Monday, December 21, 2009
Skipping and tripping through my days as of late keeping things together where my health is concerned, Eat good, Gym, Drink fluids, get enough rest over and over and over again is my aim. Being the best Husband that a fella can be, the best Daddy and friend but somewhere along the way there has got to be time for myself otherwise 534 pounds of yum yum goodness could come walking on back and none of the people in my life need or want that to happen so my guilty pleasure has become the gym, that is for me no matter what. I go to the gym because I have to but interestingly enough I am finding that I go because I want to, even on days where I am spent, or not feeling up to snuff, I go, I work out and feel awesome for my efforts. Thinking back to when I started off on my trip to a smaller me I can remember walking less than 2 blocks and feeling like I had accomplished something so much bigger and it was because of the previous life that I was living, walking to the bedroom was the furthest distance that I (could) would go back then.
20 minutes on the stationary bike is a warm up for the arc-trainer now a days and once upon a time back in 2008 a 12 minute ride on a much easier to pedal stationary bike was considered by me a tough work out, my how times have changed. Embarrassed because of not being able to take a walk to a broken bridge a quarter mile up the road one summer of my past, Using my daughters speed on her little bike as a reason to walk a bit slower than I should have walked and feeling excited when I realized that I could run again without collapsing my knees. Things changed so fast, or so it seems right now as I sit here writing a post after a trip to the gym, back then it felt like it would never improve and then it did Eat good, Gym, Drink fluids, Sleep.
Just under 2 years ago I was big, slow, tired all of the time and not happy with where I was or what I was doing. Today I am confident that I could out last my brother and father if we were to run, bike or anything that takes cardiovascular fitness to achieve and to the point that I would bet money on it! I started out doing this all for me and away I went, week after week of successful weigh ins showing drops in weight and the exercise was getting easier by the week. Lately I have slacked off a bit and I believe I figured out why, I am not afraid that I will die right now, I have not thought about my health doing me in for quite some time so its almost like though I am still eating right and exercising I have not been pushing myself like in the beginning. A decision was made that I need to see this through and hit my goal weight of 275 pounds and I believe I will go well beyond that number because I must put me first where my health is the topic because if I don't we all have seen where that got me.
Eat good, Gym, Drink fluids, Sleep, this is an easy Mantra for me right now because I enjoy all of these things. Drinking enough fluids to me is a treat, its like I can have as much water or green tea as I can take in and there is nothing negative about it but everything positive. Sleep, who doesn't like sleeping? my relationship with Conan O'Brien is suffering but I think that we will both get over it as I drift into my slumber at a reasonable hour. Eating good has turned into a completely different statement for me, instead of eating 4 pounds of Del Taco and a 66oz cup cherry coke its 5oz of baked flounder and a giant salad that does it for me, or turkey burgers on Portabello mushroom caps with a side of sweet potato fries that I crave, to me the latter is eating good. The gym is my therapy at this point, I can go and work out as long as I want to and disappear into the movement stopping only to change machines or to stretch, the gym is for me and I will embrace it.
I have come so far mentally that the physical almost seems secondary to me and that's saying a lot coming from a guy that lost more than 200 pounds. When I started down this road the way I thought was different, the way I did things was very different and the way I am currently is completely different than Dec 31st 2007. I looked at food back then and saw it as something to do not unlike how I now see riding my bike as something to do, it was like eating was recreation and is nothing that I saw back then or would have admitted even if I did see it. I can't lie and say that food does not tempt me now and again but the difference is that its not an obsession any more, that has shifted to my time at the gym or out on my bike in fact I had a New York strip on Saturday night but that was the first in more than a few months if not more and goes into the sensible choice category.
Focus must be maintained and I have to put myself first because when I didn't I ended up weighing more than 500 pounds. Eat good, Gym, Drink fluids, Sleep Has to be where my head stays if not to stay focused then to distract myself from other curve balls that life tosses in my direction.
The mental is more important than the physical Eat good, Gym, Drink fluids,Sleep..
Try and stop me.
Friday, December 18, 2009
So the time has come to hop on the scale and record it onto the blog for the world to see, this morning I am more than pleased with myself because it has pretty much been a week from hell if stress levels are the measurement yet I am happy with what I see on the scale. I will get right to it and say that I am back to my all time low weight of 328 pounds! Tuesday I did not think I would show a loss at all this week because of lots of different things but here I am and its a 2 pound loss for the week with the exact reading on the scale being 328.4lbs. Eight pounds in three weeks and well on my way to hitting that goal of being under 300 pounds by April 2nd which is pretty exciting if I am being honest, This coming Friday gives me an opportunity to hit a new all time low weight and I am planning on doing everything that I can to get there.
