Monday, September 21, 2009
I am still feeling comfortable and not pushing as hard as I know that I should be, this is a problem for me...
This weekend I did more manual labor around the house but I did nothing that could be categorized as exercise in my book, I did not run, I did not ride my bike, I did not even go for a walk. I did do more work on the brick patio on Saturday and I did paint random things that needed touching up and I did walk around all day Sunday through department stores where I scored some Carhart pants on the cheap at a Cabelas sidewalk sale but none of that is exercise no matter what any of these calorie calculators say. I need to find my groove in the world of exercise once again and that is the bottom line, once I start that the rest always seems to fall into place on its own and all of this is happening on the eve of cold weather and I know that I have to get into a groove before the weather becomes an excuse to not work out. Life seems somehow busier lately, kind of like there is not a spare minute for me to work in some exercise and I know this is not the truth because I have 2 hours all to myself every weekday while my daughter is in her preschool class so what am I doing in these 2 hours that does not equal exercise? more errands usually but I am going to starting today make it a point to get at least something into those 2 hours because I need to remember where I was not too long ago, you know pressed into that dent in the old leather couch.
I was in a position a little more than a year and a half ago where I stopped and said that nothing was more important than my health, nothing mattered if I could not get control of this health issue which consisted of 250 excessive pounds attached to my body and I stuck to that. I made losing weight my job and my wife even joked about that fact more than once but now that I am down more than 200 pounds I am sliding other things into the more important slot and I am unsure that I am at a point where that should be the case just yet. I have said this before but wasn't losing the weight kind of so that I could be comfortable with myself again? wasn't it so that I did not have to worry about a possible heart attack at any given moment? wasn't it because I was afraid that I could die at any second of any random day? it was. With all of the above said I am going to start doing evening update posts to stay accountable with my exercise and menu's, what that means is good bad ugly it will be posted once per night because I really need to get this thing rolling again. I know that things are just very very busy right now wrapping up summer projects around the house and I am not making sure that everything is measured and weighed where my calories go and that I am doing house work in place of exercise and really just running out of time but that sounds a lot like excuses to me when I say it out loud and I am not going to make excuses for why I did or did not do something, if I had the time to do the exercise when I weighed more I can find the time now.
Now that sounds like I am being pretty hard on myself and I am but honestly I have done ok with the calories just not good, and I have done some exercise with mostly random walks but that is not the level of work that I had built myself up to so its just not good enough for me. I have to commit to at least 30 minutes of cardio per day and that is the bottom line because without that the weight just really slows to a crawl or stops completely and well, I still have a lot of weight to lose so I can't have that. As I am typing this out I am thinking about my words and am feeling like I sound like a broken record the last few posts with all of the "I know what I need to do" and "man I am busy as hell" its all starting to sound like excuses to me and it has to stop!
Bottom line is me and fatty are back on to go to the prom and I gotta stop making $hit up as to why I am not doing what I know how to do. Its done right here in this last paragraph because it has to be, because I have to do what I need to do for me because without me I can't have the rest and I honestly feel like something clicked in my head as I wrote this post out so onward with the program. Look for the update posts in the evenings for a while and I do believe that I am actually back this time, so tune in tomorrow for the next episode of Fatman and Blobbin to find out whether Fatman chewed through the corner of the refrigerator to get that last piece of fudge or if he resisted temptation.
You all got to witness my thought process happening almost in real time in this post, its happened before and I am sure it will happen again so until then thanks for following and I need to eat my own words and get up off of my ass and grab a big glass of H2O for myself.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Today I weighed in to get a baseline number for my 25 pounds lost by Nov 11th challenge to myself and we came in at 340.2 pounds so up a whopping 10 pounds from my all time low weight of 330 pounds. I think this is important for me to get back into the swing of this whole weight loss thing, I say weight loss because in recent months I have more focused on the healthy part of it and stopped worrying so much about the actual raw weight and I need to get the weight moving downward again.
