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Do your thang Honey!

Thursday, November 19, 2009


This week I have been focusing on the gym and apparently when I am in the gym I am focusing on working out, this is a good thing yes? I got in a pretty good work out yesterday which consisted of 20 minutes on a stationary bike, 20 minutes on the arc-trainer 40 minutes of weight lifting and a 10 minute cool down walk on the treadmill, all in all it was a great thing but today I am really feeling the effects of the weight lifting and believe that I may have over done it slightly as my left bicep is very sore.

I stayed within my calories for the day coming in at 1900 on the dot which is 40 lower than my projected calories with the whey protein shake that I drink on days that I lift so I am happy with that number, I drank a gallon each of green tea and straight H2O so hydrated I was and obviously by my first paragraph I made it to the gym so a good day indeed. Tomorrow is Friday but I haven't decided if I am stepping onto the scale in the am just yet and I really don't have a reason why other than I feel like I am doing what I need to do, I am getting cardio into my days, eating within my calories and I have added lifting weights again (post surgery) and though my weight is what it is I feel like I am starting to focus on over all health a tad more. I still have a lot of weight to lose but I also have a lot of other health goals to hit and one of those goals is to gain some mass back that was lost during my weight loss process so I want to start looking at that as a secondary goal for myself.



I mentioned that I got a good work out in at the gym and I must have really been in a zone because about 10 minutes into my arc-trainer workout Christina Augilera "ain't no other man" came into my ear phones through my mp3 player, now I have that song on there because my daughter loves it and will dance like crazy as soon as she hears it..ok ok I have never lied on this blog and I won't start now, I really like that song! as soon as you stop laughing I will continue with my story..go ahead I will wait..
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anyways, between verses there is a dubbed voice that says "do your thang honey!" and I guess that I was really going or into it because I said OUT LOUD "do your thang honey!" which was followed by a "oh $hit" when I realized that I had said out loud, then me laughing, not like a little chuckle but a full on laugh almost triggered a case of unstoppable giggles but I did catch it and was able to get it into control. Now I am unsure if anyone heard me say either statement but there is a very good chance at least one person heard it, yes..heard the 330 pound big ol bearded guy that was going wild on the arc-trainer and now laughing almost uncontrollably say loud and proud "do your thang honey!" and later on my drive home I started laughing about the whole thing, in fact I am smiling hard as I type this, Have I mentioned that I enjoy going to the gym? I am unsure if I can go back now without ridicule but hey!

Over all I am doing pretty good this week and am hoping to continue that momentum and turn it into negative numbers again very soon, my surgery knocked me off track slightly because of not being able to work out and being limited with some other things but I am healing up nicely and almost back in full swing again. With that I do believe the end has come to another mind blowing episode of as the fat guy turns, we laugh, we cry and sometimes we have no idea whats going on but it is what it is and I thank you for following along.

Never EVER forget to do your thang honey!

As Ever
Me

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUDE-E911 11/21/2009 5:23AM

    lol been there done that!! most people have their headphones on too thank goodness!! So they may not of heard......and really who cares!! If they can stand to see me dripping sweat and jiggling on the eliptical, they can stand a little singing from me haha ........Glad you are back on track!! Feels good I bet!
I also can relate to the sore biceps!! mine are killing me too, I had to ask the instructor please focus on something else today!! lol im dying here,....so she focused on the other side...well now it just hurts all over thanks for making it even!!
Does it seem to you to hurt not the next day but the day after?? whats up with that? I go on tues to core class and thurs. I think im good on wed and by thurs...ouch!!
\keep up the good work!!

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ALEXSGIRL1 11/20/2009 8:27PM

    i think it was great that you were in the moment and relaxed. im happy that your happy at the gym. more people should go because you can do your own thang there honey. emoticonloved it good blog. emoticon

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SIMPLE_TAILOR 11/20/2009 2:26PM

    Our inner monologue shuts down at the most inappropriate times.

Keep on doing your thang!!

ttyl

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ETHEL_MERMAID 11/20/2009 9:10AM

    We NEED more people like you who bring such fun to the gym! You banished someone else's drudgery ;) I know I would've welcomed such an "outburst"! Do your thang, honey!

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SNEAKYGREG 11/20/2009 8:22AM

    LOL you should just say that everytime while on the arc trainer then start laughing, then you would be crazy bearded guy on the arc trainer

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FLAWLESSCUBE 11/19/2009 11:33PM

    I think it says alot of someone who can sing in public. very strong and probably a bit demented but what a scene. I laughed, sorry but the scene in my head can't be nearly as good as the real thing but you keep on rocking at the gym and like always not everything is measured by the scale. which you already know. emoticon

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ELYMWX 11/19/2009 11:22PM

    Poker Face!

Have you seen Christopher Walken's performance?

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VEEJAY3 11/19/2009 9:20PM

    Now why doesn't it surprise me at all that we have that song in common on our iPods???

Got a little Lady GaGa on there, too?

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AKELAZ 11/19/2009 7:45PM

    AGAIN!! - I am riveted by your blog. Can imagine how funny/embarrasing your trip to the gym was - well - forgive me - Christine Aguilera is pretty embarrassing any time. And you a Jim Morrison fan!! ;-)) . . . All that aside you made me smile - and today has not been a smiley day. Thanks.

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RBRASHER 11/19/2009 6:20PM

    LOL! I love it! Just think of it as adding to every one else's enjoyment for the day!

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LISAMG1220 11/19/2009 6:13PM

    I am at a loss for words! For once!! hahahaha!!! I would have loved to been there to see the look on your face!! Thank you for the laugh!! I needed it so bad!! Have a great day!

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PUMPKINFACE73 11/19/2009 4:17PM

    LMAO....so guess what...you are now the...

"Do your thang" guy @ the gym
you have a new name :)

oh...and you got me laughing at my desk on an otherwise VERY gloomy day here at the office, and I will never be able to listen to that song again without a chuckle, chuck!



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MSROXIE2002 11/19/2009 2:15PM

    wOW tHAT IS REALLY FUNNY. TEHN I LOOKED AT YOUR PAGE. DUDE THAT IS AWESOME!!

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MADZOE 11/19/2009 1:53PM

    I'm with Sarah. There are a few songs that when I'm out doing my outside walks, I can't help but put some shake in the tank! And I've just about falling off my treadmill at home a few times cause I was getting crazy. And I love that song too! Also her Candy Man song!