I am proof positive that perseverance is all that is needed to lose weight, focus helps, determination as well and this has turned into much more than losing weight for me. I have gained my health back in a way that is making me more driven than I ever was where health and fitness is the subject and it agrees with me. I am not expecting to see the other side 330 pounds again any time soon but those things have a funny way of working sometimes so if it does happen I will have to beat the fat back into submission on the arc trainer again.
Weight loss is not always a fluid motion with the line on the graph always pointed in a downward direction, sometimes it pops back up a bit but as long as we keep on keepin on it will undoubtedly head back in that lower direction again and again. I have come a long way since starting down this path to better health, I have stumbled a bit at times and I have pushed myself to the point of hurting myself, I have slacked off and at the same time I have been that insistent fellow in a restaurant demanding to know every bit of info about how a meal was prepared and the ingredients used but most importantly if you look at the line on my bar graph I have been pretty consistent throughout my trip to the half.
There was a point in my life where I was 534 pounds and I had no clue what I weighed, in fact I thought I was closer to 600 pounds and was relieved to find out that I "was only" just over 500 pounds, imagine where a person has to be mentally to be relieved that he is 500 pounds, trust me its not a good place. I have read blogs and stories online as well as in magazine etc of people losing 50, 100, 200 and more pounds and looking at side by side photos of these people and they look amazing! and I think about how I am down 206 pounds so far and still have a good amount to lose to be where I need to be and have that amazing side by side shot. I am still a magazine article away from hitting my initial goal weight of 275 pounds with 53 more pounds to go to get to that weight and I know that I want to be lower than that now because of how I currently look at 328 pounds. At 6'5'' I carry my weight decently but in all honesty I can lose a total of 300 pounds realistically and be at a healthy weight, I would be 234 pounds at 300 pounds lost which I may change my mind the closer I get but seriously?? I could lose 300 pounds?? Do I want to get that small? I don't think so but it is what my brother weighs and he is only a half inch shorter than I am and he looks good at that weight so it is possible for me to get into the 230's especially if I end up getting a surgery to remove excess skin, a chapter to be written perhaps.
Round and round he goes, and where he stops nobody knows.
This week is one for the W column, I am pleased with the scale, I am pleased with myself and next week I am predicting a new all time low weight for me. Thanks for stopping by and thanks for the support, it is greatly appreciated.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Better late than never I say, my day is almost done and I have stuck strictly to the game plan, just finished a big ol salad for dinner and my trip to the gym was a good one, tomorrow is the "official" weigh in for the blog and I am hoping that there is a loss. If a loss is not shown on the scale that's ok because I am a week stronger than last week and though stress is poking its head into my regimen I am proving to myself that I can motor through it and stay if not exactly on plan close enough to feel good about what I have done. For whatever reason I have been in the past few days missing my bike, I saw a fella riding down my street a couple days ago and since then I have been wanting to pull the bike out and take it for a spin around the lake but as I am in good old New England we have had some pretty rough weather lately, it has been clear out but below zero temps with the wind chill so it is not really an option.
It is a later than normal post and I am feeling random but I am really looking forward to tomorrows weigh in because I do feel like there will be a loss and as long as I am creeping towards that 300 pound mark I am a happy camper. There is a lot of things that have been learned as well as lessons taught as I walk this road to better health and I look forward to reaching that finish line, being a skinny person is not something that I have ever known and I have to admit that I am more than curious to see life from that angle.
I am a Father, I am a Husband, a guitar player Dragon to my daughters princess when need be, I am a poet, I am a writer, I am a gym rat and a cyclist I am a Son, an Uncle and a Brother, I am a swimmer in training as well as a friend, I am Santa Clause and no one calls me Maurice. I am a Ford Mustang fanatic, a bad singer that deep down believes that he sounds good, I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker I get my lovin' on the ru....oh wait.
Something that I am not is a fat guy sitting on a couch wishing things were different and that's a fact which will never change.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday went well, I got to the gym, I ate within my calorie range, I drank more than 2 gallons of fluids and I got eight hours sleep, not too shabby if I do say so myself. Making a lifestyle change instead of being on a diet is key in this whole weight loss extravaganza and I believe that the fact that I have made this a lifestyle change and not just the next thing is why I can recover so quickly from a bad weekend or four. I have noticed that I have been up after the weekends and I have been blaming it on bad food choices etc when there is actually more to it than that. In general I do not go to the gym on the weekends unless we can find a baby sitter, but if not then its just house stuff that gets done on the weekend so there is another factor as to why I may be peeking back up slightly come Monday hop on the scale. To say that I am making bad or worse food choices on the weekends is misleading as well, when I say bad food choices I do not mean that I am raiding the fridge and I do not mean eating a ton of extra calories, its closer to not really getting as much fluid into my days because I am busier than on the week days or that I had a big ol salty bowl of popcorn with wify while watching a movie and come Monday the less water more sodium less movement plus a shake of somewhat of a stressful situation I am going through right now apparently equals up to an up fluctuation now and again.
