Saturday, July 23, 2011
So I'm sitting here reading the message boards. Many of the posts are about people struggling to stay on program. I know that place so very well. There are times that I eat and eat until I feel (and LOOK) like I'm about to give birth. Then I go and look for something else to eat.
And then there are days like yesterday and today when I am in total control. I'm a food snob, deeming everything unworthy of my WW points. I'm a miser, saving my priceless points for only the best tasting, most satisfying, and hopefully nutritious, fare. Which, of course, I don't happen to have on hand.
But there is no middle ground for me. I just want to be "normal" in my eating habits. I want to eat healthy meals and snacks that I enjoy. Regularly. I want portion control to come as naturally as breathing. I want grocery shopping to be enjoyable instead of something I dread as much as a trip to the dentist.
I've been on Spark People for three years, and on Weight Watchers for eight years. I know this is a lifestyle change, not a diet. But when is my lifestyle going to get the memo?
Saturday, December 11, 2010
I've been losing weight in dribs and drabs for the past two years. It is finally starting to show! I should be happy about this, right? So why do I feel so self-conscious? Oh, because people assume there must be something wrong with me. Not everyone, mind you. Well, even if everyone IS thinking it, only SOME of them are rude enough to say it to my face. If I WAS sick enough to have lost 20+ lbs, do they really think I'd confide in them?
I don't mind the comments like, "Wow, your arms look great!" I've been working on them forever, but now the protective coating that's been wrapped around them is beginning to melt away, and you can see the muscle definition. Even, "What, are you on a diet or something?" isn't TOO bad. It's not a diet, but the general public still has that mentality. Can't fault them. Just please keep the "What's the matter with you?" for people lying in hospital beds. I'm as fit as a fiddle!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to the gym.
Sunday, November 07, 2010
Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE the fact that I can fit into size 10 jeans again! I had pretty much given up hope in that department. I love the compliments that I get from friends, family, and coworkers. I love my trainer's new nickname for me~ "Skinny." I love my increased strength and endurance at the gym, and even the ability to carry groceries to my 4th floor walk-up without stopping to gasp for air. I love when my 17 year old admires my muscles and calls me brolick. OK, I have no idea how to spell that, but he said it means built or muscular.
But...I am a little unsettled at the fact that I can touch my thumb and ring finger around my wrist. Can the pinky be far behind? I can feel my hip bones. Where did they come from? I didn't even realize they were missing until I found them again! I can see the waistband of my unmentionables. WHILE I'M WEARING THEM! I had to buy a smaller bra. Not cool! I was not all that well-endowed to begin with. Even my shoes are getting baggy.
WW meetings help you along the weight loss journey, but I've never seen "adjusting to your changing body" as one of the topics. Isn't this just as important as surviving Halloween?
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
What does that even mean? I'm not satisfied UNLESS I'm full. My WW leader swears there's a difference. I smile and nod, wanting to believe him. Then I eat until there's no room left. And I'm satisfied.
If I could stop before my eyes roll back in my head, I'd probably get to goal a lot faster. I might not even have to spend so much time on the elliptical.
I just don't know the secret.
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