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BOTZZZ's Recent Blog Entries

Randomly random with a twist of excuse and a dash or whatever.

Monday, September 21, 2009


I am still feeling comfortable and not pushing as hard as I know that I should be, this is a problem for me...

This weekend I did more manual labor around the house but I did nothing that could be categorized as exercise in my book, I did not run, I did not ride my bike, I did not even go for a walk. I did do more work on the brick patio on Saturday and I did paint random things that needed touching up and I did walk around all day Sunday through department stores where I scored some Carhart pants on the cheap at a Cabelas sidewalk sale but none of that is exercise no matter what any of these calorie calculators say. I need to find my groove in the world of exercise once again and that is the bottom line, once I start that the rest always seems to fall into place on its own and all of this is happening on the eve of cold weather and I know that I have to get into a groove before the weather becomes an excuse to not work out. Life seems somehow busier lately, kind of like there is not a spare minute for me to work in some exercise and I know this is not the truth because I have 2 hours all to myself every weekday while my daughter is in her preschool class so what am I doing in these 2 hours that does not equal exercise? more errands usually but I am going to starting today make it a point to get at least something into those 2 hours because I need to remember where I was not too long ago, you know pressed into that dent in the old leather couch.

I was in a position a little more than a year and a half ago where I stopped and said that nothing was more important than my health, nothing mattered if I could not get control of this health issue which consisted of 250 excessive pounds attached to my body and I stuck to that. I made losing weight my job and my wife even joked about that fact more than once but now that I am down more than 200 pounds I am sliding other things into the more important slot and I am unsure that I am at a point where that should be the case just yet. I have said this before but wasn't losing the weight kind of so that I could be comfortable with myself again? wasn't it so that I did not have to worry about a possible heart attack at any given moment? wasn't it because I was afraid that I could die at any second of any random day? it was. With all of the above said I am going to start doing evening update posts to stay accountable with my exercise and menu's, what that means is good bad ugly it will be posted once per night because I really need to get this thing rolling again. I know that things are just very very busy right now wrapping up summer projects around the house and I am not making sure that everything is measured and weighed where my calories go and that I am doing house work in place of exercise and really just running out of time but that sounds a lot like excuses to me when I say it out loud and I am not going to make excuses for why I did or did not do something, if I had the time to do the exercise when I weighed more I can find the time now.

Now that sounds like I am being pretty hard on myself and I am but honestly I have done ok with the calories just not good, and I have done some exercise with mostly random walks but that is not the level of work that I had built myself up to so its just not good enough for me. I have to commit to at least 30 minutes of cardio per day and that is the bottom line because without that the weight just really slows to a crawl or stops completely and well, I still have a lot of weight to lose so I can't have that. As I am typing this out I am thinking about my words and am feeling like I sound like a broken record the last few posts with all of the "I know what I need to do" and "man I am busy as hell" its all starting to sound like excuses to me and it has to stop!

Bottom line is me and fatty are back on to go to the prom and I gotta stop making $hit up as to why I am not doing what I know how to do. Its done right here in this last paragraph because it has to be, because I have to do what I need to do for me because without me I can't have the rest and I honestly feel like something clicked in my head as I wrote this post out so onward with the program. Look for the update posts in the evenings for a while and I do believe that I am actually back this time, so tune in tomorrow for the next episode of Fatman and Blobbin to find out whether Fatman chewed through the corner of the refrigerator to get that last piece of fudge or if he resisted temptation.

You all got to witness my thought process happening almost in real time in this post, its happened before and I am sure it will happen again so until then thanks for following and I need to eat my own words and get up off of my ass and grab a big glass of H2O for myself.

As Ever
Me

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DELAWICKED1 9/22/2009 9:58AM

    I have enjoy reading your previous posts. I "found" you a few months back when I joined Sparks. I too have been lazy and been making excuses about my exercise and eating.

What you wrote is the way I have felt lately. I do much better with a kick in the pants than anything else. Thanks for giving me another kick in the pants to get moving and working.

You are well on your way and I'm looking forward to hearing about your progress. You can do it.


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SNEAKYGREG 9/21/2009 8:18PM

    I laughed out loud at the fatman chewing through the fridge for fudge that is priceless. Welcome back and I will say glad to have ya

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SUNNY89 9/21/2009 7:00PM

    You have several wonderful comments here. I love them. They are very motivational. After reading your recent post I too felt compelled to say "Come on, You know what you need to do. I know you can finish what you started." I don't know you that well but I have followed along your posts for a while now and it would be real cool to see you at your weight loss finish line. So come on finish the race.

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MAUITN 9/21/2009 4:16PM

    I am reading your posts and depending on you to motivate and keep me pushing myself and to keep me honest about calories and exercise.

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TELERIE 9/21/2009 3:27PM

    I really liked the way your mind turned in this blog, and it's really time to GOYAAM (get off your ass and move). Pick up where you are in C25K or go for a bike ride, do some push ups, go for a hike. You have time and you can do it, and it'll make you feel SO GOOD!
There are times when we get so tired of always tracking and always being vigilant, and that's ok, just as long as we get back to it again eventually. Keep on keeping on and all that jazz. You know you are so worth it.

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MARYONAMISSION 9/21/2009 1:40PM

    You can do it!!! We are all cheering for you and confident that you can get back on track. Sometimes we all have to give ourselves a big, swift kick in the @ss to get it together. Sounds like you are there. Look forward to your nightly updates. I definitely think blogging daily will help at least for now. Plus if you don't I'm sure you'll get tons of emails demanding to know why there is no update. We, your loyal readers, are a rowdy, demanding bunch. Don't worry, if you are too tired we can give you the swift kick to the rump that you need. Good luck!
emoticon

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MADZOE 9/21/2009 12:29PM

    Wow, okay so I wanted to respond, not really knowing you very well with a 'GET MOVING!' type comment, but then I was kinda timid because well I don't know you. But then I read Tam's comment, and well it gave me a shot of bravery.

