Saturday, October 27, 2012
I received a notice that one of my teams has a new member. I visited Jae_Hennington's SP page to get to know her. I found her SP Page information about her to be very interesting. She talks about life's mountain and must really be worrying about getting old because she referred to how much she hated it several times.
Interesting thoughts about the "Mountain of Life." I have always compared my life journey to a journey west, kind of like the pioneers. Always one more mountain to climb, a new vista at the top, the unknown on the other side. At times struggling for a foothold, at times lazily crossing the flatlands, though possibly a little boring. I looked at the valleys as the down times when times were difficult like grandmother or grandfather or dad's death or my cancer and its return. I looked at the whole journey as an exciting undertaking with risks, and always a sense of expectancy to find out what would happen next and lots of opportunities to help others along the way.
I even had groups of students at school and church do timelines of their life, with time on a horizontal middle line. Then dots above and below the line with absolutely wonder events way above the line and absolutely horrible events toward the bottom. So teenagers might put graduation or getting their driver's license near the top, or breaking up with a boyfriend near the bottom. They then connected the dots showing mountains and valleys.
Jae talks about how time is flying now that she is older. Perhaps that little bundle she is holding is responsible for all of this worry about time left.
For me, sometimes Mondays came around a little too quickly, but I've always looked at my life that I was just one day older, every day. Most times when someone asks my age, I have to do the math or I tell them when I was born and make them do the subtracting. Sometimes in the valleys time seemed to drag too long. Like waiting to finish radiation treatments. Like waiting to lose the desired weight. Now there's something that seemed to happen faster that the speed of light--putting on the pounds while I was taking steroids. My head was spinning. Every Monday I'd go for chemotherapy. Scales first which always registered 1-2 more pounds added. Then the steroid added to the mix to help my body handle the effects of chemotherapy. 70 pounds later, I finally said ENOUGH!! Let's see if I can do this without the steroid.
But I do understand my body not being able to do what it used to do. I was blaming that on all the radiation and chemotherapy. But I think I need to blame it on not taking care of myself, not eating properly. Thinking that I was invincible. I smoked before we knew how horrific its effects were, and had a difficult time stopping once we DID understand the dangers, even with the prescription for nicorette gum and chomping that for a whole year.
I definitely ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I'm still waiting to see how much of that I can blame on the food manufacturers like I blame my smoking and subsequent addiction on the cigarette manufacturers who knew exactly what they were doing.
Well, I'm eating healthy whole foods, being active, losing weight, following doctor's orders, asking questions, searching for answers, and continue to be a child of the 60's. I've even planted a fall garden with LOTS of salad greens, for the first time in my life. Now, I believe harvesting my first salad will be a mountaintop experience.
I am going to work hard to keep on moving and thinking and remembering and contributing and loving. My age has no bearing on those things. I used to equate memory loss with old age. But my middle school students couldn't remember what day it was. We understood each other, even though there was about 3 generations separating us.
How do you look at aging and your life's journey?