2013 9:50AM

    Wow, the comments were as educational as your blog! I like plain Greek yogurt with a little honey, fresh berries, and ground flax seed.

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KANOE10 5/17/2013 9:22AM

    Great job of being patient with change. I love greek yogurt and use it with berries or in place of sour cream.

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LEWILL1982 5/17/2013 8:37AM

    I tried to respond to this yesterday and my computer spazzed on me. I think I was going to suggest adding canned pumpkin to your plain yogurt. I also add fruit, cinnamon, nuts, honey and sometimes apple butter.

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OWL_20 5/17/2013 8:06AM

    You have a lot of patience! But I like your style of mixing the two. And honestly you made me feel kind of good for not being further along, because if you can take the time to do things slowly then I can, too. emoticon

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BLUENOSE63 5/17/2013 6:47AM

  My absolute favourite is homemade Tzadiki with lots of garlic.....I eat that every day using plain strained yogurt (you take out the whey overnight), shredded seedless cucumbers, fresh dill and garlic. I have it with some type of vegetable 5 out of 7 days a week

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SUNSET09 5/16/2013 12:45PM

  I enjoy the plain greek yogurt however, I add honey for flavor an dit works for me. We can retrain our taste buds. I'm like you as well, not wanting to be wasteful. Keep up the good work! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/16/2013 12:53:56 PM

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CHERYL_ANNE 5/16/2013 11:06AM

    WooHoo for gradual changes that you can adapt and make your own!
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I grew up eating plain yogurt and adding either fruit or a spoonful of jam/jelly to it was all I knew. It's still what I still do today and even my husband even prefers it to "flavored" yogurt.





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DR1939 5/16/2013 10:18AM

    The tortoise wins again!

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CARI2012 5/16/2013 9:15AM

    Good for you! Even *baby* steps in the right direction are still STEPS IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION!

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JAHINTZY 5/16/2013 9:08AM

    oo that's a good idea! I love my vanilla yogurt but the brand I buy (because it's what I can afford) puts too much sugar in it. It even tastes too sweet to me. But I don't like plain yogurt all that much and if I do buy it and doctor it I end up adding a fair amount of sugar to it anyway. thanks for sharing! don't know why I didn't think of that :-p

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WILSONWR 5/16/2013 8:09AM

    I'm glad you found a way to incorporate the plain yogurt into your meal. Slow is good...

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COCK-ROBIN 5/16/2013 8:01AM

    Good for you!

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KANDOLAKER 5/16/2013 7:31AM

    Love your patience, and your resourcefulness in learning to like plain yogurt!!

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NANNABLACK 5/16/2013 7:29AM

    I like doing this with the food I love. I was drinking 1% milk and wanted to go fat free. So I would buy a gallon of each and poured 1/2 and 1/2 to my glass. I am now drinking just fat free milk.
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WATERMELLEN 5/16/2013 7:09AM

    Lots of wisdom in slow incremental change: the kind that lasts! I love my Greek fat free sugar free with berries (and maybe just a little Splenda . . . . !!: I do avoid aspartame).

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ONEKIDSMOM 5/16/2013 6:55AM

    Patience is a virtue! I tend to make a huge change, then take a step back, and regress for a while... then tease myself back to it more gradually.

Plain yogurt? Been so glad to find my favorite brand in single serving sizes! emoticon Gotta like your food... absolutely! emoticon

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DOVESEYES 5/16/2013 6:55AM

    Fantastic!!!

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SLENDERELLA61 5/16/2013 6:52AM

    Love it! Great gradualism. That's a great way to make positive changes. Good for you!!!

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Where would Venus de Milo shop?

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

On my blog yesterday I asked “Is that a curve or a muffin top?”

I love Sparkers, especially reading blogs and comments.
AugustDragon’s comment got me thinking about measurements of women in centuries past, specifically Renaissance times.

Great technology’s ghost! There are actually websites about this!
For example: (Caution: This is classical art – think nudity)
While the women in these paintings would never be found on the cover of Shape Magazine, neither would they be in a Lane Bryant advertisement. Although some SP toning videos would be beneficial, in our increasingly super-sized society, these gals wouldn’t even stand out.
www.femininebeauty.info/medieval-bod
y-size-preferences


However, you can’t get measurements from a painting, so I went back further in history to the Venus de Milo sculpture.
She measures 34 - 31.5 - 40.2. Yes, that information is online too! That would make her a size 4-6 in tops and 10-12 in pants (depending on the manufacturer).
She’s also 5’4” tall. (no weight of course – she’s marble after all).