Glad to hear you are enjoying the gym so much. Keep on keepin' on!
Happy Thursday:)

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LAURIE5658 11/19/2009 1:45PM

    Botzzz! You lost control of your giggles! I picture that entire scenario in my mind and I can't help but snicker. Botzzz, if you don't feel it to weigh in tomorrow, don't. If you are HAPPY, I mean happy, with the way you are feeling...skip it. you will know what to do.

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TELERIE 11/19/2009 1:38PM

    Hahha, do your thang, honey! Have fun with it!

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RUNTRILAUGH 11/19/2009 1:25PM

    Thanks for sharing!
Love it!!! Its soooo easy to get lost in good music and a great workout!!!

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DACIUS 11/19/2009 1:25PM

    Us guys all have a song that we are not proud of. But you lose a bit of the man card for singing it out loud. LOL!!!!

I can see it now. you sing your line. The person near you hears it and looks in your general direction. They see this big, tough, bearded guyand look around you to see if someone is on the other side of you. They then do a double take and end up with a resounding "Nah" as they continue their work out. LOL!!!!


Great job this week. I know it must feel great to get back into the swing of things.

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DAVEOZ 11/19/2009 1:14PM

    Too funny.

emoticon

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1972ROSES 11/19/2009 12:58PM

    Ha! Ha! You are too funy!

As I get older and wiser, I make absolutely no appologies for the music I like! Why should our ages limit our exposure to good music? As well as good books, I am just about to finish book #3 of Diary of a Wimpy Kid. And no, it hasn't been written by BOTZZZ.

By the way, I love that song!

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THECOOLESTSARAH 11/19/2009 12:57PM

    That's hilarious. I'm SO glad that happened. :)

I have been known to bust out some awesome dance moves when a song comes on that I like while on the treadmill, and I also mouth the words to all the songs and rock out with abandon. There's no shame in my game.

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CAROLINA_KOUKLA 11/19/2009 12:52PM

  You are so funny!!
"Do your thang honey!" haha :)
I laughed out loud @ work just now :P

There are times I have the gym to myself very early in the morning and I've been known to belt out my fave songs here and there :)

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Comfort, do you have it?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

6:45 pm, its dark and cold outside walking up to the doors and opening them revealed a new place not as familiar as earlier hours, people scurrying around covered in sweat and filled with determination after a hard day put in at the office the work crowd is at the gym. Shoulder to shoulder standing on machines and benches, heart rates up and gazing around the room for the next available machine to open up so that the workout can continue. Angry face Mohawk man pedals madly on a recumbent bike and the movie Batman pops into my head as I think "Why so serious?" and onto my stationary bike I go. Plug in and press the quick start button, level 11 for 20 minutes and off to the races it is, I notice there are more people than I have ever seen in there at one time as I catch a woman on an arc-trainer looking into my direction as she begins her workout.

Scanning around I look for Wify but can't find her among the crowd and on I go pedaling, 20 minutes comes fast and off of the bike I step. Head over to the cleaning station to grab a paper towel to wipe down the bike but the mature woman in front of me grabbed the bottle to spray her machine down instead of spraying the towel and wiping so I follow her and ask "Can I get a squirt?" to which she replies "Where do ya want it hon?" a smile and a quick squirt later an empty arc-trainer is spotted and off I go again. Stepping around a small gathering of young girls loitering in the isle between the arc-trainers and the ellipticals I notice another lady eyeing my arc-trainer but I make it there in time to claim the machine, a short stretch, 20 minutes set into the quick start and within a few seconds I spot wify on some strength machines across the gym.

Giant arm tiny leg guy was there as was intense runner guy who puts the treadmill at an extreme incline and does sprints at a very high speed, though A.D.D. girl was not anywhere to be found a plethora of others were. A 10 minute cool down walk on the treadmill at 3.0 MPH on a 3.5% incline ended the night and my workout was complete for the evening, Wify completed her workout and we headed home.

Something interesting occured to me shortly after leaving, I was comfortable, not comfortable in the way a person gets because they have to pretend to be but comfortable because I was, I belonged there and the fact that it was wall to wall people most seemingly more fit than me didn't matter one bit and I did what I needed to do and did not think twice about anything. This is so opposite my initial gym expectations and in such a short time that I would reccomend that anyone who is hesitant about joining a gym because of atmosphere variables not be, no one cares about anyone else or what they are doing and if they do its kept to themselves because if a 330 pound guy can go wild on an arc-trainer and feel fully comfortable about it in a gym full of people anyone can.

I have to wonder if I am "goin wild on the arc trainer fat dude" to anyone?

This is my groove, I will not leave it.

As Ever
Me

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IWILLOVERCOME1 11/22/2009 12:45AM

    Great write. I used to be intimidated at the Y too. I always felt like I did things "weird" but after a week or so, I looked around and realized that most everyone there has funny quirks or the way they dress. I work out in a skirt with a pair of bike shorts on underneath so I know people look at me. But, theres the old guy who ALWAYS puts a white towel or hanky on top of his bald head while he rides the bike. Or the older guys who come in blue jeans. I dont look any weirder than they do. And, I see people doing all kinds of their own exercises that make them look silly, but hey, if it works for them, then "go for it", I think. O.. then theres "the crazy lady who runs the treadmill faster than she can keep up so she's clinging to the control panel for dear life" Sometimes the gym is just plain entertaining.

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CRAFTYPATCH 11/21/2009 9:25AM

    So funny! I give people names like that too! I love to people watch and am sure that the people watchers probably call me something like "old red head who loves the treadmill" or better yet "woman who didn't know you have to start pedaling the elliptical before it will turn on." I'm sure I had lots of people laughing at me that day.

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LOGCABINCOOK 11/20/2009 9:45AM

    Awesome... makes me want to go to the rec center just for the people watching! When I was in a training stint many moons (okay years) ago, there was this group of us MWF 5:30 am folks and it felt like we were this little pre-Breakfast Club bunch. Mismatched and there for a reason. Thanks for reviving the memories!

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LOGCABINCOOK 11/20/2009 9:43AM

    Awesome... makes me want to go to the rec center just for the people watching! When I was in a training stint many moons (okay years) ago, there was this group of us MWF 5:30 am folks and it felt like we were this little pre-Breakfast Club bunch. Mismatched and there for a reason. Thanks for reviving the memories!

