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A Piece Of Me.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

When I first started using any mood altering substance, it was to numb the pain. Later, euphoria, because I liked the way it felt. Then it became necessary out of habit because my body became dependent on it. There was the never ending roller coaster ride. I was so caught up that I couldn't see nothing else but the drugs. I thank God for a prayerful mother. Even after her death God was still answering her prayers. He allowed me to go through some things in order to get my attention. Then came the despair. I started to feel again. The drugs wasn't having their numbing effect anymore. So I started to pray. I would be walking the streets in the middle of the night crying, praying, asking the Lord to please help me. I would say, Lord I can't do this without you, so please have mercy on me. Lead me, guide me, in your ways. And He heard my cry. It was like he was saying, be patient with me. I will respond as soon as I can.

When I finally got clean, I realized that I had traded one addiction for another because I turned to food. After being clean for 2 and half years and realizing I had allowed myself to get to 305 pounds brought on severe depression. It wasn't long after that that I relapsed and I was in such despair. I didn't have to focus on the weight any longer because I was dropping several pounds a week. The drugs took over. That's the way drugs did me, it took my appetite. But God being the awesome God He is, allowed me to feel every hump and bump of my disease. When you ask God to remove something or take away the desire, He does. So when I started using again, I was forcing something that wasn't there anymore. His mercy and grace saved me again from SELF.

After getting clean again I realized immediately(2/3 months)that I was beginning to gain the weight all over again. Because in my addiction I had loss 77 pounds. So when I got clean in April/2009 I was 227 pounds and in July/2009 I was 260. That's over 30 pounds in 3 months. That's crazy right?

I had a light bulb moment. I realized if I continue on the way I was going, I would surely use again because of depression. I didn't want to live like that any more. I wanted a life free from the use of drugs but most of all I wanted to glorify God in my body. How could I do that when there was no discipline? So I prayed. I said, "God if you can deliver an addict like me from the use of drugs, surely you can take away the desire to over eat. I trust and believe and know that you can and will. Thank you, In Jesus Name".

I've been clean and sober for 8 months now and I've been on this journey to better health and weight close to 5 months. I've had a loss of 32 pounds but I gained 3 back. I'm NOT giving up on me though. When I fall the ONLY option is to get back up and TRY again. I CAN DO IT!!!

If someone asked me how do I get back on the wagon, I would have to say, HONESTY because it keeps me accountable and shines a light on my FAULTS.
If you fall, why lie? The only person you lie to is yourself.

SparkPeople and being a part of a couple of great teams, has played a key role in helping me to reach some of my goals. I still have a ways to go but I AM grateful for the changes I'm starting to see, in ME! What a pretty sight it is!



Some of you already know parts of my story so this is for the ones that don't. I hope it encourages you. Have a wonderful night!
emoticon emoticonand more emoticon~Sabrina

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHAPEE9 12/10/2009 9:56AM

    WTG! Dont give up on u cuz He wouldn't! Keep up the good work and inspiration to others.

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TRINI_TEACH 12/8/2009 6:30AM

    You are an amazing woman. I admire you so much. You are an inspiration in so many ways and I pray God's continued strength to you.

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DESIREDXLOVEO09 12/7/2009 12:27PM

    Wow im proud of you of sticking to this for 8 months now and not giving up and see goes does work with everyone you he just needs time to see how to work with you or slowly show you he is. god bless you hun.

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ISLANDGIRL2013 12/7/2009 9:28AM

    I am so proud of you!
Thanks you for sharing your life with us!

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SLIM.CHICK 12/6/2009 11:37PM

    Sabrina, yes you can and you will realize your dreams as long as you keep trying.
I read somewhere that the difference between try and triumph is a little umph. I thought it was cute and oh so true.
We all have our burdens to carry but we are also given the strength to do it.
Bless you.
emoticon
Kay

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TRAVELNISTA 12/6/2009 10:29PM

    I am so proud of you, 8 months clean and sober is a long time. I know it is a daily battle. You have now added to that battle by conquering your food issues. You are almost to your 6 month Sparkversary. Keep up the great job you are doing! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AUNTBEE6 12/6/2009 9:45PM

    AWESOME!!!!!!!! You have come a long ways. I'm so glad you turned to God. He was there all the time, waiting patiently in line for you to realize just how much you needed Him. Thanks for sharing your BEAUTIFUL testimony!
You said, "When I fall the ONLY option is to get back up and TRY again. I CAN DO IT!!!"
You sure can my sister!
Hugs Auntbee



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TEDYBEAR2838 12/6/2009 9:34PM

    That is such a testimony to the Power of Prayer and the Power of the Lord when we let HIM take over our lives!!

AMEN!

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Let It Go!

Saturday, December 05, 2009

L E T T I N G G O

By T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you; let them walk.. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.. You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something.. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.. It ' s not that I ' m hateful, it ' s that I ' m faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains.......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you.

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge.....

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction... ..

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents

LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude.... .

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him.........

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship. ....

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves.. ....

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed.............

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying ' take your hands off of it, ' then you need to.......

LET IT GO!!!

'The Battle is the Lord's! '



Well I hope this blessed your spirit like it did mine.
Have a Beautiful day!
Hugs~Sabrina



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMMA_BEAR_69 12/6/2009 12:24AM

    Great blog. Thank you for sharing.

