Thursday, February 19, 2009
Twinkle twinkle little star how I wonder what you are, I am The guy at the wheel after watching it plow uncontrolled through the corn field for far too long. Having control back is a good feeling and one that would not have been appreciated as it is if not for the stint away from the controls, and what I mean is that I am back. I look at photos of myself from a year ago and honestly cannot remember looking that way to my own eye, of course I can remember the struggles, of course I have the closet of 6XL shirts and size 56 jeans to remind me but I look at those old pictures and cannot remember seeing myself that big when looking into a mirror. I am back, the me that was there 10 years ago, the me that even though I was/am heavy I am not missing out on anything and then I think about how 265 pounds will feel, will I look back at pictures of me now and think "wow I was big!" or will I look back and think about how I was in control at this weight, to be found out I guess.
February has brought me an odd month where weight loss is concerned, this could be for many reasons, I have been sick, I upped my calories for a short time, ships were stationed in port for a bit and I had a weekend "binge" in the beginning but as of this morning I am still up from my lowest weight of 353 by a pound or two 19 days into this shortest of the months. I have in fact upped the exercise this week with some walking (five out of the last 7 days I have included walks into my day) and my fluid intake has been on par as well as keeping within my 1700 calorie limit besides last night when I did not weigh the Doritos that I had with my Subway for dinner, I know I know Doritos bad veggies good but they ARE my weakness. Over all this week is a good one but I do need to stay focused if I am to keep on moving in a downward direction with the weight loss.
The weather has shifted back to that of a winter tone dropping some ice and slush on us again last night, it should be warming back up by the end of the weekend but for now the bike will have to be my cardio outlet for a couple of days which brings me to a comment that was left by Joanne this morning where she mentioned a weekly challenge this week. I accept! and for every comment that I get on tomorrows weigh in post before midnight Friday I will ride 2 extra minutes on top of my normal 20 minute ride on my bike on Saturday, So once again all of you that read my blog have a chance to say that you were a part of making me thinner! the catch? there is always a catch, you have to drink a glass of H2O and say so in your comment for it to count towards the minute count for the challenge.
I also want to mention that I have been toying with the idea of posting videos up on my Friday weigh in posts (on my blogspot) for at least a few months and once I get my laptop situation taken care of I may do just that, I have a camera that can take digital video with sound and thought it would be a fun idea that could add a new layer to my blog. I am adding a poll on my blogspot to see if You guys want a video.
That concludes the latest episode of as the fat guy turns, sound off with a comment on tomorrows weigh in post and make a fat man sweat! a lovely visual I know but it is what it is and maybe I need the push. Perhaps a video is in the near future and a voice to go with the face of Zeusmeatball oh my! Thank you for all of the support that you leave and don't forget that glass of H2O that you deserve for reading this far into the post!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Perception is an amazing thing, sometimes two different people can see the exact same situation completely differently. At 534 pounds I was miserable, at that weight the whole world was looking at me every minute of every day even inside my own home, whether this was true or not is arguable but none the less. Now at 355 pounds that focus is no longer on me in my mind, I am part of the "normal crowd" albeit I am on the large side of that graph I do not feel like I have a beacon on my head along with a giant neon arrow pointing at me assuring that every person in the area is staring at me, confidence is at its height currently and there is really no way to drag me down. The other side of that coin is that at 534 pounds I was inside my house more than I am now so really who was "staring" at me? and at 355 pounds I AM still usually one of the bigger gentlemen in the crowd, the difference is where I am at inside my head. I know that I am eating healthy, I know that I exercise regularly, I know that just a year ago I was much heavier and that leaves a great amount of positivity floating around the air in my general vacinity.
