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I May Fall, But I Can Get Up!

Monday, June 11, 2012

Lordy, did I hate that commercial. I mean I may have chuckled the first 1000 times I heard it. "Ive Fallen and I Can't Get Up." Remember it? The parodies. The jokes. They were everywhere. Not quite as bad as that Titanic song, but awful close.

The week before last was a particularly bad week for me. A lot of stress at home and at work. My hormones were going crazy - I am turning fifty in less than two weeks and that's part of the fun.

I had a wild look in my eye, like a crazed or rabid dog, ready to snap anything that came in my path.

Plus I was gnarly. Gnarly meaning I wanted to eat everything in sight. I had no resolve. I exercised through it all, which was great, but still I felt out of control. I of course gained two pounds which made me feel even better!

I was feeling like I was on a downward spiral. You know the one? The one where no matter what the little voice in you that says "You can do it. Just get back on track again." you don't win. You keep spiraling downward, or upward in this case. The I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up cycle.

Well, I'm here to say that you can listen to that little voice and you can get back up and on track. I took my chill pill which really helped, believe me. Suddenly the wicked witch melted away and I appeared again - maybe still a little wild eyed but not nearly as scary. Like someone said before, the pill exorcised me and I exercised my body. A lot. I walked. Did my boot camp videos. Worked in the garden until I was huffing and puffing. I even hula hooped. I breathed deep breaths. Continued to make healthy meals. Didn't sweat the mishaps and lo and behold I lost the two lbs again, plus 2.6 more this week.

It felt so good to get past the hurdle. I can eat a chocolate cayenne Mexican cookie (really good btw) and still continue my lifestyle.

Oh, and I like exercise! Not gym exercise, and I have to admit doing the Boot Camp DVD can be a bit of a chore, but getting outside for a brisk walk is something I love! I put on some Latin Dance music and look like a lunatic while walking the dogs. I hula hoop until I'm out of breath and laugh with my daughter as we're trying to keep the damn thing going for more than 10 seconds. Who knew I'd be better than my size 2 daughter? Guess the hoop has more to hang on to. I'm in the garden digging, and weeding and moving plants from one garden to the next. It's great! I'm exhausted, happy and burning calories.

That is exercise to me.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LKG9999 6/15/2012 3:02PM

    I haven't hit this point yet, but bet that I will in the not-too-distant future. When I do, I'll re-read this blog and the wise words of someone who's BTDT. Good for you for working through it!

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FITMAMA4EVER 6/12/2012 10:31AM

    Great job! Great perserverance! Keep knocking down that wicked witch, my fellow Canadian girl! Have a great day!

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ECOAGE 6/11/2012 5:18PM

    emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/11/2012 5:19:00 PM

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KATHRYN1955 6/11/2012 1:05PM

    Several days ago, I came across a quote by Confucius...."Our greatest glory is not never falling, but getting up every time we do." I think I will adopt that as my new motto!! I tend to learn more from my so-called failures than I do from the obvious successes. Congratulations to you for breaking out of that spiral...we come out stronger every time we stare those demons down.
Take care and have a good week.

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MEH50BEWELL 6/11/2012 11:49AM

    I think I'm going to steal your word "Gnarly" That bests describes me today. I feel out of control this past weekend. Since we were at friends I don't like to make my diet a skeptical where I choose meals, places to eat, etc. That led to some awesome food but not great in the calorie department. Glad your wicked witch is gone, yet somehow I don't believe it would be so bad, not if you read your blogs it doesn't seem possible. LOL Have a great week - countdown is so close.

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JERZEYFRESH 6/11/2012 10:56AM

    You inspire me every day! I really think I'm going to have to get a hula hoop!! Luv you, Canadian girl!!

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SPARKFRAN514 6/11/2012 10:38AM

    emoticon we can do this we all need to be like the TV ad and get up and keep going its not and easy trail to hike on some days. be staking on step at a time is the best we can do. keep up the great job don't think that the gym has all the answers you have some great ideas yard work walking the hula hop never thought of that on i even have one in my basement. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DARWHOHOO 6/11/2012 7:17AM

    Cayla this is an awesome blog. You have really helped me continue along my journey to not give up!! Thank you oh so much.

Congrats on getting back up on that horse and not kicking the evil voice out of your control room!!

Thanks again for this


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I've never been perfect - and I'm still not.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Late in the evening I screwed up. I got into the peanut butter. My nemesis. I felt awful as soon as I was done. In the middle of the night I woke up and realized that I was stressed about life at home and what I was going to do. I was hurting a bit and made myself hurt more.