I have learned that I can eat like a normal person and not really gain too much weight, I have learned that I can exercise during the week and not feel like I am being forced to move, and I have learned that I was missing out on a lot when I was 500 plus pounds. I sometimes get asked how I do it, how do I stick to it day after day. all of the counting, measuring, balancing carbs/fat/protein/calories and my answer is simple, I do not over think any of this. what? no way you just use the K.I.S.S method and are having success! no way I say! indeed I am.
I receive emails from people periodically asking me things like "how many grams of fat do you allow yourself per day?" or "what ratio do you use for your fat/protein/carbs?" my answer is that I do not over complicate the process and what that means is that I do not count those things at all. At the core of it we are just another animal and the way I see it is if we just eat smart and balanced we can be healthy. the only thing that I limit is my calories, I can eat whatever I want throughout the day as long as it all adds up to roughly 1700 calories, if I want to eat 1700 calories worth of baked potatoes in a day so be it but it better not go over at least not too much over 1700 calories, now that is not how I do it, I mean I have never eaten 1700 calories worth of potatoes in a day...well maybe back a couple years ago I may have but now not so much, I try to eat a bit from each group per meal and call it a day. some days I am carb heavy, I figure on those days that its what my body needed for nourishment and then some days I may be heavy on the protein which the same conclusion gets made, I must have needed it that day.
Our bodies are amazing and can tell us a lot about what we need with cravings or with pain, I don't think that as we evolved there was a manual written with exact amounts of fuel for each particular task or movement and either we adhere to that or we shall all become gelatinous masses plopped along the planet. Every one of us is different and the same all at once, basically we all need roughly the same things to survive and remain healthy but there is no guide book to follow, no magical figure that will smite fat from our bones if followed to the letter. The way I feel about it is that we are merely another animal gracing the crust of this planet that we all call home and if we eat to live instead of living only to find the next best triple fudge brownie that we can all be healthy and less rotund. Eat lean meats eat veggies drink much and we are eating healthy its that simple, none of the over thinking is necessary, complicate things and they get difficult and soon we find ourselves giving it up..at least that is my experience with things. I will admit to eating a lot of whole foods and I drink green tea like no other but besides that it is really just counting calories, less in than I burn and that's that.
I have been thinking about the C25K program lately and how I never did finish it all of the way through, I was blasting through it and enjoying myself doing so and then got hurt and when I had recovered I had bought a bike and the "fun factor" of that over ruled the running but it is getting cooler out again and I have been itching to start the program back up. A few things to mention about why I stopped running, some dumb some legitimate and some just not a whole lot to it either way. I am not past the "fat guy" thing yet and what I mean is that I am still a fat guy ~ duh but what I mean is that when I was running I wore a compression shirt and that bothered me a bit, not comfort in the traditional sense but comfort in the way that it looked to me. I wore it under a tee shirt which was ok but when that was on my shirts looked odd to me but I ran anyways and as I was hounded on (you know who you are) to get running again the thought of wearing that shirt to stop the swaying of the looseness was not making me want to run. Now that it is getting cooler outside I can wear a hoodie when I run which will do a great job of hiding the sway, dumb reason I know but hey, when ya lose 200 pounds the skin is not as taught as one would like t to be and well yeah.
So there you have the random thoughts of none other than Me to ponder with your morning java, or hopefully tea! The start weight for my 25 pounds bt Nov 11th challenge will be set at 340 and I may start running again very soon as well, hitting the ground running this week to kick start me back into my groove and I will do my best to keep the posts on the blog in a daily fashion once again, weekends may be iffy (like always) but I will try and post tomorrow at some point again just to get a menu up. Thank you for following along and if you have made it to this point in the post you do deserve a drink of water so get on up and grab a glass as this post seems to have become a long one.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
12:20 am and since about 10:30 pm pain from these wonderful gallstones has kept me wiggling in my seat so I figured if I was up I could write an entry. I ate well today, my total calories came in at 1795 so 95 calories higher than my caloric limit and that is what I call on target, especially since I just tossed at least 1/3 of dinner into my septic system a couple of minutes ago, hmmmm can I deduct that from my calories for the day? probably not. I drank 1 gallon of green tea, one 12oz coke zero, and three 44 oz glasses of straight H2O throughout the day so I will say that I am properly hydrated. Where movement comes into play I did not do anything that I would call on purpose exercise but Wify and I did cut out 3 wild rosebushes that were overgrown all over the shed in my back yard, I took out a wasp nest with the lid to a bucket and some fast stomping action and cleared an area around the shed in prep for painting it before it gets too cold outside. Over all it was an on track day with a very busy morning which consisted of driving all over the state taking care of errands as an appetizer to the chopping of the bushes.
