Thursday, July 19, 2012
It's the middle of summer, and in the evenings to unwind it's fun to watch some TV. Since it's reruns on almost every channel (and our satellite provider is having a much-publicized dispute that prevents Comedy Central from playing), I have some favorite shows on USA that I watch.
One of them is Necessary Roughness, about a therapist who works with (among others) pro athletes for a football team. It's a fun show, and I don't cringe quite so much about the divorce storyline as I used to (still stings with the "your dad just wants you to like him, I have to be your MOM" types of lines).
Last night the episode was about a football player that was overweight, like dangerously not good and maybe unable to play, Of course he sees the therapist, who says things like 'stress causes your body to hold onto resources' and such. Yeah, I can see that.
Anyway, I'm not trying to sell TV time or anything, but watching this episode started me thinking again about my own situation. Sure, there has been stress. I think I've learned lots of great ways to deal with it, and right now school is out for the kids so there is a little less than usual. I should be doing better with my goals and lifestyle choices. I'm still over my ultimate goal weight - I haven't gained (like I said last time), but I'm no longer losing weight. I actually lost a lot more weight back when I was crying myself to sleep at night and missing meals because I couldn't afford to eat. Now that I'm much more content, I'm slipping up. I'm eating too many treats, sleeping in instead of running. Not choosing wisely.
Maybe I need some outside help, a magical TV therapist that can tell me in less than 48 minutes how to fix all my insecurities and everyone will be smiling by the end credits.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Time flies, yes it does :)
I'm on SP daily, or very nearly daily, logging exercise and food and clicking around to earn some points and trying to read what y'all are up to.
My world is in flux, as ever, and this doesn't seem like the time to share too much, but in the very good news department I have moved back home with my family. My focus these last couple months (and the foreseeable future) is to stop causing harm, to try and heal some of the wounds left by my stupidity. I'm under no illusion that it will be easy, or that I can recover anything like what our lives were like before, but at least I'm no longer making things worse. I hope.
As for my health and fitness, I haven't been as careful with what I eat, but I haven't been going overboard either. I've gained and lost two pounds or so every time I step on the scale, so I guess it's officially stuck. I've been running the last three or four months, but have let the strength training go for a bit, something I need to get back in the habit of doing.
I'll try not to go so long without posting next time..
Monday, April 02, 2012
Sometimes, I weigh myself, and if I've gained a pound or so I don't log it here, because I think "Oh, I'll just lose it next week." Sometimes it happens, more often lately it's just wishful thinking.
But I finally realized that hey, no, I'm sorta stuck at my current weight (which is more than where I want to be) so I might as well plug it into spark people so at least I can be honest with myself.
218 today. Even, not 218-point-something. Not a big deal, but more than I was in January (my low was 206-point-something) and more than my stated goal of 200 by the end of the last calendar year. I realize there are people that only have 20 or 30 pounds that they wish to lose, and they might think 18 pounds is a lot, but I started around 290 almost two years ago so 18 doesn't seem like a lot.
(does it bug you that I randomly switch between using numeric and alpha descriptions of my numbers? LOL)
So, yeah, I'm heavier than I want to be, but over the winter I got a little lazy and skipped some runs and some strength training and ate a little birthday cake and maybe some pizza or beer once in a while. And I love to eat, so that's OK, I just gotta manage my portions and timing of these things and start getting back to my salads / veggie dishes. Already I've run more in the last month than I did in about three months prior, so that's a plus. I'll turn my positive (weight gain) into a different positive (losing it again and enjoying that it is gone) soon enough.
If you're still out there reading and commenting, thank you so much for the support; I don't say that enough. I wouldn't be here without y'all.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
I'm not going to deny, this has been a really crappy time for me. The past year or so. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
However, it's life, it happens, things keep going.
I went for a run this morning and thought I'd take a picture after.
Thursday, December 01, 2011
And yeah, I'm thinking of the recent Glee episode (I didn't watch but saw enough commercials) called I Kissed a Girl as I write the title. The actual working title for this post for the last couple weeks, in my mind, was "Failures, Big and Small." I changed it because focusing on failure, especially in the title, seemed to go against the whole spirit of Spark People.
For a long time, over a year and a half, my goal has been to weigh 200 pounds by today. I didn't make it. That is the small failure. It's not a big deal, because I have so many other things I have accomplished over this time; my body is stronger and much thinner than it has been in decades. I am eating much better. I have learned new goal setting skills. The list goes on.
I've been stuck near 210 pounds for some time now. I actually hit 209 back at Halloween, so for five weeks I've been hovering at this weight. I have excuses - I hurt my foot, so I haven't been running; I've been depressed (on an emotional roller coaster, actually) more than usual, which has triggered some emotional eating, some wallowing around instead of exercising, things of that sort.
But to look on the bright side, I dropped to 208 today. That could be a fluke, but it is certainly my lowest recorded weight in the last 10 years. Probably a lot longer. And in spite of the aforementioned pity parties I have had, I haven't GAINED weight; I'm still on my strength training schedule, and my feet feel well enough that I can start running or doing some other aerobics again soon.
I'll still get to 200, just a little behind schedule.
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