I'll be damned if that old habit is coming back. Me. The couch. A jar of peanut butter and a spoon. I realized where it came from. Said 'enough' again and moved on. I refuse to beat myself up for stuff like this because I am learning, starting anew. A different pathway. Yes I went over my calories for the day. Oh well. 2 Tbsp of peanut butter is not going to wreck anything. Its just 2 Tbsp of peanut butter. I am worth more than that.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DUSTYPRAIRIE 5/30/2012 7:54PM

    Sometimes we have to give in to a craving. Please don't beat yourself up - it's not like you ate the whole jar!

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MEH50BEWELL 5/30/2012 6:05PM

    oh I Love that peanut butter too. In anything, on anything, even just the spoon. I do treat myself about once a week with a chocolate rice cake with 1 tablespoon of peanut butter on it. Boy is that good. Like a big reese cup. Great job stopping at 2 tbsp. I'm sure that says a lot. Good for you!! Move on you shall.

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BLUE42DOWN 5/30/2012 4:40PM

    Hehe, I'm with Ecoage on the 2 Tbsp really not being a big screw up. I remember spoon and peanut butter jar equating to half the jar gone before I stopped scooping. And I wasn't even eating out of emotions or stress - just snacking non-stop.

emoticon on recognizing the root cause and making the decision to forgive yourself and move forward!

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LKG9999 5/30/2012 3:43PM

    2 tablespoons does not a trend make. Good for you for recognizing that!

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PARKERCM 5/30/2012 2:44PM

  And you got some protein and some "good" fat!!

And a lesson--don't ever forget that!

I like my peanut butter with brown sugar--so it could have been worse, if you were me!!

Make today yours.

Here's to "100 days of summer." emoticon

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ECOAGE 5/30/2012 1:31PM

    Do you really think 2 tablespoons of peanut butter = screwing up? Do NOT beat yourself up.

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This is the day ...

Monday, May 21, 2012

This morning I had the angel/devil on my shoulders. I have a real battle on my hands. I have lost weight and am starting to look more normal. As soon as I get to this point I want to start hurting my progress.

This is the day that I tell those thoughts to BACK OFF! This is the day that I eat under control. This is the day that I log into Spark and get stick to my routine. This is the day that I break through the wall and keep moving forward. This is the day that I go for my walk even though it's pouring in rain.

This is the day. Its an important day.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LILYPAD12311 5/23/2012 6:40PM

    THAT'S THE SPIRIT !!!! I am so darn proud of you BrennaGirl,,,, that is the exact same thing that I do ..... I reach a goal and then start "celebrating" by eating too much... or sabotaging my success....OMG! emoticon

Break though that wall and walk on by girl,,,, I also believe in you ,,, you can do it!!! That is one of the toughest things to over come,,,, but if you do it,,, you get one step closer towards your goal. It is MIND over MATTER..... and you are the person in control.... emoticon

You have such a great attitude and you know yourself,,, so I am very proud of you emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/23/2012 6:42:01 PM

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LOVEANANIMAL 5/22/2012 11:41PM

    Yeah to the Angel for having the stronger voice! emoticon

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CORYGIRL42 5/22/2012 5:12PM

    You go girl!! Get that trucker attitude you told me about!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon


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FITMAMA4EVER 5/21/2012 9:00PM

    What a great day! Good for you for telling that devil to Back Off! You are doing a great job!

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MEH50BEWELL 5/21/2012 7:41PM

    You can rock this day. Stay strong. It's 1 day at a time.

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ECOAGE 5/21/2012 7:17PM


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LKG9999 5/21/2012 3:00PM

    Great blog - you keep on keepin' on!

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ALYNNSELLNER 5/21/2012 2:45PM


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SANG1224 5/21/2012 2:38PM

    YES! This is that day! You can do it. You and your health are so worth it! Go go go!!!!

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CHEETARA79 5/21/2012 1:19PM

    I believe in you!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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I'm not Indian - I don't even have dark hair, and still

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

OK, so again with the writing blogs for homework as part of the 100 Days of Summer challenges. Here it is 11:37 pm PST and I'm writing a blog about Butter Chicken because I have to in order to get extra points in the challenge. Can anyone say Com-pet-i-tive?

Like I said in the title, I'm not Indian. Heck my hair is blonde ... at least it is right at the moment. You never know it could change next week. I'm weird that way. And I am turning 50 so I could get into this whole mid-life crisis thing and colour my hair blue or something. But I doubt it. Because in reality if I'm at mid-life that means I have to live to 100, which would be cool and all, but I may be pushing it. I think my time for mid-life crisis is over. Oh well. I'll just stick to mental pause.