I have recommitted myself to this weight loss game in the past couple of days and am setting a goal of 25 pounds lost by Nov 11th which is the date that I see my doc next and I believe this to be an ambitions goal. I know that I am up in weight from my low weight of 330 pounds, just how much I am unsure of so this Friday I will do a weigh in post and use that number for my Nov 11th goal which is just over 3 pounds per week. I know that 3 pounds per week is a huge number but I think that I need to have something that seems impossible in front of me in order for me to conquer it.
This week I will resculpt my routine not out of stone this time but maybe into my arm so that I never forget that I need to stay on point with my new habits no matter how comfortable I am in my own skin. Staying in the groove that I have cut into my path is as important as drinking enough fluid or might I go as far as saying that it is as important as oxygen itself, because there was a point in my life when I was scared with every last bit of me that death was coming my way much earlier than it had to and because I fought back and beat it into the ground starting in Jan 2008 is no excuse to let up on the pressure just yet. Am I healthier than I was so many months ago? damn skippy I am, can I do things today that were merely thoughts and ideas a little more than a year ago? yes sir, and am I in a better place than I was back then? You betcha! so what the fuvk am I thinking when I let things slip just because I got a bit comfortable with where I am? From here on out I am back in that high gear and focusing on what I need to be pointed at because like I have said a multitude of times, I am NOT done with what I have started therefore I must get my $hit together again and get where I need to be where my health is concerned.
With that my gut has calmed enough for me to attempt to go lay down and almost an hour has passed since I started writing this post so I bid thee farewell until tomorrow.
Thanks for following along, keep on keepin on and all that.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Busy is as busy does and a few other things have me all tied up as of late and I honestly just have not had the time nor the frame of mind to write in my blog regularly the past few weeks. Since my posting has slowed I have gotten some emails saying things like "please post a blog, you have no idea how much that they help me stay on track" and I have gotten a few asking "how did your gall bladder surgery go? is that why you haven't posted in a while?" even some just stating "I hope everything is ok, I noticed that you have not posted regularly lately" right on down to "if you don't start blogging soon I will hunt you down and MAKE you write a post!" and then there are the comments left on here, and I thank each and every one of you for all of the email letters as well as the comments, they do mean a lot to me.
I have not had a surgery as of yet for my gallstones, no real reason other than I just haven't had the time to set it up and go do it, my daughter is in school now which you would think that I might have more free time to workout or whatever but I have been using the time to get projects that have been started and remain unfinished done, hence the no posting. I have laid a brick patio in my back yard, built an awning, painted much of the interior and exterior of our house, built a plant table for my back porch and some benches for around my fire pit in the back yard, battled Spartan fleas along with a few things that will not make the blog and dealt with most of this all while my back was going through one of its hissy fits, it has been an eventful few weeks.
I am finding that staying on track is give and take with all of that said, I am eating good foods for the most part, I am exercising here and there, mostly walks around the lake with Wify but nothing more than that and the physical labor around the house and what I am seeing is that I did go up a few pounds but have been hovering there for at least the last 3 weeks with no effort at all with my eating or exercising which is both good and bad at the same time, now let me splain Lucy.