What is noticeable is the pervasive “pear shape” of all the artists’ visions of women.
It took 20th century creativity to invent implants.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WATERMELLEN 5/15/2013 9:54PM

    As a former art history teacher -- this made me giggle. For every Rubens, of course, there's a stick like Giacometti . . . the New Kingdom Egyptian ladies were very elegantly slender. Fashions in bodies change, no question about it!

Thanks too for your kind comment on my four year blog, and congrats to you for being here pretty much the same time. I'm so glad you found your voice, and that I've got to know you here!

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DOVESEYES 5/15/2013 7:40PM

    Thanks for sharing that research amazing

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SLENDERELLA61 5/15/2013 12:58PM

    You make several great points in your blogs yesterday and today. I'm not sure what influences have created in me a preference for a certain weight. Maybe I would not even approve of all those influences. But I know what weight feels right and it is at the lower end of Weight Watchers' range for 5'6", 124-155. If I find I can do it without making myself nuts, I'm going to. If time shows me that I need to weigh more, I will. -Marsha

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SHIRAZSOLLY 5/15/2013 11:36AM

    The classic baby-making womanly figure! THAT is reproductive ability, and the ancients knew it, too. They made sculptures and paintings depicting a woman's weight from her hips down to her knees.

I don't have this figure (I almost wish I did) - I have to be thin enough for my ribs to show to have waist-hip definition. And my thighs are just blocks, not luscious curves. But I don't mind admitting that nature intended the majority of women to have rounded lower bodies.

From my anatomy and physiology studies, though, I know that genes and sex hormones make an infinite variety of possibilities, so that many inherited traits are available on a sliding scale. And then our lifestyles and health vary them even further!


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JAHINTZY 5/15/2013 10:42AM

    holy crap! my measurements almost match the venus de milo?! woah weird...

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COCK-ROBIN 5/15/2013 10:17AM

    Interesting!

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SUZYMOBILE 5/15/2013 10:09AM

    Fascinating!

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AUGUSTDRAGON 5/15/2013 9:37AM

    Don't we all feel better now! My shape is perfect, for a past and present era. It just needs a bit of trimming here and there. emoticon

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KELLIEBEAN 5/15/2013 8:27AM

    Interesting article. It's always interesting to see the changes in the ideal woman through time.

I am happy with my pear shape!

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KANOE10 5/15/2013 8:09AM

    How funny that you could find the actual measurements. I see young girls in their teens and twenties getting implants.

Did you know that men can get abdominal implants to have the perfect muscled stomach?

Great article.

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CELIAMINER 5/15/2013 7:51AM

    Pear shape for me! Interesting look at art and attitudes. I had always bought that "Rubenesque" theory, so the article was an eye-opener.

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MAGGIE101857 5/15/2013 7:29AM

    Sitting here Sparking and watching the news...just saw a clip that said "more over BMI", not as accurate as a waist size to height. If your waist is more than 1/2 your height, you are in big trouble!

So your example above -- 31.5 (x2 = 63) and 64" height, she is considered "safe" but bordering on the problem zone. emoticon

As for me, I am going to try and grow a few inches today - Miracle-Gro works on my plants, so perhaps a quick shower????

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NANNABLACK 5/15/2013 7:19AM

    emoticon

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ONEKIDSMOM 5/15/2013 7:10AM

    Here's to loving the bodies we've been dealt, whatever their shape, and loving them at whatever their current size. They *do* so much for us! emoticon

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KKLENNERT809 5/15/2013 6:45AM

    emoticon

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Is that a curve or a muffin top?

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

It depends on your perspective, doesn’t it?

For the record: It doesn’t matter to me what anyone wears. I would never even notice unless you show up in ripped jeans and a tube top at a formal wedding.

Then I read about this - H & M using a “plus size” model in swim suit campaign.
This “event” has been highlighted in many segments of the press. It interested me not so much because of the article’s substance but because of the comments it generated.

For example:
1) Size 12 isn’t “plus size” Marilyn Monroe was a size 12.
Reality: In today’s sizing Marilyn would wear a size 4 or 6 at most.
In the 1960s regular sizes were 8 – 18 after that you were a “plus size”
Going by measurements, today those sizes correspond to 0-10 so for some manufacturers 12 and up is “plus size.”
For a reality check, look at Simplicity patterns which held the line against sizing creep.

2) Finally, they are featuring “real women” in advertising.
Hey – we’re all REAL WOMEN! Tall, short, fat, slim, buxom or flat chested.

3) Finally, they are featuring “normal” weight women in advertising.
”Normal” is being redefined as we continue to gain weight. Does that mean we just accept it? Our perception of normal is becoming skewed as our entire society becomes larger. We are redesigning our infrastructure to accommodate this change – clothing sizes, larger furniture, reinforced hospital equipment, buses with stronger undercarriages etc. How far can we go with this?

