Wednesday, October 09, 2013
Well, of course, I did not get out of the 260s last week. I haven't lost a friggin' ounce actually... I've hit a plateau. Is that even normal to have happen every few pounds? I thought that only happens when you lose more like 50 lbs. I'm still exercising every day, staying in my nutrition ranges, and taking my metformin. Also, in the last week, my blood sugar started dropping during workouts and I haven't quite figured out how to stop it. Thank you, PCOS.
Basically, I should have just kept my mouth shut (haha). But hey - I PERSEVERE!
A little discouraged this week because I am going on my first DATE date in over a year on Sunday (gasp!), and I really wanted to lose a few more pounds for it... I've also been absolutely terrified all week.
I'm sure stress can hinder your loss... but I highly doubt with all the exercise I'm doing that it would completely prevent it. Just gotta keep barreling through. And if the date doesn't go well, I guess I'll cross that emotional eating bridge when I come to it.
On a positive note, my parents are taking me to a Casting Crowns concert on Saturday for my birthday.... Definitely looking forward to it!
I'm hoping for at least a one pound loss by Sunday... *sigh*
Sunday, September 29, 2013
First, let me apologize for not being very active in the Spark community.... I've been SO VERY BUSY! I promise I have not fallen off the bandwagon; in fact, its been quite the opposite. As of today, I am 24 pounds down (10 lost in the last month!) and have had a lot of other NSVs. I am doing great on my exercising, too! I walked 3 miles this morning and have been keeping up with a regular walk/run routine 3-4 times a week. See? I told you I haven't fallen off the bandwagon! ;)
The best part? I've been noticing the changes in myself. My clothes fit better, I feel more energized and confident, I am starting to choose healthier options and smaller portions and *gasp* I don't even feel like I'm depriving myself, my cravings are becoming less and less frequent. I am feeling like I'm breaking away from a prison I've held myself in for 23 years. I feel free. Now if I could only get my self-esteem back...
Possibly even better than seeing these changes in myself is finding out that other people are starting to see the fruits of my extremely strenuous labor too. Today I went to my grandparent's for lunch with my family for the first time in nearly a month. My aunt hugged me, and one of the first things she said to me was, "Look at you, you've lost weight! You're looking great. Keep up the good work!"
What a WONDERFUL FEELING it was to hear those words! I know I'm nowhere near where I want to be physically, mentally, or emotionally... but I finally feel like I'm on the right track... and STAYING there! And who knows, maybe one day I'll be able to run more than a minute at a time without feeling like my lungs are going to explode.
I hope all of you are well, and again - I really apologize for my lack of involvement. I will be trying my best to get on here a little more frequently, but the 22-month race to the finish line for my BS in Psychology is in progress!
Monday, July 15, 2013
I started walking after doing absolutely nothing for quite a while.... I started with a mile a day, then increased to two, and got up to two and a half at 3.2 mph but then my knee really started to hurt... Now I can't do anything!! I rested it the latter half of last week and most of the weekend, but today it still hurts. I've been icing it at night, just took some advil today, and am trying to stay off it best I can.... Last night I was doing some housework so I may have aggravated it, but I really thought it'd be better by now. When I go up stairs, it feels like its crackling/popping.
A friend of mine who runs frequently said when he started track the first time he had the same problem and it ended up being an overuse thing and just to rest/ice it.
Also, I hurt this knee while snowtubing when I was younger, so its a little more sensitive than my right knee...
Has anyone had a similar problem? It definitely feels like a muscle thing, but I just wanted to see if I can get a ballpark time until the pain goes away and I can go walking again. Also, how did you start from nothing to regular exercise? I felt fine doing it, but I guess my knee had another opinion.
Any help is very much appreciated.....