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SIMPLE_TAILOR 11/20/2009 8:25AM

    This is so good to hear after your initial trepidation about the gym. I'm also glad it's something that the two of you are doing together.

ttyl

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DANCINGPENGUIN 11/19/2009 1:10PM

    Fascinating. I actually don't pay much attention to the other people at the Y. The employees, maybe, but not the other exercisers. There's a woman I recognize because she looks like an old friend. A few other familiar strangers. But mostly I just get in there and get a treadmill. Our treadmills face out, so everyone else is behind me. I do my own thing and then leave.

The desk worker, though, is secretly, "Idiot who cannot remember my name even though I'm here 3 times a week"!

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PRUPLEBEAR 11/19/2009 9:14AM

    Too funny!

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GODZDESIGN95 11/19/2009 9:04AM

    Part of the reason I do not the gym scene people scoping on you. My head game. Exercising at home for me. But to all those who do the gym scene good for you/

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SNEAKYGREG 11/19/2009 8:30AM

    I love the names. People watching has always been fun to me but I never made up names for them but now... I think it just got more fun

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LISAMG1220 11/18/2009 6:54PM

    OMG too funny!!!! I have a few i have seen at my gym I would like to add to the list!
The "butt cheeks hanging out of his shorts" dude....also nick named "entirely tooooo much fake n bake" and "DUDE check me out!!!"
The "PLEASE someone buy her a sports bra" Chick (she was actually sprinting on a treadmill! I was very worried she was going to put herself in traction)
The "socializing burns calories....right????" people. There is a whole gaggle of these at my gym! I just want to say are you here to work your body or jaws????
The "This is my machine....get over it" chick. She uses the ab crunch machine for 30 minutes!! I am serious and then shoots you crazy eyes if you come wait for her to be done!
I would like to think that mine is "Impressive drive and determination" chick....but it is probably more like the "DUDE should we call and ambulance for her b/c I think she is gonna hurt herself on that thing" Lady! I was on the arc trainer the other day working it and this older lady was on the elliptical beside me. She kept shooting me concerned looks! I just smiled and kept on trucking! Thanks for the laugh!!!!

Comment edited on: 11/18/2009 6:54:40 PM

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KNH771 11/18/2009 6:36PM

    You make me smile! I thought I was the only one who came up with little names for people at the gym... and you're right, no one cares about anyone else there unless you're being an inconsiderate PITA (pain in the ...). When I weighed my heaviest, I was worried too, but it didn't take long to realize that I was agitated over nothing.

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VEEJAY3 11/18/2009 2:42PM

    Oh you're funny, as usual. I thought my husband and I were the only ones who named people that way. Our favorite at Starbucks is "Knows What She's Doing Girl." And since I loved KSIGMA's list of gym people, I'll add:
"Must Be Training For A Competition Woman"
"Black Socks and Fanny Pack Man" (what the hell's in the fanny pack???)
"All About The Biceps Man"
"All About My Boob Job Woman"
and the
"We Only Come Here To Gossip Tag Team"

I'm probably "Round Curly Girl Who Laughs At Whatever's On Her iPod" (you know, Botzzzz, that I laugh every time "Fat-Bottom Girls" pops up during my workout!)


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PUMPKINFACE73 11/18/2009 2:14PM

    I love all the names for everyone, sounds like the location I go to...you are missing..."eye candy"...(every gym has one or 2 of those :)

Great that you are comfy there and feel at home, maybe one of thesse days i will have to come to check it out (seeing that we are members of the same darn place :)

Bea


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HEALTHY4JEANNE 11/18/2009 1:51PM

    I recognize some of the people you mention at the gym.
I love the arc machine. It is a crazy work out. I love the feeling of accomplishment when I am done a good work out on it.
Great blog,
Jeanne

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BARIBAL 11/18/2009 1:50PM

    Great blog. Now you got me wondering what nickname THEY have for me emoticon

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FRECKS96 11/18/2009 1:41PM

    Thanks for the motivation, I am considreing getting a membership for Christmas. Also, love the names, I do the same.

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KSIGMA1222 11/18/2009 1:14PM

    I am "Tall sweaty dude who seemingly never stops or leaves" even the trainers do a double take look with "You aren't done yet?" look on their faces which may tell me I workout to long.

Other names for people at the gym
"Enter 60 minutes and workout for 10"
"Talks more than anything else"
"Cellphone workout person"
"Takes longer to get ready to do cardio than they spend doing cardio"
"Mimics other people working out because they do not know what they are doing"
(Ok I try to help them if they want it and I am not in the middle of something)
"Really jeans to workout in, to each their own"
"For god's sake eat something"
"Fake baked leathery skin look at me!"
"Sits on machines in between sets"
"Wears three layers or more of clothing and cannot figure out why the gym always seems so hot?"
"DONT LOOK AT ME!!!" many of those
"Why yes you do work out!"
"Yep you have muscle, please stop kissing them."
"Coach's hanky guy then touches everything"
"Are you talking to me?"

emoticon

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ETHEL_MERMAID 11/18/2009 1:01PM

    Your writing is so enjoyable - thanks! I used to go to a gym, and no, nobody's concerned with anyone else's physique. They're all so busy with an eye on their own personal prize that other than a few kind words or other bit of chit-chat, they're all seeking one thing: progress! It didn't take me long at all to feel comfortable in that setting, and I hope you do, too.

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BECKTY 11/18/2009 12:29PM

    Too funny!

I want to feel that way about the running and about going to a gym. I am sure I will be there before I know it.

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DACIUS 11/18/2009 12:00PM

    Good thought. I used to go to the gym at 5:00 AM because no one was there. I used the excuse that it was the only convenient time for me. But in reality, it was that I did not want people to see me jiggle on the treadmill or sweat a gallon of sweat on the stationary bike.

Now I like going in the afternoon. I am very good friends with the trainers and when they are not there I am somehow saddled with the go to guy for advice or a spot. It is all really fun to me.

I think I would classify as a "why so serious" person in your gym though. I am not much of a talker while I am working out and I know I have this serious look on my face when I run. LOL!!!

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DDOORN 11/18/2009 11:57AM

    Sounds like you're right at home there...!

