Thursday, December 17, 2009
Better late than never I say, my day is almost done and I have stuck strictly to the game plan, just finished a big ol salad for dinner and my trip to the gym was a good one, tomorrow is the "official" weigh in for the blog and I am hoping that there is a loss. If a loss is not shown on the scale that's ok because I am a week stronger than last week and though stress is poking its head into my regimen I am proving to myself that I can motor through it and stay if not exactly on plan close enough to feel good about what I have done. For whatever reason I have been in the past few days missing my bike, I saw a fella riding down my street a couple days ago and since then I have been wanting to pull the bike out and take it for a spin around the lake but as I am in good old New England we have had some pretty rough weather lately, it has been clear out but below zero temps with the wind chill so it is not really an option.
It is a later than normal post and I am feeling random but I am really looking forward to tomorrows weigh in because I do feel like there will be a loss and as long as I am creeping towards that 300 pound mark I am a happy camper. There is a lot of things that have been learned as well as lessons taught as I walk this road to better health and I look forward to reaching that finish line, being a skinny person is not something that I have ever known and I have to admit that I am more than curious to see life from that angle.
I am a Father, I am a Husband, a guitar player Dragon to my daughters princess when need be, I am a poet, I am a writer, I am a gym rat and a cyclist I am a Son, an Uncle and a Brother, I am a swimmer in training as well as a friend, I am Santa Clause and no one calls me Maurice. I am a Ford Mustang fanatic, a bad singer that deep down believes that he sounds good, I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker I get my lovin' on the ru....oh wait.
Something that I am not is a fat guy sitting on a couch wishing things were different and that's a fact which will never change.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday went well, I got to the gym, I ate within my calorie range, I drank more than 2 gallons of fluids and I got eight hours sleep, not too shabby if I do say so myself. Making a lifestyle change instead of being on a diet is key in this whole weight loss extravaganza and I believe that the fact that I have made this a lifestyle change and not just the next thing is why I can recover so quickly from a bad weekend or four. I have noticed that I have been up after the weekends and I have been blaming it on bad food choices etc when there is actually more to it than that. In general I do not go to the gym on the weekends unless we can find a baby sitter, but if not then its just house stuff that gets done on the weekend so there is another factor as to why I may be peeking back up slightly come Monday hop on the scale. To say that I am making bad or worse food choices on the weekends is misleading as well, when I say bad food choices I do not mean that I am raiding the fridge and I do not mean eating a ton of extra calories, its closer to not really getting as much fluid into my days because I am busier than on the week days or that I had a big ol salty bowl of popcorn with wify while watching a movie and come Monday the less water more sodium less movement plus a shake of somewhat of a stressful situation I am going through right now apparently equals up to an up fluctuation now and again.
In spite of everything that I just said I do believe that I will see a drop in weight this week, do you see what I mean when I mentioned groundhog day in yesterdays post? its like I am cycling through the same time span over and over and over. With that said, I am making advances with my health each and every week, it is easier for me to do my 50 minutes of cardio per day and I am finding that if I needed/wanted to I could probably toss in another 30 minutes with not too much of an issue but then the question is why? is 50 minutes to an hour of cardio not enough? I am getting stronger with the weight lifting and I have some definition which is mostly hidden behind flying squirrel like skin for the moment being but I am seeing actual gains in strength and endurance and progress is progress.
I must stay as focused as possible so that come April 2nd I am looking at my next goal instead of trying to figure out what happened with this one, I have to get to that under 300 pound mark if not because its a lesser weight then to prove to myself that I can still meet ambitious goals with my health. Will I reach that sub 300 pound mark by April 2nd? only God knows but I have a strong feeling that I will get there before April 2nd because in lieu of a personal crisis that is happening for us right now which will not get more detailed than that as far as my blog is concerned I must keep focused and I must finish what I have started and take my health back.
This week I will predict that the motorcycle photos will return and I am also looking for a new all time low weight, again, am I ambitious? you betcha! if I do not show a loss come Friday it matters not because it is who I am now to continue down my path and get as healthy as I possibly can, I actually get down if I have to miss a workout and cannot wait for spring to get here again so that I can get back on on my bike on those days that the gym is not an option.
That's all I got for ya on this cold windy Wednesday so it shall end here.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Sometimes its the things that we don't see coming that get us worse and sometimes its the things that we know are there that have the largest impact, Then there are those days that go perfectly and nothing could have been done differently else the day would cease being perfect and then all at once a rug is pulled from beneath our feet, as we collapse to the ground we watch helplessly as the expensive vase falls in slow motion towards the hardwood floor. Trying to stay on track and do everything correctly so that by weeks end the scale shows me what I want to see at times becomes more than a challenge while sitting besides the eggs in the bowl as shiny chrome beaters that loom over head get closer and closer, I do believe that I have a good idea how those eggs feel after this weekend.
