Thursday, October 01, 2009
Funny thing about being committed to something and the way that you feel over all because of it, I have been back in a frame of mind that will lead me down the path in the right direction again for one whole day and I already feel like my new old self again. I ate within my calorie range yesterday and I got out for a ride on my bike, a cold ride but a ride none the less. I also got enough sleep last night and that is most likely why I feel good today but a combination of all of the above is not beyond possibility either and its only 9:00 am and I am wanting to post on this blog so maybe I am back into the routine. I did come in low for calories yesterday with a total of 1370 for the whole day along with my typical gallon of green tea and about a half gallon of straight H2O so I am hydrating properly and obviously I didn't eat too much.
This is a photo from mid Jan 2008, I am not going back to that so again re-focused I have become.
I had a few distractions over the last month and the ones that could be taken away were all taken away yesterday and I will not revisit them as they are nothing important and were obviously enough to make me veer off the beaten path where my health is concerned. Some of the distractions are not so easy to remove so I am afraid that I am stuck with them for the duration, one of these distractions is the gallbladder surgery that I need to get and am putting off for no real good reason other than its not something that I want to do, all in due time I suppose.
Re-reading some of my old posts yesterday brought some things back into focus for me, while I am leaps and bounds past where I started off I am not out of the woods yet and reading the posts from the beginning of my trip again brought back some of the old feelings. I read the story of a guy that was honestly and wholeheartedly afraid that the time left on the planet was limited and unpredictable because of extra weight that was being carried around. I remember how it felt to walk up a flight of stairs and be completely out of breath for doing so and the embarrassment that came with that as well as the attempt to hide that fact from my wife by pretending to do something in the hall or walking to the bathroom to let the breathing come down a bit before actually walking into the bedroom. I read a post where I went for a walk to a playground "a couple of blocks away from our house" and I can remember feeling like I had just worked out for an hour because of that walk that was literally a block and a half away, for me at the time it was a big deal to be able to make that walk and I hid that from my wife as well. I am not that guy any more, I am not going to be the guy that lost 200 pounds and faded into the internet with that false accomplishment of almost making it out of being on the edge of a short life because of terrible health habits and I will not hide anything from my wife again because I am too embarrassed to admit that I have had a problem with eating.
I won't go back to the old way that I was living my life, I have come too far for that. Its amazing what looking at some side by side pictures and re-reading some old posts will do for getting a frame of mind back to the top of the pile.
Tomorrow is another day and another post shall be here for you to read with your morning Joe or tea, as always I thank you for following along with what I am doing.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
The past couple of weeks have been hard for me, there are some things going on in my life in addition to the comfort issue that I am experiencing right now, meaning that I am comfy with myself and to get myself back on track I did something that had not occurred to me to try. This morning I started reading my own blog from day one, I figured that I get so many emails and comments stating that something I had written inspired someone else to either start their own journey of weight loss or I have kept them going when the stand off with the triple chocolate fudge cake was not looking favorable that maybe I could take some of that for myself. I read through some of my older posts and started feeling the way that I felt when I wrote them, what I mean is that I can remember where I was and how I felt when each post was written and I know that I am starting to sound like a broken record at this point and I have been the worlds worse blogger lately but I am back.
Remembering taking my walks with my daughter and the fact that it took me 20 minutes to walk roughly 1/3 of a mile and feeling that that was an accomplishment made me realize how far I have come in this whole thing. Reading about how I rode my stationary bike for 15 minutes and remembering just how tired I was after that fifteen minutes of movement knowing that I now walk 2 miles in just about 27 minutes and don't have to stop there because of pain means a lot to me. I read the posts from back then and can recall thinking that I would never get to 100 pounds lost on my own but knowing that I had to try so I kept going no matter what and how I felt at 500 plus pounds compared to right now and I KNOW that I have to keep going until I get where I need to, want to get where my health comes into play.
On Jan 06 2008 I wrote in a post "I do know that I cannot give up until I drop this weight and look forward to learning as much as I can to do that, obviously I failed Diet 101 thus far in my life." I believe that I have graduated from the "Diet" series of health class and have gained a ton of knowledge in the past almost two years while making my life and health a completely different thing than when that post was written. I believe that I have given myself and my family years of having me around with what I have done so far, but I am not done. I have so much more that I want to do with myself physically just to prove to myself that I can do it as well as show my kids that they can do whatever they put their minds to, so I have to keep this better health thang moving in a direction that promotes all of that.
There is stress in my life currently and I could blame that for my lack of effort lately but that would be a cop out and I won't do that. The bottom line is that I know what I need to do, I know that I have the willpower to do it, and stress or no stress its what I am going to do. This weight loss game is a life long decision, its something that will have to stay in place come rain or shine and honestly I have not fallen too far off of the wagon I have just stopped trying so hard, lets call it a pause. My lowest weight to date was 330 pounds and that weight was reached on August 14th 2009 and last Friday I was 9 pounds above that so I am sort of maintaining roughly 10 pounds above my low weight for the last almost seven weeks.
Maintaining at 340 pounds is not what I meant when I said "I do know that I cannot give up until I drop this weight" only six days into my lifestyle change so I must, how do I say? keep on keepin on until I get where I aimed for. I can't say that I have been very "inspiring" lately where weight loss is concerned but I can still say that I have lost a substantial amount of weight and hopefully added time to my life. I will not allow myself to keep going at a maintaining pace when I still weigh as much as I do, I cannot let that happen and I believe that it is happening because this is the weight that I have lived most of my life at. Once I reached adulthood I settled around this weight until I was injured in 2000 and then I blew up to my 500 plus pound self so this just feels right to me. Its time to blow past a boundary that I have never been past and get below 300 pounds, below 275 pounds, below 250 pounds? to be found out I suppose but to stop now would make zero sense at all, especially given the amount of success I have had thus far.
From the worlds worse blogger to you that's where I am today, will I get below 300 pounds? no doubt and I invite you to watch me do it.
I am back and I have to say that Zeusmeatball fella has inspired me to get my $hit together once again, who wouldda thunk?
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Intake came in at 1690 total calories and I drank almost 2 gallons of fluid today, I did however fall short on the exercise. I worked on my car for a short while and ran around all afternoon and as I mentioned had an appointment with my daughters teacher this evening, I guess if I have time to write this update that I can do some calisthenics eh? I will do some push ups and some light dumb bell exercises as soon as I hit the publish button.
2 cups honey comb 220
1 cup 1% milk 110
4.5oz ground turkey 180
2 80 cal rolls 160
2 slices whole wheat bread 140
1 T peanut butter 95
1 T strawberry preserves 35
3/4 cup white rice 150
2 cup green beans 80
5oz chicken breast 250
13 cups air popped popcorn 260
1 pickle 10
G-Tea 1 gallon
H2O 3/4 gallon
You may return to whatever it was that you were doing before you clicked the link to this blog.
That is all.
Get An Email Alert Each Time BOTZZZ Posts