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No Middle Ground

Saturday, July 23, 2011

So I'm sitting here reading the message boards. Many of the posts are about people struggling to stay on program. I know that place so very well. There are times that I eat and eat until I feel (and LOOK) like I'm about to give birth. Then I go and look for something else to eat.

And then there are days like yesterday and today when I am in total control. I'm a food snob, deeming everything unworthy of my WW points. I'm a miser, saving my priceless points for only the best tasting, most satisfying, and hopefully nutritious, fare. Which, of course, I don't happen to have on hand.

But there is no middle ground for me. I just want to be "normal" in my eating habits. I want to eat healthy meals and snacks that I enjoy. Regularly. I want portion control to come as naturally as breathing. I want grocery shopping to be enjoyable instead of something I dread as much as a trip to the dentist.

I've been on Spark People for three years, and on Weight Watchers for eight years. I know this is a lifestyle change, not a diet. But when is my lifestyle going to get the memo?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MICHELLE6468 9/5/2011 8:11PM

    Hi Jeannette, you're looking great! And when we were chatting last, I was losing the pounds and you were stuck at 170. Now I've put weight back on and am working hard to try to lose it, but haven't been successful. What's your secret?

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JAZZID 8/6/2011 7:23PM

    You are doing an emoticon job and don't you ever doubt that!... I remember when I was giving you advice on eating and here you are motivating and inspiring me to keep at it... Believe in yourself, because I do... emoticon emoticon emoticon ~ Dee emoticon

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JAZZID 8/6/2011 7:22PM

    You are doing an emoticon job and don't you ever doubt that!... I remember when I was giving you advice on eating and here you are motivating and inspiring me to keep at it... Believe in yourself, because I do... emoticon emoticon emoticon ~ Dee emoticon

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    Girl, looking at your picture, it looks like the message is getting through! I didn't even recognize you! YOU look awesome!

This is such a mental journey ... as much as it is a physical one. Work it every single day and you will end up with the results you want. It takes time ... a lot of time. But you're making it. You really are!
emoticon emoticon

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JUSTCHELLE75 7/24/2011 11:31AM

    The honesty is refreshing. I'm not anywhere near goal and I always stay on point but sometimes my points are used on empty foods.

I think part of my journey is doing the mental work to break up with my old emotional eating scars, it's been hard but I know for me actually dealing with my sadness or happiness, frustration or anger and not turning to food has actually made me communicate with people and myself better.

However, each journey that a person takes that the your mental eating aspect may be much different than mine. I would suggest when you are having that "Eat everything in site day" that you take a look at what you are thinking and feeling and see if there is something you are suppressing,

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DEIDRA55 7/23/2011 5:12PM


If I may be so bold, the lifestyle has already gotten the memo. You are still here fighting the good fight--evidence that you are in this for the long haul and determined to see the victory finish line. Part of the journey is the love/hate relationship with the biggie--FOOD! Finding the happy medium is what it's all about. And nobody--NOBODY--has reach the absolute Promised Land with that one! Those who persevere and are determined reach the place where they are able to peacefully coexist with that relationship--and you have done, are doing, and will do this. You keep going strong. And, thank you for writing such a real entry to which so many can relate. :)

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Losing Focus

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Lately, I find myself struggling on my journey. It is getting too easy to blow off my workouts-both the independent ones and the ones with my personal trainer. I am also eating ridiculous amounts of food. Mostly junk food, but really anything & everything. Well, except fruits and veggies. Don't know why I never binge on those.

I don't know what to do. I go to my WW meetings and listen to everyone talk about the success they are having. The funniest thing yesterday was hearing how people DON'T want to eat after a strenuous workout! There must be something wrong with me. That's when I want to eat the most! And I give myself permission to eat whatever I want.

I want to say that I don't have anyone to support me. But that's not true. There are many people in my real life and online who would do anything to help me reach my goals. I think the problem is that I don't ask for help because I don't know what anyone can do to help me. It's up to me to control my eating. It's up to me to stop making excuses for skipping workouts. I'M the one who will be to blame if I gain back all of the weight I lost. Why am I OK with that possibility?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAZZID 3/26/2011 12:00AM

    It's been proven that exercise does stimulate appetite, so this is nothing strange... The key is to find healthy things to eat, but you already know this... I am struggling with phases of eating great, then sabotaging all of my efforts in one day by binge eating... still trying to figure it out after all this time, weird, huh!

Just keep trying to do the best you can, that's what I am trying to do...

Hang in there... you have made emoticon progress...

emoticon ~ Dee emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/26/2011 12:00:40 AM

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SPARKDAGMAR 3/5/2011 2:05PM

  Hang in there. As we all know, this isn't easy. I think about Oprah, and other people who have any resources available to them, and they struggle too.

I'd encourage you to look inside to find out whats taking you away from your goal. Or is there something that you can visualize that can make you focus crystal clear on your goal. or maybe the goal needs to be altered for now. It's not about the number, it's about how you feel and being healthy and picking a different goal, like eating a certain number of vegetable servings a day. And then one day again that drive will return and you can say "I'm ready".

So stop, don't think about what you did yesterday or last week or last month if it was against your goals. Start right now, and get back in the game.

