Wednesday, August 05, 2009
I was accused of having an "air of superiority" while being "somehow better, while these people are surely ignorant." (fat people) in a comment on This post about me reflecting back to what once was a sure future for me a couple days ago, by someone that chose to post under the tag of Anonymous (of course) so I figured I would do something that I have never done on my blog, give Mr or Mrs Anonymous a response in a post.
I won't repost the comment in this post but if you are interested in reading it in its entirety the link is above in the first paragraph. for the Spark people here is the link zeusmeatball.blogspot.com/2009/07/re
In that reply this person starts off with "because you are a reformed fat guy" after the first part of their comment. Reformed fat guy? me? I am STILL a fat guy! in fact I still have more than 70 pounds to lose to get where I would like to be where weight is concerned. To call me a "reformed fat guy" and say that I have an "air of superiority" as well as "Many people experience a sense of moral superiority when they lose weight" so not only am I superior but I am morally superior as well? that is simply plain old silly, I cannot help but to think wow is this person actually reading anything that I post? I have to wonder.
Part of that comment that actually made me laugh is "it's not okay to judge people based on one conversation you overheard in a restaurant" as I do not judge ANYONE, especially heavier folks because I been there done that and know how hard it already is without people judging. The other funny part about that piece of the comment is that on the very same post someone on my Sparkpeople page commented (I post on blogspot and sparkpeople under the name BOTZZZ for those of you that don't know) "And it was great to see you not judging the person, but gathering the lesson to be learned at that moment in time" so I guess its all how a person looks at the words typed out because two separate people read the same post one got it, and one...not so much.
The commenter also says "You always mention that these people you are noticing are overweight. Do you notice the same thing when a thin person orders fatty food?" The short answer to that is yes, I do notice the same thing whenever ANYONE orders meals like that. I literally look at and attempt to count in my head every piece of food that I see a person eating, as I mentioned in posts before my wife thinks that I am nuts (and I may very well be at this point) because I literally have the caloric amounts for most of the food that we eat stored inside my head. It is very common for her to ask "How many calories are in (insert whatever food here) Honey?" because I have made watching my food intake a HUGE part of my life (for good reason) and it is what I pay attention to, maybe its why I have been able to drop 200 pounds? who knows. Why would I mention a 132 pound stick of a guy that was eating a giant plate of whatever? whats he got to do with a blog about a fat guy that is trying to lose weight and get healthy? what does he have in common with me? the fellow in the restaurant was me in 15 years if I had stayed on the path that I was on (if I would have made it another 15), the fellow in the restaurant actually made me reflect on my life and some of the choices that I made where health was concerned, I felt for him because I understand how hard life as a 500 plus pound person can be and in all honesty re-reading the post the day that I wrote it pulled some emotion out of me and I started to get upset thinking about what could have been for me, if there was anything that I was being that day or in my post about it, that was compassion and understanding.
One of the last things this person says is "I've been reading this blog for a long time, but lately, I just think "where do you get off?" Losing weight doesn't give you a free pass to judge fat people" When I read that I could not believe that whomever left that comment could actually get that from me, you know me, the former 534 pound guy that is currently floating around 338 pounds! especially someone that has "been reading this blog for a long time" Please do not take my bluntness for anything but that, I cannot apologize for telling it how it is or for being a straight talker and to think that I judged that fellow at the restaurant that evening is as far off of base as can be possible because I felt nothing but compassion for him knowing how hard being in his situation can be and is, ask me how I know, and where I get off is not what this blog is about and is kind of a personal question, maybe you could buy me dinner first? perhaps rub my shoulders?
I started off writing this blog so that I would have a place to track my intake and progress while having some accountability and it has become much more than that, I have met people physically (yeah you Heather lol) as well as through email and chat online (Dana and a few more of ya!) that I consider friends because of this blog and for someone to say that I am judgmental of fat people? a wronger statement has never been made. I write this blog now a days more so for the people that take the time to send me email and comments on my blog both congratulating me (love those ones) as well as asking for help or where to find a place to start because I have had some success with weight loss which I try to reply to every one of (life sometimes slows that down) but none the less.