Over this weekend My wife and I had dinner with her sister and father, he was telling a story about a seminar that he went to and how an episode of babylon 5 used the same concept in the story line, long story short Jack the ripper was given the chance to redeem himself if he was able to find the saviour of the universe, so he cruised around the universe for thousands of years asking people "who are you?" and apparently shocking them sometimes to death until they answered correctly, or something along those lines according to my father in law, I have never seen the show, I don't think my father in law was being shocked at his seminar but the question in his story caught my attention. Who are you? I am the man that has control of his own life again, But who are you? I am in charge again after being relieved of the reigns for far too long, But who ARE you? I AM Zeusmeatball! but WHO ARE you!! ok I missed the whole concept of what my father in law was talking about because of the children and if it was Mr. Ripper I may have been shocked to death but my point is that it made me think about who I am now compared to when I was extremely over weight.
True enough I am the same person but I do not feel like the same person, I am Me again, I have the option to make the decisions again based not on the fact that I could not walk for the 20 minutes that it would take to make that walk to the broken bridge so I have to make up an excuse as to why I did not want to go, but based instead on the fact that I WANT to go see the broken bridge so I go, I have my life back.
Onto some of how my week has been going, I have eaten no more than 1700 calories per day for the past few days and have walked a lot this week, my wife has been coming with me on the walks and I have to admit that I enjoy the company. We walked 1.8 miles last night in 30 minutes which brings us to about 3.4 mph which isn't too bad for a walk. The scale is starting to come down again and I am approaching my lowest weight again as of this mornings jump on the scale, ships have left port and hopefully the shipping lanes stay open from here on out. If I can get back to 353 pounds for this Friday I will be happy with that as I have been hovering a few pounds higher than that for the past week and frankly I need to see it below 353! We are expecting snow this afternoon so back to the bike for movement today which is ok because I haven't ridden it for a week because the weather has been cooperating and walks have been on the plate.
Over all it has been a good week where movement is concerned, the ships have sailed and the weight seems to be moving again, I am looking forward to Friday for weigh in and have a feeling that I will meet the 353 mark again if not go below that weight. Thanks for following along and its time for that glass of H2O so get on up and grab some.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
What does a fella do when everything is being done right and the results are less than stellar? How does one stay focused in the face of back tracking progress? When every duck is in that row standing at attention and yet things just aren't going in the direction that they should, what does the fat man do? He stays determined, and knows that the discipline that is being expressed will be what wins in the end, That is what is needed and is what will be given. With all of that said let me splain what I mean, Friday I weighed in at a higher amount than the previous week but things were not optimal as far as intake goes, I was toying with upping the calorie range and I was sick with a chest cold. Friday I was feeling well enough to start walking and I have walked 3 of the last 4 days anywhere from 1.6 miles to the longest walk which was 2.5 miles and found the walks to be helpful in how I felt, my calories have been with the exception of Valentines day on par and under 1700 per day, Valentines day I indulged in 2 small cup cakes that the kiddos made, I have been drinking my gallon per day green tea and then another half to three quarters of a gallon of water on top of that. Something is amiss with the ships leaving port in regular intervals and I cannot figure out why, here are my reasons for being confused with this. I drink at the least 1 & 1/4 gallons of green tea/water per day leaning more towards 1 & 3/4 gallons of fluid, in the last week I have eaten a lot of veggies and fruit, an average of 2 apples, an orange, a cup of veggies at dinner (green beans, corn or peas) and I have been eating raw cauliflower by the head, multigrain breads and cereals every day along with taking benifiber twice per day so I know that hydration and or fiber is not an issue, yet hitting the little boys room is not happening on a regular basis, if anyone has any suggestions I am ALL ears at this point.
With walking in mind I have tracked a 2.9 mile route with Gmaps which will be the track that I start walking soon, it may be a challenging route because of the hills on half of the walk, and I mean some very steep hilly parts but the way I see it is that the hills will make it more of a workout and thats not a bad thing when you have about 80-90 pounds to lose. I have come up with a workout schedule for myself which will be, walking and riding the bike on alternating days building up to walking every day while riding every other day in preperation for me starting the C25K program. Because of my weight I want to ease into the C25K thing instead of hitting it hard and fast and risking hurting myself.
