BRIGHTEYES86   1,149
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Lack of motivation...

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

I am so ashamed of my body. I've gotten so out of shape over the past few years. I've made many attempts to eat healthy and exercise, but I have had a lot of setbacks. Some have been health problems that I could do nothing about. Other times, temporary setbacks and minor failures were enough to destroy all of my motivation. I have given up and then started over again so many times that I've lost count. Something has to change. What do you guys do when you feel like you are losing your motivation to work out/eat healthy? I really need some help!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRIGHTEYES86 3/1/2014 2:39PM

    Thank you all for your words of encouragement! I appreciate it. It is nice to know that there are people out there who have been in my position that have gotten back on track. I believe that I can too. :)

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CLYNNTHOMAS 3/1/2014 9:42AM

    Hi Brighteyes! I would like to encourage you on this journey.... please let me know how I might pray for you along the way!
God Bless You

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SPICEMWE 2/27/2014 9:53AM

    I joined a DietBet! You put in $30 and the bet is that you lose 4% of your weight in 4 weeks. If you lose, you're out $30. If you win, you split the pot with the other winners! Simple enough, right?

It was enough to keep me motivated. I'm today that I find out how much money I win!

www.dietbetter.com

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PATTYR81 2/27/2014 9:03AM

    I just read Indygir's blog "What I Do When I'm UN Motivated" and then read your post. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND it!!

http://www.sparkpeople.
com/mypage_public_journal_indiv
idual.asp?blog_id=5632594

Hang in There!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GOLDIEANN85 2/26/2014 8:58PM

    I know that feeling!!! I joined a competition in one of my spark groups. It helps me stay focused and I love a little competition anyway. Tomorrow is a new day. And maybe break down your goals into smaller goals. Like; this week you will drink 10 cups of water and eat a salad each day. Then once you do that you can slowly start adding other goals.

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SHORTSTORY2 2/26/2014 5:06PM

  I'm with you on no motivation. I was doing well walking daily and eating right until it rained for a solid week. Guess that is just an excuse. Time to get busy again.
I joined a challenge on my group Hopeful Hearts and will get back to tracking everything. I know if I use the tools Sparkpeople has I will be successful.
Guess all I can suggest for you is to make tomorrow day one. Forget about the past and just set new small goals that you can achieve easily. Don't stress over the scale. If you need a team to motivate and support you check out mine.
Good luck on your journey. You can do it!!! Eileen

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Jealousy.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

I have a problem. Well, I have lots of problems, but here is the current issue: I canít stand it when my boyfriend looks at other women. Even if itís a fleeting glance, it still upsets me. He is a good guy and he doesnít just stare at other women in front of me, but there are boobs and legs and butt cheeks everywhere, and Iím positive that he sees them and likes what he sees. When we are out in public, I try not to even look at him so I donít see when he looks at other people, especially women. When I do see him look, I hate him. I hate him and I am disgusted by him, but not nearly as disgusted as I am with myself. I donít know how to deal with this. I have spoken with him a few times about my feelings and Iíve told him how intense they have been. He has been kind to me and tried to understand, and says that we can work on it together. However, I feel absolutely horrified and insanely jealous when he glances at another woman so I need to get this under control.

Let me just say that I donít think I am afraid of him leaving me for one of the women he looks at, so saying ďbut he comes home to you,Ē isnít helpful. My thoughts about it may not exactly be logical, but I do realize that heís not trying to leave me for every woman he sees. I just really need help with this. Iím seeing a therapist and Iím going to talk to her about it tomorrow, but I am really torn up about this tonight. Any advice would be welcome.

I posted this last night and got some good feedback but I wanted to post it today so that more people could see and respond. I really do need help so thank you in advance for your advice!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATTYR81 9/12/2013 10:18AM

    I used to be really bothered by that too.

One day, my fav aunt pointed out to me that glancing/noticing/looking (not flat out staring) is something we ALL do. By nature, we are interested in others (at least at an impersonal, high level).

I then realized that I DID notice / look/ glance at others around me all the time. And had thoughts too. Like 'I LOVE her hair cut!/ color! She looks really cute!' or 'That shirt looks really cool on that guy!'

My noticing and random thoughts did NOT mean I wanted to be with that person or even wanted to interact with them in any way. I was just noticing my world. I still do this. I've also started sending out positive thoughts to those who look down/sad/ upset.

Thinking about 'noticing behaviors' in a positive light instead of as a negative reflection on me helped me alot!

I hope this helps....

Happy Day!

