Monday, April 13, 2009
It is time to refocus, because I have to.
This weekend was worse case scenario for me where eating goes, Saturday for whatever reason I was very easy on myself where grabbing the random candy went but for the most part stayed within my calorie range if not over by 100-200 but I did not drink enough and I was up late Friday and Saturday night, when I say late I mean 2:00am-ish.
Easter Sunday was a disaster and I had the willpower of a 10 year old at a candy buffet, The day started off well enough with wify making omelets for breakfast but I did grab a piece of french toast after I ate the omelet, not so bad as it was early. The kids were rummaging through their Easter baskets and I had bought myself a box of 4 cadbury eggs a few nights ago with the intention of eating one per day on top of my calories for Easter weekend as a treat, so out came the box and before we left for Easter dinner at wifys family's place I had eaten 2 of the eggs among other random morsels of goodness, this was all before 1:00PM.
Upon arriving at Wifys aunts house I was promptly handed a Sam Adams white ale and as it was a holiday I don't count calories on holidays I accepted. Before too long I had consumed 2 Sam Adams and a Spaten and meandered into the back yard where the "man folk" were boiling clams and grilling hot dogs, I was handed another Spaten and a couple clams, again I obliged. Dinner was being served at this time and it was buffet style everyone brought something but wify asked if I wanted to wait until everyone was done so that we could take our time after the dinner bell madness died down and that's what we did, I stayed outside watching the kids look for eggs and chatting with the fellas around the grill.
The madness died down and wify asked if I was hungry and that I was! I am 4 beers and a nipper of brandy into my day here and my judgment was not the best at that point judging by the decisions that were made. Scalloped potatoes with bacon, curry rice and veggies, ham, grilled hot dogs, tortellini, eggplant parm and cheese cake cupcakes were among the bounty and surely some of that has attached itself to my ass by this morning. I ate like I use to eat back about 2 years ago, After dinner a red stripe and another nipper of brandy went down and it was time to decorate cupcakes with the kids and it is now roughly 3:30pm.
There was literally no holding back and its time to take my lumps like a big boy (again literally on the big boy part) I drank less than 1/2 gallon of water and zero tea during Saturday and Sunday as a whole. I was up until 2:00 am Friday and Saturday nights and last night was 1:30 am, This IS NOT good for my weight loss regimen! today I cannot stay out of the bathroom and I feel like shit, I am disappointed in myself for having ANOTHER bad weekend and I am sore and tired today. Flashback to 2 years ago and I was not able to walk around the block, I was eating like I ate on Easter EVERY day, I was "feeling like shit" all of the time and here I am by my own hand having a day like that? I will say it here and I have already told my wife, NO MORE of that kind of day. This does not mean that I am dropping my "no counting on holidaze" rule, it just means that even though I am not counting that I need to stay reasonable with the intake on these occasions.
Bottom line, I deserve to feel like crap today mentally and physically and I accept my lumps. A lot of the time I get comments and emails saying that I inspire someone or am doing a helluva job on the weight loss front but this time it is I that dropped that ball that you see rolling into the street but this post is me refusing to chase it into the path of the truck that I see coming up the road. I figure if I can write a blog about how wonderful and great I am doing in this weight loss game that I can pop a not so good look at a day in the life of as well, so there it is.
This morning I weighed in at 355 pounds, I KNOW that there is water retention and bloating within that number but it is what it is and seeing a number above 350 on that scale again when I am so close to losing 200 total pounds sucked and I cannot say it any more simply than that. Today marks the beginning of the new beginning as I have had a not so good couple of weeks now and I HAVE to get it rolling in the right direction again, so its on...
Friday, April 10, 2009
This week I have been away from the blog for the most part, and its nothing more really than an extremely busy week. I will get right to the weigh in and I am afraid that its a gain this week but there have been some obstacles this last week.
From my previous entry's if you read regular like, you know that I had 4 days of terrible eating but that was straightened out on Wednesday and since then I have not gone over my 1700 calories. Monday I woke up and was 353 pounds which is Nine pounds more than I was on Friday but I knew that it was an impossibility for me to have gained that much "actual weight" in 3 days, I mean that's 31500 EXTRA calories and I know that was not the case so I chalked it up to sodium and no water and did not worry about it. All week I have been inching closer to my 344 pound weight, and by all week I mean since Wednesday when I actually started eating within my 1700 calories and getting enough to drink, so for two days now.
