Thursday, August 21, 2008
Another week is coming to a close and I have not exercised this week at all because of this cold that I am getting over, I have had a very hectic week and have not been how do I say "on the ball" with this whole weight loss thing, I am not saying that I have fell off of the wagon or anything its just not been the best of weeks for me all around and its translating into bad meal choices and off schedule timing on when said meals are eaten. this week I have had days where the calories were as low as 1200 and then yesterday I went over by 40 coming in at 1740 total calories and my dinner was eaten at 9:30 pm last night, I have to try and concentrate on getting my meals back on track and I may try a short ride on the bike this afternoon to see how my lungs handle it.
Physically I feel extremely strong lately, I cannot explain it other than saying I feel like I can do anything, I walk and feel the urge to run to where ever it is that I am going, a few nights ago I jumped up the stairs in my house one at a time just because, I carry my daughter on my shoulder EVERYWHERE we go and not only because she asks me but because I treat it as burning more calories, after all carrying 35 pounds up on my shoulders while I walk for 40 minutes has to count for something right? and then jst yesterday I was walking through a parking lot and a car started backing up towards me and my first thought was to step up on the bumper and up and over the trunk, now whether that would have worked or not if the driver had not seen me is left unknown but the fact is that I know that I could have if need be and just 8 months ago it was not a possibility blows my mind. so this pleases me to say the least, I feel like I have my old self back and its only getting better by the day. here is my menu from Wednesday.
1 T peanut butter 95
1 T jelly 50
2 slices whole wheat bread 140
1 zone bar 200
chicken strips/french fries (friendly's) 750
1 fudge pop 70
4 slices light Italian bread 160
2oz low fat Mozz cheese 160
1 serving turkey pepperoni 70
light parm cheese 10
pizza sauce 30
Grand total of 1740 calories for the day and that lunch at Friendly's probably was not the best choice in the world as far as nutrition and health go but it hit the spot in a hectic day an is not really what caused me to go over calories (damn fudge pop) so I am cool with the choice to have it. over all I am still on track and can't wait to start working out again and as I stated earlier I may try to ride the bike today and I have tentative plan to go to the park later today so a hike may be the result of that little outing, we shall see. Tomorrow is another weigh in and I am looking forward to see what kind of loss I pull off this week, I know there is a loss I just don't know where it will settle to by the morning. Thank you for reading and be sure to tune in tomorrow same bat time same bat channel for the results to this weeks weigh in.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I sometimes think about the struggles we as heavy people go through and the fact that in society heavy people are generally looked down on because of their size and the stigma that goes with that, and what I mean is that if a 500 pound man is walking through a mall people make comments about that man and do it so blatantly as to say it out loud and within earshot of said person and thats ok with most people because it is the fat guys fault that he is fat, isn't it? even if it is their fault who is the other anonymous person to say so in a rude public manner? I will admit to being on the end of some of those comments here and there through life and some of the time they are let go, mostly when its a kid or something because thats not exactly malicious behavior as much as its just something different through child's eyes but when its an adult that says it? or a teenage kid? I have been known to turn towards them and ask them to repeat it to my face and ya know what, I have never had someone take me up on the offer, and yet this behavior is accepted by most people and no one blinks an eye to actions like that.
I am now at a size where I just look like a huge guy more than a huge fat guy and that is what I can relate to, I have always been a big guy and now that I am at a closer to normal weight, even though 394 lbs is not a "normal size" and more like Gorilla sized, it is closer and my being six foot five helps with that as well. I have "got my cockiness back" says my wife, she has been joking with me lately calling me "vain" and what not and I just think to myself "isn't that part of the point?" BUT in my defense I am not vain, just got my juju back I think. I look in a mirror now and see me looking back and when I look at old photos of me when I was 500 plus pounds I honestly think "wow who is that guy" and I can remember looking in mirrors and thinking well if I cut my beard this way I will look less fat, stretching my face in odd directions to make my face look thinner in essence convincing myself that it was just a bit of weight and things along those lines, and now I look in the mirror and just smile.
