Monday, April 05, 2010
I choose to live a life that is healthy and full of movement, I choose this for me as I choose this for anyone in my life and I choose this because I must. Having seen the wrong side of health for far too many years a decision was made to take control back away from something not in my control for too long and the way that I live now is a complete 180 from where I began when I started writing this blog. I go to the gym because it is a tool for my health, I eat the foods that I eat because its what I need to do in order to live life on my terms and I am a changed man from making these choices. Once upon a time there was a fella that had all but given up on any chance of ever doing half of the things that I do now and honestly had no idea what to do about a situation that was getting worse by the day yet here I am today 220 pounds lighter than I once was and in the best shape of my life.
Anyone can do this, yes that means you! Today I will go to the gym and I will do 45 to 60 minutes of cardio, I will lift weights for my shoulders, biceps, and back and I will do this not only because I have to but because I enjoy it. When I am done at the gym I will play in my yard with my daughter for a while and take a bike ride after dinner not because I have to or enjoy it though both are true but because I Can. In the not so distant past some of what I do now was but a pipe dream as I watched through the window at other people doing these remedial tasks and taking a ride on a bike was simply not a possibility at that weight or level of conditioning, to run around the yard with my daughter was an impossible thing and that bothered me immensely more than I let on because of pride. So today I do my cardio, I run with my little girl, I ride my bike and I live because I can and because its what I choose to do, I am not limited by the physical me any more.
Having lived life at 534 pounds, if you want to call it living, I can fully appreciate how I live today. Making my way down towards a healthy weight has become like a job to me and I will get there, I will be where I want to be with my weight and health and nobody can stop that, nobody but me that is. Making choices to do things that allow me to do things is how this whole thing works, I choose to eat the 4oz of turkey with dinner so that I can run in the yard with my daughter, I choose to drink nothing but green tea and water so that I can do 60 minutes of cardio training and not worry about a heart attack and I choose to do that cardio daily so that I am not limited by myself from doing anything that i want to do.
You can do this too, you can have everything that you want not because I say so but because its true and once upon a time I was on the other side of the equation reading a blog written by some other person that had lost a ton of weight thinking about how I couldn't do it, yet here I am, 220 pounds less of a man physically and 1000 time more the man that I was just two short years ago because of a choice to do something about it.
Ask yourself if its harder to miss out on all of the things that life offers or to put that cheeseburger down and move that ass just a little bit more, answer honestly and its not really a hard choice at all.
Friday, April 02, 2010
April 2nd is here and that 300 by today did not happen, ok I am over it and onto the new goal or should I say run at the 200's. This morning the scale said 314.8 pounds three times in a row and that's actually up from last week by .6 but I am pretty sure we won't loiter around that number for too long. It would appear that I need to average 3.7 pounds per week until May 1st if I am going to get to 300 by May 1st and that seems aggressive to me but I suppose when the Kraken gets released its not good news for somebody and the fat is that somebody...er something..er whatever it is its not good news for the chub.
I have been at this weight loss game for 822 days now and am down 220 pounds in that time, when all is said and done I hope to have lost 50% of my total weight or 267 pounds which will leave me at..well...267 pounds. When I started off I chose a number that coincided with what I thought would be a healthy looking weight for me and I got that number from mt fathers weight, he was 265 pounds at the time and stands 6'1'' tall has a large build and doesn't look so bad at that weight so I figured I am 6'5'', large build 275 will look good. After doing the math I figured out that 267 pounds would give me 50% total body weight lost and I want that number...at least! I think that ultimately I would like to end up around 250 pounds but for now we shall shoot for 275. There is a lot of figuring and calculating with this weight loss for me from my excel spread sheets and weight loss graphs to the percentages lost at each pound lost right on over to the raw pounds lost and in all honesty I think that those numbers help me to stay on track, its sort of a scientific measurement of what I am doing and I can go back and look at that whenever I need/want to because of my meticulous tracking since starting.
Weight loss and better health really is a lifestyle change, so many things have to change in order for it to be successful that it HAS to be a lifestyle change. There are tons of diet plans out there that require a person pay a monthly dollar amount for guidance, pre-packaged meals, counting points, buying special foods, buying pills and all other sorts of things that I feel are unnecessary in today's day and age. I hear about people that have yo-yo dieted all of their lives and tried every pill and plan that came out year after year and spent tons of money and time depending on the "diet industry" to take care of a problem that just needs some K.I.S.S. applied to it for results. I have never bought a diet pill, I have never bought a gimmick diet book or plan, I have never taken pills that make for greasy trips to the toile...well yeah, I have never once paid for special meals prepared in a factory to be delivered to my door, I have never had to resort to a surgery and I have never counted a point yet here I am 220 pounds lighter than I was just 2 years ago, how can that be? Some of those plans work because if they didn't they would not still be around and I know some people that have had great success with a couple of those things including WLS BUT and there's always a but right? I don't believe that a person has to pay someone else to limit their intake when it can be done with some discipline.