Comment edited on: 9/12/2013 10:21:53 AM

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LOVINGAFRICA 9/12/2013 2:41AM

    I am sorry you deleted my comment. If I hurt or upset you in any way, I am really truly sorry.
emoticon
Just talk about it with your therapist, and thank you for sharing your struggles with us. We are here for you too.
Just know that jealousy is very hard to live with, and it will poison your life and relationship.
Wishing you the very best and total victory and happiness!!
Oh Sorry! Misunderstanding!!! I did not read the last paragraph. Good for you to keep your blog current because you need practical help. Hope you find the key for you!!!

Comment edited on: 9/12/2013 2:59:04 AM

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ZOMBIEREADY 9/11/2013 5:22PM

    You might not like this view either, but it's true 90% of the time, especially with someone who's working on weight issues: It sounds like what you're dealing with is a self-esteem problem. Now, I don't know the particulars of your relationship, but if these are "passing glances" as you said, then he's not ogling random strangers. He's seeing what's around him, like he would see a tree or a child with a balloon or a dog.
Perhaps he does find other women attractive. Why does that matter? You are not who you are in comparison to someone else. You are you. He is with you. He cares for you.
Try not to see yourself on some sliding scale beside random strangers. You don't know their stories. You don't know what they look like without their makeup, without their clothes, without your own self-esteem in between. You are beautiful. Not beautiful compared to, not beautiful aside from. YOU are beautiful.
I recommend along with your therapy that you do some light reading on Zen philosophy. It's helped me a lot with my self-esteem and accepting myself as I am on this part of my journey. I am not the beautiful girl I was before I gained the weight, I am not the beautiful girl I will be when the weight comes back off, I am the beautiful girl I am right now as I walk the path of my life. I'm able to be naked in front of my husband with the lights on for the first time in a long time because of I'm learning not to make judgments on what is, for me or anyone else.

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Jealousy.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

I have a problem. Well, I have lots of problems, but here is the current issue: I canít stand it when my boyfriend looks at other women. Even if itís a fleeting glance, it still upsets me. He is a good guy and he doesnít just stare at other women in front of me, but there are boobs and legs and butt cheeks everywhere, and Iím positive that he sees them and likes what he sees. When we are out in public, I try not to even look at him so I donít see when he looks at other people, especially women. When I do see him look, I hate him. I hate him and I am disgusted by him, but not nearly as disgusted as I am with myself. I donít know how to deal with this. I have spoken with him a few times about my feelings and Iíve told him how intense they have been. He has been kind to me and tried to understand, and says that we can work on it together. However, I feel absolutely horrified and insanely jealous when he glances at another woman so I need to get this under control.

Let me just say that I donít think I am afraid of him leaving me for one of the women he looks at, so saying ďbut he comes home to you,Ē isnít helpful. My thoughts about it may not exactly be logical, but I do realize that heís not trying to leave me for every woman he sees. I just really need help with this. Iím seeing a therapist and Iím going to talk to her about it tomorrow, but I am really torn up about this tonight. Any advice would be welcome.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STR458 9/12/2013 7:51AM

    while he's looking at her, look over your shoulder, there's another guy looking at you! and his wife is looking past her shoulder at the guy sneaking a look at her...on and on and on ..... emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/12/2013 7:52:19 AM

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MAIZEY 9/11/2013 8:10AM

    Already lots of great advice here so I don't have a lot to add but I hope that you can work through this so that you are happier. emoticon

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HIDDENRUNES 9/11/2013 7:31AM

    It definitely is an issue you have to work through and learn to accept on your own. It took me a while but I finally figured out that everybody looks, not leers, but glances. Including me. I agree witht the previous commenter that we like to appreciate the beauty around us. The other night at the grocery store, a woman was walking in front of my husband in I in tight yoga pants, her butt was amazing. I glanced at my husband and sure enough his eyes were zeroed in. I could have gotten mad and jealous and hurt but I gave myself a second to think..our marriage is strong, he loves me and honestly her butt is awesome. So I just laughed and he looked bashful but laughed too. It could have been un ugly jealous moment but because of my choices it was a funny one. I wish you luck!

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LOVINGAFRICA 9/11/2013 7:11AM

    The problem is that you don't understand a guys mind. I had to learn too. They are visual, and that is how they are programmed. We are verbal- they don't get that either.
So I learnt to tell my guy, look at that truly beautiful woman. Or Wow, her top can't really be smaller, can it? That takes the emotional charge off, guilt for him for something he can't help, and rejection and failure for me. It just becomes a person that we both look at, laugh and move on.
The fun starts when guys start looking at you, and your understanding husband who knows they don't mean anything with it, starts strutting around because you are his girl.