I am damn proud of what I have done for myself and my family with this weight loss, I have busted my ass for more than a year and a half to get this far into my trip to the half and because I noticed a man that could have been me if I hadn't put the brakes on does not make me judgmental or have any kind of superiority complex, in fact it is quite the opposite as I have become very humble in the past 19 months of my life.
How did you say?
"Just think about it. That's all"
Not to use all of a post for that here is a look at my menu from yesterday.
2 cups honey comb cereal 220
1 cup 1% milk 110
1 banana 105
5oz ground turkey 200
2 80 calorie hamburger rolls 160
7oz strawberries 60
1 plum 75
flax/oat pita bread2 60
1 can tuna 150
1 T miracle whip 40
2oz corn tortilla chips 280
1 plum 75
1 can tuna plain 150
Grand total of 1765 calories which is a bit over my daily limit of 1700 but I have had low days this week so it balances out in the long run and I am not too worried about it. For exercise I did get a pretty challenging ride on my bike last night with wify where I found a wicked hill that I now have to conquer and that route added a mile to our ride so a win win! Tomorrow I am talking to a surgeon about the gallbladder issue so I may have more news on that front in a coming post. Until then stay hydrated and remember that we control what goes into our mouth, or more importantly what does NOT go in!
Thanks for following along.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Being over weight is not a fun thing, it is not something that people enjoy and lots of times an overweight person sacrifices a lot just to not be the focus in a room. Sometimes people make sideways remarks or comments about fat people (I'm not going to sugar coat it that's what we are folks) and they think that these comments are helping, or are being kind and in reality it makes the situation so much worse and as a heavier person its hard enough as is.
I think about when I was heavier and some of the things that I did or should I say that I could not do compared to now and I cannot believe that I let it get that far before I did something about it. At what point does a person say enough is enough? Clearly remembering how it felt to not be able to do simple activities like taking a walk around the block with my little girl actually upsets me today because how could I let it go that far? how could I let myself get to that point? back injury or not, I was 534 pounds! simply walking was a chore for me and what kind of Dad could I be if I could not move to do remedial physical tasks properly?
Since losing the weight that I have so far I have become hyper aware of calories and nutrition in not only my food but other peoples food as well. I can almost 100% of the time look at a portion of food and estimate the calories in it within a small range of variation and the whats good for you question is ingrained into my head now as well. Last week My family and I went to a Friendly's restaurant on a whim (mostly because I had about 1000 calories left for the day and it was dinner time) we were seated and in walked a rather large fellow (I would guess over 500 pounds) with his wife and daughter and they were seated next to us. I could not help but notice that he ordered a grilled cheese sandwich with bacon and extra cheese with French fries for his meal, the interesting part was the conversation that followed and the enthusiasm in the words caught my attention.
The man was talking to his daughter (who was about 30 years old and also heavy) he said "I ate a full rack of ribs last night for you" and the rest of that excited conversation was very detailed and about these ribs and I got to thinking, here this fellow is eating a hefty dinner and talking about the dinner that he ate last night almost as if the rack of ribs was a trophy. Now I am sure that I have had that conversation and have been on the same side of those words as he was at some point in my life and I honestly believe that the company that you keep can help you along where weight loss and better health in general are concerned and on the flip side of that coin can help make us fat as well, but talking about last nights dinner in a very detailed and excited way while eating today's dinner? I was there, it was not pretty and should be the point when a person starts to question what they are doing.
My giant Sunflower that my daughter and I have been taking care of together.
Watching someone destroy themselves further, just like I was doing once upon a time actually bothered me, even though I did not know those people I felt bad because I know that they were in a part of that spiral downward and probably had no clue how to stop it. That gentleman was a lot older than I was and I couldn't help but to think about how that could have been me walking with a cane and breathing heavy if I had not decided to change the way that I do things. The part that really bothered me the most was that it could have been my daughter sitting next to me discussing a full rack of ribs with a child like excitement as she positioned her gut into a comfortable position. I WILL NOT put myself or anyone in my family in that position EVER again and I know that the choices that I am making today will affect my children and family in a positive way.
Sometimes a look into a probable future can have an eyes wide open effect on a person, even if its not my future any more.
Get An Email Alert Each Time BOTZZZ Posts