Now wait right here Mister Meatball! you make losing weight sound way too easy and you can stick that right in your....No no no, I am not saying that it is easy at all and believe me I know first hand that its not but I literally asked myself one question back in 2008 and the answer is why I did what I did to get where I am now. I was looking for a way out, and I thought that way was to get a weight loss surgery I mean my sister in law looks amazing after her surgery and I have a friend whose father also looks awesome after getting a WLS but what exactly does getting a surgery mean? for me it just meant that someone was going to alter my body in a way that would forcefully limit my caloric intake by making my stomach smaller and it seemed silly to me to have a doctor MAKE me limit my intake when I could just say fuvk it and do it myself. I asked myself "Can I really not just eat less and move more?" with that thought I literally changed the way that I looked at food and I started limiting myself to more human sized portions and the weight started falling off.
I have not weighed less than 300 pounds as an adult, the last time that a two graced the beginning of my weight I was roughly 12 years old so not even a teen really and I am a mere 14 pounds from that number right now as I type. I will never weigh less than 200 pounds unless I lose a limb or two but I have a pretty good feeling that I will get to 250 pounds and that is a feeling that I can only imagine because I was a child the last time that I was even close to that weight. Then I think about "could I get down to 234 pounds and make an even 300 pounds lost" and I have to grab myself and drag my ass back into reality and shoot for under 300 pounds for now.
Barring anything semi tragic in my near future I suspect that I will have a pretty successful next couple weeks where the weight loss goes because I am feeling very focused right now. The rain has stopped, the weather is warming up and I am so close to being under 300 pounds that I can taste it. The next challenge has been issued and I am shooting for a 14 pound loss in the month of April, come May 1st I am hoping that I will have a 2 in front of my weight to go with the giant smile that will surely come with that achievement. The kids have no school today and that gives me an opportunity to get out in the yard and get some more work done this morning so that's the end of this longer than usual Friday weigh in post.
If you are reading this and think that you cannot lose the weight that's holding you back without paying out of your ass for special programs...you are wrong. YOU can do it if you want it bad enough.
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Sometimes I get in a mood where I feel unstoppable and yesterday was one of those days, Heading out to the gym I was in a good place feeling like it was time to get serious again with my workouts. Low Fidelity All stars on the radio and the weather is warming up after our Ark building weather here in the New England and its leveling off again for me. Straight to the bike I went where I found someone on the bike that I usually ride and all of the rest taken besides the one in the corner which is coincidentally the one that I use to go to for that very reason so in my head I think "Now don't you know that's MY bike man??" and onto the corner bike I went. Twenty five minutes and almost 9 virtual miles later I am warmed up and onto my bestest friend in the whole gym Mr. Arc-trainer, level 80 was set on the display and I stayed at 103 rpms for 15 minutes. Straight to the treadmill where I did 3.5mph @ a 5.5% incline for another 25 minutes and I blurted out "I been thinkin of bustin you Upside ya motherfuvkin forehead" actually just the "Upside ya motherfuvkin forehead" was out loud but a quick look around and I am pretty sure no one was close enough to hear it so now I can add Move bitch to my list of blurted out songs at the gym.
That unstopable feeling is great while at the gym because its like I feel nothing negative, the burn in my legs is welcomed and I look forward to the sweat on my head so a good workout is inevitable. I stayed on point with my intake for Wednesday as well having a total of 1780 which is technically 80 calories over my limit but I am ok with that. Those 80 calories over was because of snatchy hands and some powdered cheese covered evilness that made its way into my cabinet, spicy Doritos. Wify gave me that look that grandma would give you if she caught ya elbow deep in the cookie jar and stated forcefully "You had better weigh that if you are going to eat it! DO IT NOW Tony!" then she declared herself the food police, so I complied and tossed my booty onto the Salter scale where it read 16g so I added it to the spreadsheet, I did not however get the pat down from the food cop that I was hoping for though. Have a look at my menu from yesterday.
2 cups honey combs 220
8oz 1% milk 110
Dark chocolate zone bar 190
2 80 cal rolls 160
5oz ground turkey 200
1oz doritos 140
2 jenny o turkey hot dogs 140
2 hot dog rolls 240
2oz ground turk (chili) 80
1 can green beans 70
2 brussel sprouts/8 tiny grape tomatoes 40
2 small oranges 120
1/2 oz doritos 70
G-Tea 1 Gallon
H2O 1.25 Gallons
Tomorrow is the final day in my April 2nd challenge and I will be no where close to where I was expecting to be when I started that April goal which is of course below 300 pounds. I am ok with that as there were some humps in the road especially this last month with being sick for almost 2 solid weeks and a few things that go unmentioned on this blog but I set a goal to get to 300 pounds by May 1st so we shall see how that goes. Tomorrows weigh in number will be the base number, or starting point if you will for the May challenge and I will change the chart on the side bar after I step on the scale in the morning. Today is suppose to hit 70 degrees and the water has stopped falling from the sky and spilling from the rivers for now so a bike ride may be in order at some point today but that will be after the gym so its looking like a good day for movement and the food police will keep me in check on the other stuff if I start to slip.