You can google many articles about this event. I’m sure that H & M is thrilled with the publicity. They are in business to sell clothes after all.

Here’s one of them
style.time.com/2013/05/08/hm-
praised-for-using-size-12-model-in-swi
mwear-campaign/


This comment to the article makes a different, very significant point.
”underweight is too passe, it's all about being overweight now!
It's quite hilarious people get outraged when brands use skinny underweight models but applaud when plus size models are used, because the former aren't normal or good as role models, but the latter totally are. what a double standard!
Unhealthy is not gorgeous! whether is it underweight or overweight! and if you want to say 'real' women are gorgeous, then it should apply to every woman”

That comment did make me wonder why there are no models between underweight and plus size. Can’t they find any size 2 – 10s?

Now back to those bathing suits. I wear a “2 piece” all the time (also called a “tankini”) for the same reason I no longer buy a “jumpsuit. It simplifies bathroom visits.

For me clothing choice is also age related. I don’t think I’ll ever hear “Wouldn’t those booty shorts look great on you Grandma?” even though a regular size would fit just fine.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OWL_20 5/14/2013 5:38PM

    I think you brought up an excellent point here--how far are we to go with this? Making amends because most of us are overweight, seems counterproductive to actually 'fixing' the problem of society being overweight. If that makes any sense. And 'fixing' is not the right word, but I can't find another suitable one.

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BLUENOSE63 5/14/2013 5:21PM

  As I workout everyday, I am always in workout clothes and I find them most comfortable ie. Nike capris etc.

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GINIEMIE 5/14/2013 4:35PM

    When I was grossly overweight, I resented them marketing plus sizes on tiny models. It just didn't seem right. Like you, I think they should choose from the gamut of standard sized people and show plus sizes on plus size people. The healthy look should rule, not emaciated models nor all overweight people. We come in all shapes and sizes, petites shouldn't be modeled by someone 5'5 either. If you sell petites, show some petite models wearing those sizes. OOO! I think you struck a nerve my friend. When I was in high school-a long time ago-I was embarassed because I wore 16 Misses. After I graduated high school and lived overseas for a year, where I walked daily, I came home a size 9/10.
I like two piece bathing suits too, not bikinis, I guess they are what you call tankinis and I wouldn't get caught dead in booty shorts. I think they are disgusting on young people, why would I show my old body in those?
Your opinionated friend.
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HAYBURNER1969 5/14/2013 2:31PM

    I had my own experience with "the new normal" this morning at a regional church meeting. An older woman came up to me and said, "Are you sick? You've lost weight!" I told her that no, if anything, I've gained weight since she's seen me. Her response, "Oh good! Gain more! You are too skinny." I said, "There is a wide range of 'healthy' for my height. I can weigh between 108 and 140 pounds. I'm almost slam in the middle at 119." Not that it was any of her business.

Maybe I should have responded that she hasn't changed a bit; she's as rude as ever.

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JAHINTZY 5/14/2013 12:06PM

    yes on all counts that you pointed out :) I would like to see some models who are those in between sizes, what do we have to do to get a little variety eh?

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WILSONWR 5/14/2013 11:28AM

    Definitely a double standard when it comes to modeling. As you've said before, the new "normal" appears to be overweight...

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BOILHAM 5/14/2013 11:19AM

    My DW was blessed with an hour glass figure. She still has a va va voom shape at the age of 65, and although she could easily wear one, she would not wear a bikini, or even a two piece. For her, clothing choice (and hairstyle) is clearly age related as you say.
Yes, we are redefining 'normal' with the creeping numers in sizing for women.
So many good point sin this blog, thanks.


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SHIRAZSOLLY 5/14/2013 11:14AM

    I have a really wide back and really wide feet so I get a couple plus sized catalogs, even tough I otherwise buy normal clothes or clothes at thrift stores. The plus catalogs REALLY annoy me. How can they say a woman is plus sized when she has such skinny legs? So far as I can tell the only thing plus sized about her is she has a D cup bra.

Plus size in America, according to most ADVERTISERS, is about SEX, just like regular sizes are. Plus sizes according to most American WOMEN is about whatever their tushes or waistlines or whatever else needs covering. Grrrrrr....

I would like to see advertisers recognize that people are as varied as the landscape. Some of us are mountains, some of us are valleys, some of us are plains. We are America the Beautiful, damn it! (Insert National Hymn here!)