where is he going with this? I don't even know where I am going with this post, lately when I start typing out a post I just let my mind wander and 40 minutes later between putting fires out with the kiddos and making lunch or breakfast a post is here I click publish and poof another entry. what have we learned today kids? fat people are just regular people just like you who are not over weight, sometimes when you point and laugh the Gorilla turns around and charges the cage and scares the excrement out of you, and I am not vain, confident? sure, vain? nah. Thanks for reading along and I wish you success along your weight loss journey.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Sunday morning and I am finally feeling a bit better than I have been, actually yesterday I felt pretty good too, good enough that we went out and did some shopping for the wedding that I have to go to next weekend and I sort of hit a milestone that I had not expected at all and honestly haven't thought about. As we were walking around wify said "lets check out the mens section, who knows they may have something for ya" and me being me and not being able to shop in a "regular store" since I was about oh I don't know 18? I thought sure we can look but nothing will fit and off we went to the mens section where I ended up buying a button up shirt! this may not seem like something of a big deal to someone that can shop in normal stores but I cannot remember the last time that I walked into a store and bought anything clothing related right off of the shelf, it has either been in a "big and tall" shop or ordered out of a catalog so this is kind of a big deal to me. I am right on the size line with my pants as well, I am comfortably in a size 46 waist and most stores stop at 44 waist so I am close to being able to buy some new jeans at a "regular store" as well. the store we were in had jeans in my size but it was just not the style that I wear so I passed on the jeans for now but I bought something in a regular store! so I am a little bit excited about that.
Ok ok enough about the shirt, my intake from Saturday was very odd because we ended up out and not really in a position to get food when we should have made time and I ended up eating only 1275 calories with 85 of them coming in around mid night in the form of an orange, I don't feel hungry or anything today and I partially blame being under the weather for not having an appetite as well as the wrong place at the wrong time and not being able to get a meal in when I should have. Intake is pretty good otherwise and I am still happy with my losses and rate of loss and all of that and believe that raising my calories a bit has helped kick my metabolism into gear again.
I was thinking about how I stay driven and motivated during this entire time where I have been losing the weight and getting healthy and it dawned on me that I really don't know how I am staying driven, I don't have a go to plan or a panic switch that I hit when the going gets tough, I just keep doing what I am doing no matter the circumstances and it seems to be what has worked up until this point. I do think that having my lovely wife by my side with the same health goals in mind helps a lot, she is there to remind me when I am about to make a mistake and grab that bag of beef jerky off the rack at the store or to remind me that I wanted to ride the bike a second time on a certain day so having her there as support definitely helps but I think what keeps me on track the most is the fact that I know what I have to do and there I just about nothing that I can think of that is more important than that to me right now because if I do not correct it I might not be here to see the rest of what is important for very long, that and the fact that I believe once you can slip into a state of mind where knowing that you don't NEED the pizza or knowing that you do not NEED to eat those extra fries with dinner it becomes easier and easier by the day, and the exercise becomes an addiction, at least it has for me in the past couple months, I have been not feeling well for the past few days and I am going nuts because I want to ride the bike or go for a walk..something! anything! just sitting here is not cool! with all of that said I think it comes down to being in that State of mind and knowing no matter what, you have to stay on track because it is what must be done and failure is NOT an option, at least thats how I look at it. so maybe I stay driven because I know that I made a decision to lose the weight and I am the type of person that when I make a decision to do something I feel that I need to have the follow through to complete the task, or maybe I reflect back to the first day in my adult life that I actually felt fear when I read that a WLS came with the chance of death and until that point had came to the conclusion that it was my only option to lose weight, I don't know for sure. what I do know for sure is that I have to lose this weight, I have to be around for my wife and kiddos and I have to be around to see all of the things to come in this life and at 534 pounds I feared it wasn't going to last much longer, here I sit at 394 pounds typing out an entry on a blog that I started almost out of desperation and maybe just to put it out there even if only to strangers that I was in fact more than one quarter of a ton in weight and hoped to be embarrassed into submission, I don't know, all I knew is that something had to be done and here I am doing it. does that explain how I stay driven? again I don't know but its what came out when I asked myself that question so I guess maybe it is. There is no easy way to do this, there is no miracle pill and wishing won't make it happen either. the bottom line is that a lot of hard work and a lot of discipline will need to be found and put to use if success is to be found and staying driven is all a part of that, am I driven? Yes I am.