In the words of Porky pig, th th th that's all folks!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
I sometimes go back and re-read my older posts to see what I was doing on a given day and this morning I went back a year and read a post from March 30th 2009 and apparently this time of year gets me in the yard! This past weekend I wrote about all of the yard work and how my hamstrings are killing me right now and one year ago I was in the same boat almost exactly so it would appear that I have a pattern of sorts that I need to work on. My mornings start off great and then I bust ass all afternoon and bamn! a bad dinner? for why? Here is an excerpt from my March 30th 2009 post titled "Did I mention that I'm sore?.
"Busy busy busy! that pretty much sums up my weekend, we decided that it was time to paint "the blue room" AKA "the rec room" AKA "the big ass mess" so that we did. We moved everything out of the room and into my sons room so that we could move around in there, we painted and repaired almost all day Saturday to the point where we did not finish. Saturday night we decided that we would have a bonfire in our yard and burn up some of the brush that we have been cutting down in our yard so we spent about an hour dragging logs, branches and brush up the back part of the yard where the fire pit is and a bonfire we had! roasted marshmallows and all. The intake for Saturday was very much less than stellar but I am cool with it, I don't know if it was all of the work from the day or if its just the fat that we were having a bonfire but I ate terribly. Breakfast and lunch went well enough but then dinner was bacon pizza which I had 4 slices of and a bottle of water, hey at least I turned down the soda and chose water right? I had about 4 marshmallows and 2 bottles of Guinness while sitting at the fire so Saturday was a bad day for intake."
See that pattern? yeah the one where I make it ok to eat bad because I busted ass on any given day? yeah well that's gotta go! In the first year of me deciding to do something about my health I was a rock, I was very much a pain in the ass to eat around or with because I demanded that everything be my way or I would not be a part of it and I think that has to come back a bit. The point of me losing weight was so that I could first stay alive longer as I have a feeling that I was on the edge of some bad stuff before I changed the way that I live but there is another side to why I wanted to lose weight.
Being comfortable to move around in daily life is something that I think anyone that's not been huge takes for granted. Any event big or small was a hassle for me when I was 500 plus pounds, birthday party? no fuvkin way man, too many people and they will all expect something from me that is more than sitting still on the couch, Amusement park? are you out of your damn mind? why would I want to walk around somewhere all day in the heat and watch everyone else have fun? Catch a movie? yeah sure thing! just don't forget to bring the Vaseline so that I can get my ass dislodged from the seat when its done. Being comfortable was something that I wished for almost on a daily basis when I was 500 plus pounds, I would think about how much easier things are when you don't weigh as much as a full on street bike instead of doing something about it. These days? I am comfortable, I run, I walk, I ride my bike and I play outside with the kids unhindered by weight and I am beginning to think that was the most important thing to me because I have relaxed on being as strict as I was in the beginning.
Right now I am just cruising through this better health thing and not pushing myself as hard as I once did and that's going to stop today, I am not going to wish for anything and I am not going to let my current comfort level be the point where I kick my feet up on the desk and proclaim victory. I am at a point where I love to exercise so that's not an issue, I drink like a fish so no worries there, my issue seems to be that I am way relaxed on the intake part of the equation because I can "judge" what I am eating so well now that I do it more often than I should be. I am not gaining weight so maintaining is a big 10-4 smokey BUT I am not quite at a maintenance weight just yet so back to the annoying pain in the ass with the scale mode I go which is going to suck with the warm weather coming and Mr Carona and Guinness hanging around but we will manage.
Another blogger friend of mine has issued a challenge to himself to drop 13 pounds by May 1st and has asked me if I wanted to be a part of it, by calling me out by name in his latest post and I am going to boldly say that I will be below 300 pounds before May 1st 2010. I will post my Friday weight to complete my April 2nd challenge results and see just how far I missed that mark because I AM going to miss it and start a new weight chart on the side bar to track this May challenge. IF I am able to get to my last Friday weight by this Friday I will need to drop 3.5 pounds per week to hit that May goal and again its an ambitious number but ambitious is what gets me going. If this Friday shows an up in weight which I think it will, that 3.5 pound per week target will be higher and after doing that math just now I am thinking that this is not going to be an easy task for me.
I am going to admit that I am pissed off at myself for not making it to that April goal that I set for myself even though there was a lot that went on in that time that effected the results that goes unmentioned in this blog, either way I am aggravated at myself for not making it. I refuse to be aggravated for a health goal and instead I am going to do something about it, sort of like when I decided that I need to NOT be 500 plus pounds any more. I have been in the last few months whittling away at the weight at a much slower pace than I once was and I suppose that's to be expected but I do know that I am not doing my part as much as I was in the beginning because of comfort and I am deciding that being comfortable is going to cost me some comfort and its time to amp up the workouts a bit and get the intake back into a VERY STRICT rhythm again.
Grab a bowl of popcorn unbuttered of course and watch for those 200's to come rolling around because its been a long time coming and I think its time to get back to what got me here in the first place. Out comes the scale for EVERYTHING and no more guesstimating on my measurements for a while, dropping the weight takes strict adherence to that system while I am finding out that I can maintain without the scale is a great thing I still see some road ahead that I need to walk, Its on...
Thats all I got today.
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