Wednesday, October 24, 2012
This is a blog I wrote three years ago September 27, 2009. I found SparkPeople in 2007 and at that time I was 305 pounds. I haven't been constant here but the support and encouragement is always here. This is day 6 of me recommitting to change. I am down 5 pounds. YES!!! I CAN do it!!!
It's been a little over 2 months and I'm down 25 pounds. My self-esteem is going up, my stress level is down, and the guilt is starting to go away. I don't know if you can get with that but I'm talking about the guilt you feel when you've just eaten a whole cake or a jumbo pack of cookies etc.. The guilt you feel when you are scheduled for your annual PAP. The humiliation of having to open up and your fatty legs are sagging and ALL your "bidness" is showing. Anyway, my last pap was on July 17. It was a turning point for me because the nurse who did my PAP was having a hard time latching onto my cervix and she says to me,"The bigger you are makes it harder to latch on.". I was already embarrassed and ashamed and her saying that, made me feel worse. Now that I look back on it, I thank God for using Juanita (the RN) that day because it had an effect on the change in my life. I go back to see the doctor next week and I hope Juanita is there so that I can thank her. I know she wasn't trying to be ugly, she was just telling the truth and sometimes the truth hurts and in some instances, it can also heal. The very next day after that happened, I decided to do something about it. I'm not where I want to be but thank God, I'm on my way!
Thanks in advance for stopping by, it means a Lot.
I am truly grateful for the ups and downs.