Sunday, July 07, 2013
I love animals. LOVE THEM. I have a particular soft spot for dogs. My sister has a chocolate lab puppy (I call him my four-legged nephew) who is the HAPPIEST dog I have ever met. When I was over on Saturday for the 4th of July cookout, I went in to visit the puppy. I asked him to give me "paw" and he happily obliged. After praising him with a "GOOD BOY!" and head pat, I gave him a treat.
Then I had an epiphany.
I am not a dog.
How did I come to have this epiphany? Well, you see, I have this nasty habit of thinking to myself "Congratulations Brooke, you did so well this week that you get to have this extremely high sugar/fat/carb/absolutely-nutrient-lacking meal as a reward!"
Oh yes, you read it correctly. I reward myself with FOOD. Bad food at that. I AM NOT A DOG. Because apparently unhealthy food is the reward for eating good food all week. The irony isn't lost on me.
I'm sorry, I'm still trying to get my head around this:
I give myself treats. Like a dog. BAD GIRL!
How many other people struggle with this? I know I'm not alone!
So here's a thought. Maybe we should take that money we would use to eat unhealthy food and sock it away for a nice, well-earned vacation or a new outfit when our other ones get too big to wear. Even a new haircut or color when we reach a mini-goal is sufficient. Its important to reward yourself for sticking to your routine and achieving your goals. My point is, don't reward yourself with food.
You are not a dog.
Thursday, July 04, 2013
PHEW! The past 5 days have been HECTIC! I'm so sorry to all my Spark friends - I haven't been very active the last few days aside from tracking my food/fitness and the comment/email when I can, but I'm hoping next week will be much better!
Saturday and Sunday I wrote about the funk I was in... luckily it passed after spending some time with my family - playing with the babies of the family always helps! Kids are so sweet!
Even feeling as awful as I did during the weekend, I stayed within my goals. I was very proud of myself! I didn't resort to emotional eating like I would have 1-2 years ago when my depression was at its worst either, so I'm celebrating that win!
Monday and Tuesday I worked 16 hour days... Monday I didn't bring enough food and had to resort to vending machine food - BLECK! Disappointed with myself but I made decent choices and still was able to stay within goal. YAY!! :)
Yesterday was the last day before the holiday at work, so it was the most insanely stressful, problem-ridden, HELLISH day imaginable. My brain kept saying, "I need to eat something," and I'd be rummaging in my purse for some change for something from the vending machine and then my body would kick in and say, "No you don't, put the purse away!" It was the first time I've ever actually felt like emotionally eating since I re-started my journey in the beginning of June, and it was the first time I was able to talk myself out of it. ANOTHER PROUD MOMENT - YAY!
Today I woke up and walked past the mirror and wondered who the girl with the waistline was. HA! I'm feeling great! :)
Going to my mom's today to help set up for the barbecue on Saturday. She's put me in charge of desserts (I'm a baker and my family requests my cakes/cupcakes for every occasion lol) - so I'll be working on that the next few days: Blueberry Cheesecake Cupcakes and Pina Colada Cupcakes with Malibu Rum Frosting. The blueberry cheesecake cupcakes aren't exactly diet friendly, but the Pina Colada cupcakes and icing are only 250 calories if you average it out. I'll post pics on Saturday once I'm finished!
My Nanny is making homemade spaghetti with meatballs tonight. I love her spaghetti, and I've been invited to stay for dinner (she lives with my parents). She has stage 4 lung cancer and we don't know how long we will have with her... I gre up on her cooking and let me tell you - she is one of the BEST cooks (second only to my mom!) and I'm certainly not passing up a meal made my her! I love her so much, and when she sees you eat her food, she's so very happy lol.
Don't worry - I already have it preplanned in my nutrition tracker and I'm still under my calories for the day. I'm safe!
Well, I'm off! Once again, I'm so sorry to the friends who've left such supportive comments, goodies, emails, etc that I haven't had a chance to get back to yet - you are all so wonderful and I appreciate SO MUCH the support I have on here! I'll be back to my frequent "sparking" once things calm down in the next couple of days.
Have a wonderful 4th of July everyone!
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