I'd LOVE to someday have the time for a gym / fitness center...doubt it'll happen before I retire in oh...say 8-10 years from now...lol! Till then it's my treadmill, bike, kayaking, cross country skiing, nordic & trail walking, dumb bells and resistance bands...!

Don



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1972ROSES 11/18/2009 11:56AM

    Did you ever notice that there seems to be only a handful of regulars? That we were intimidated by people at the gym that aren't committed to a healthy life style like we are?
Congrats on becoming a regular. Next they'll be calling your name like Norm when he enters Cheers.

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PINKCOCONUT 11/18/2009 11:47AM

    I must say, although I'm not a gym person, I do miss the regular characters when I joined last year for winter and hope they're there again this year! There certainly is a comfortable air around it when you go there day after day with the same people. Like a weird, much more fitter than myself second family. Even though we don't talk to eachother....

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THECOOLESTSARAH 11/18/2009 11:44AM

    You DO belong there - you are their people. :)

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PATRICIAANN46 11/18/2009 11:39AM

  I LOVE your nicknames for the (GYM PEOPLE)!!!!! Very funny..... With your sense of humor and great attitude, I predict success in your future.....no matter how much weight you do or do not lose. emoticon

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SLIMMERJESSE 11/18/2009 11:38AM

    Love the way you express yourself. And, of course, the motivation you exemplify. Have a wonderful day.

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A turning point, can you see around the bend?

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


Here I am, just me, doing what I need to do and its turning into something that I want to do, or let me say it differently, something that I crave. Not so long ago it was that random slim jim or 12 at the gas station that I wanted, or a slice of cake at a birthday party that would rival some entire cakes, or a Big D chili cheese burger (some of you New England people may recognize what that is) and now things are so different its like someone else is where I was or am. Today my little one is feeling under the weather and is home from school and I will miss my afternoon at the gym because of it, I am disappointed that I cannot go, I am looking for a sitter for this evening so that me and the boss lady may head out to get a work out in. I am amazed still at how I feel about working out again, I hear people say things like "Blah I have to go to the gym tonight" or "I don't feel like working out today but I know I have to so I will" and its not how I feel about it. I can't wait until its time to head out and get to the gym, getting there and seeing A.D.D. girl on the arc trainer every day with the tv on, an ipod in her ears and a book perched below the tv screen all while working harder than I have ever seen a person work out, or the 4 stooges, four old men that work harder than I have ever seen an old guy work out, hell harder than a lot of young people! they do work out in between making fun of one another but none the less every day they are there.



I had lost that part of me with the weight gain, He was in there but hiding, maybe just too depressed to come out and play or perhaps it was easier to eat and sulk, I am still unsure to this day but I tell you that the other guy, you know..the bigger fella, he will never be back because this is too much fun. I said in an older post once upon a time ago

"Once exercise is a habit you will no longer think of it as anything but what you WANT to do, It will not be sugary treats or greasy burgers that consume your thoughts, you will instead crave a rapid heart rate and beading sweat, the burn that comes with a good workout will be the "treat" that drives your every second of the day and before you know it healthy living will happen right before your eyes, astounded and impressed with yourself victory will be yours"

~Me~

and I have to say that statement has never been truer for me as it is this day. I have replaced a need/want for the sticky goodness of a Cinibon for a burn in my legs, this is what I crave.

I have accomplished something that I never thought possible, I lost more than 200 pounds and I did it on my own, which isn't actually fair to say because my family has been an immeasurably large resource for inspiration and support along the way. This blog Has been big in helping me keep on track until I could get to this point as well, logging my days on here along with some of my conclusions and ah ha moments helps also because there have been times where I have gone back into my own blogs and re-read them so that I could focus, there is so much that has helped me stay on track. One of the craziest things to me is that I have already lost more than 200 pounds and I still have a ways to go which can be disheartening at times because I do want to lose another 70 pounds and against the 200 that has already been lost it seems a small task but it is still 70 pounds! and the last 70 to boot so I anticipate it getting a bit harder the smaller I get. Can I presume that I will get there? I mean all the way down to below 265 pounds? I cannot presume anything because there are too many factors in life hence my situation in the first place but can I say that I will do everything that I can to get that last 70 pounds off? You already know the answer to that question if you have read any of my blog at all, I look forward to the day that I can say I have lost 50% of my total body weight.

Today I leave you with a Buddhist proverb.

"If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking"...

Which direction are you facing?

As Ever
Me

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRAFTYPATCH 11/21/2009 9:30AM

    I am just now starting to get to the point where I crave going to the gym. I don't necessarily always work out as hard as other days, but I know that I want to go and feel the satisfaction of a good sweat each day.

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 11/18/2009 1:07PM

    LOL. I hear you on the exercise addiction.

I went to CA for the weekend for a family reunion and did I not drag my poor sister to a 24 hour fitness in Sacramento for Precor AMT and abs floor work? At 7am?

And then the next morning dragged both her and our cousin to the hotel fitness room at 7am sharp for elliptical/bike/treadmill and free weights? (routine stolen from my bodypump class)

The last time these people saw me in person, I looked like this:
http://www.flickr.com/phot
os/origamifreak/4114439077/in/s
et-72157622699695401
You get one (1) guess as to which one is me. These poor relatives had no idea what they were in for. hehehe

;-)

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ALIZA77 11/18/2009 10:05AM

    funny!

at my gym i've got:

funky bald lady, INCREDIBLY hot 80 year old guy who swimms laps like phelps, see through bathing suit guy and gal, don't -splash-me-because- i don't want to get wet-even though i'm in the pool lady, strange lady with the thick braids, old lady in a sweater, corderoy pants, and full face of makeup on the weight machines-and me; really fat lady hauling herself out of the pool, (can i get any heaver? )

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SNEAKYGREG 11/18/2009 8:28AM

    I don't know how you do it but everytime I read your blog I get inspired more and more. I hear you on the workout though, the more you do the more you want to do it. Kinda like weight loss crack emoticon

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JBMT08 11/17/2009 8:09PM

    This is an amazing blog!!! We are all facing in the RIGHT direction.....I will think of this every time I have a blip in my journey!!! THANK YOU!!! I am dying to try the arc trainer!! BTW, thanks to your blog a few weeks ago, I made my own version of the baked ziti with zucchini ( I forgot about the broccoli until after I put the casserole in the over). I LOVE IT!!! THANK you for showing us how it is done!! emoticon

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DDKITTYP1MP 11/17/2009 6:59PM

    What a great blog! Way to go!!! Losing 200 pounds is amazing!!! I cannot wait until I'm at the point when I crave exercise! Looking forward to it!