I understand how you feel, and my greatest fear is that I'll get into onederland and decide that hey since that's the lowest I've been in 13 years, why not stop. WHY NOT??? Am i CRAZY???? Because thats so far from a healthy weight it's not funny, because I want to be able to go on vacation with my kids to sunny places and actually go swim with them without being embarrased, because I want to be healthy, because I want to be active, because I want to LIVE to see my kids grow up. That's WHY!

Having read many many many of your blogs I know you can do this, so with the greatest respect, I say to you GET MOVING! :)

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LAURIE5658 9/21/2009 12:13PM

    Tony, you do not have to run or ride the ike to get cario in! I know that running has been a problem for you because of the loose skin and I understand that. When I start to get weary of my running (for whatever reason) I simply start walking again and it lightens the load for me and I get rejuvinated. Tony, PLEASE do whatever you need to do in order to get the mojo back!!!!

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MOCOHOLO 9/21/2009 12:11PM

    Maybe you can focus on a smaller goal to get you going. I have 3.5 pounds to lose to get out of the 270s forever and that's what I've decided to focus on right now. The rest doesn't matter. I know I can lose 3.5 pounds because I've done it before and so I'm 100% committed to making that happen right now.

Whatever you decide, don't discount that heavy lifting manual labor. That totally counts as exercise. You're doing awesome and just need to stay positive!

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HAPPYSOUL91 9/21/2009 11:39AM

    Maybe getting under 200 set your mind that the rest isn't as important. This is the real slippery slope.

You can do this and gather the "importance of you"

emoticon

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DREENAMT 9/21/2009 11:25AM

    I think you are on the right track! My experience is that only when I get regular exercise do I actually get the benefit and WANT to do it. So you have to do it to want to do it. It's crazy. Maybe when your daughter is in preschool -- or maybe that's when you just need to take a deep breath! Maybe after she gets home you strap her in the jogging stroller and both get a change of scenery!!

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AINTSKEERD 9/21/2009 11:06AM

    '...now that I am down more than 200 pounds I am sliding other things into the more important slot and I am unsure that I am at a point where that should be the case just yet.' Allow me to give you the answer....NO!

Yo, Tony! No matter how important all of those other things seem, if you are not there to take care of them they won't get done. Take care of yourself FIRST! Do not get complacent. You do not have time in your life for that. Get a grip, my friend!
emoticontam

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JLDACQ 9/21/2009 11:06AM

    The desire to reach our goal weight is usually strongest in the beginning, and like you mentioned, it seemed to take a back seat as progress seemed easy.

I've been at this weight loss thing seriously since 2002. The first year, I lost 60 lbs, and I didn't even try hard, let alone exercise. But after that first 60, it became a lot of hard work to keep it off, never mind losing more.

It took another 4 years before I got the 2x4 across the head, and realized that I had to make it a priority again, and that's when I realized that this weight loss thing HAS to be a lifestyle change, and choice.

In the last 3 years, I've lost almost another 40, but it hasn't been without its ups and downs. This year alone, I've lost 15 so far, but it's been a while where the winter months don't make me lazy (and then I regain some of what I lost in the previous year).

If you really want to lose the weight, and to develop a healthy lifestyle, it's going to take time. And reaffirmations of not returning where you were over 2 years ago. And taking the steps to make sure you never do return there.

Keep going, don't stop, your thought processes aren't stinkin' thinkin', they're just a little confused right now. :-D

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Keep it simple stupid...and a weigh in

Friday, September 18, 2009


Today I weighed in to get a baseline number for my 25 pounds lost by Nov 11th challenge to myself and we came in at 340.2 pounds so up a whopping 10 pounds from my all time low weight of 330 pounds. I think this is important for me to get back into the swing of this whole weight loss thing, I say weight loss because in recent months I have more focused on the healthy part of it and stopped worrying so much about the actual raw weight and I need to get the weight moving downward again.

I have learned that I can eat like a normal person and not really gain too much weight, I have learned that I can exercise during the week and not feel like I am being forced to move, and I have learned that I was missing out on a lot when I was 500 plus pounds. I sometimes get asked how I do it, how do I stick to it day after day. all of the counting, measuring, balancing carbs/fat/protein/calories and my answer is simple, I do not over think any of this. what? no way you just use the K.I.S.S method and are having success! no way I say! indeed I am.

I receive emails from people periodically asking me things like "how many grams of fat do you allow yourself per day?" or "what ratio do you use for your fat/protein/carbs?" my answer is that I do not over complicate the process and what that means is that I do not count those things at all. At the core of it we are just another animal and the way I see it is if we just eat smart and balanced we can be healthy. the only thing that I limit is my calories, I can eat whatever I want throughout the day as long as it all adds up to roughly 1700 calories, if I want to eat 1700 calories worth of baked potatoes in a day so be it but it better not go over at least not too much over 1700 calories, now that is not how I do it, I mean I have never eaten 1700 calories worth of potatoes in a day...well maybe back a couple years ago I may have but now not so much, I try to eat a bit from each group per meal and call it a day. some days I am carb heavy, I figure on those days that its what my body needed for nourishment and then some days I may be heavy on the protein which the same conclusion gets made, I must have needed it that day.

Our bodies are amazing and can tell us a lot about what we need with cravings or with pain, I don't think that as we evolved there was a manual written with exact amounts of fuel for each particular task or movement and either we adhere to that or we shall all become gelatinous masses plopped along the planet. Every one of us is different and the same all at once, basically we all need roughly the same things to survive and remain healthy but there is no guide book to follow, no magical figure that will smite fat from our bones if followed to the letter. The way I feel about it is that we are merely another animal gracing the crust of this planet that we all call home and if we eat to live instead of living only to find the next best triple fudge brownie that we can all be healthy and less rotund. Eat lean meats eat veggies drink much and we are eating healthy its that simple, none of the over thinking is necessary, complicate things and they get difficult and soon we find ourselves giving it up..at least that is my experience with things. I will admit to eating a lot of whole foods and I drink green tea like no other but besides that it is really just counting calories, less in than I burn and that's that.

