Tuesday, January 01, 2013
Today's main goal: wheat free/dairy free. Did it! :)
I have so much to write about, but it's time for bed. I require at least 8 hours of sleep, and I give it to myself. Sleep isn't a negotiable part of my schedule,. Misery is the consequence of less than 8 hours.
So, in the spirit of non-misery, time for bed!
Friday, September 05, 2008
1) Triathlon is so expensive. There are so many COOL things to buy!
2) What is the right combination of carbs and protein and fat?
3) Triathlon is meaningful meaningless.
4)Wow, I guess I really didn't want to write afterall
5) I am IN LOVE with logic puzzles and Crossfit!
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Yes, we all ask this question at one time or another, don't we? Who am I? What am I? My husband said that I must think I am a machine. I must. I am a very high set of expectations, goals, aspirations, MUSTS. I am a spirit not content with mediocracy, although I am there right now. I am a mind that believes in the POTENTIAL of self and others, and that we must aspire to become more than we think possible. I BELIEVE we must do that. But I am here, right now, with gained weight, a depressed attitude, and a lost feeling. I am not living up to my potential. In fact, I am in reverse of my potential. Falling into old habits of mind, body and soul. Down, down, down. I KNOW the way to stop falling--just STOP. But I keep falling, with excuse and excuse after excuse. I am numbed by the nonsense bulls*it I tell myself. I am tired of hearing myself tell lies. JUST MAKE THE DECISION, BRANDY! All the lies go away and then I am left with a cleaner truth--about myself, abou the world, about the potential to be great--for myself. Sure, we often want to be great for others, but I truly believe it is most important to be great ourselves. People leave, people judge, peoplge get jealous....we can't control others. So we must find large amounts of good stuff INSIDE. I am lacking right now. Floating in a weird space, actually. Mentally checked out of my job that requires so much mental commitment. Mentally checked out of working out in a structured way---but it's something I desperately need. Looking in to crossfit. Always looking for new things to try, to do, to get inspired through. Always looking for people to light the way, to inspire me! I once told a co0worker that I needed some inspiration. She laughed and said "YOU need inspiration? You have to be kidding!" YES! I need inspiration too. :) Just because I am a motivator does not mean I can always motivate myself, or that I don't have rought spots. That's why I am on SparkPeople. I have met the people here who motivate me, and inspire me, and encourage me. Here is where I meet people who "get" my struggles. I do not feel alone here.
Right now I am cooking low fat chicken breast, thinking about the contract I am going to make tonight. Is it going to be no sweets, no fast food, no bulls%it for a year? It's going to be something drastic. I do well with drastic. I can CUT things out of my life when it's good for me---people, food, and I am working on jobs. :)
That's it. The chicken is almost done and I am tired. I have a heavy feeling----a feeling of non-freedom that I dislike, that I self-impose.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
I had INTENDED to get to bed early tonight. I have a dentist appt in the morning and I wanted to feel rested all day. BUT--the grocery store got in the way. One of the most relaxing (and expensive) things I do is go to the grocery store and walk up and down every single aisle---looking. I look for new items, things I want to try. I read the labels on everything. Tonight I thought about my race coming up on Sunday and how I would like to carb load for that, and what I'd like to drink to hydrate (Recharge always wins). I will drink one bottle of recharge Wed-Sat. The race is supposed to be HOT and from the looks of the roster--ENORMOUS--try over 3000 women! That's the biggest race I've been to. Our heats are 125 women. Holy cow! Where was I, oh yes--groceries. For "carb loading" I bought lite canned fruit (to eat with greek yogurt for snacks), grahmn crackers, strawberry fig newtons, all natural, high fiber cereal (for either wednesday or thursday and then I will cut back on fiber probably). Let's see, I also bought Jennie-O Turkey Franks (4 packages on sale!). I LOVE hot dogs but don't generally eat them because their nutrition counts SUCK so bad. the turkey franks are much better on paper. Some people comment on the way franks are made, but seriously, I don't want to hear about what body parts are in there because I LOVE them! I also got eggs, swiss cheese (for my mother in law coming in to town), 1% milk for her and hubby, some cleaning supplies, some funny cards (and a card for myself that I loved!), fat free cottage cheese, sugar free tapioca pudding (delicious!!!), pasta for hubby, chicken breast cut in strips, chicken breast fillets, and three containers of greek yogurt. That's not all, but that is all I can remember right now.
So, needless to say, I am stocked for food for the week, but now I'm going to be tired! I planned in my planner to get good sleep Thursday and Friday. Saturday I won't sleep well....that's just how I am the night before a race. Don't tell anyone--but I might actually try really hard at this race--just to see what I can do with my times! It's a hilly run course, with the first 1.75 miles benig uphill---but maybe I will gather the courage to push myself harder than ever!
Ok, that's it. I am outtie and off to bed.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Today I worked out with my ex-trainer, who is moving to Dallas. I haven't worked out with him since January. What a treat. I can't describe in words how those workouts make me feel. They are group high intensity interval trainings with cardio and weights. After one of them I am left feeling as if I am standing in the middle of me--calm, centered, non-chaotic. It is one of the most beautiful feelings I've ever had. At peace. That feeling is so rare to me. It's helpful because I am feeling a little disappointed in me right now, but this too shall pass.
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