Sunday, September 27, 2009
It's been a little over 2 months and I'm down 25 pounds. My self-esteem is going up,my stress level is down,and the guilt is starting to go away. I don't know if you can get with that but I'm talking about the guilt you feel when you've just eaten a whole cake or a jumbo pack of cookies etc.. The guilt you feel when you are scheduled for your annual PAP. The humiliation of having to open up and your fatty legs are sagging and ALL your "bidness" is showing. I decided to share this because I wrote about it on my sparkpage but I know most times people don't read those. Anyway,my last pap was on July 17. It was a turning point for me because the nurse who did my PAP was having a hard time latching onto my cervix and she says to me,"The bigger you are makes it harder to latch on". I was already embarrased/ashamed and her saying that,made me feel worse. Now that I look back on it,I thank God for using Juanita(the RN)that day because it had an effect on the change in my life. I go back to see the doctor next week and I hope Juanita is there so that I can thank her. I know she wasn't being ugly,she was just telling the truth and sometimes the truth hurts but in some instances,it can also heal. The very next day after that happened, I decided to do something about it. I'm not where I want to be but thank God,I'm on my way!
Thanks in advance for stopping by,it means a Lot. I hope you all have a lovely day.
LOVE and ~Sabrina