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LALAFLOWERS 11/17/2009 6:57PM

    glad that you've found your inner athlete! what a great thing!!!! Hope your little one is better soon...

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DESERT_BIRD 11/17/2009 6:40PM

    Great blog! Congratulations on your success so far... I have no doubt you will do everything you can to lose the 70 pounds! You're right, there are no guarantees, but are you definitely headed in the right direction!

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TELERIE 11/17/2009 6:18PM

    Oh, I'm walking along in the right direction right now - most definitely! And so it seems are you! You're so right working out is a treat- and what FUN it is to have found our inner athletes!

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AKELAZ 11/17/2009 6:03PM

    Wow!! I love your blogs - inspire me - make me think - and what I think at this moment is not about me - but about you. You WILL get there - I just know it.

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GLOBALKEEWEE 11/17/2009 5:49PM

    I, too, have been inspired by the sight of a the DayQuil and NyQuil liquid caps side by side. Oh, you meant the red and blue pills of Matrix repute? Or perhaps you have found the little bottle that says "drink me" to Alice?

No more drugs for Keewee...

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VGIMLET 11/17/2009 5:32PM

    Great blog. So, there's something WRONG with watching TV, listening to an ipod and reading a book at the same time one is on the elli..I mean treadmill?

emoticon

Very inspirational, as always. Thanks for sharing.

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TRINITY4001 11/17/2009 5:28PM

    Great blog post...I, too, am stealing your proverb quote! Love it!

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ALEXSGIRL1 11/17/2009 5:13PM

    nice blog and i love the proverb. i have the exercise bug also and hate when i miss. i am happier. i even miss that heart pounding feeling you get when you work hard, alas as hard as i work out my pacemaker will not allow me to get that feeling. but i do work hard. you are an inspiration.

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EUGENERUGOSA 11/17/2009 4:28PM

    very good proverb. Maybe I should put my add to use on the arc trainer & it won't be so hard ;0)

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LISAMG1220 11/17/2009 4:09PM

    Loving the proverb. My direction is towards a healthier me! : )

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ZIRCADIA 11/17/2009 4:02PM

    HAHAHA at ADD ArcTrainer girl -- that's funny! :)

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MFARRELL94 11/17/2009 3:48PM

    I am so glad I found your blogs today. I reading them from the first blogs the are a bit closer to where I am in my progress, but so helpful to see where I can be. And I'm so stealing any aha and lightbulb moments I can to help on this journey. I'm facing the right way, I just have to remember to walk. emoticon

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SIMPLE_TAILOR 11/17/2009 3:39PM

    I guess I need to turn around and get moving.

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KSIGMA1222 11/17/2009 3:18PM

    There is no end to this journey, milestones yes but end no. Many may call if we give up or go back an end but that it is not. We are also never done with wanting results, which will drive us as long as we temper it with an understanding that we are happy we have done what we have done and will just always want more.

Not sure how you handle all these comments and such.

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PINKCOCONUT 11/17/2009 3:13PM

    I'm with ya! I'm at my final 40lbs and it seems like a LOT but we'll get there! We're both facing the right direction!

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LAURIE5658 11/17/2009 2:56PM

    I always call the last of the poundage to lose as "hard lard". That is where I am today and it is truly exactly what I thought it would be. You will get to those last bits of poundage but hopefully it will be easier for you.

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DAVEOZ 11/17/2009 2:56PM

    Nice proverb.

Nice indeed. Now I'll make a Uturn and make sure I don't go to the burger joint. Thanks for reminding and inspiring.

Keep it up...


emoticon

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KNH771 11/17/2009 2:50PM

    I wish I was where you are today. I'm having one of those days when I would kill for a cupcake! Congrats on the progress you've made.

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USARUNNERGIRL 11/17/2009 2:41PM

    I am moved by your blog. I too have turned my cravings for food for a craving for working out. I enjoy being hot, sweaty, and being pushed. I am walking in the right direction. You are doing such a wonderful job with your weight loss and are very inspiring. I am glad that I found your blog today it was a much needed read.

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DACIUS 11/17/2009 2:37PM

    Great blog. I recently had a thought. If I had a remote that would fast forward the days until I get to my target weight. Would I use that remote? After some thought I answered it with a resounding "NO!!!". You know why?

The comment you made on a previous blog, about how you had to run out to the car and leave quickly. That feeling you had when you realized what you did. That amazing fullness, the warmth you get over your accomplishment.

Those tiny moments are the truely amazing about changing our lives. I had one when I beat my 5 mile run one night by an astounding 4 more miles. I jumped around like I won the lottery. The average passer by probably thought I was "special" in a not so good way.

Enjoy the heck out of these next few months as you cascade to your target goal. These are going to be the very best memories in your journey. The "ah hah" and "whoo-hoo" moments. The "H3LL YEAH" moments also, can't forget those.

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SLIMMERJESSE 11/17/2009 2:28PM

    I'm inspired by your success, attitude, and determination. There's no doubt that you will achieve the rest of your goal. And you express so many thoughts I've had throughout this process. Not to mention, you're a terrific writer. Thanks for this!

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JUSTAGURL2335 11/17/2009 2:21PM

    I'm stealing that quote!! :)

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TUBBYSHUKER370 11/17/2009 2:19PM

    I am close to getting there. Thanks for the push.


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RENA1965 11/17/2009 2:11PM

    hang in there, just keep on grinding it..

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MOEDANCING 11/17/2009 2:11PM

    Zeus... :) been gone a long time my friend... something called me to your page first and foremost

which direction am i facing?

as ever

moe

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DDOORN 11/17/2009 2:09PM

    Walking right with you BOTZZZ! Woo hoo! How sweet it is! :-)

Don

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Life is not easy...

Friday, November 13, 2009


At 534 pounds.