But, I digress. So our challenge was to make over a recipe and then blog about it. Something that I used to make a lot of during my decades of fattening myself up like the fatted calf was Butter Chicken. My son loves this so much that he requests it for his birthday dinners - that or my lasagna. When I say I'm making Butter Chicken everyone goes "Yippee". Really they say "Yippee!" Then I do my version of a Bollywood dance (screwing in the ceiling light bulbs) and they roll their eyes and leave. Pfft. No sense of humour.

So here it is as unauthentic blonde chick from Canada as it may be ...

1 Tbsp Oil (divided)
1lb Boneless Chicken Breast chopped in 1" chunks (its better with chicken thighs but we're reducing fat as much as possible)
1 onion chopped
2 Cloves garlic, minced
1 Tbsp Fresh Ginger, finely chopped
2 Tbsp butter, the real thing please. No margarine - that stuff is evil.
2 tsp lemon juice - (like from a real lemon that you cut in half)
1 tsp each Garem Masala & ground Cumin
1/4 tsp Cayenne Pepper (or more to taste ... yes please)
1 Cup Tomato Sauce
1 Cup Fat Free Evaporated Milk
1/4 Cup Plain Low Fat Yogurt

S&P to taste

Heat 1 tsp of oil over med/high heat in a large sauce pan and cook the chicken until lightly browned. Remove chicken and set aside.

Heat the remaining oil in same pan. Saute onion, garlic and ginger until soft and fragrant (in other words you can smell it). Stir in the butter, lemon juice and spices. Cook stirring for one minute. Add the tomato sauce and continue cooking for another 2 minutes stirring frequently (think more exercise). Stir in evaporated milk and yogurt. Reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes. (Stirring often - see its turning into a mini workout).

Add the chicken back to the sauce and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 15 mins until sauce has thickened and chicken is cooked through.

Taste and adjust seasonings as necessary. I like to garnish with fresh chopped cilantro.

Great over brown rice. And to show I'm completely unauthentic, I add a side of steamed green beans. Serves 4. I haven't calculated the calories yet.

I reduced the fat by cutting the oil in half. Switching from chicken thighs to chicken breasts (although I dunno about that one), using fat free or low fat evaporated milk instead of cream and a low fat yogurt.

This is not something that you should eat every night of the week. But say Sunday Dinner with the family, go light on the afternoon snack and allow for some extra calories in the evening meal. Enjoy your dinner folks! I know I will be. I'm making this next Sunday I think!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHYLISA 5/20/2012 2:44PM

    That sounds YUMMY ! I would love to try your new healthier receipe ~ good job on the recipe makeover. I am competitive too -- love a good challenge and I am enjoying week 3- B-U-R-G-E-R-S challenge (Thank you very much ) and I even have my Burger Menu planned for tomorrow ! You look great - keep up the good work !

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SAMSLAMA 5/19/2012 3:23PM

    That sounds soooooo yummy...gonna have to try it sometime!

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LKG9999 5/17/2012 12:54PM

    Sounds great. Wish I could get the non-spicy, meat and potato/high carb eaters in my household to try this... sigh.

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JERZEYFRESH 5/16/2012 3:19PM

    this sounds sooooo good, even with all the adjustments to the ingredients! I'm going to have to try this!!

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THEEASYKILL30 5/16/2012 1:49PM

    I tend to hate chicken but this recipe sounds wonderful. I love garam masala. I think I would switch to using chicken thighs though (more flavor, less dry). I struggle to eat enough fat so I don't mind the extra fat that comes from the chicken thighs.

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SANG1224 5/16/2012 11:05AM

    I *am* Indian, and I think you've done a good job with this recipe makeover. Indian food can be hard because traditionally it has a lot of oil in it. Yet, Indian (on the sub-continent) on a whole are very small people. Can anyone say portion control?? This recipe would feed a family of 4 and all the neighbors. Also, we always had a large portion of vegetables along with all our curries. I might also recommend adding a few chopped up small green chili peppers (jalepenos or the thai chilis) if you like it hotter.


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MEH50BEWELL 5/16/2012 9:21AM

    I think I need to add this one to my chicken recipe list. Thanks!

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1CRAZYDOG 5/15/2012 10:17PM

  Hey, I got that gene too! COM pe TI tive!

And everything's bettah with buttah!

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BESEVEN 5/15/2012 12:47PM

    Sounds delish!

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