I have done zero exercise all week and that has nothing to do with me not eating well in the beginning of the week. Out of the blue and for no reason at all, meaning that I did not injure myself or do anything obvious that would give me a reason why, my hip/lower back on the left side started hurting last weekend so I decided that I would take it easy until the pain went away, it is a dull almost not there pain but when I get a good stride going it comes back harder.
Busy comes in because opening day for fishing is coming up on the 18th and I have been going through all of my fishing gear and making sure everything was in order. I bought a new light action reel and plan on putting some fresh fish on the table this year and for those that do not know, I am very obsessive about things when I am doing them (mayby this is why I was able to lose 190 pounds) and I have been in fishing mode all week, before you think that "ahhh he obsesses on one thing at a time hence the lack of attention to the weight loss" know that its not the case, I quite literally blew it for 4 days and have been back in full on weight loss mode since late Tuesday night and I don't believe that a person could eat bad for 3-4 days and not have a bad effect from it.
Green tea and water have been flowing and a balanced intake has been the case for the end of the week and the plan is to stay on that path. I do have a date at Wifys family's Easter dinner this Sunday but as with all holidaze I don't count my calories for holiday meals but I do eat reasonably and that won't change just because I had a bad start this week.
Oh I almost forgot to mention how much of a gain I had this morning, I weighed in at 347.6 (with socks and a tee shirt on which is not usually the case) so just over a 3 pound gain from last Friday but I do expect that it will be at least a pound lower tomorrow morning as I believe that I am still on the flushing sodium/rehydrating thing but that's to be seen and the 347 is what it is. I was up nine pounds just 4 days ago and I think that after today I will be properly hydrated once again. I am not changing my "start/current/goal" ticker on the side bar this week but if I am still at a gain by next Friday it will be changed so that right there is some motivation for me to stick with the program this week. I am going to try the bike tonight to see if it hurts my hip/back and if not I will do some low intensity rides in the coming days.
Over all its just been a very busy week for me hence the lack of attention to posting every day but this week should be filled with posts for your reading pleasure! just do not expect a post on the 18th! when 6am rolls around know that I will be standing on a body of water or a stream trying for some trout, I WILL be out fishing ALL day!
Don't forget that H2O (I know someone that should be taking his own advice on that one!) and keep on keepin on, Thanks for the support and hopefully I will have some fish photos to share next weekend!
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Since weighing in on Friday everything that I have chosen to do that is directly related to this weight loss program that I am on has been full of Fail. for the first time since starting down this path I am not in control, that old fatter me was driving or the past three days and I am pissed at myself for it. I do not like writing in this blog when it is not positive and my momma always said iffin ya got nothing nice to say, keep that mouth shut, but I deserve to out myself for the past four days of NOT doing what I NEED to be doing so here it is.
Saturday I counted my calories right up until dinner time when I decided to order a Chicken parm grinder from the local pizza house, and on the side I had 2 slices of bacon pizza off of a small pie. Later Saturday night we watched a movie and I had my big ol bowl of popcorn that I always have with a movie. Then there was Sunday, the only good thing about Sunday was that I literally did not stop moving all day, wify bought a space at a flea market and off we went @ 7AM and we stayed until 1:30PM up $160 minus the $15 space fee so that was good and all I ate at that point was a bowl of cereal and a peanut butter and jelly sammie that I brought along, then when we got home somehow we ended up basically landscaping almost my entire front and side yard but that meant that dinner was late and someone decided that KFC was on the menu this is where the bucket of fail entered. I was HUNGRY by the time that dinner walked through the door from all of the yard work and I did not hold back, this is where you should brace yourself. I ate 2 breasts, 1 Thigh, 2 biscuits w/gravy, 2 T Mac n cheese and 2 T of mashed potatoes and honestly I did not enjoy the meal at all, maybe the first piece tasted good but only for a split second, and that will conclude the weekend.
