Friday, February 27, 2009
Weigh in has come again like every week but this time around its a little different, This week I did not stay on plan, this week I did not eat like I should have yesterday in particular and the scale shows that to me this morning. I have said it before and I will reiterate again that this blog is for accountability so honesty is what you will get when I say that it is my fault that there is no loss this week. The scale told me that I was not a good boy when I stepped on this morning and the display read 357.4 which is more than 5 pounds higher than last Friday. I have not exercised a single day this week past Saturday and ate enough yesterday to cover 3 days worth of calories, now that's just a estimate but if I were a betting man that would be my guess and the fact that in the last 2 days I have only drank about 1/2 gallon of fluid probably doesn't help either. Three nights this week I have had 5 or less hours of sleep per night as well, when all of these things are put together "you get what we had here last week".
Negativity breeds more of the same and Momma always said that if I didn't have anything nice to say than I should keep my mouth shut and that could explain why I haven't posted much this week. I know that its been a not so good week and I feel about the same way. In an older post I mentioned "Talking like a fat person" and I guess I have been doing that this week just a bit because I have been under some stress which is not weight loss related "Oh hey You have been under stress? its ok that you slipped then" No its not! Life happens, stress is part of that from time to time and I have not stayed focused under this stress. Turning to food because of stress is likely why most of us gain weight in the first place, that or getting married! yes that puts weight on as well for all of you single people reading this. Either way it should not be a reason to eat, it should not mean that game is off until the stresser exits stage left.
I am tired of juggling the same five pounds already and it is time to stop the madness and get below 350 pounds. I have been sick for more than a week and that had a hand but again its no excuse but I am feeling better so I am back on from this point on, not because I want to be but because I have to be. "Ain't ya scared? Ain't ya scared of dyin'?" Thats what started this all isn't it? 14 months ago I WAS scared of "dyin'" and just because I am comfortable in my own skin again doesn't mean that I can lose focus, it does not mean that the fat burning party is over and because I can slide into a booth now certainly does not mean its time to scream success, because I have a long way to go before I reach that finish line.
Today starts me back into my old ways, well my new old ways because my old old ways would mean that I keep eating, or something. I am tired of moving this dirt in and out of "Boss Kean's ditch" where this five pounds is concerned so its done today, I am back on track stress or no stress, sick or no sick because I have to. Thank you for following along and don't forget to drink that H2O which sounds hypocritical coming from the guy that drank a total of a half gallon of fluid in 2 days! but know that while I wrote this I consumed slightly less than a half gallon of green tea.
Keep on keepin on and all that.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
We're back in business, Saturday I picked up a new laptop so I am nice and comfy having my own computer back with my own progs on them. Lets talk about the challenge that I posted up for a minute, Saturday I woke up and decided that I would ride the bike first thing and it looks like I owed for 22 comments worth of minutes so 44 minutes it was, add that to my normal 20 and its 64 minutes. I decided to break it into 2 sections to save my arse some pain so it was a 30 minute ride then some stretches for about 15 minutes and then back for the remaining minutes, 35 minutes later (I did an extra minute for kicks) I was done and we headed out for the day to get some shopping done, Thank you all that left me a comment!
Let us talk about some weight loss/health stuff, when last we saw Mister Meatball the ships were in port and not moving but every 3 days and that was not wearing well on me and I was praying that the blockage would end sooner than later and on Saturday I got my wish. My daughter had a stomach bug (its just slowing down now) last week and I got it, what that translates into is that someone blew the dam and there is now an express route through my body for everything that goes in, so if it ain't one thing. That pass through the straights is still open and now I find myself praying for a blockage! go figure.
A random shot of last nights dinner, Turkey burgers and sweet potato fries, hows that look?