In spite of everything that I just said I do believe that I will see a drop in weight this week, do you see what I mean when I mentioned groundhog day in yesterdays post? its like I am cycling through the same time span over and over and over. With that said, I am making advances with my health each and every week, it is easier for me to do my 50 minutes of cardio per day and I am finding that if I needed/wanted to I could probably toss in another 30 minutes with not too much of an issue but then the question is why? is 50 minutes to an hour of cardio not enough? I am getting stronger with the weight lifting and I have some definition which is mostly hidden behind flying squirrel like skin for the moment being but I am seeing actual gains in strength and endurance and progress is progress.
I must stay as focused as possible so that come April 2nd I am looking at my next goal instead of trying to figure out what happened with this one, I have to get to that under 300 pound mark if not because its a lesser weight then to prove to myself that I can still meet ambitious goals with my health. Will I reach that sub 300 pound mark by April 2nd? only God knows but I have a strong feeling that I will get there before April 2nd because in lieu of a personal crisis that is happening for us right now which will not get more detailed than that as far as my blog is concerned I must keep focused and I must finish what I have started and take my health back.
This week I will predict that the motorcycle photos will return and I am also looking for a new all time low weight, again, am I ambitious? you betcha! if I do not show a loss come Friday it matters not because it is who I am now to continue down my path and get as healthy as I possibly can, I actually get down if I have to miss a workout and cannot wait for spring to get here again so that I can get back on on my bike on those days that the gym is not an option.
That's all I got for ya on this cold windy Wednesday so it shall end here.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Sometimes its the things that we don't see coming that get us worse and sometimes its the things that we know are there that have the largest impact, Then there are those days that go perfectly and nothing could have been done differently else the day would cease being perfect and then all at once a rug is pulled from beneath our feet, as we collapse to the ground we watch helplessly as the expensive vase falls in slow motion towards the hardwood floor. Trying to stay on track and do everything correctly so that by weeks end the scale shows me what I want to see at times becomes more than a challenge while sitting besides the eggs in the bowl as shiny chrome beaters that loom over head get closer and closer, I do believe that I have a good idea how those eggs feel after this weekend.
I did stick to the plan as much as possible though Saturday I did have to make some choices because of circumstances not in my control where my intake was concerned, I could have made better choices but I didn't and it is what it is at this point. I have not been to the gym since Thursday for more than one reason and I will share one of them in this post, I am sick! doncha love kids sometimes? My son got a bad cold Wednesday, Thursday was my daughters turn, Friday Wify got it and by Saturday afternoon it was my turn. Today I am feeling a bit better and may try to make it to the gym at least for a bike ride because I must keep my weight going the way that I need it to which is as we all know in a downward direction. This morning as I emptied my bladder I decided that I would step on the scale because I knew that I was not as hydrated as I should have been by what I was seeing and not too much to my surprise I am up in weight by 4 pounds from Friday, 334.4 flashed onto the display but I know that I did not eat 14000 extra calories over the weekend and concluded that it has to be the weekend that I had and some stress poking its head into my life right now that is causing the "up" in weight. I am not saying that me not going to the gym doesn't have anything to do with it and I am not making an excuse, otherwise I could just not mention it but I also know there is no way I had 14000 extra calories either, again it is what it is and we will see what Friday says.
It is starting to feel like the movie "Ground hog day" with the being up post weekend for me, hopefully I can make Friday feel that way as well because I have had a loss each week for the last couple. The plan is to drink 2.5 gallons of H2O and green tea today, hit the gym for at least a light workout as I am feeling somewhat better today, and stay within 1700 calories for the day and try to not let stress control my actions the way that they demand doing so. This week I am planning to post a weigh in each day just to keep me on my toes, its a different kind of week for me so I need something a tad off the beaten path to keep me paying attention to what I am doing.
That's all I got today, its a bit random, a bit honest and more than a bit of a forced post because I am not exactly in a writing kind of mood but hey! that's life now ain't it?! keep on keepin on and all that and I will be back tomorrow with a new post, I will weigh myself in the am and post the results for your entertainment and the world keeps turning.
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