Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Busy is as busy does and a few other things have me all tied up as of late and I honestly just have not had the time nor the frame of mind to write in my blog regularly the past few weeks. Since my posting has slowed I have gotten some emails saying things like "please post a blog, you have no idea how much that they help me stay on track" and I have gotten a few asking "how did your gall bladder surgery go? is that why you haven't posted in a while?" even some just stating "I hope everything is ok, I noticed that you have not posted regularly lately" right on down to "if you don't start blogging soon I will hunt you down and MAKE you write a post!" and then there are the comments left on here, and I thank each and every one of you for all of the email letters as well as the comments, they do mean a lot to me.
I have not had a surgery as of yet for my gallstones, no real reason other than I just haven't had the time to set it up and go do it, my daughter is in school now which you would think that I might have more free time to workout or whatever but I have been using the time to get projects that have been started and remain unfinished done, hence the no posting. I have laid a brick patio in my back yard, built an awning, painted much of the interior and exterior of our house, built a plant table for my back porch and some benches for around my fire pit in the back yard, battled Spartan fleas along with a few things that will not make the blog and dealt with most of this all while my back was going through one of its hissy fits, it has been an eventful few weeks.
I am finding that staying on track is give and take with all of that said, I am eating good foods for the most part, I am exercising here and there, mostly walks around the lake with Wify but nothing more than that and the physical labor around the house and what I am seeing is that I did go up a few pounds but have been hovering there for at least the last 3 weeks with no effort at all with my eating or exercising which is both good and bad at the same time, now let me splain Lucy.
If I am able to stay at my current weight with close to zero effort, in fact I have had a couple trips to Dairy queen this last month so it IS a very laid back approach for me lately, this is a great thing! because it shows me that I am capable of eating an amount that does not make me blow back up to Violet Beauregarde stature again by letting my guard down, this is wonderful! I have relearned to eat in moderation and move enough to maintain a small weight range. The flip side of that silver coin is that it means that mentally things are naturally going to shift gears a bit because I am comfortable, I believe when people become too comfy that the game changes more than a bit, I am not saying that I am any less driven or determined to hit my weight loss and health goals but the time line becomes less important because I am not held back by my weight right now, I run with my kids in the yard, I rarely sit still long enough to get bored (perfect example is this blog not being written in lately) and I can positively say that I am comfortable in my own skin, no matter how much of it is extra for the time being.
Being comfortable is a double edged sword for those reasons, I mean it is the point of all of this right? to be healthy and able to do what I want to do? to be able to play with my kids and take walks with my wife? in that respect I am at my goal, I am a happier person than I was a year and a half ago, I am healthier than I have been in quite some time so I have won right? not totally true, indeed I am all of those things but I am still a 300 plus pound fellow wandering the planet like a behemoth in search of an adventure or perhaps just a bite to eat, I have lots to accomplish before I am finished, I want to run a 5k race, I want to get back into lifting weights and I need to make sure that my children understand how important living healthy is so that I may not read a blog in the future written by one of them explaining to the world just how difficult living as a fat person is, I just cannot let that happen.
I sit here 623 days after starting down a path to better health and it has dawned on me, I am comfortable with my physical self for the first time in just about a decade and for that I am grateful, but I do see a lot of road left ahead of me so letting up at this junction would not be a good thing.
Thank you to everyone that has emailed me or left me a message or comment, honestly it was an email that I got that made me look at things and decide that I have to start blogging regularly again and prompted this entry, keep on keepin on and all that and don't forget that H2O, tomorrow is another day and I will do my best to make sure that I toss up a new entry in the am.
Monday, September 07, 2009
Where has he gone? that guy, you know the guy that is stricter than a Sunday school teacher, the fella that drinks like a fish and exercises like he has no sense in his head, I miss him, I know that he is still around but he finds himself gazing out the window of health lately just watching shiny stuff that catches his eye. I am finding that complacency is setting in where my eating and exercise regimen are concerned and I need to get my juju back sooner than later and basically get my ass back in the game. It's funny how just a tad bit of stress tossed into the works can effect the direction of a perfectly formed and smoothly running plan, just a couple bumps strategically placed in the path of a person by life mixed up with the comfort of being able to move freely through the world again and bamn! complacency.
I have a long way to go on my health journey, I am down 200 pounds so far and have changed my life in a way that I did not think possible. I did it with a ton of determination and discipline while making good food choices and exercising my as off literally as well as figuratively but lately I have just been kicking back, feet up and enjoying the fruits of my 20 months worth of labor, is that bad? I don't think so, but at the same time I do need to keep my eye on the end game because this kid still has a way to go before entering the realm of a normal healthy person.