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WILLOW49 12/5/2009 9:52PM

    Wonderful blog! Thank you!

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TRAVELNISTA 12/5/2009 8:45PM

    So true! Great blog! emoticon

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TEDYBEAR2838 12/5/2009 2:55PM

    I ALWAYS SAY: LET IT GO AND LET GOD!

emoticon for all your support along this Wonderful Journey to Healthy

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Who Are You Going To Be?

Friday, December 04, 2009

Living Life Fully Daily Meditation.

Today's quotation:

Make small commitments and keep them.
Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic.
Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.-Stephen R. Covey

Today's Meditation:

What am I going to "be"? The answer to this question lies in the many small decisions that I make, day after day, the ones that determine just what kind of relationships that I'll have with other people. Will I be a light that shines for them, or will I be someone who brings them down and keeps them in the dark? With each thing that I decide to say or do, I'm forging the human being that I am, I'm becoming either a light or a judge, a model or a critic. So just what will I decide to be?

What would you like me to be in your life? Would you like me to encourage you or discourage you? Would you like me to build you up or tear you down? Should I stand by you and your dreams, or should I criticize you and them until you give them up in shame or frustration?

And when you know what you would like me to be for you, then you know what other people would like you to be for them. And you'll have a guide for your decision-making when you're faced with reacting to someone else. You'll have a guide that will direct you with each decision that you make in life. If you want to be a light that shines for others, then you have to decide to be a light each time that you're faced with difficult decisions or even easy ones. When you're dead and gone, do you want people to say "I used that person as a bad example, and did everything the opposite," or do you want them to say that yours was a shining example, one that they try to emulate when they make their own decisions?

People need light. You can provide light. It doesn't matter if it's the light of one small candle or a 1,000-watt bulb that can light a huge room. Light is light, and you can share yours and make this world a brighter place.

Questions to consider:
In what ways do you provide light for the world?

What kinds of things might prevent you from sharing your light and encouragement from the world?

What kinds of guides do you use in your decision-making processes?

For further thought:
You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make. Forget your past. Who are you now? Who have you decided you really are now? Don't think about who you have been. Who are you now? Who have you decided to become? Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully.-Anthony Robbins

I hope you ALL will take every opportunity and be a light for someone else today!
Have a great day!
emoticon~Sabrina

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRAVELNISTA 12/4/2009 10:52AM

    emoticon excellent though provoking blog! emoticon

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TEDYBEAR2838 12/4/2009 8:45AM

    We all need to shine where God put us!

Hope you have a super fine Friday

emoticon from the One & Only emoticon

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SIANAN74 12/4/2009 8:32AM

    Love it! Keep up the great work!

emoticon

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NO_SNOW_BODY 12/4/2009 8:25AM

    Great blog Sabrina emoticon

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Dentist Visit.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

I left around 9:00 am and have been back since 1:00 pm. I had a tooth pulled today and it hurt like heck. Please excuse my french but it took Todd(my dental student) 30 minutes to get it out. Once it started to loosen up he says, "No wonder, it has two roots on it". Don't ask me, I don't know what that meant either. Unless it had something to do with the tooth being broken and inside my gum. The pain is starting go away though, thanks to the Ibuprofen 800 ml I already had. He said that they don't give pain meds for 1 tooth extraction. That's crazy right? Anyway, I don't mean to sound ungrateful because I really am. Total estimated fee to do all the work I'm having done is $3,655 and I got a grant worth $4000 so There's MUCH to be grateful for.

I hope and pray that your day is going well and that your evening/night will be even better.
Hugs&Kisses~Sabrina

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRAVELNISTA 12/4/2009 10:34AM

    Oh you poor thing! I hope it feels better soon. What a way not to even worry about night eating that night. That is the only thing positive I can thing about that painful experience. emoticon emoticon

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TEDYBEAR2838 12/3/2009 8:50PM

    thank the Lord for the Grant and hopefully your tooth, or lack thereof, will become less painful and you will be able to sleep.

Join me on the wonderful journey to a HEALTHY 2010 !

WE WILL DO THIS!

emoticon from the one and only emoticon


Letís enjoy the journey and stop to smell the roses!


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SIANAN74 12/3/2009 6:20PM

    Feel better soon!
emoticon

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SKERTSO 12/3/2009 4:47PM

    I hope that you feel better real soon! The dentist is not my favorite person to visit that's for sure.

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Letting Go, and Letting God. Part 2

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

DH came home around 2:00 pm, after being out all night and says, "I wreck the car". He says that it was so foggy and he couldn't see the parked car before he backed into it. The man who car it was, came out and they exchanged insurance info. While he was telling me this, I'm crying because I'm feeling sorry for myself. Then I realized again that this is one of the Devil tactics to break my spirit. Almost immediately, I became his wife and his friend because that's the job that God gave me. A friend is someone who has your back NO MATTER WHAT! If your spouse isn't your best friend, there IS a PROBLEM!

Mark 10:9 says:What God has joined together, let NO man put usunder. I trust that God will work it out. He fixed it for me, I know, He can fix it for DH.

Hugs~Sabrina

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIANAN74 12/3/2009 9:01AM

    All I can say is "Amen" and I am so happy that no one was hurt!
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TRAVELNISTA 12/3/2009 8:00AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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