Comment edited on: 5/14/2013 11:19:51 AM

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AUGUSTDRAGON 5/14/2013 9:12AM

    Back in "western" times all the bars had a painting hanging over them. The lovely, attractive (naked) model in them looked more like a 14, than a 4 to me! And the painter Reuben painted many a "healthy" woman. We're all just living in the wrong time period right now! emoticon

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KANOE10 5/14/2013 8:07AM

    Yes, I would like to see models in the range between healthy weight and plus size. The new normal of being overweight is not healthy. I am not getting booty short ether.
Interesting article. Thanks.

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WATERMELLEN 5/14/2013 7:52AM

    Apparently the average woman waist size is no 38" and average man waist size 40": which explains (according to an article in the paper this morning) why airplane seats are so uncomfortable.

Tankinis are a wonderful bathing suit style --

And: I'm not wearing booty shorts any time soon either: ewwwwww!!

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NANNABLACK 5/14/2013 7:44AM

    emoticon

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WUMPASTAR 5/14/2013 6:53AM

    "Can’t they find any size 2 – 10s?"
I SO agree. Tired of what people call the "skinny bashing" - girls saying that only women with curves, or "larger" women are "real" women. Excuse the words but - if you have a vagina, a pair of boobs and the XX chromosome, you're a woman. It's not defined by physical appearance or weight. I think it's great that H&M is using a size 12 model, but as great as it'd be for them to use other sizes. I think all brands should just use a variety of size models, not real skinny and plus-size only.

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ONEKIDSMOM 5/14/2013 6:47AM

    I gave up on being "fashionable" years ago... and since dropping the pounds and maintaining, have never really bought in, either. For me clothing is about modesty, function, and comfort. I need to be able to DO what I need to DO in it, whatever my size.

Often, the difference between a "curve" and a "muffin top" is a proper fit of the garment. Interesting post! emoticon

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SWEETYOUNGTHING 5/14/2013 6:19AM

    There have been many times I've seen women of all ages wearing garments that inspire me to think "just because they make it in your size doesn't mean you should be wearing it". emoticon I'm certainly not a fashion plate; I think there is WAY too much importance put on clothing by women. Thank goodness everyone doesn't think like me or the economy would tank!



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How important is winning?

Monday, May 13, 2013

Probably because I recently wrote about competitive vs. fun sports for kids, I was especially attentive to attitude as I sat at our grandson’s soccer game.

DGS #5 is quite talented. He was recruited for a travel team (under 12) as soon as he turned 10. DD#2 elected to have him stay with the rec league, but that had problems too. After he scored a few goals, he would be benched so the game would remain competitive. Sometimes that could happen within 10 minutes and he wouldn’t even get the minimum playing minutes that rec teams were known for.

Long ago two of our three children were involved in competitive sports and 2 competed in SERIOUS piano competition. (DD#2 did both) When waiting for the awards, more than anything, I wanted my kids (or their team) to win something. It’s the same way with me. I want to win something, whether at a race or in the morning when I get on the scale. I want my effort to be validated somehow.

Fortunately that feeling passes quickly. When getting on with my day, going out for lunch after a game or a race or just signing on to SP after my morning weigh-in, that temporary win (or loss) isn’t so important.

After a piano competition long ago, my 8 year old daughter told me that “it doesn’t matter if you win or lose because you have to do it all again anyway.” She meant practice and compete.

That was a very perceptive attitude for a kid. This morning my scale showed an upward leap. Since I weigh every day, I know this isn’t a big deal, just the result of a lunch of Greek food and dinner at a Mexican restaurant. It isn’t often that I eat out twice in the same day.

Whether my scale is being friendly or not (win or lose), I have to “do it all again” anyway if I want to maintain a healthy, active lifestyle.

Regarding DGS#5 – The coach had a perfect solution. After DGS scored 2-4 goals, he could still play but he had to only pass the ball to a teammate. If there was no one around then he could take a shot himself as long as he did it with his left foot. The result was improvement in his all around skills and a better, more competitive game for all.

There’s a difference between short term and long term wins. I’m in this for the long term.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OWL_20 5/13/2013 6:39PM

    I like your coach's solution a lot. I have no experience with kids and competition nowadays, but I do remember from 'back in the day'. We had a pretty competitive soccer league when I was playing, our coach was mad about winning. As I grew older the competitive spirit just went 'meh' not sure why, maybe it's because I thought I couldn't hack it, so I wouldn't try. Interesting blog--making me think, here!

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LILYDOG11 5/13/2013 2:15PM

    Hmmm maybe this will work out much better a 2 footer if there is any money in this as an adult this might be a good experience.

