Friday, March 19, 2010
The virtual week is over and time to get on that scale has come, its been a not so fun week as I have been under the weather again all week and no gym for me so a sad panda for sure. Last week showed no movement in the right direction and I was up by a pound but this week we have a new low weight and a 5.4 pound drop today. The scale said 311.0 pounds on the nose which means that I have lost 41.76% of my total weight to date which is a whopping 223 pounds and I am not even close to done yet! My original goal was to get down to 275 pounds and I am now 36 pounds from that goal and just saying that feels awesomely incredible to me because I was once staring down the barrel of having to lose 259 pounds to get there so that thirty six left feels very attainable. Lets get to some images of things that weigh as much as I do and as much as I have lost, this is my favorite part of a Friday post because it means a loss!
This Durbahn Ducati 999 V2 comes in at 311 pounds just like someone that I know.
This 1979 Suzuki RM250 weighs in at 223 pounds which is what I have lost to date.
MMA fighter Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic comes in at 223 pounds as well, imagine having to carry that fellow around on your shoulders all day!
Making good choices most of the time has gotten me where I am down this road and I say most of the time because I do this with the idea of everything in moderation without limiting myself from anything completely. There is a natural progression to eat more lean meats, veggies, fruits etc with my process as I rarely eat cloned red meat or pork and I tend to lean towards fish more than anything but it was chicken last year. The longer that I do this the more I am seeing a progression towards that cleaner eating and its just kind of happening more than something that I am consciously doing. I still enjoy an occasional slice of bacon pizza or a nice New York strip steak with a loaded baked potato, the difference is the frequency of meals like that.
It use to be the reverse of what it is now, I would have pizza, steaks, HUGE plates of food very often and a random salad with 3/4 of a bottle of dressing would serve as my high and holy meal that helped me justify the way that I was eating. I don't think that I will ever give up bacon and onion pizza or a perfectly cooked steak entirely, instead I treat them as, well, treats. I do things like say that on holidays I don't count my calories which doesn't mean that I strap on a feed bag it just means that I am going to enjoy the time with my family instead of worrying about being that pain in the ass with the scale on those occasions. If I go out to dinner with my wife I don't really worry all that much about the calories, I do make the best choices available and I do try and look up the nutritional information if I can but I don't obsess like I do in daily life, its not every day that I get to have a night out with the love of my life and when that happens I want to worry about her. I feel that moderation is the key to a successful weight loss program and hopping off of the road for a big plate of your favorite whatever every now and again will not sabotage the entire day, week, month or year.
I am obviously happy with the results on the scale this week and think that its insane that I am only 36 pounds from my first major goal weight of 275 pounds. Still being sick has me slightly concerned that the weight will jump up slightly this week as I get back to my regularly scheduled program and start back at the gym but that's to be found out I suppose and perhaps I will need to change my calories around a bit in the coming weeks, but those thoughts are for another post because right now I am just enjoying today's results.
Today's broadcast has come to an end, keep on keepin on because that's all I got for now.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
So yesterday morning I ran out to do some errands before it was time to bring my daughter to school, or in other words get some bigger snacks because apparently my little princess was feeling like she was missing out by having a cereal bar and I made an impromptu stop at JC Penny to look for a shirt. I of course walk straight to the Big and Tall section and start looking around and I see a button up shirt that the price seems good to me at $24.99 and I asked the kid what color I should get and grabbed a 4xl off of the rack in her color choice, when I started asking a 4 year old for fashion advice I don't know. Now I grabbed the 4xl because any big guy knows that button up shirts fit differently than a tee shirt so a bigger size fits more comfortably usually and comes with the added benefit of being able to actually button the shirt AND sit down in it. Of course the 4xl fits and I can button it up so I am comfortable with the size BUT the neck is too big which is something else that I would think all big guys know so it looked awkward, lets try a 3xlt right? The 3xlt fit tighter than the 4xl and the neck looked better but honestly the shirt was still looser than it needed to be, especially because I am buying it to wear over a tee shirt and unbuttoned so something said "go out of this bigger is better comfort zone and try the 2xlt" and I did and low and behold it fit me. The 2xlt fit me length wise, it buttoned and as long as I don't sit down it looks good on me and I only know this because my daughter said "that one looks da best Dada its my favorite" I think that she was just tired of standing there while I tried on the same shirt over and over and had to try something BUT I'll tell ya she was right it did look the best from all of the shirts.
I went out of my comfort zone with this shirt because it actually fits me and is not loose and baggy like everything else that I buy and a 2xlt?? in a button up shirt?? Me?? woah like seriously it was like 7th grade the last time that happened. The other thing that I am going to have to start getting use to is the fact that there are actually stores that I can walk into and buy some clothing in without thumbing through a catalog and picking things from the very limited selection. I can walk into any store that sells jeans and buy myself jeans now a days as the last "new" pants that I bought were a 42 but since then I have poked 3 holes in my belt and the 42's slide off of my non ass without a tightly cinched belt so I don't know exactly what size jeans I am right now, but shirts have always been an issue. I own precisely ONE 2xlt tee shirt and now I own one 2xlt button up shirt and like I mentioned it was 8th grade or so the last time I was in this size but back then I was on my way up in sizes, this time around I am on my way down.