In the past week of not really posting I have received dozens of emails from people that read my blog asking if everything is ok or offering to be that shoulder if I need one, I think that is awesome. Think about it, all of these people that have never met me and are all concerned because I haven't posted regular like, kind of cool in my book. I am ok! I am still here, just been busy with more than a few things the last couple weeks, My mom is here visiting from Cali, I put in a patio in my back yard, dealing with a few docs talking about a few things and finishing up painting the exterior of my house before the winter gets here so a bit busy is the flavor of the month. The house is painted, My mother is flying home tomorrow morning, the patio is 90% completed and talking to the docs can happen either way so I am going to get back with the regular posts again, mostly because I need to as I have been a bad boy where my eating goes.
I have not counted my calories in some time, lots of eating on the fly because of being out and about with my mom the last 2 weeks and..... see right there? did ya see that? that there was an excuse folks and guess who doesn't make excuses any more? yep that would be me, so might I retract that last bit and say that I have not been doing what I need to be doing so that I can with full honesty say that I am doing my part, because I haven't been doing my part the last couple weeks, this will not continue and I am back.
I am leaps and bounds beyond where I was once upon 2 years ago but need to remember where once upon a time was so that I stay focused.
With that, the end has come to a post, I am heading out for a walk around my lake with the Wify.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
It has been almost 2 weeks since I posted, let me just say that its been crazy hectic around here! between the flea infestation, my daughter starting school and my mother visiting from California I just have really had no time to sit down and write a blog. I had a birthday party for my daughter over the weekend and Heather (PUMPKINFACE for you spark people) came by and threatened me with bodily injury if I did not soon get a post up so I thought rather than get shanked that I would post.
Let me start the post by saying that I have been not been on the so straight and narrow where my eating and exercise has been concerned, I hurt my back last month and that is still lingering so I have not been getting my exercise in which I know sounds like a fat guy excuse but it is in fact what it is and I am going to try to get out for a bike ride sometime today. Eating good food has not really been what I have been doing this week, between the birthday party and my mom insisting on ordering pizza one night (it was more me NOT saying no) I have been eating whatever I want to including and up to a more than a few beers throughout the week, and today I am back to counting my 1700 again. Green tea? whats that? I have not been drinking my tea and I have been drinking minimal H2O, why? I have no clue why I have not been drinking but yesterday I drank a gallon each of straight H2O and green tea so again I am back on track with that. Lets call today the beginning of the end of the old ways that are actually the new ways which I suppose were the old old ways so either way yeah..I am back on track.
I had a proud daddy moment on Sunday because of my daughter and something she said, actually its more like an "Atta boy" moment and good on me for being a positive role model but either way I was pleased. We were out and about and a tiny voice cried from the back seat of the Family truckster "I'm tirsty Daddy" and we were just about pulling into our destination but there was no where to get a drink and wify spotted a Mcdisgusting up ahead and she said "pull in there and grab a diet coke or a juice for her" the drive through line was very long so wify ran in. While sitting in the parking lot I was chatting with my little girl and she looked up at the golden arches and said "Daddy what kind of store is that?" I said "Its Mcdonalds honey" she said "what do they sell in there?" I just smiled and told her that they sold yucky food but that we could get a drink for her there, she was satisfied with the answer and patiently waited for mommy to return. I thought about how she might just be the only kid on the planet that didn't know what Mcdonalds was on sight of the big yellow arches (they call them arches but it looks like some bent french fries to me) and I know that she is not brainwashed by the clown with the red hair because I offer her better choices for food and do not eat at fast food joints, I am changing more than just my own life.
So you can see I have been pretty busy and that is why the posts have been thin as of late, My mother is still here on vacation and the tiny spartan warrior fleas numbers are dwindling and I would not call it an infestation any more, we may be down to the final 300 and we all know how that story ends so soon an end shall come to them. My back feels ok the last few days and other than my wedding anniversary I do not think there any distractions in my near future so back on track I go once again. I will post my menu from today out of my excel sheet in tomorrows post and the regularly scheduled program shall return, now as I say with make sure to get that H2O into your days I will take my own advice this time around and get on up and grab myself a glass to add to the quart of green tea that is already down the hatch.
Thanks for reading along.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Within daily life sometimes things happen that are neither here nor there yet they define the moment, they can dictate mind states and control our every waking hour, this week was no different in the way that life keeps going no matter the challenges. Being invaded by the hordes is never a grand moment yet somehow bigger than life while holding focus and can prove to be character shaping at times, when lilliputian enemies rear their ugly heads its time to buckle down and end the day dining in hell if need be.
Day one, Something was amiss, it was quiet and the feline was no where to be found yet the jingle of a bell was ever present, scouting around the mangy beast was found sitting in a corner mumbling something about his precious and the bell on his neck was the only other sound to be heard. bamn! a prick on the ankle, bamn! bamn! in rapid succession two more came and that's when it became clear what had happened, tiny flea warriors had breached the wall. The suction device was deployed and the furry bell ringer was quarantined while the area was cleared of tiny invaders, night fell and sleep was had.