When you weigh as much as three full grown adults life is not a bowl of cherries, everything that you do is a struggle and when you are there that is not how you see it, mostly because it is the life that you are living and there is seemingly nothing that can be done about it. Basic tasks need to get done no matter what weight a person may be, I don't mean the laundry or the dishes or even spending time with the ones you love, I am speaking of a more basic set of things like walking, taking a shower or getting dressed, these things become huge challenges when you weigh more than a quarter of a ton and not a single one of us wants to admit weakness so we suck it up and do everything in pain and or discomfort so that we don't need to admit how weak we actually are. Bitterness becomes a defense, withdrawn attitudes are the flavor of the day and that's coming from me, the guy that laughs at everything, I am that guy making jokes no matter what even at my highest weight, ask anyone that knows me personally, it was the truth as its just my personality but it was more of a smoke screen to cover up all of the fuvked up $hit that I was dealing with at the time where my health was concerned.


Circa 1976

Sitting around with thoughts like "is today the day the firemen will have to cut a hole in the side of my house to get me out because I had a heart attack" floating around your gray matter is not all cotton candy and bunny rabbits, that kind of $hit eats away at a person. Imagine that every day you wake up and 45 seconds after struggling out of bed as gracefully as your size allows so that no one knows how hard it is while walking towards the bathroom, chest pounding harder and harder with every step taken Bamn! that thought pops into your head, will today be the day that my family has to watch 12 firemen try to extract me from the hallway because it was the day my heart popped, every day after that thought materialized in my head my heart did pop and into that spiral downward we fall again. It is a feeling of unfathomable misery on a daily and every day gets a bit lower, every day that the idea of losing everything because of your size digs deeper into your bones and nothing can be done but to acknowledge silently that your days are in fact numbered if this path is the one to be followed, but still day in and day out down the stairs and a half of a box of cereal with full fat milk goes down with a coke and a smile.


August 2007, Largest size

I'll tell you, it sucks being that heavy and feeling like there is nothing that can be done, being trapped in your own skin is not a feeling that I wish upon anyone. Day in and day out food is there to comfort, and I don't mean comfort in any other way than it tasted good, it did not require any effort to slip it into the abyss and it tasted good, I think I mentioned that it tasted good right? and we grow. One day all of the fear starts getting the better of you and suddenly all you can think about is how you don't want to end up in the local news paper as the fella that was cut from the house while the scumbag media tries to interview your family on the porch with the hole in the wall as a back drop and still you can't stop yourself from lifting that fork to lips and eating bite after bite. The indentation on the couch is eerily taking the shape of your ass and it hurts to do anything, standing, walking, sitting down I mean everything and hiding all of the pain because of pride becomes second nature.


September 2009, most current photo of me

Then there is clothing, Let me tell you that buying a 6xl shirt or size 56 jeans is not exactly easy on the wallet, buying a tee shirt and a pair of jeans can set a person of that size back $70 to $95 dollars for a simple off brand tee shirt and the big and tall brand jeans. Now think about how these clothes are not really the most stylish things on the planet along with the fact that they are not made from the highest quality materials and need replacing often and it kind of sucks, though a superficial wound compared to the real issues of being hyper obese this one adds a lot to the low esteem part of the equation. So much that is not seen is going on in a fat persons head every second of every day...

"I wonder how long I can hold it because walking up to the bathroom is going to kill my back"...

"If I pretend to not be interested everyone will believe that I am choosing not to go to the movies rather than not going because I don't fit in the seats"...

"I have so much to live for why can't I just stop eating"...

"I don't remember sex hurting this much in the past"...

"If this goes much further we will have to install a Bidet in the bathroom"...

"I know its not a good idea with my chest beating like this but if I can just make it to the lawn to have my heart attack it will be less embarrassing for everyone because no hole in the house"...

"will I die today?"...

This entire post was inspired by about 4 seconds of thought yesterday after I ran across a parking lot and into my car, I jumped in put my seat belt on started the car and drove away, as I was driving away it dawned on me just how comfortable I was spinning around in my seat to check for traffic even though I had a seat belt on and had just ran across a parking lot, not out of breath and having had a surgery 8 days prior, oh dear how my life has changed. Life at just over 300 pounds is a completely different ball game and I have not had any of the above thoughts in quite some time, I do what I want to do when I want to do it. December 31st 2007 is one of the best days in my life and I can honestly remember it as clear as if it happened yesterday, it is the day that I chose to take my life back, its the day that I decided that there was a little girl that would have her Daddy for a very long time and I completely one eightied my plan, the road that was being traveled surely would have lead to bad things and perhaps a hole in my living room wall.

I am not special, I am no different than anyone else on this planet I simply had enough and decided to change the way things were going, It is not an easy thing to do so I won't lie and say that it is or has been but then I find most things in life that are worth doing are not easy.

Why are YOU waiting to live?

As Ever
Me

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CJROMB 12/2/2009 2:11AM

    EXCELLENT blog! Wonderful story. Perfectly Inspirational. You deserve every bit of attention this blog has attracted.

I'm glad I found it. Thank you for writing and sharing your journey.

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BIKERDIANE 11/29/2009 6:32AM

    emoticon

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CALLOWAY1970 11/24/2009 3:21AM

    I hope I can be as strong as you, I'm on spark because I can't do it alone.
You give me hope where hope was lost.
Thank you

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STOP-IT-KNOW 11/22/2009 9:55AM

    it is so wonderful you lost that weight emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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STOP-IT-KNOW 11/22/2009 9:54AM

    it is so wonderful you lost that weight emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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VEEJAY3 11/20/2009 2:50PM

    You're a hero to so many people.
And you look so happy these days!

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PATTILYNN224 11/20/2009 9:12AM

    Thanks for your honesty. Although my weight is a bit lower than you starting weight, the fears are the same. You really hit home. I am so glad you shared.

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RBRASHER 11/19/2009 6:34PM

    Thank you for this blog. What an inspiration you are.

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NOTGIVINGUP2009 11/19/2009 1:58AM

  Thank you for your honesty and for sharing your journey and fears.

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KELLYLOUISIANA 11/18/2009 4:31PM

    AMAZING! so inspirational and you look fantastic! congrats hunnie you deserve it" emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BARIBAL 11/18/2009 2:13PM

    Amazing and inspiring. And very well written too.

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DAWN-20 11/18/2009 11:10AM

  Wow! Life can be hard and now I am getting on the treadmill today because you have reminded me, inspired me to push through those low moments! Thank you.

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ETHEL_MERMAID 11/18/2009 7:26AM

    You really got to the heart of the pain, anguish, and disability excess weight causes. I can't thank you enough for taking the time to write something that really resonates with me this morning. CONGRATULATIONS!!!