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FINALLYHEALTHY2 9/11/2013 3:19AM

    I had the same issue! I am afraid there is not a whole lot that anyone other than yourself can do about this. After going through a lot of counseling myself, I learned the following:

1. That "guys will be guys" which was not very helpful.
2. I have the choice as to how I react to his behavior.
3. My behavior was based on patterns learned as a child or adolescent
4. I have to learn to trust him
5. Much of what I thought was jealousy was actually fear that he would leave me because I did not measure up to the women he was looking at.
6. I need to learn to love me as I am and if I can do that, I will understand why and how he loves me - meaning that there is more to me than a pretty face.
7. I am a pretty spectacular person and that no pretty young thing can compare to what I have to offer - the whole package.

I know I learned much more and continue to learn, but the bottom line is that if you love yourself, it will lessen your jealousy if not get rid of it all together because you do not feel the need to have approval from others and you will recognize that he is not trying to be hurtful. He is truly only doing what comes naturally to all persons - appreciating the beauty all around us.

By the way, I have also learned that I enjoy the sight of men just as much as he likes the sight of women and that just because I look does not mean that I am going to do anything about it.

I hope this is helpful. Give yourself a break and try not to be so hard on yourself. I know that is easier said than done - believe me I know - I fight that battle every day.

Continue with counseling. If you are not making progress with the one you have, find another that will provide greater assistance to you. I had to go through several before I found the one that has been a great help to me.

Good luck with this.

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Need cheap/easy/healthy recipe ideas

Friday, June 28, 2013

My boyfriend and I are trying to eat healthier and I need ideas for meals that are cheap AND easy (I'm not very good at cooking yet). I've looked at sparkrecipies, but I would also like to hear from people what their favorite meals, desserts and snacks are. I do have to be very cheap so please keep that in mind. Thank you in advance!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CORTNEY-LEE 6/29/2013 6:14AM

    check out Hillbilly Housewife - I get a lot of great ideas from that blog.
Skinny Taste
Skinny Ms.
are also great sites.

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LALATIDAH 6/28/2013 5:15PM

    That is wonderful that you and your BF have decided to eat healthier! The first thing you have to do is, as you probably already know or have been told, stop eating fast foods and convenience foods.
When you shop, shop the perimeter aisles - most grocery stores are set up so the produce, meat, dairy & grains (bread) are on the outside aisles of ht store. You will still need items from the center aisles, but only purchase those items that are necessary ingredients in your recipes.
I am online most of the day... for work & pleasure. I spend much of my time sharing SP articles & info with my "friends". I also subscribe to many recipe "outlets" such as AllRecipes.com, Food Network, etc. So I receive a lot of recipes in my email. I share those with my FB Peeps too.
The best place to start your healthy recipe search is right here on SP! They even have a menu planner that is quite easy to use..
The more you cook, the better your skills will become. Even the most gourmet meal can be very simple! If you FB, please come find me at https://www.facebook.com/lalatidah<
BR>I have many cooking "students"!
If you are a Pinterest Fan, come follow me there:
https://www.Pinterest.com
/lalatidah
I have many "foodie" boards there, too!
Good luck! emoticon


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Need ideas for cheap/easy/healthy meals

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

My boyfriend and I are trying to eat healthy on a budget and I need ideas for cheap, healthy meals, snacks and desserts. We eat a lot of chicken and lunch meat... I don't eat much meat so it would be nice to get some vegetarian recipes as well. I'm not very experienced when it comes to cooking and baking, so the easier the better. Thank you in advance! :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

-GETNFIT4ME- 6/26/2013 2:57PM

    My go to easy recipes for dinner that are yummy are:

Stir Fry -

1 cup rice (prepared)
Chicken baked and then cut into cubes
2 cups Frozen veggies (I like the Vegetable StirFry Blend and the Yellow Carrot Stirfry Blend)
2 tbsp low sodium soy sauce

This meal is super easy, quick and extremely filling and cheap

Tacos - I love me some tacos!!! LOL

Ground turkey cooked and mixed with Salsa for flavor (could also be made w/chicken)
Corn Fajita tortillas (the small ones)
Cheese (I usually measure 1-2oz depending on how many calories I have left)
Lettuce
Hot sauce

This is a quick simple meal but very tasty and I love tacos so its a got o for me by using the corn fajitas tortillas I am able to have usually 5-6 small tacos so I feel like I am eating more because there is only 110 calories in 2 of the tortillas.

Start slow and don't give up on your favorite foods just learn healthier ways to make them and measure measure measure that is the biggest key is make sure your measuring your foods and getting as close to accurate calorie counts as possible the rest will fall into place!

Good Luck!


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ETERNAL_FLAME 6/26/2013 1:34PM

    I'm not great in the kitchen either unfortunately, but have you looked at the Spark Recipes section of this site? If you have the time, just browse through and then you can decide for yourself what you think sounds easy to do :) Good luck! E_F x

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