I did stick to the plan as much as possible though Saturday I did have to make some choices because of circumstances not in my control where my intake was concerned, I could have made better choices but I didn't and it is what it is at this point. I have not been to the gym since Thursday for more than one reason and I will share one of them in this post, I am sick! doncha love kids sometimes? My son got a bad cold Wednesday, Thursday was my daughters turn, Friday Wify got it and by Saturday afternoon it was my turn. Today I am feeling a bit better and may try to make it to the gym at least for a bike ride because I must keep my weight going the way that I need it to which is as we all know in a downward direction. This morning as I emptied my bladder I decided that I would step on the scale because I knew that I was not as hydrated as I should have been by what I was seeing and not too much to my surprise I am up in weight by 4 pounds from Friday, 334.4 flashed onto the display but I know that I did not eat 14000 extra calories over the weekend and concluded that it has to be the weekend that I had and some stress poking its head into my life right now that is causing the "up" in weight. I am not saying that me not going to the gym doesn't have anything to do with it and I am not making an excuse, otherwise I could just not mention it but I also know there is no way I had 14000 extra calories either, again it is what it is and we will see what Friday says.
It is starting to feel like the movie "Ground hog day" with the being up post weekend for me, hopefully I can make Friday feel that way as well because I have had a loss each week for the last couple. The plan is to drink 2.5 gallons of H2O and green tea today, hit the gym for at least a light workout as I am feeling somewhat better today, and stay within 1700 calories for the day and try to not let stress control my actions the way that they demand doing so. This week I am planning to post a weigh in each day just to keep me on my toes, its a different kind of week for me so I need something a tad off the beaten path to keep me paying attention to what I am doing.
That's all I got today, its a bit random, a bit honest and more than a bit of a forced post because I am not exactly in a writing kind of mood but hey! that's life now ain't it?! keep on keepin on and all that and I will be back tomorrow with a new post, I will weigh myself in the am and post the results for your entertainment and the world keeps turning.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
This week has tested me a bit where stress goes, not anything weight loss related and then at the same time weight loss related things were there as well, they are always there no matter what else is happening, sometimes I feel like I need to be tested to keep me on my toes. Over the weekend I ate salty foods and ended up being up in weight on Monday, of course it was retention weight mostly because of the amount that it was but seeing a large bump in that number on the scale plays havoc with attitude towards losing weight. I have said it before and I will repeat it now and many times in the future as long as I am writing this blog, weight loss is more of a mental game than anything else, if a person can pull the reigns in on the mental part the physical part is easy.
Easy? you are out of your damned mind mister Meatball! that cheese cake literally calls my name when I walk past! I NEED to eat! we all do right? we have to eat to live! damn you and your "its all mental" attitude! Indeed it is mental, yes yes we do need to eat to live BUT what we need to learn is that we SHOULD NOT Live to eat. We will all have up days/weeks and we will all have down days/weeks but if every time that a down week peeked at us we gave up we would never be able to accomplish anything at all. It was a long time for me before I had a week where I did not lose at least something when I started on my trip to the half which was huge mentally. It made me feel unstoppable which just fueled me to go further with the program, but when a gain is seen, or even a week where we break even and there isn't a loss it somehow smashes everything else that we have done to that point. Why does a single off week control us like that? is it because we were just waiting for that single moment to scream "You failed! now stuff your pie hole with tasty goodness! I knew this would happen" are we expecting to fail? if you expect to fail you will fail, and that goes for anything not just weight loss.
Physically our bodies only need so much nutrition to function and anything past that is gravy..sometimes literally! somewhere in our lives we used food in place of something else as a coping mechanism and its something that I still to this day dislike admitting but its the truth. I ate because I like the way food tastes, that's my story and I'm stickin to it! but there has to be some underlying reason for it or else I would have been able to stop eating that way before the idea of dying young and rotund stopped me. That is where the mental part comes in, its just a habit and though they are hard to break it is only a habit and can be broken, my body has never needed a Macho Nacho, 3 cheese burgers with only ketchup, a grande beef burrito, a 99 cents potato burrito and an order of deluxe chili cheese fries worth of calories and yet that was on the menu many nights ON MY WAY HOME FROM WORK! yes that was after the day was done and I was coming home from work at 10:00 pm! why? I suppose for the same reason a fella climbs a mountain.
What are you getting at man? a mental game? ordering half of the menu items at Del Taco? No matter what happens we have to keep on keepin on unless what we are looking for is failure because giving up is admitting defeat. There will be times when it feels as if giving up is the only option and we have all been there but what does giving up gain you besides weight? We all fall down in life the important part is that we get back up because if we do not what do we have besides a great view of the ground?
Tomorrow I weigh in for week two of my latest challenge, I have a strong feeling that I will have a loss but if I don't will I stop trying? I don't think that I enjoyed the view of the ground so I don't think I will stay there if I do not see a loss on the scale. I have lost more than 200 pounds now since starting and I have had my share of bad weeks ie: failures and if I stopped going at this like it was my job in life I would likely be back to my old rounder self by now. I guess my point put simply is that no matter what happens all we can do is our best, we will have slips, we will have less than perfect months, weeks, days, hours because we are all flawed somewhere otherwise we wouldn't be in these situations and you would have no reason to be reading the blog of a former 500 pound fella, If the difficulty of the situation is the lock consistency is the key and every one of us can be consistent with good habits if we want to be.
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