I have a specific memory from back then going "school shopping" with my mother and we were never well off so of course we are at K-mart and I was trying on xl shirts to no avail because they did not fit me. I have no idea what the section where they had the bigger clothes was called back then but I remember it being kind of a new thing to have stuff in bigger sizes but that could just have been a 7th graders view of it. Anyways, "look Tony these are 2xl try one on" said my mother, and it fit but the picture on the front of the tee shirt said "Coma Toads" and was a bunch of frogs laying on a couch like they were partying and were now comatose, I got the shirt. I didn't want the shirt, I didn't want any of the shirts that I got that day but it was all that would fit and I clearly remember it because it was the day that I went into "big clothes" and if I had know just how significant that shirt would be to me I may have tried to keep it. That day I was passing into a new size of shirt and it was a terrible thing that the size was 2xl and yesterday when I bought that 2xlt shirt and it fit me I am again passing into a new size of clothing but this time around 2xl is a welcomed thing.
I am not quite ready to say that I am a true 2xl size yet, I have 3xl shirts that fit me fine and are comfortable but these couple of 2xl things fit me too, just slightly snug for the moment. Maybe in a month or two I will HAVE to admit that I am this size because there will be no denying how the bigger stuff looks on me but I am still more comfortable in a looser fitting 3xl shirt than any 2xl that I own right now. The mental aftermath of losing the amount of weight that I have is interesting indeed and not something that I thought would be here at all, changing the way that I think I have covered, changing the way that my eyes see things is going to have to happen naturally because I honestly can still see the way bigger me a lot of times still, Not that I am small...yet...but still you get my point.
Tomorrow is a weigh in day for the blog so make sure to tune back in to see the stunning results of the week on the next episode of as the fat guy turns.
Monday, March 15, 2010
People sometimes don't know how the smallest insults can effect a person in a long term kind of way and I think that over weight people get the worse of that because its almost ok to point out to a fat guy that hes...fat. Joking with Wify last night I told her that I hate that "O" word and I said to her for me its the same as that "C" word to women, you know the one that rhymes with hunt. I don't mean the good "O" either I mean Obese, its such an insulting sounding word and I don't know why, perhaps its because I fit the bill at one point in my life and arguably still do. Now if you add that "M" word in front of it?? "Morbidly Obese" I mean C'mon that just sounds horrible! but I suppose the situation where the term can be used is terrible so maybe it fits? At 534 pounds I was and I hate saying admitting this Morbidly Obese, that is like the worse insult in the entire universe of insults for me.
Throughout my life as a fat guy I have heard it all, I have heard every creative and not so creative way to insult a fat guy that could be thought up, some people got a mouth full of padded knuckle for their time and others got away with it because it just wasn't worth the effort and honestly sometimes it just took everything out of me. The standard "Fat ass" and and pig sounds etc to more elaborate taunts such as "Hey you have a dickie do yes?", "a dickie do?" , "Yeah your belly sticks out more than your dickie do! Buhahahaha!" but one of the worse ones was a day that it was cold outside and someone said "Hey when you are not looking I am going to cut you open like a Tauntaun and sleep inside you to stay warm". Then there were times in middle school when I would come home upset from school and told my Dad that whoever had called me fat and I cried or something like that and he said "The next person that calls you fat punch him in the nose and it will stop" so I did and low and behold it was a couple years before someone called me fat again.
Its amazing how a fat kids confidence can be beaten down into nothing because of constant taunting about the extra weight and yet a 6 foot tall 250 pound 7th grader could likely dispatch any of the other kids in the class quite easily. On occasion enough was enough and kids were thrown into lockers for calling me fat, other kids teeth were introduced to chubby knuckles but it always came back, the fat jokes are always there. In my high school year book I was "voted" "Laziest" in class along with the heaviest girl in the class and it was obvious to me that whoever did this "voting" DID NOT know me and chose me for that wonderful title forevermore in the year book purely on my size because at that time in my life I was not lazy, I removed the last names and the face of the girl in that picture from my year book to protect the innocent. My father and me were working on a house that my parents were buying so after school it was straight to that house and we remodeled much of a six family house just the two of us, I worked on cars in my spare time and was weightlifting 6 days per week for the last three years of high school so where "lazy" came from? had to be because I was the fat kid, its always bothered me that the title was given to me in the year book because of the obvious reason that it was given.
I am sure that every disability has its own prejudices but I don't know of one that is more widely accepted as ok to openly taunt the unfortunate person that has said disability as being fat does. I suppose that its viewed as "ok" to do it because the person should be able to do something about the problem thus deserves the taunting on some level? but in reality every one of those negative responses to a situation that NO ONE is happy about being in just reinforces the sulking and turning to food for comfort trigger and someone that has never dealt with a weight issue cannot possibly understand it on the same level as the person on the receiving end of these kinds of jabs.
I have come a long way on this weight loss, better health campaign and I am who I am today partially because of all of those jokes at my expense as a kid, I wish that I could say I would trade my experiences for those of a regular sized person but I can't. I have the most incredible wife on the entire planet and two wonderful kids that I possibly would not have if I wasn't who I am, and I am the person that I am today because of everything that has happened in my life to this point. I find that in a lot of people that were or are fat is an awesome sense of humor that has originally developed as a defense mechanism and that is something completely positive coming out of some negative vibes.
I do have to admit that the Tauntaun joke made me laugh last night when I was talking to Wify about it but hey! I did say that I developed a good sense of humor right?
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