If I am able to stay at my current weight with close to zero effort, in fact I have had a couple trips to Dairy queen this last month so it IS a very laid back approach for me lately, this is a great thing! because it shows me that I am capable of eating an amount that does not make me blow back up to Violet Beauregarde stature again by letting my guard down, this is wonderful! I have relearned to eat in moderation and move enough to maintain a small weight range. The flip side of that silver coin is that it means that mentally things are naturally going to shift gears a bit because I am comfortable, I believe when people become too comfy that the game changes more than a bit, I am not saying that I am any less driven or determined to hit my weight loss and health goals but the time line becomes less important because I am not held back by my weight right now, I run with my kids in the yard, I rarely sit still long enough to get bored (perfect example is this blog not being written in lately) and I can positively say that I am comfortable in my own skin, no matter how much of it is extra for the time being.
Being comfortable is a double edged sword for those reasons, I mean it is the point of all of this right? to be healthy and able to do what I want to do? to be able to play with my kids and take walks with my wife? in that respect I am at my goal, I am a happier person than I was a year and a half ago, I am healthier than I have been in quite some time so I have won right? not totally true, indeed I am all of those things but I am still a 300 plus pound fellow wandering the planet like a behemoth in search of an adventure or perhaps just a bite to eat, I have lots to accomplish before I am finished, I want to run a 5k race, I want to get back into lifting weights and I need to make sure that my children understand how important living healthy is so that I may not read a blog in the future written by one of them explaining to the world just how difficult living as a fat person is, I just cannot let that happen.
I sit here 623 days after starting down a path to better health and it has dawned on me, I am comfortable with my physical self for the first time in just about a decade and for that I am grateful, but I do see a lot of road left ahead of me so letting up at this junction would not be a good thing.
Thank you to everyone that has emailed me or left me a message or comment, honestly it was an email that I got that made me look at things and decide that I have to start blogging regularly again and prompted this entry, keep on keepin on and all that and don't forget that H2O, tomorrow is another day and I will do my best to make sure that I toss up a new entry in the am.
Monday, September 07, 2009
Where has he gone? that guy, you know the guy that is stricter than a Sunday school teacher, the fella that drinks like a fish and exercises like he has no sense in his head, I miss him, I know that he is still around but he finds himself gazing out the window of health lately just watching shiny stuff that catches his eye. I am finding that complacency is setting in where my eating and exercise regimen are concerned and I need to get my juju back sooner than later and basically get my ass back in the game. It's funny how just a tad bit of stress tossed into the works can effect the direction of a perfectly formed and smoothly running plan, just a couple bumps strategically placed in the path of a person by life mixed up with the comfort of being able to move freely through the world again and bamn! complacency.
I have a long way to go on my health journey, I am down 200 pounds so far and have changed my life in a way that I did not think possible. I did it with a ton of determination and discipline while making good food choices and exercising my as off literally as well as figuratively but lately I have just been kicking back, feet up and enjoying the fruits of my 20 months worth of labor, is that bad? I don't think so, but at the same time I do need to keep my eye on the end game because this kid still has a way to go before entering the realm of a normal healthy person.
In the past week of not really posting I have received dozens of emails from people that read my blog asking if everything is ok or offering to be that shoulder if I need one, I think that is awesome. Think about it, all of these people that have never met me and are all concerned because I haven't posted regular like, kind of cool in my book. I am ok! I am still here, just been busy with more than a few things the last couple weeks, My mom is here visiting from Cali, I put in a patio in my back yard, dealing with a few docs talking about a few things and finishing up painting the exterior of my house before the winter gets here so a bit busy is the flavor of the month. The house is painted, My mother is flying home tomorrow morning, the patio is 90% completed and talking to the docs can happen either way so I am going to get back with the regular posts again, mostly because I need to as I have been a bad boy where my eating goes.
I have not counted my calories in some time, lots of eating on the fly because of being out and about with my mom the last 2 weeks and..... see right there? did ya see that? that there was an excuse folks and guess who doesn't make excuses any more? yep that would be me, so might I retract that last bit and say that I have not been doing what I need to be doing so that I can with full honesty say that I am doing my part, because I haven't been doing my part the last couple weeks, this will not continue and I am back.
I am leaps and bounds beyond where I was once upon 2 years ago but need to remember where once upon a time was so that I stay focused.
With that, the end has come to a post, I am heading out for a walk around my lake with the Wify.
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