I have been thinking about the C25K program lately and how I never did finish it all of the way through, I was blasting through it and enjoying myself doing so and then got hurt and when I had recovered I had bought a bike and the "fun factor" of that over ruled the running but it is getting cooler out again and I have been itching to start the program back up. A few things to mention about why I stopped running, some dumb some legitimate and some just not a whole lot to it either way. I am not past the "fat guy" thing yet and what I mean is that I am still a fat guy ~ duh but what I mean is that when I was running I wore a compression shirt and that bothered me a bit, not comfort in the traditional sense but comfort in the way that it looked to me. I wore it under a tee shirt which was ok but when that was on my shirts looked odd to me but I ran anyways and as I was hounded on (you know who you are) to get running again the thought of wearing that shirt to stop the swaying of the looseness was not making me want to run. Now that it is getting cooler outside I can wear a hoodie when I run which will do a great job of hiding the sway, dumb reason I know but hey, when ya lose 200 pounds the skin is not as taught as one would like t to be and well yeah.

So there you have the random thoughts of none other than Me to ponder with your morning java, or hopefully tea! The start weight for my 25 pounds bt Nov 11th challenge will be set at 340 and I may start running again very soon as well, hitting the ground running this week to kick start me back into my groove and I will do my best to keep the posts on the blog in a daily fashion once again, weekends may be iffy (like always) but I will try and post tomorrow at some point again just to get a menu up. Thank you for following along and if you have made it to this point in the post you do deserve a drink of water so get on up and grab a glass as this post seems to have become a long one.

As Ever
Me

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHARLOTTE1962 9/21/2009 10:54AM

    Thank you for all the wonderful insight you gave us in this blog.

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BILLALEX70 9/19/2009 10:46PM

    Keep up the hard work and the results will show!

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SUNNY89 9/19/2009 4:35PM

    Best of luck to you on your new 25 pound challenge as well as your desire to continue your C25K program. You will see even more great results. Thank you for sharing some of what has made your journey a success.

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DDOORN 9/18/2009 11:16PM

    I am a HUGE fan of this philosophy also: "I do not over complicate the process."

So much so that I don't even count calories or measure portions...! Too many unpleasant memories of doing that in the past. I *know* what I need to do...after all these years I have a good intuitive handle on this...no sugar or refined carbs, WAY more veggies than ever and some meat / dairy along with BOATLOADS of water.

I hear what you're saying re: running and jiggling...I feel very self-conscious also...to the point where I'll jog along when nobody's approaching, but as soon as someone comes along I'll go back to walking. Occasionally I'll keep jogging though as I am sometimes so AMAZED that I'm actually JOGGING and ENJOYING it and my self-consciousness shifts to the back burner.

Good to hear you're ramping up your efforts!

Don

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VEEJAY3 9/18/2009 10:27PM

    Kiss? Were you asking for a kiss?
Well, pucker up, fellah!
emoticon



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SNEAKYGREG 9/18/2009 8:57PM

    I always like to keep things simple it makes life so much easier. Glad to hear you are gonna start running again, don't let tha self concious thing get in your way just get out there and run

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PINKCHEETAH175 9/18/2009 7:59PM

    I love your blogs...you are so motivational and real! I have to say that today you opened a whole can within myself...I have lost around 150lbs...and all summer been just floundering around...not gaining but not losing.... I only have about 50 - 75lbs left to lose and I am more than half way there so like you...got comfortable!...ugh....anyhow...I just realized that I also have a doc appt on November 11th and may just have to join your challange!!...heck...if you can do it...why can't I...thank you so much for the motivation and honesty...

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BIGGIRL2082010 9/18/2009 7:20PM

    I totally agree - keeping it simple is the ONLY way it's going to work for the long term. If I were to keep counting exactly the grams of each macro or micro-nutrient I eat every single day, I'd go bonkers. I guesstimate a lot of it, and right now I'm getting enough exercise that the occasional (or more frequent) indulgence isn't really making any difference on the scale. Eating well to maintain is FUN! :)

Have fun with that C25K thing - you're so gonna love doing your first 5k!

Cheers,
Maya


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SIMPLE_TAILOR 9/18/2009 2:16PM

    Another great post, good sir.

Something else people need to consider is that you can't fall in a groove. Then nothing is as effective as it once was. Changing stuff up periodically is another huge component.

ttyl



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INAETERNUM 9/18/2009 1:03PM

    Keep it up! You've come so far and the KISS method really does work! I can't stand counting every single gram of everything I eat. I just make sure it's all balanced. I'm doing the c25k as well, its an awesome program. Go to it, Space Monkey!

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CATREBEL 9/18/2009 12:34PM

    Good luck getting started back running. The cooler temps do make it more tempting. Good luck also on your weight loss challenge. I think I will go get that drink of water now.
emoticon

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MARYONAMISSION 9/18/2009 12:13PM

    Good luck on your challenge! We all know that if anyone can do it, it will be you.

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CINCYDORA 9/18/2009 11:35AM

    I'm glad you are getting back in the swing of things.

I agree with your KISS philosophy. I love to play with the macronutrient numbers and see how things are tracking over time. But when it comes down to what I choose to put in my mouth at a given moment, calories reign supreme. Aside from aiming for more fruits and veggies and focusing on whole foods, everything else is fun and games.

I understand you not wanting the wear the compression shirt but you might find that as you run for longer distances, it helps to have it on. I don't like sports bras but it really is easier to move if my clothing holds things in a bit. So I tend to wear one even if I'm exercising at home in my undies. I'm noticing the same thing about my belly as I lose weight. When I wear the baggy pants to exercise, things move a bit too much and it throws me off.

Best of luck as always. Thanks for sharing your journey.

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EUGENERUGOSA 9/18/2009 11:20AM

    Love the K.I.S.S. attitude. I can definitely apply that to myself. If I eat an unhealthy item (even if I am not over calories for the day) I tend to throw in the towel & ruin the rest of the day...

I am trying to get back on track & re-motivated as well.

Here's to a healthy, happy, full of activity fall for us both!!

Tricia

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PUCKYGIRL 9/18/2009 11:09AM

    You should be proud of the accomplishments that you have made. Not many people can do what you did. Trust me been there, done that, and probably have a tshirt. Losing weight is the hardest thing I think anyone can do and when you do it - it is something to be extremely happy and proud of. This time it is lifestyle changing and not just "Dieting". It is about nutrition and exercise. Keep up what you are doing and listen to your body it will tell you what it wants.