Monday came around and I had about 750 calories left for dinner and we ended up stopping at Subway, no worries right? wrong! I ordered a foot long Subway melt with provolone and mayo on it and shared a small bag of cool ranch doritos with my daughter so I did go over calories yesterday. Now for today, This morning started off well enough once again but around dinner time I ate extra rice as well as extra peas with my Gortons fish fillets which would have put me over my calories for the day but then I added a Fiber one bar because "I needed something sweet" and about 45 minutes after that (just before the biggest loser started) I had 2 dannon light and fit yogurts, well I'll tell ya something, I bet they are not so light nor fit when you eat two after your calorie limit is gone for the day!
I have since Saturday had exactly 1 gallon of green tea and maybe 2 gallons of water, that's four days! I usually have 1.5 gallons PER DAY! so to say that I am dehydrated is an understatement, let me put it this way as I am typing this the taste of chapstick is on my dried lips. I have not been getting enough sleep either, last night I was up until 3am researching some lakes and streams in the area to go fishing in on the 18th as opening day is upon us. Now let us talk about the exercise, I have done none since Friday besides the yard work and flea market and that my friends is not the way to lose weight.
Now that I have demonstrated how NOT to do it, I am back to my old self...er..my New old self! because I did not lose 190 pounds to just have a few days like that pull me into some sort of a spiral or even just a slight back up because that is not how I get down anymore. I am honestly pissed off at myself for the last four days worth of eating and not exercising not to mention the lack of drinking anything so tonight is the end of that.
I have no clue what the scale will say this week but I am heavier today than I was on Friday, whatever it is I have to accept it because I am the one making the choices.
Friday, April 03, 2009
Last night I told my wife that if I stayed even with my weight this week that I have changed everything about my eating habits and health in general, let alone if I showed a loss. Changing ones life by making better food choices is a concept that has escaped me for many years but I think I got it this time around, I believe that just a small bit of success can go a long way where pushing someone to keep on keepin on with something, even through the not so good weeks. This week I have struggled a bit because of hurting my back early in the week so I couldn't exercise the way that I have been in recent weeks but hey! Friday is here and that means that I weigh in. First time on the scale told me 344.2 pounds, this is good news! second time on 344.0 pounds, third time was 344.2 again so that's what we will call it, 344.2 pounds which is a 1.2 pound loss for the week! with no exercise? how can that be? I have read all over the internet that you must exercise for hours per day and starve yourself! all joking aside I am very happy with the loss this week. This weeks loss brings me to a total of 190 pounds lost since starting and only 10 pounds away from having lost 200 pounds, That feeling is surreal to me. Here is my scale photo for the day as well as some things that weigh the same as me and as much as I have lost.
Fred Flinstone eat your heart out! would ya look at that scale drop!
An adult Striped dolphin weighs up to 344 pounds or 156 Kilos which is what I weigh currently.
Jenn from season 5 The biggest loser weighed in at 190 pounds by the finale, That is what I have lost so far!
Last night I did go for a walk, in the rain, and it was very nice to get out alone and walk in the dark with the light rain falling on and around me, I should probably say almost alone though. The walk was 1.5 miles and it took me 26 minutes so slightly better than 3mph and I said almost alone because there were little frogs all over the road! not something I am use to having grown up in a city, seeing trash, or the random stray dog maybe but not little frogs everywhere! I snapped a pic of one last night with my flashlight and cell phone.
This guy was about 3 inches long from nose to butt.
Over all I am pleased with this weeks scale result, especially because I have done next to no exercise besides a couple of walks. I am a mere 10 pounds from having lost 200 pounds and am enjoying things that I was letting pass me by just slightly over a year ago, Lots of people think that it will take too long to lose the weight, or that the amount of weight to lose is just too much to lose by eating correctly and moving more, including me at one point. If I had kept that way of thinking I would surely have been on my way to 600 pounds and maybe even death, look at it this way, do nothing and guarantee that the weight will stay attached to our bodies or choose to do something about it and it will come off, even if its slow, isn't slow better than not at all? if I had chosen to keep on the road that I was walking...wait no I couldn't walk very far back then, so if I had chosen to stay on that road I do honestly believe that it would have been short lived. We cannot stop the clock, time WILL keep going whether we chose to do something about our condition or not and there is nothing that we can change about that fact BUT we can change how we spend our time. Will it be spent shoveling piles of processed high calorie high fat junk into our pie holes while sitting motionless watching Doctor Phil or Oprah? or will it be spent living life to the fullest, eating properly and exercising moderately? I have made my choice, have you?
Grab a big glass of H2O and thanks for following.
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