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MARSHAISC2 11/17/2009 11:42PM

    I needed that thank you

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FRANCLYN 11/17/2009 10:41PM

    Beautifully written as usual (honesty and willingness to share the hardest details would have done it even without the gift for words). I haven't lost nearly as much but I have been noticing those huge perception changes myself. And yes, a little girl who deserved a healthy mommy who would be around to see her first boyfriend and see her older sister's wedding someday and maybe even hers too....big motivation for me!

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TURTLETRACK 11/17/2009 10:34PM

    I liked the honesty of your life and I want to thank you for that, not to many people are that honest with people they don't know. When we do get honest than we can handle the problem. Thanks for sharing your life with us. Keep up the good work.
Susie

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TXRMOM 11/17/2009 9:28PM

    Thank you for writing this. I am inspired and moved. I will make the choice.

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IRENEAZ 11/17/2009 9:26PM

    KUDOS to you on your weigh loss. Your story was quite inspiring and I admire you for putting it out there. Keep up your hard work and you are and will succeed.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BABERUTH7 11/17/2009 6:56PM

  You are amazing, I should be ashamed for thinking my journey is a long one! My hat goes off to you. God bless!

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BLACKIE35 11/17/2009 6:49PM

    WOW BEAUTIFUL STORY!! NOW I KNOW I COULD DO IT TOO. emoticon

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SHAUNDA 11/17/2009 6:35PM

    Good for you and thanks for being an inspiration to others.

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SEEHOLZ 11/17/2009 5:31PM

    Love it!! Thanks for sharing!

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POLYANASUNSHINE 11/17/2009 3:47PM

    Wow! That is awesome.

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DINAHMOHUM 11/17/2009 2:35PM

    Inspirational story and GREAT writing. Keep on trucking, brother~ emoticon emoticon

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CAROLDEDOO 11/17/2009 2:15PM

    emoticon for sharing. I needed to read your story today. emoticon job losing the weight, writing the story, keeping it off. You've inspired me this afternoon. I can do it too. Thanks again.

Carol emoticon

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FREEDOMCMH 11/17/2009 1:41PM

    Thank you for sharing with all of us. Makes me think about how I've complained about how hard losing weight is, yet I haven't gotten to the point of painful movement or immobility. I have no excuses. I am so truly inspired. I will not wait to live any longer.

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JENNGETTINGBUFF 11/17/2009 1:14PM

    Very, very inspiring... Thank you so much for sharing!

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KRZYKAT3 11/17/2009 12:46PM

    thanks for sharing!

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RUSSIANMERMAID 11/17/2009 12:36PM

    emoticon

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AMBERDREAM1 11/17/2009 12:30PM

    Wow, thank you for opening my eyes. You are such an inspiration to all.

Missy

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FITCOLLEENB 11/17/2009 12:13PM

    emoticon emoticon very inspiring! I can only imagine how tough it must of been for you , let alone the health problems you were facing. Congratulations on the positive changes you have made.

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LIFE_IS_SO_GOOD 11/17/2009 12:05PM

    You gave me something to think about ... what am I waiting for? Thanks!

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KSIGMA1222 11/17/2009 11:56AM

    WOW! Somebody who speaks my language and even more! I never was as high as you were but I have an understanding and was well on my way. And many do not understand and now you are reaching to the point when other things really start to change. You have done and are doing what you want to do because you made the choice, so to you it does and doesn't seem like nothing or nothing special just what you had to do and decided to do. But as much as you fight it and you may already know it can and will define you as well and you either run with it or fight it nonstop. Seems like you are running with it. Hope this makes sense and look forward to your future postings. I am also looking forward to looking at your past postings. So thanks for sharing.

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MELISSAMARIE22 11/17/2009 11:44AM

    emoticon

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GRAVER473 11/17/2009 11:25AM

    Your journey is nothing short of inspiring. Thank you for sharing, and great job!!

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EVRLNGFOO 11/17/2009 11:21AM

    absolutely inspiring. thank you for sharing your thoughts. i'm very proud that you were able to overcome your fears and do something for yourself and your family.

why am i waiting to live?

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FREEDOMCMH 11/17/2009 11:10AM

    Thank you for sharing with all of us. Makes me think about how I've complained about how hard losing weight is, yet I haven't gotten to the point of painful movement or immobility. I have no excuses. I am so truly inspired. I will not wait to live any longer.

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JOYCEFROMPA 11/17/2009 10:59AM

    emoticon emoticon Your story is so inspiring. The question why are you waiting to live really hit me hard. I keep taking 2 steps forward and 3 steps back I want my life back and today is the day I become serious about it!!
Big Hugs,
Joyce

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DACIUS 11/17/2009 10:49AM

    Simply awesome!!!! I cannot tell you how many ways I can relate to your blog. So many incredibly morbid thought ran through my head as well. The procrastination, the avoidance of public settings and the fact that my kids annoyed me because I was "tired".

Amazing story man!! Simply incredible.

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SKILL133 11/17/2009 10:30AM

    Awesome man!

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NANRIG 11/17/2009 9:40AM

    Wow, you told it like it is. Congratulations on making the best decision in your life to date. God Bless

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SPARKLEMAMMY 11/17/2009 9:06AM

    What a wonderful blog good luck in all that you do

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SALLYSEAGULL1 11/17/2009 7:54AM

    Thank you for going where I have also been with such honesty.
emoticon

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SEAMSTRESSLESS 11/17/2009 5:24AM

    wow... I felt that way at 290... maybe not to that extreme, but the thought of a fireman refusing to carry me out of an upstairs window....

isn't it great to knwo that you are liberating yourself daily?

be proud of your achievement and share it with whoever will listen!

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VIRENDER1 11/17/2009 4:49AM

  Really fantastic efforts.Keep it up

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LORDLOVER 11/17/2009 2:29AM

    I love your raw honesty. Be blessed!!!

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HRAMOS1920 11/17/2009 2:20AM

    This blog was such a moving story. I am so happy you decided enough was enough and were able to make the changes even through the ups and downs. I am pulling from your positive energy to make a move in the same direction. Thank you. Keep up the positive attitude and good luck!

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KEKEIKO 11/16/2009 11:28PM

    A very touching story and so sad that it is true. Congratulations on your victory so far. Strength to you on your continued journey. Hugs, Keke

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DANCINGCAROL 11/16/2009 10:25PM

    This is a wonderful thing to share. Great job.
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CABINDOG 11/16/2009 10:08PM

    congrats on your progress...it is truly amazing.