You are awesome. Keep it up.
Also Enjoy your blogs alot. Helps keep life in tact.
barb

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WENDYSPARKS 9/18/2009 10:30AM

    Hi to you Bozzz...I hope you are well. I wishing you the best of luck! Take it one day at a time. HUGS wendy emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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THECOOLESTSARAH 9/18/2009 10:29AM

    I need to get my running program going again, too. I look forward to hearing how yours goes!

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LUCKY-13 9/18/2009 10:18AM

    Good luck to you! You're doing a great job and I'm sure you're going to reach your goal weight. Sounds like you're doing some excellent evaluating. Keep up the good work!

Lucky

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Sticks and stones may break my bo....guts?

Thursday, September 17, 2009


12:20 am and since about 10:30 pm pain from these wonderful gallstones has kept me wiggling in my seat so I figured if I was up I could write an entry. I ate well today, my total calories came in at 1795 so 95 calories higher than my caloric limit and that is what I call on target, especially since I just tossed at least 1/3 of dinner into my septic system a couple of minutes ago, hmmmm can I deduct that from my calories for the day? probably not. I drank 1 gallon of green tea, one 12oz coke zero, and three 44 oz glasses of straight H2O throughout the day so I will say that I am properly hydrated. Where movement comes into play I did not do anything that I would call on purpose exercise but Wify and I did cut out 3 wild rosebushes that were overgrown all over the shed in my back yard, I took out a wasp nest with the lid to a bucket and some fast stomping action and cleared an area around the shed in prep for painting it before it gets too cold outside. Over all it was an on track day with a very busy morning which consisted of driving all over the state taking care of errands as an appetizer to the chopping of the bushes.

I have recommitted myself to this weight loss game in the past couple of days and am setting a goal of 25 pounds lost by Nov 11th which is the date that I see my doc next and I believe this to be an ambitions goal. I know that I am up in weight from my low weight of 330 pounds, just how much I am unsure of so this Friday I will do a weigh in post and use that number for my Nov 11th goal which is just over 3 pounds per week. I know that 3 pounds per week is a huge number but I think that I need to have something that seems impossible in front of me in order for me to conquer it.

This week I will resculpt my routine not out of stone this time but maybe into my arm so that I never forget that I need to stay on point with my new habits no matter how comfortable I am in my own skin. Staying in the groove that I have cut into my path is as important as drinking enough fluid or might I go as far as saying that it is as important as oxygen itself, because there was a point in my life when I was scared with every last bit of me that death was coming my way much earlier than it had to and because I fought back and beat it into the ground starting in Jan 2008 is no excuse to let up on the pressure just yet. Am I healthier than I was so many months ago? damn skippy I am, can I do things today that were merely thoughts and ideas a little more than a year ago? yes sir, and am I in a better place than I was back then? You betcha! so what the fuvk am I thinking when I let things slip just because I got a bit comfortable with where I am? From here on out I am back in that high gear and focusing on what I need to be pointed at because like I have said a multitude of times, I am NOT done with what I have started therefore I must get my $hit together again and get where I need to be where my health is concerned.

With that my gut has calmed enough for me to attempt to go lay down and almost an hour has passed since I started writing this post so I bid thee farewell until tomorrow.

Thanks for following along, keep on keepin on and all that.

As Ever
Me

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RONIJHAM 9/21/2009 1:18PM

    Hi! I happened upon your blogs and I just wanted to say, I hear you on the gall bladder pain! I had mine out in March, best decision ever! I heard a lot of stories about not being able to eat certain foods, but I have not run into that problem. Your blogs are very inspirational, thanks for sharing them! Take care!

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SQUIRRELLYMOM 9/18/2009 2:37AM

    Hope you get to feeling better really soon. You are far braver than me....I would have sprayed the wasps and run for the hills!!

Linda

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BIGGIRL2082010 9/17/2009 10:08PM

    Sounds like you do need to schedule that appointment to deal with them gallstones, huh? And you *stomped out* a wasps' nest? Brave man! :)

Hope you feel better soon!

Cheers,
Maya


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ALEXSGIRL1 9/17/2009 7:17PM

    you are an extremely motivational guy. sorry about your gall bladder. when you feel better get back to exercise.

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SCWEBER 9/17/2009 5:26PM

    Great job and thanks again for all the inspiration! Hope you get those gallstones taken care of soon.

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LAURIE5658 9/17/2009 1:53PM

    Botzzz, I am so happy that you are coming out of your hiatus and setting goals once again. We all need to take time to step back for a breather and it makes us fresh for that next run. I am here for you whenever you are ready to git r dun!!

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JLUVSHIKIN 9/17/2009 12:41PM

    Well done... sorry about loosing your calories though..

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DDOORN 9/17/2009 10:59AM

    Those gallstone pains are OH so awful! I remember well...! I had such a positive experience having my GB yanked that I can't recommend it highly enough! Although I've read about many folks who've had their eating preferences disturbed afterwards, within a few weeks I found myself able to eat pretty much everything I did before. Think it over...

Good to hear of your re-dedication too! I've been doing some soul-searching lately and thinking that it's time to DO something about this long, long plateau!

Not going "public" just yet with my plans as they are still in flux, but soon...

The whole "going public" thing with my goals is potent medicine...motivates the HECK outta me! :-)

Don

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AINTSKEERD 9/17/2009 10:24AM

    I have recently got myself back on track, too. Hmmm, having my plan on my arm-where I can see it all of the time? Definitely something to think about. emoticon

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MBSHAZZER 9/17/2009 9:59AM

    You're doing great. Your progress is amazing. As with any "long distance" event, sometimes you need to rest a bit before the final push. I have no doubt you can do it!

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WENDYSPARKS 9/17/2009 9:59AM

    You are doing great! Never give up! HUGS wendy emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ELFITZPA 9/17/2009 9:32AM

    It's so easy to get comfortable and satisfied with "better" rather than continuing to strive for our best, but I'm glad to see you moving ahead again!!