Intake wise this past weekend was not good at all, let me splain. Friday was the beginning of this stomach deal that I have going on atm so I just ate what I could because I figured something was better than nothing and I ended up not counting calories at all, I ate what I normally eat on any given day I just did not log anything so there is a chance that I went over. Saturday we were out all day so I did not log anything again but I am fairly sure that I did not go over on calories either, it was a Subway for dinner kind of day and 1 gallon of green tea was consumed while we ran around. Sunday, ahhh Sunday, a week or two ago I was suppose to meet up with some old friends from high school and it didn't happen because of me being sick so we went out to dinner Sunday and it was cool getting together but the food was terrible for that day, only in calories because the steak I had at dinner was absolutely sinful. Breakfast on Saturday started out pretty normal with me having a bowl of Honey combs cereal (2 cups) with 1 cup of 1% milk, gold star for me. Then lunch was a foot long subway which is still not so bad besides the fact that I did not get my normal turkey with no cheese and a pound of veggies, instead I got a Subway melt which is Turkey, Ham and bacon with provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato and mayo, YES real mayo! so that was naughty, but wait until you hear about dinner!
Onto dinner (yes it gets its own paragraph!) ahhh dinner, For dinner we went to a steak house and let me tell you about the appetizers first, actually lets start at the bread! on the table was warm cinnamon flavored rolls with honey/garlic butter on the side so of course I had to have one and man was it good. For an appetizer we ordered a sample platter and an order of jalapeno poppers to share between the four of us and I had my share of the poppers dipped in a horse radish sauce as well as a potato skin from the sampler, so off to a good start eh? for my drink I ordered a cherry coke (which I had 2 of before the night was done) and the main course was a 16 oz NY strip cooked perfectly rare, a baked potato with sour cream and butter on the side and a cup of chili which was all perfectly prepared. Dessert time came around and everyone was sort of looking at one another like "I don't know, do you want some? maybe I'll have, um maybe...." so I ended it by stating "I will have a piece of that cheese cake and bring out 2 spoons" which prompted my friend from high school to do the same. So as you can see there was really no holding back for that meal whatsoever, I did not finish my meal I want to mention, I brought home 2/3 of the potato and maybe 4-5 oz of the steak which I ate yesterday.
Monday I did not record my calories but I do believe I was pretty close to my 1700 limit if not over by 100-200 and that will conclude the no recording of the food. I can blame the fact that I was without my computer which holds my excel sheet that I made but I won't do that, there is this stuff called paper and these things called pens that I could have used so I take the blame for my slacking off on the intake tracking. I have my new laptop set up now and have Office installed so I have my excel sheet back and the tracking begins again today.
I want to give a mention to the video poll on the sidebar again as it appears that a video will need to be uploaded soon judging by the response, I thank all who have voted so far and if you haven't please do so! Thank you for following along with my weight loss journey and you know the drill, grab that H2O and get to drinking!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Twinkle twinkle little star how I wonder what you are, I am The guy at the wheel after watching it plow uncontrolled through the corn field for far too long. Having control back is a good feeling and one that would not have been appreciated as it is if not for the stint away from the controls, and what I mean is that I am back. I look at photos of myself from a year ago and honestly cannot remember looking that way to my own eye, of course I can remember the struggles, of course I have the closet of 6XL shirts and size 56 jeans to remind me but I look at those old pictures and cannot remember seeing myself that big when looking into a mirror. I am back, the me that was there 10 years ago, the me that even though I was/am heavy I am not missing out on anything and then I think about how 265 pounds will feel, will I look back at pictures of me now and think "wow I was big!" or will I look back and think about how I was in control at this weight, to be found out I guess.
February has brought me an odd month where weight loss is concerned, this could be for many reasons, I have been sick, I upped my calories for a short time, ships were stationed in port for a bit and I had a weekend "binge" in the beginning but as of this morning I am still up from my lowest weight of 353 by a pound or two 19 days into this shortest of the months. I have in fact upped the exercise this week with some walking (five out of the last 7 days I have included walks into my day) and my fluid intake has been on par as well as keeping within my 1700 calorie limit besides last night when I did not weigh the Doritos that I had with my Subway for dinner, I know I know Doritos bad veggies good but they ARE my weakness. Over all this week is a good one but I do need to stay focused if I am to keep on moving in a downward direction with the weight loss.