Over all things are right where they should be besides the fact that I seem to be stopped up and not losing weight currently which I guess means that everything is not where it should be! My wife seems to think that its because I am/was sick this past week and then everything will be back to normal soon enough which will I will have to wait to see I figure. I still have not replaced my laptop so image-less my posts shall remain for a short time more until I can get a new one, for now I am using a borrowed computer with bare bones programs on it. Until tommorow thats the word on the street, get on up and grab that glass of H2O, Your body will thank you for it, and of course thanks for following along.
Friday, February 13, 2009
See that wagon over yonder? yep I fell off of it last night. between being sick, and some other things going on it was easier to grab a pizza for dinner yesterday which wouldn't have been all too bad but it didn't stop there. This blog is about staying honest for me so thats how it will go down, I will just list the foods, this is not for the faint of heart! My day started out well enough and by dinner time I had eaten a total of 855 calories and with the fact that I was going to go back to 1700 yesterday I was left with 845 for the remainder of the evening. The bottom line is that I let stress (unrelated to weight loss) get to me and said screw it, lets order a pizza, and that we did. 20 minutes later a bacon pizza was in my kitchen and I ate 5 slices, that was NOT a typo, 5 slices! granted they were small slices and maybe 2 made up a single slice of a New York style pie but that is no excuse! admittingly not my finest moment, but like I said this blog is about putting it out there for me. As the evening progressed I found myself wandering around the kitchen and grabbed a cereal bar, then another so now on top of the pizza there are two cereal bars tossed down my gullet. Hey Mister Meatball thats not all that terrible you did have 845 calories and we are all human right? wrong! it was honey comb time, yep 2 bowls of honey combs! (3 cups worth) see how the snow ball happens? ah ha but we are not done yet, I haven't told you about the M&M's or the Valentines chocolate that finished the buffet off! yes I had a handful of M&M's and a single chocolate out of a Russel stovers Valentine heart. The bottom line is that ball thats rolling across the playground, yep it was me that dropped it, I will not beat myself up over this but, it is my friends a binge. Stress eating, emotional eating, or maybe just a fat guy on the loose whatever you call it this is NOT how I need to be eating to maintain a healthy life.
Weigh in reflected the smorgasbord as well, I am up 3 pounds, the scale told me to get the hell off this morning and I deserved the stern voice, thats right 356 flashed across the screen and since that buffet happoened pretty much before bed I am betting at least part of it is bloated because of that so I will weigh myself again tomorrow morning to get a closer estimate. That 356 may as well have been 556 this morning for the way I feel about it, I can accept that it is what it is but I am disappointed in myself for the late feast yesterday and almost feel like I deserve this gain for my lack of discipline.
I am not beating myself up over this for the most part but as I mentioned this blog was started as a way for me to stay honest by putting my progress, or in this case lack there of out in the open, I know why it happened and that is the important part but it is nothing that HAD to happen, I let things out of my control grab the wheel for a short stint and fat Tony saw and snatched at the chance.
Does any of this mean that I am going to start in on a regimen of pizza and cheeseburgers? nope, its just a bump in the road on a long trip so no worries and I hopped back on that wagon this morning and know what I did so its all good. In fact because of this I feel as if I owe it to myself to up the movement this week (as long as this chest thing keeps slowing down) and am planning on walking plus biking all week every day as soon as my chest agrees to the terms, I weighed 356 pounds and thats all it is, this is not the first time I have seen a gain on this trip to the half and it has after all been a rough week between being sick, upping my calories for a little experiment and that ugly thing called stress popping in for a visit it was bound to happen (sure sure fat man tell yourself it wasn't the pizza!) either way its just another day in the life of Mister Meatball so hop on up and grab yourself that big ol glass of H2O and know that I am doubling up on my fluids today in protest of this gain, so until next time!
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