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SIMPLE_TAILOR 9/17/2009 9:08AM

    This last little bit has been tough for me as well. I have been stuck in the 230's since Thanksgiving of last year. It is a bit frustrating. I think I may have slid back since our scale died. I am going to have to get some batteries on the way home.

ttyl

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MARATHONGIRL29 9/17/2009 9:07AM

    Thanks for getting back on the saddle. You are such a inspiration to me.


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1888MICHELLE 9/17/2009 8:26AM

    Good job!! Keep it up honey!!


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SKMINNY 9/17/2009 7:39AM

    i was considering giving up and quit what i started and then i found your post. its inspiring. thank you!

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MBVMFLUTIST 9/17/2009 6:26AM

    Love your idea to keep an "impossible" goal in your sight, knowing you you'll probably do it too! Way to get back on track!

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THECOOLESTSARAH 9/17/2009 1:44AM

    Hi friend,

I have missed you - and I am back on track now too, so you know where to find me. You know I always have your back. xoxo Sometimes this shizz is hard work.

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Psssst, you there, yeah you, come read this..

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


Busy is as busy does and a few other things have me all tied up as of late and I honestly just have not had the time nor the frame of mind to write in my blog regularly the past few weeks. Since my posting has slowed I have gotten some emails saying things like "please post a blog, you have no idea how much that they help me stay on track" and I have gotten a few asking "how did your gall bladder surgery go? is that why you haven't posted in a while?" even some just stating "I hope everything is ok, I noticed that you have not posted regularly lately" right on down to "if you don't start blogging soon I will hunt you down and MAKE you write a post!" and then there are the comments left on here, and I thank each and every one of you for all of the email letters as well as the comments, they do mean a lot to me.

I have not had a surgery as of yet for my gallstones, no real reason other than I just haven't had the time to set it up and go do it, my daughter is in school now which you would think that I might have more free time to workout or whatever but I have been using the time to get projects that have been started and remain unfinished done, hence the no posting. I have laid a brick patio in my back yard, built an awning, painted much of the interior and exterior of our house, built a plant table for my back porch and some benches for around my fire pit in the back yard, battled Spartan fleas along with a few things that will not make the blog and dealt with most of this all while my back was going through one of its hissy fits, it has been an eventful few weeks.

I am finding that staying on track is give and take with all of that said, I am eating good foods for the most part, I am exercising here and there, mostly walks around the lake with Wify but nothing more than that and the physical labor around the house and what I am seeing is that I did go up a few pounds but have been hovering there for at least the last 3 weeks with no effort at all with my eating or exercising which is both good and bad at the same time, now let me splain Lucy.

If I am able to stay at my current weight with close to zero effort, in fact I have had a couple trips to Dairy queen this last month so it IS a very laid back approach for me lately, this is a great thing! because it shows me that I am capable of eating an amount that does not make me blow back up to Violet Beauregarde stature again by letting my guard down, this is wonderful! I have relearned to eat in moderation and move enough to maintain a small weight range. The flip side of that silver coin is that it means that mentally things are naturally going to shift gears a bit because I am comfortable, I believe when people become too comfy that the game changes more than a bit, I am not saying that I am any less driven or determined to hit my weight loss and health goals but the time line becomes less important because I am not held back by my weight right now, I run with my kids in the yard, I rarely sit still long enough to get bored (perfect example is this blog not being written in lately) and I can positively say that I am comfortable in my own skin, no matter how much of it is extra for the time being.

Being comfortable is a double edged sword for those reasons, I mean it is the point of all of this right? to be healthy and able to do what I want to do? to be able to play with my kids and take walks with my wife? in that respect I am at my goal, I am a happier person than I was a year and a half ago, I am healthier than I have been in quite some time so I have won right? not totally true, indeed I am all of those things but I am still a 300 plus pound fellow wandering the planet like a behemoth in search of an adventure or perhaps just a bite to eat, I have lots to accomplish before I am finished, I want to run a 5k race, I want to get back into lifting weights and I need to make sure that my children understand how important living healthy is so that I may not read a blog in the future written by one of them explaining to the world just how difficult living as a fat person is, I just cannot let that happen.

I sit here 623 days after starting down a path to better health and it has dawned on me, I am comfortable with my physical self for the first time in just about a decade and for that I am grateful, but I do see a lot of road left ahead of me so letting up at this junction would not be a good thing.

Thank you to everyone that has emailed me or left me a message or comment, honestly it was an email that I got that made me look at things and decide that I have to start blogging regularly again and prompted this entry, keep on keepin on and all that and don't forget that H2O, tomorrow is another day and I will do my best to make sure that I toss up a new entry in the am.

As Ever
Me

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VLVTGRRL 9/22/2009 5:42PM

    You know, SNEAKYGREG is onto something... You are back in the saddle, and why choose BETWEEN biking or running? Both are things you enjoy and thus BOTH can be part of your plan. Ya know, if you added on swimming, you'd be a triathlete! HA!

emoticon Glad you're back, BOTZZZ!

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ALEXSGIRL1 9/17/2009 7:14PM

    glad you are back and liking you ,so important.good blog. break is done now back to work.

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THECOOLESTSARAH 9/17/2009 1:50AM

    Can you come to my house next? I have a couple projects you could work on.... :)

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NEWKIM1 9/16/2009 10:32PM

    Thanks for finding the time to blog...it is like our crank! We need it!!! Thanks again! You are such an inspiration!

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BILLALEX70 9/16/2009 8:17PM

    Hey Buddy,

Glad to hear from you.

If you want to do a 5K then you just need to sign up for it. That's what I did last year and I just walk/ran as I could.

Sometimes a break from the 'daily grind' is a good reset for your body.

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LENOREMARY 9/16/2009 7:47AM

    Wow, I hope you make a living writing, you are extremely good at it. Congratulations on your tremendous weight loss, what an inspiration you are!

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WENDYSPARKS 9/16/2009 7:09AM

    Enjoy reading your blogs. Have a nice day and good luck on doing your home projects, wendy emoticon emoticon

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GLOBALKEEWEE 9/15/2009 11:05PM

    Isn't it amazing how just knowing a SparkFriend is there is so powerful? Sometimes it doesn't even matter what you say (although you always find something).