Friday, August 15, 2008
This Ducati S2R 1000 weighs in at 394 pounds. and because spark only allows one upload on a blog you can check out my blogpot @ zeusmeatball.blogspot.com/2008/08/we
html to see what weighs as much as I have lost...er sorta this week :)
Upon waking this morning I feel worse than I did yesterday, I will say that first. But onto business, I hopped on the scale and it said 394.4 pounds twice so I will call it 394 and a loss of 2 pounds this week and at that I am a bit surprised I must admit. I have done no exercise as I said in my last post and upped my calorie to 1700 this week and somehow pulled off a 2 pound drop all while being sick for the past 5 days so I am happy about that. one thing I am going to for a day or two to attempt to get better faster is eat a few oranges and not count them in my 1700 calories if I can help it, maybe some orange juice as well as its always seemed to help me get better faster in the past and being sick isn't fun and worth the extra intake.
My intake came in at 1550 calories yesterday mostly because I wasn't feeling well and didn't feel like eating and the fact that we had a later than usual dinner so I called it a day and did not make up the last 150 calories, no worries. and with that I give you yesterdays menu.
2 cups shredded wheat 380
1 cup 1% milk 110
3 slices light rye bread 120
4oz deli turkey breast 110
1 T Miracle whip 35
dill pickle 10
1 hebrew national hot dog 45
1 slice light rye 40
8oz ground turkey 320
2 80 cal rolls 160
6oz sweet potato fries 150
Grand total of 1550 calories and a 2 pound loss this week, I'll take it, and other than being sick I guess its not been too bad a week where my weight loss is concerned but I am missing the exercise part of the equation which is not something you would have heard me mutter just seven months ago but at the same time maybe my body needed a rest and is why I am sick currently, who knows? not me, but as soon as this congestion and sore throat is gone I will be back outside hiking and riding my bike in the evenings again. This weeks 2 pound loss is great and I am constantly chipping away at the extra weight, I am looking forward to lighter days.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
The title says it all, I am sick as a dog, sore throat, cough, stuffy head and feeling tired as anything and I have just been sitting around trying to feel better hence the lack of posts in the past few days. I have done zero exercise since the walk at my MIL house mentioned in my last post but I decided to keep the calories at 1700 per day anyways just because I honestly believe that I need the extra intake. things intake related are on track I did have one day where I went over by 32 calories because a beer was needed and I am not even worrying about going over by 32 on one day, I have stayed off of the scale so I am not sure how it will look in the morning, I am hoping for a loss of course but with the week that I had I am not expecting anything and I know that the smaller guy inside me will tear his way out because it is already happening, even as I type this.
I have been watching as much of the Olympics as I can and told my wife that I want to start swimming, swimming being what is keeping me interested in watching right now. My wife was a competitive swimmer from age 6 to 18 and it has always impressed me with the way she swims, when wify is in the water is when she looks the strongest to me and well if I am being honest its hot, so I think part of my interest stems from that as well, in fact I will admit to having a bit of a lets call it a crush on one of the swimmers this year Natalie Coughlin and someone brought it to my attention that there is a resemblance between my wife and her and I wonder if thats where it comes from, but enough about that. I think a lot of people watch something like the Olympics and get motivated and its doing just that to me because I know that I will start swimming soon enough, one because its a great way to get Cardio into a day, two I am not really what you would call a strong swimmer, I can swim just not as good as I would like and three it is something that wify could/would get into more if it were to happen. so to sum that up I am enjoying watching the Olympics this year and I am actually getting motivation from it so though I am sick I am enjoying myself.
I have to admit that I have a bit of cabin fever because of being sick and I am just pining away to go out on a hike or a long walk or something and its been beautiful here in New England the past few days so its doubly frustrating to be under the weather. I mentioned that I was going to start deficit tracking this week but with the not being able to workout I was not able to start it but as soon as this cold or whatever this is passes I will jump right in there. did I mention that I am going nuts for a hike or something? oh yeah I did...
I plan on weighing in tomorrow morning and getting a weigh in post up fairly early so look for that and I hope to have a loss or at least stay the same as last week but I would not be surprised at a small gain just because I upped the calories and the exercise was non existent this week, we shall see, Thanks for reading along while I drop a whole person from my body.
Get An Email Alert Each Time BOTZZZ Posts