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Is there a Doctor in the house?

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


This morning I have the pleasure of having Wify home because of Veterans day and we made a deal a while back that she would join the gym with me after I scheduled my Gallbladder surgery and since I held my part of the bargain up off we went this morning to sign her up. This also means that it was my first trip back to the gym since having my surgery and I ended up doing a light work out which consisted of 30 minutes on a treadmill at 3mph with a 3% incline and 15 minutes on a stationary bike set at level 11 resistance, I felt good afterward but tomorrow and later tonight will let me know if I did too much or if I am a go to get back in there every day again working slowly back up to my new bestest friend the arc-trainer.



Tuesday's menu could have been better and I know that I was over on calories but I have not a clue how much because I did not use my excel sheet, it was one of those bleh days where I felt like I needed more food and just went with it because I am still recovering a bit so Tuesday I gave myself a pass. My drinking is back to normal and I am back to my regular 1.5 to 2 gallons per day and my weight is coming down daily, have I mentioned that I am way up since the surgery? well I am and I believe it to partially be because of the surgery itself and all of the trauma but I did eat whatever would go down comfortably for the first couple days afterward and that may be a contributing factor as well but either way things are stabilizing where weight is concerned. I am a little bit disappointed at the timing of my surgery and my 25 by Nov 11th challenge that I have been doing because I did very well with that challenge and since the surgery ran into the last week and I really did not think it would make that big a difference I messed up any real numbers that would have been if I had not had the surgery this week, it is what it is I suppose.



The thing that triggered that challenge was because my doc said to me the last time that I saw him "you have done something that is not like you" oh yeah whats that? "you GAINED weight" and it bugged me because it was the first time that the recorded weight at the docs was a plus instead of a minus. Now it was one pound that I was up at the time so more than likely a fluctuation or I forgot to take my keys out of my pocket but even still and the challenge was born, I am just hoping that when I get to the docs office this afternoon that I am not above that number again. Either way it does not matter but since I challenged myself I would of course like to see me at least on the lower side of those numbers, it is pure insanity to me at just how much I am up since having the gallbladder removed but I know it is a temporary thing so in all honesty I am not too bothered by it.

Over all I am doing well post surgery (not that it was a big bad surgery or anything) but four holes punched through my abdomen still smarts! and getting back in the gym this morning felt good. From here on out I am going to be on auto pilot with the gym and my eating as well as my hydration so I have a feeling that it will be sooner than later that I hit my goal weight or at least chip my way to under 300 pounds because that is a bench mark that I am really looking forward to. I have a few subjects (more personal) that I want to write about on this blog but they take more time than I have right now as I need to get going to my appointment but look for them in the very near future, until then keep drinkin that H2O and keep in mind that YOU are the one making the decisions, so drop the brownie and get that arse moving.

As Ever
Me

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DACIUS 11/17/2009 11:05AM

    Great blog. Sounds like you are not beating yourself up over 1 measly pound. Way to push forward.

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ALIZA77 11/17/2009 10:09AM

    thanks botz


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SKYEFYR 11/13/2009 12:05PM

  Glad to see you feeling better Botzzz! And congrats on getting wifey to join you at the gym! That's wonderful!

You're doing great. Surgery always involves some level of water retention as the body uses water to buffer "injured" areas. Give yourself a little more heal time and those extra lbs will be gone.

The old habits are coming back, and it'll only be a matter of time before your charging in the right direction again!

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SNEAKYGREG 11/13/2009 8:17AM

    Glad the surgery went well and it doesn't matter if its only 4 little holes you still had anesthesia and that is hard on us

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BARIBAL 11/12/2009 9:16AM

    I was actually holding a brownie :(

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CRAFTYPATCH 11/11/2009 7:36PM

    It's so funny that you said drop the brownie...I came home to a big plate of homemade brownies (courtesy of my babysitter). I had one in my hand and immediately put it down. I called my three girls in the room and ordered them to eat them all! They were gone in 30 minutes.

Sounds like you are doing well if you were back in the gym...just don't push past the pain. Let yourself heal and stay within your calories. emoticon

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LISAMG1220 11/11/2009 6:30PM

    dang how did you know about the brownie? J/K!!! Consider my arse in gear and I am saluting you with my 32 oz water as we speak!!

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VEEJAY3 11/11/2009 6:23PM

    Man, the last thing on my mind after having surgery would be one piddley little pound.

C'MON!!! I might-a pinched that doctor for even mentioning it. Was it, by any chance, Dr. Gregory House?


Comment edited on: 11/11/2009 6:24:03 PM

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ZIRCADIA 11/11/2009 4:51PM

    YAY for getting back to the gym with wify!!!! :) Take care of yourself and don't let the scale bug you right now -- you will recover from surgery and everything will equalize, but now is not the time. :)

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SIMPLE_TAILOR 11/11/2009 3:59PM

    It's good to hear that everything is going well. I would give it another work0ut or two, even if you still feel good, before you get back with the arc trainer.

ttyl

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CINCYDORA 11/11/2009 1:16PM

    Thanks Bottzzz, as always. It's hard for me to give up on my journey, no matter how frustrated I get, when I get periodic updates from you being so enthusiastic and optimistic. How can I be frustrated after mere months when you've been at it, successfully, for 2 years?

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FLAWLESSCUBE 11/11/2009 1:15PM

    Glad to read there were no post op problems. MOst of my patients tend to gain a bit of weight even with more minor surgeries so I wouldn't worry to much as your ambition with over rule all that. Congrats on getting back to the gym. and talking your wife into going , that is so great. Have a great sparking day emoticon

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THECOOLESTSARAH 11/11/2009 12:38PM

    Hey - just curious - do you weigh in at the docs weekly? I've considered doing this because it sure would give me major accountability - making them take time to help me and all. Thanks!

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TRACYZABELLE 11/11/2009 12:36PM

    Sounds like you are coming along one day at a time! Keep on sparking Tony~

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LAURIE5658 11/11/2009 12:31PM

    Let us know how the doctor's appointment goes. I think you are crawling back to your fitness level smartly and doing a good job of listening to your body. Keep up with your game plan and you will be back to pre-surgery form in no time.

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