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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 9/15/2009 9:40PM

    Thanks for your blog. I really enjoyed it!

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SNEAKYGREG 9/15/2009 8:16PM

    Sometimes a break is what we need to get ourselves going again. I am glad to see that you didn't really let your back slow you down. After reading all the work you did I had to take a nap emoticon now that you are back in the saddle are you gonna bike or run or both?

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REDEE2DROP 9/15/2009 7:26PM

    Thanks for the Blog! They really are helpful.

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WLROSIE 9/15/2009 7:14PM

    Good to see you writing again.

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NOTOTO 9/15/2009 6:57PM

    enjoyed your blog emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/15/2009 7:01:17 PM

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STACEYSTURGEN 9/15/2009 6:29PM

  Glad to see you post, I have been reading for about 2 months and have found your blog VERY helpful. thanks and good luck

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WALKWITME 9/15/2009 6:03PM

    Welcome back !

Been There Done that, stalled out and then gave myself a Kick to keep moving.

Life Has it's Ups and Downs.

You know whats best for YOU ! emoticon

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MBVMFLUTIST 9/15/2009 4:17PM

    He's baaaack! Great to see you! I was in a plateau when I first starting reading your blogs and am back to losing thanks to your inspiring words. Thanks for all you do and for being on that same path right along with the rest of us losers. :)

Comment edited on: 9/15/2009 4:18:16 PM

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SIMPLE_TAILOR 9/15/2009 3:54PM

    I'm just glad you are doing well. Do what you need to do for yourself.

ttyl



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SUNSHINEBILL 9/15/2009 2:26PM

    Glad you are back, you were missed.

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BIGGIRL2082010 9/15/2009 2:19PM

    Oh, goooooodie! We nagged ya into blogging. How cool is THAT? :)

Glad to hear you've not been totally off all the wagons! :) ANd YAY on maintaining with such ease! That is an art in itself, after all.

Cheers,
Maya

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CINCYDORA 9/15/2009 1:16PM

    Good to know all is well and good for you getting all those household projects done.

I know what you mean about getting comfortable. If you enjoy it too much you take your eyes off the prize and forget it's supposed to be work. On the other hand, one does get tired of striving every single day and it feels good to dial it back a bit, or at least redirect the energy for a while.

I'm sure you'll be back in the swing of things. You've come too far to go back now!!

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MARYONAMISSION 9/15/2009 12:50PM

    We are all so glad you are back on posting. I'm excited for the time when I"m comfortable and happy in my own skin. Comfy is as comfy does too. But maintaining isn't bad at all either. Good luck!

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CECE0330 9/15/2009 12:50PM

    Good to see you're still around! Sounds like you've gotten quite a lot accomplished this summer! That darn comfort spot.....it's one thing to feel great about yourself-or better than you have in a while, and a whole other thing to let that comfort "excuse" slipping back into bad habits. Boy, have I been there. It's wonderful that you have "reprogrammed" yourself into BEING a healthier person, which you clearly have! Do what feels right for you, and as you always say, keep on keepin' on!

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 9/15/2009 12:46PM

    I can't believe I'm going to reference a Miley Cyrus song here, but I think you're absolutely right that it's dangerous to get comfortable. We achieve, I think, when we're OUT of our comfort zone. It's about the climb.

There's a really good TED talk on that subject...
http://www.ted.com/ta
lks/richard_st_john_success_is_
a_continuous_journey.html

I believe I gained back my previously lost 100+ lbs in my 20s and 30s precisely because I got comfortable...

Having said that, way to go on all the home projects. My house (and yard) are currently a disaster because I'm focusing so much energy on fitness.

7 cups of H2O so far today, since you seem to be concerned about it...
emoticon

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DDOORN 9/15/2009 12:35PM

    Boy do I *HEAR* you re: this comfy zone...! Describes SO MUCH of what I've been experiencing over the past year, however yet...I still have a bit of niggling, nagging inside pushing for more loss, but it sure hasn't pushed hard enough!

I DO think there is something to be said for resting in our laurels and savoring our accomplishments. And I DO think maintaining for folks like us is QUITE the accomplishment!

For me, I guess it remains to be seen if I can push myself yet some more...

Great to hear from you, as ever! :-)

Don

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KAUNISNEITI 9/15/2009 12:31PM

    All I can say is congratulations on your loss so far - you are an inspiration.

I think I will be reading your earlier blogs as well. I am starting again with SP for the second time in 2years, but I have the determination and when I read stories like yours I am reminded that there are other people out there that are doing the same thing.

keep up the good work! emoticon

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Monday, September 07, 2009


Where has he gone? that guy, you know the guy that is stricter than a Sunday school teacher, the fella that drinks like a fish and exercises like he has no sense in his head, I miss him, I know that he is still around but he finds himself gazing out the window of health lately just watching shiny stuff that catches his eye. I am finding that complacency is setting in where my eating and exercise regimen are concerned and I need to get my juju back sooner than later and basically get my ass back in the game. It's funny how just a tad bit of stress tossed into the works can effect the direction of a perfectly formed and smoothly running plan, just a couple bumps strategically placed in the path of a person by life mixed up with the comfort of being able to move freely through the world again and bamn! complacency.



I have a long way to go on my health journey, I am down 200 pounds so far and have changed my life in a way that I did not think possible. I did it with a ton of determination and discipline while making good food choices and exercising my as off literally as well as figuratively but lately I have just been kicking back, feet up and enjoying the fruits of my 20 months worth of labor, is that bad? I don't think so, but at the same time I do need to keep my eye on the end game because this kid still has a way to go before entering the realm of a normal healthy person.