Day two, Upon waking a messenger sat boldly upon the forearm of the master, gnawing on flesh caring not that he would be seen, with a pinch and a short walk to the basin this intruder was drown and disposed of. The day progressed normally until a scream was heard from one of the sleeping quarters and five more invaders were captured and drown, what could be done? obviously something had to be done immediately but what? Poison! yes poison would certainly do the trick, so one of the elders was given the task of laying poison and using the suction device to take care of the petite trespassers and a castle in a far away land was visited comfortably knowing that the elder would surely take care of this problem.
Day three, which was really day nine for the inhabitants and upon returning from the rodents palace they were informed that the poison had just been applied only hours before so nine days worth of poisoning was wasted while multiplication of enemies ran amok. Again the feline was quarantined, suction was applied and peaceful living returned for a short time, a very short time. It was not long before there were minuscule vermin wearing blue face paint screaming "Freeeeedooooommmm!!" bringing Chaos to the realm once again so foggers were dispatched while the inhabitants left for the day only to return to find that the foggers were not enough to penetrate the armor of the microscopic warriors besieging a peaceful land, sleeping would prove more difficult this time around.
Day...the days are melting together into one big mass of turmoil as the suction device is being deployed hourly once again. Standing in his quarters a lone opponent was noticed watching as a conversation was had, "This is madness honey" I said to the lady of the house and in a loud whisper a reply was heard from the corner of a bureau where one of the wee warriors stood proudly "Madness? THIS IS SPARTAAAAAA!" Sparta? This is New England motherfuvker! now get out! a new battery of foggers have been acquired from the supply house and will be utilized on the eve of morrow, 9 of them to be exact, if this does not purge these lilliputian warriors from our domain I will be at a loss and will have to consider a retreat.
I fear this may be the last entry if considerable ground is not made up in this next battle, My friends, wish me luck.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Just hanging around here and not doing a lot of moving because of this back pain, I am getting anxious to do something, I want to ride my bike, or go for a walk, maybe a swim is what I want to do and I cannot. I got to thinking about it and this is what I use to do all of the time at 534 pounds, yep that's right, just sitting in my ass shaped mark on the old leather couch pretty much summed up most of my days, I mean there were random trips to the bathroom or refrigerator but the rest of the time was pretty much spent sitting on my posterior and here I am now on day two of just relaxing my back and I am starting to go nuts! I got excited when I thought to vacuum the house about 30 minutes ago but that started tightening things up in the old back so I put it away and here I am again, sitting.
I am kind of blown away at the fact that today is only the second day that I am relaxing and pretty much just sitting here doing nothing and I am starting to feel a little bit leashed and not so long ago it was just how I lived my life. It is amazing how a persons perception of what they are doing can change depending on the circumstances of the moment, when I was 500 plus pounds my back hurt all of the time and I know that I used it as an excuse to justify why I was not doing anything but sitting, never wanting to admit that I was just too big to be very mobile and that I knew all along that something needed to change. Now that I am doing things pretty much all of the time sitting idle for a mere day and a half makes me want to go for a ride on my bike pain be damned but I know its not smart so again..here I sit.
Realizing that I use to do this sitting around thing when I could have been doing other things is eye opening as to how different states of mind can dictate reactions. I was not happy with the way things were even though I would never admit back then it was true, it hurt to do just about anything that lasted more than 5 minutes and lets keep our minds out of the gutter folks that's not what I meant! (though its included on that list) and sitting around was ok with me because of that fact. Fast forward to today and a two day break from doing anything has me bouncing off of the walls figuratively of course as even standing up hurts but I gotta tell you that even bouncing off of the walls sounds like a good time to me right now and back then I would embrace the fact that I had an honest to goodness bonafide excuse to sit stationary for hours.
I don't wish very often because if you wish into one hand and $hit into the other you will soon see which fills up first, but I really do wish that I had come to a few realizations years ago because to me it is honestly more about the mindset that one puts them self into which dictates the actions that are taken by an individual. If I had been able to pull myself out of the funk earlier this blog would be that much older and I would likely have been on Oprah or something by now sharing how I lost 300 pounds (which is slightly insane in itself that I could possibly lose 300 pounds and still weigh 234 pounds) but I was unable to do it until I saw fear and now here I am 200 plus pounds lost so far and going nuts because I have to rest as a result of a sore back instead of exercising.
I am the same man and so very different all at the same time compared to who I was in 2008 because of this lifestyle change and every day I learn a little bit more about myself because of it.
Get An Email Alert Each Time BOTZZZ Posts