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CELIAMINER 5/13/2013 1:57PM

    When it comes to things physical, since I've never been much good at them, I tend to shun competition and pursue solitary endeavors, like walking. Academics was my competitive arena, and I could be pretty intense in my pursuit of good grades. Now that academia is long behind me, from both the student and the teaching sides, it feels as if I've lost a spark or passion and am just holding my own.

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WILSONWR 5/13/2013 1:17PM

    Now that's a coach with an innovative solution. I really like it!

As a naturally competitive person myself, I like solutions that still allow kids to excel without "punishing" them for being good!

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CAALAN23 5/13/2013 12:04PM

    That is one awesome coach that DGS#5 has! It's sometimes hard to find that level of coaching in a rec league. And congrats to all the little ones for having such drive and spirit!

I am not competitive in that sense that I am in races but in the sense that I should see results for effort. In a war with myself so to speak, LOL, what else is new?

I do love your blogs, I look forward to them. Keep it up!
Tina

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PMRUNNER 5/13/2013 11:27AM

    How do you strike the balance between wanting them (and you) to strive for the best they can do, but then be a gracious winner/loser at the end and not let their self worth be determined by the result. Working with my kids on that right now with mixed results. Great solution for the soccer coach, sounds like a good way to improve his game and to help elevate the play of his teammates too.

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BOILHAM 5/13/2013 11:16AM

    Winning is such a relative thing.

I like to win, but am not upset when I don't. Years ago, I had a garage full of car show awards and trophys. Funny, how they got dusty and eventually thrown away, yet each gave a rush of excitement at the time of 'winning'. I might have learned a lesson from that. Now I have a rack full of running bling. Different times and goals for me. I like to look at them, but I quickly got to a point that I don't pursue them as actively.

Now my reward/win is finishing a satisfying run. I don't need the validation of a ribbon or plaque. I feel like I won something every single time I return home after a run.

On the other hand, I have a professional athlete in my family who is undefeated in his sport - as a professional. Talking to him, anything short of a win is unacceptable.
He expects to win every time he enters the ring as an MMA fighter.



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DR1939 5/13/2013 10:30AM

    Wasn't he lucky to have a coach like that.

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SLENDERELLA61 5/13/2013 9:52AM

    Very astute observations! Interesting blog, especially for this adult onset athlete who loves the bling, but is a bit embarrassed by how much she likes the awards!! It's like a guilty pleasure. Could be worse, I suppose. -Marsha

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COCK-ROBIN 5/13/2013 9:10AM

    Beautiful!

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DOVESEYES 5/13/2013 8:56AM

    I really wanted the weight to fall off in a hurry and had to come to terms with the fact that I wanted to go back to eating the wrong things. It was a 'light bulb moment' for me and now I don't really care how long it takes as long as it happens and when I get to the goal I put as much effort into maintenance.

Great blog thanks...

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KANOE10 5/13/2013 8:26AM

    I spent the weekend eating out at restaurants and have the same up pounds on the scale. So I am with you on dealing with this short term problem..doing the long term ..do it again anyway..to get it down and maintain.

Interesting solution for you grandson. Hope it developed his skills.

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Plus..we have to keep our parole officer happy, don't we? LOL.

Comment edited on: 5/13/2013 8:27:38 AM

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DAISYBELL6 5/13/2013 8:18AM

    Your comment about doing it all over again day after day really hit home with me this morning. Despite my short term goal of losing another 10 pounds which I have focused on TOO MUCH, I need to keep my eye on the prize--a lifetime of healthy eating and activity for a healthy life. Ten pounds is not the goal....Living life is!

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GINIEMIE 5/13/2013 7:29AM

    I love the coaches solution to DGS#5's soccer playing time. It's so fair to all, and it helps him be a better team mate and improve the use/control of his left foot. What a good coach. I'm sure that team is a winner, and I'm not talking scores either.

I'm competitive too, I think being the eldest of 10 and having #4, my sister, be a brainiac made me look for what I was good at. So I excelled in child care, baking and did okay with cooking too. Later I developed more skills, but those helped me with my five children. BTW I'm the only one of the 10 who had five children.
I sewed, knitted and learned to crochet. In my younger days I entered my handiwork and baked goods in the county fair. My DD's chocolate cake came in first and mine second, we were in different categories but it gave her a thrill too.
I think truth be known we all want to win at something-it is good to temper it with fair and good judgement.
Nice blog-I know you'll drop that Mother's day weight. I have to work on mine too.
Ginie
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NANNABLACK 5/13/2013 7:21AM

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ONEKIDSMOM 5/13/2013 7:21AM

    I think I love your DGS#5's coach. What a GREAT solution.

As for competition... for those of us it is "wire in" to, we have to find ways to live with it. I, too, am in for the long-term W... a healthy life.

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