In the past week of not really posting I have received dozens of emails from people that read my blog asking if everything is ok or offering to be that shoulder if I need one, I think that is awesome. Think about it, all of these people that have never met me and are all concerned because I haven't posted regular like, kind of cool in my book. I am ok! I am still here, just been busy with more than a few things the last couple weeks, My mom is here visiting from Cali, I put in a patio in my back yard, dealing with a few docs talking about a few things and finishing up painting the exterior of my house before the winter gets here so a bit busy is the flavor of the month. The house is painted, My mother is flying home tomorrow morning, the patio is 90% completed and talking to the docs can happen either way so I am going to get back with the regular posts again, mostly because I need to as I have been a bad boy where my eating goes.

I have not counted my calories in some time, lots of eating on the fly because of being out and about with my mom the last 2 weeks and..... see right there? did ya see that? that there was an excuse folks and guess who doesn't make excuses any more? yep that would be me, so might I retract that last bit and say that I have not been doing what I need to be doing so that I can with full honesty say that I am doing my part, because I haven't been doing my part the last couple weeks, this will not continue and I am back.

I am leaps and bounds beyond where I was once upon 2 years ago but need to remember where once upon a time was so that I stay focused.

With that, the end has come to a post, I am heading out for a walk around my lake with the Wify.

As Ever
Me

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YENNIF1 9/20/2009 2:49AM

  Sounds like you know the ropes to what to do, go ahead a start
climbing up. Thanks for the inspiration! emoticon

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PINKCHEETAH175 9/18/2009 7:14PM

    emoticon

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GO_ROBIN 9/18/2009 11:49AM

    Great blog. So honest and direct! I just found it by accident, but I'm impressed with your straightforward approach.

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HEARTSTOPPER 9/15/2009 12:54PM

    emoticon

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WALKWITME 9/14/2009 8:18PM

    (( BIG HUG ))

Glad to know all is well...

Life has it's Bumps in the road

emoticon emoticon Back

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AMARELAVITA 9/14/2009 5:24PM

    I just found your page and it's incredible to see how much you mean to so many people, and just how many people you have inspired! Good luck getting back on track, and I plan to be one to keep up with your posts, so don't disappoint!

emoticon

Tammy

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VLVTGRRL 9/14/2009 3:29PM

    Sorry BOTZZZ!! Your lack of determination is probably because I've been borrowing it for the last coupla weeks. Thanks for the use of it, by the way!!! I've got more resolve and am determined to stay back on track. I couldn't have done it without ya, so Welcome BACK! I'm going to do couch to 5k tonight. Care to join me? I mean virtually, of course. I'll be on the treadmill from 6:30 to 7:15.... we'll see how long it takes me to hit 3.1 miles on the sucker! :-D

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STORMIEGALE 9/14/2009 1:03AM

    Today is the first day of my new journey and I feel very fortunate to have come across your SparkPage. You are a true inspiration! Be proud of yourself for all you have accomplished for you! We all stumble along life's road but it is those that are able to pick themselves up and continue the journey that eventually reach the end. It sounds as though you have picked up many a weary traveler along the way and I feel lucky to be one of them. Thank you!
emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/14/2009 1:04:12 AM

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BIBLIOMANE40 9/13/2009 11:33AM

    It can happen to anyone - but don't let it defeat you! Find that determination and get back in the game!

"Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you're going to do now, and do it." -- Will Durant

Sherry



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VEEJAY3 9/10/2009 12:10AM

    Do. Not. Get. Comfortable.
emoticon
Comfortable is trouble. I got comfortable once. it caused the scale to move the OTHER direction. So slap yourself! BOTH cheeks!

Oh. And nice to have you back.

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GIGGLES40 9/9/2009 5:24AM

    Hang in there, you can do it. Today is a new day and a fresh start. I hear exercise is a great way to relieve stresss
hint hint emoticon

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JKSTEIN123 9/8/2009 10:02PM

    You need to look over your "Blogs of the past" and find yourself again. I hope you do.

I remember when I lost 35lbs and I kept thinking to myself "I will get back inthe swing again, I have it in me" I never did, for 2 years, and all my weight came back. I was mortified.

You have worked way to hard to get where you are today. Find that guy! It is important for YOU!

Comment edited on: 9/8/2009 10:03:22 PM

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ALEXSGIRL1 9/8/2009 8:47PM

    hope you and the wife have a nice walk. you know what you have to do and will do it.i have missed you, i can count on you to motivate me. i love that you are a good story teller, but you don't lie.your honest.i see great things coming your way.

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KNH771 9/8/2009 6:31PM

    Hey, at least you realize you're slipping off the wagon. That's half the battle there. And you have a great support group around you. I have no doubt you'll not only be back on the wagon, but driving it soon. Keep in touch!

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RACKETMOM 9/8/2009 2:31PM

    It's so good to have you back-I was starting to go through my BOTZZZ Days of Our Lives Soap Opera withdrawals-LOL!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Fall is coming!! Fall is coming!! That contagious crispness in the air & we will continue to be the best 'usses' we can be!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SWEETZMIX 9/8/2009 10:25AM

    Glad to hear from you. I am all over the place with other crap. It's funny how we let other stuff get in the way, but that's life. Enjoy your time with you mom, you don't get to see her all the time. I know you will pick up where you left off!

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PUMPKINFACE73 9/8/2009 9:06AM

    Hey U...I love this blog, you are right on the $$$ Chucky...I have been doing the same...lets knock it off, put your bike in the car and come on for a ride..ready??

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WENDYSPARKS 9/8/2009 7:28AM

    Hi Bozzz, it is nice to see you blogging once again! I missed you here! Hang in there! We all look forward to you posting and telling it like it is! Dust yourself off and start over,,,friend wendy emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TRACYZABELLE 9/8/2009 3:59AM

    Sometimes we get burnt out and it is understandable-- you burnt and burnt and needed a rest.. good to see you back

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SQUIRRELLYMOM 9/8/2009 1:23AM

    Hey, glad you're back and up to your usual exercising & green tea/water drinking self. I have gotten to where I depend on your motivation to keep me going...not to add any pressure there. LOL

Glad you had a great visit with your mom & got lots of work done around the house.

Off to have another glass of water before getting some sleep.

Linda

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THECOOLESTSARAH 9/7/2009 9:37PM

    Hi! Miss you! So glad to see you are back in action - I need to get going again too. September has that fresh feeling for me, and I'm hoping that the regimented schedule of fall will help me get organized and moving!