The weather has shifted back to that of a winter tone dropping some ice and slush on us again last night, it should be warming back up by the end of the weekend but for now the bike will have to be my cardio outlet for a couple of days which brings me to a comment that was left by Joanne this morning where she mentioned a weekly challenge this week. I accept! and for every comment that I get on tomorrows weigh in post before midnight Friday I will ride 2 extra minutes on top of my normal 20 minute ride on my bike on Saturday, So once again all of you that read my blog have a chance to say that you were a part of making me thinner! the catch? there is always a catch, you have to drink a glass of H2O and say so in your comment for it to count towards the minute count for the challenge.
I also want to mention that I have been toying with the idea of posting videos up on my Friday weigh in posts (on my blogspot) for at least a few months and once I get my laptop situation taken care of I may do just that, I have a camera that can take digital video with sound and thought it would be a fun idea that could add a new layer to my blog. I am adding a poll on my blogspot to see if You guys want a video.
That concludes the latest episode of as the fat guy turns, sound off with a comment on tomorrows weigh in post and make a fat man sweat! a lovely visual I know but it is what it is and maybe I need the push. Perhaps a video is in the near future and a voice to go with the face of Zeusmeatball oh my! Thank you for all of the support that you leave and don't forget that glass of H2O that you deserve for reading this far into the post!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Perception is an amazing thing, sometimes two different people can see the exact same situation completely differently. At 534 pounds I was miserable, at that weight the whole world was looking at me every minute of every day even inside my own home, whether this was true or not is arguable but none the less. Now at 355 pounds that focus is no longer on me in my mind, I am part of the "normal crowd" albeit I am on the large side of that graph I do not feel like I have a beacon on my head along with a giant neon arrow pointing at me assuring that every person in the area is staring at me, confidence is at its height currently and there is really no way to drag me down. The other side of that coin is that at 534 pounds I was inside my house more than I am now so really who was "staring" at me? and at 355 pounds I AM still usually one of the bigger gentlemen in the crowd, the difference is where I am at inside my head. I know that I am eating healthy, I know that I exercise regularly, I know that just a year ago I was much heavier and that leaves a great amount of positivity floating around the air in my general vacinity.
Over this weekend My wife and I had dinner with her sister and father, he was telling a story about a seminar that he went to and how an episode of babylon 5 used the same concept in the story line, long story short Jack the ripper was given the chance to redeem himself if he was able to find the saviour of the universe, so he cruised around the universe for thousands of years asking people "who are you?" and apparently shocking them sometimes to death until they answered correctly, or something along those lines according to my father in law, I have never seen the show, I don't think my father in law was being shocked at his seminar but the question in his story caught my attention. Who are you? I am the man that has control of his own life again, But who are you? I am in charge again after being relieved of the reigns for far too long, But who ARE you? I AM Zeusmeatball! but WHO ARE you!! ok I missed the whole concept of what my father in law was talking about because of the children and if it was Mr. Ripper I may have been shocked to death but my point is that it made me think about who I am now compared to when I was extremely over weight.
True enough I am the same person but I do not feel like the same person, I am Me again, I have the option to make the decisions again based not on the fact that I could not walk for the 20 minutes that it would take to make that walk to the broken bridge so I have to make up an excuse as to why I did not want to go, but based instead on the fact that I WANT to go see the broken bridge so I go, I have my life back.
Onto some of how my week has been going, I have eaten no more than 1700 calories per day for the past few days and have walked a lot this week, my wife has been coming with me on the walks and I have to admit that I enjoy the company. We walked 1.8 miles last night in 30 minutes which brings us to about 3.4 mph which isn't too bad for a walk. The scale is starting to come down again and I am approaching my lowest weight again as of this mornings jump on the scale, ships have left port and hopefully the shipping lanes stay open from here on out. If I can get back to 353 pounds for this Friday I will be happy with that as I have been hovering a few pounds higher than that for the past week and frankly I need to see it below 353! We are expecting snow this afternoon so back to the bike for movement today which is ok because I haven't ridden it for a week because the weather has been cooperating and walks have been on the plate.
Over all it has been a good week where movement is concerned, the ships have sailed and the weight seems to be moving again, I am looking forward to Friday for weigh in and have a feeling that I will meet the 353 mark again if not go below that weight. Thanks for following along and its time for that glass of H2O so get on up and grab some.
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