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MALEXANDER4 2/2/2011 3:25AM

    Stop right there. Enough. You have come so far and will continue to succeed. I'm in your "real life". I'm not a figment of your imagination. We decided a long while ago that we would meet at the finish line. Do this together. Now i'm not perfect, oh I have my "moments" that last a long time. I'm close to goal, i'm a few pounds up, im close, im up. I fear reaching it I think. Or maybe I get to cocky and think "this is easy, I can do this" and then wham i'm up again. Planning is key for me. I had to quit ww because of the cost. I have my books and my calculator, all I need to reach my goal if I try. For me trying is the hard part. If you would like you can send me mail daily and I will keep up, we are going to do this together. One day we will reach the finish line and be there standing side by side to show the world it can be done. This isn't about the physical as much as the mental i'm learning. emoticon

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No, I'm not sick. I'm healthier than I've been in a long time!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

I've been losing weight in dribs and drabs for the past two years. It is finally starting to show! I should be happy about this, right? So why do I feel so self-conscious? Oh, because people assume there must be something wrong with me. Not everyone, mind you. Well, even if everyone IS thinking it, only SOME of them are rude enough to say it to my face. If I WAS sick enough to have lost 20+ lbs, do they really think I'd confide in them?

I don't mind the comments like, "Wow, your arms look great!" I've been working on them forever, but now the protective coating that's been wrapped around them is beginning to melt away, and you can see the muscle definition. Even, "What, are you on a diet or something?" isn't TOO bad. It's not a diet, but the general public still has that mentality. Can't fault them. Just please keep the "What's the matter with you?" for people lying in hospital beds. I'm as fit as a fiddle!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to the gym.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAZZID 12/24/2010 12:12AM

    emoticon... starting my program on January 2nd... Wish me luck!... emoticon on the weight loss and reaching your goal, I am proud of you, but I knew you "could" and "would" do it!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

~ Dee emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/24/2010 12:13:02 AM

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MALEXANDER4 12/11/2010 7:01PM

    You go the gym that is. what do those fools are looking great.

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HUMMINGBIRDFLY 12/11/2010 5:45PM

    I know what you mean. When I got close to goal weight, I started getting the "How much MORE are you going to LOSE??" comments. Those who know me are getting accustomed to seeing the new, improved me and the questions and comments have subsided.

Keep taking such good care of're soooo worth it!!

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Disappearing Acts

Sunday, November 07, 2010

Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE the fact that I can fit into size 10 jeans again! I had pretty much given up hope in that department. I love the compliments that I get from friends, family, and coworkers. I love my trainer's new nickname for me~ "Skinny." I love my increased strength and endurance at the gym, and even the ability to carry groceries to my 4th floor walk-up without stopping to gasp for air. I love when my 17 year old admires my muscles and calls me brolick. OK, I have no idea how to spell that, but he said it means built or muscular.

But...I am a little unsettled at the fact that I can touch my thumb and ring finger around my wrist. Can the pinky be far behind? I can feel my hip bones. Where did they come from? I didn't even realize they were missing until I found them again! I can see the waistband of my unmentionables. WHILE I'M WEARING THEM! I had to buy a smaller bra. Not cool! I was not all that well-endowed to begin with. Even my shoes are getting baggy.

WW meetings help you along the weight loss journey, but I've never seen "adjusting to your changing body" as one of the topics. Isn't this just as important as surviving Halloween?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOAN_HEO 11/27/2010 1:28PM

    What a wonderful place to be!!! Congratulations on rediscovering yourself...literally! It's a great feeling, isn't it? I love laying in bed in the morning and feeling my ribs. They've been buried for years! =)

Revel in all of those things and be sure to savor those amazing feelings.

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JAZZID 11/25/2010 9:19PM

    Good for you... I am so looking forward to what you are doing through now... you don't even want to go back!...

Keep up the good work... you have inspired me, now how about that!

Luv ya!... ~ Dee emoticon

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    I'm loving having baggy pants that I can now wear only at home, having a lot less junk in the trunk, and tucking in shirts when I want. Like Michelle's the new and improved versions of us and don't we look good!

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    I hear ya! That woman looking back from the mirror must be me ... I'm the only one home! But she's so much smaller than I think that I am. No two ways about it, it takes sooooo much mental work to get it all figured out. Glad you are working on yours too!

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MALEXANDER4 11/7/2010 2:45PM

    Oh I so hear and feel what your going through. I used to have stretch marks on my belly, one day there for twenty years the next gone, vanished. I have this thing in my calves, they call it muscle, who'd a thunk it, me built. When we begin this journey we know what we want at the end, we just never really believe it will happen and then when the changes occur we, me, have to stop and take a long look in the mirror, who is that looking back......wait it is the new and improved us. YOur getting there. You are succeeding, doesn't it feel great?

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Satisfied vs. Full

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

What does that even mean? I'm not satisfied UNLESS I'm full. My WW leader swears there's a difference. I smile and nod, wanting to believe him. Then I eat until there's no room left. And I'm satisfied.

If I could stop before my eyes roll back in my head, I'd probably get to goal a lot faster. I might not even have to spend so much time on the elliptical.

I just don't know the secret.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MALEXANDER4 10/13/2010 11:59AM

    OMG, this is how i'm feeling. It is taking me forever to reach goal. I see others just sliding through like it was nothing. Why? I eat right, most of the time, I make wise choices, sometimes. Wait I see a pattern here. lol. We are going to arrive in our own time to our goals. Lets enjoy the moment.

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