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SUNSHINEBILL 9/7/2009 9:36PM

    You always tell it like it i!!! That also let's me know it's Ok if somedays are diamonds and somedays are stones.
Thanks all you do for us and glad you are back!
Bill

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LAURIE5658 9/7/2009 8:09PM

    Tony, as one of your regular stalkers or groupie...your pick...I have missed you and I had a feeling you were taking a break. I was also hoping that you would not let the past months and years' worth of hard work slip away. I am proud that you did well with maintaining AND remembering the Spark techniques that you learned that brought you back to us.

I will be here waiting your arrival back to Sparking when you are ready. I will be ready with frienship and support...as ever.

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DDOORN 9/7/2009 6:37PM

    Good for you to catch a slip before it gains traction!

Keep the SPARK! :-)

Don

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_RAMONA 9/7/2009 3:27PM

    Hey there Tony! Always glad to hear from/about you, but don't you fuss the times other stuff has to take precedence (and sometimes just living each day has to do that, and fun, and rest... fleas... OMG THAT would have done me in!)

One statement you made has got me pondering...

"Lately I have just been kicking back, feet up and enjoying the fruits of my 20 months worth of labor, is that bad? I don't think so, but at the same time I do need to keep my eye on the end game because this kid still has a way to go before entering the realm of a normal healthy person."

Ya know, I think you already have entered the realm of a 'normal, healthy person'. I do understand what you mean about having a ways to go before you've reached your weight loss and fitness goals, and that you have to be engaged in a certain focussed way to get there. Yet, normal healthy people aren't ever hyper focused on exercise and weight. They roll with life and use a certain set of core strategies to maintain their current state of being until life allows them to re-set their focus. I dunno, it could just be me, but I see you doing this. Could your 'maintenance strategies use some refining? Perhaps, but that's a process that develops over time. I wouldn't consider you a weight loss drop-out if you just worked on maintaining for a month, several months, a year.

Personally, I believe that a person with as much weight to lose as you have actually needs to take self-determined breaks from the active process of losing so as to define, develop and integrate maintenance strategies (a.k.a. LIFESTYLE) along the way. You learned some stuff during your trip to Disney. You're learning some stuff these last few weeks. You're not disengaged... you're stepping back a little, and I think that's a good thing! Lifestyle isn't what you're doing while you are losing weight, lifestyle is what you are doing when you can maintain your current weight indefinitely.... And you shouldn't feel pressured, nor should you feel as though you need to appologise for not being gungho all of the time. I think you're doing your part just by showing us that you can stay where you are!

Losing or maintaining, you're still one of my heroes!

As ever,
Me, too!

P.S. I LOVE that picture!

Comment edited on: 9/7/2009 6:47:49 PM

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GLOBALKEEWEE 9/7/2009 3:16PM

    a) Glad you're fine
b) Glad you're re-energizing yourself for your next big kick.

You're totally right that it's cool to take a break, that's how you avoid becoming totally burned out. However you've got that next wind coming, you can feel it, when you get sick of the current state and say "Let's go!"



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CHARGER25 9/7/2009 3:09PM

    I think it is pretty normal to want to take a little blow during the game we are all playing here. You don't sound as if you have given up.....It's just that life sometimes gets in the way...no big deal.

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SCWEBER 9/7/2009 1:45PM

    I have found that motivation is much easier to come by when death/illness/constant pain are at the door than when you're feeling good! You've done an unbelievable job of staying on track for so long. I might have to start thinking you were not human if you kept being so consistent forever! Thanks for the past and future inspiration.

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BILLALEX70 9/7/2009 1:29PM

    Hey buddy,

I like to call it a reset. Sometimes it's good along the path to hit reset. Your body has changed dramatically in the past couple years and will continue to change as you progress further. Sometimes it's good to take a little break from actively losing and then resume in a week or two.

Excuses are everywhere, but sometimes life gets in the way. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself as I know you'll be back on track and this soon will pass. At this point I would say that just by showing up here blogging about your 'stumble' shows you're growing and learning.

Get back to the hard work and don't look back.
emoticon

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TELERIE 9/7/2009 1:01PM

    Hell yea, no excuses! Welcome back, great to have you posting again. Seems we're all having a busy September, it's _that_ time of year, isn't it... Keep on keeping on...

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FATGEEKNINJA 9/7/2009 12:51PM

    Glad to see you :) The key between before and now (at least for me) is knowing when I am making excuses and not letting myself off the hook anymore. BTW, what is that picture from?! It is SO familiar and bugging me lol!

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PUCKYGIRL 9/7/2009 12:23PM

    You will get back in the game when you are ready. You are not bad at all for taking a break. You have done well. But just remember you have come to far to fall to far off the health wagon. Just remember and keep an eye on the end. It will come. Glad to know you are okay and all is good....
barb
emoticon

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AINTSKEERD 9/7/2009 11:59AM

    Hang in there. No, I don't think there is anything at all wrong with stepping back for a bit to enjoy the fruits of your labor. The key is 'stepping back', not slacking off.

Even if you are not tracking for a bit, you can still keep up with your fluids and maintain your loss so far. It is a lot of work just to maintain. Even if you are not getting as much 'planned' exercise, it sounds like you are staying active with home chores and that is good. In fact, that can work body parts that we don't expect.

When you have a bit of time, sit down, map out your strategy, set a start date and get back at it. Keep up the great work, Tony. We are all here to help in any way we can....just let us know. tam

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LISAMG1220 9/7/2009 11:37AM

    Chin up young man! You have the convictions to grab that brass ring! One slip does not mean your whole journey is in the trash! The most important thing is you pulled yourself up by those boot straps and have hopped back in the saddle. I had a slip myself this past week and I am going to bust on through it and get back on track! I don't know if you like Metallica, but I usually listen to Fuel to get the motor running..Gimme fuel, Gimme fire, Gimme that which I desire! Rock on my SP friend!! Have a wonderful week!
emoticon emoticon
Lisa

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SIMPLE_TAILOR 9/7/2009 11:25AM

    Great to see you back at it.

ttyl

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