Wednesday, January 02, 2013
Today marks the fifth year to the day since I started writing this blog, when I began this journey I was a 534 pound man that had not many options as far as what he could do physically and things felt pretty hopeless when weight loss was the subject matter. I had worked my way down to a low weight of 305 pounds "new low its weigh in day" zeusmeatball.blogspot.com/2010/05/ne
w-lowits-weigh-in-day.html in May of 2010 and then leveled off at around 320 pounds and stayed there for a bit while I honed my bicycle riding skills while falling in love with cycling once again. The yoyo game which many of us call weight loss/dieting began sneaking into my way of life as I got more comfortable, this is something that I noticed so I took measures to counteract it. I ate mostly whole foods, stuck to my low calorie high nutrition eating plan which was working but I came up to roughly 330 pounds as cycling became a huge part of my life everything was awesome in my world as far as health went.
I have mentioned in this blog in the past that there are some stress points in my day to day that I cannot do anything about and will not talk about in this blog but have worked through them the best that I could, most of the time I am able to keep my Diet/Health/Workouts out of the way but many times its a turning point for me and I found myself "stress eating" because of it. Yes yes, get over it fat boy, figure it out and work around it... if only it were that easy. June 2011 I was doing awesome again, that unstoppable kind of awesome, my weight had stablized around 330 pounds again and I was on a warpath to get under that mythical line in the sand that I had drawn so long ago..299 pounds. An extremely stressful day became so much worse when I learned that I had lost my mother, I was in California less than 24 hours later to be with family and handle all that comes with that and held my own with staying mostly strict while there.
Slowly but surely I put weight back on, the loss of my Mom impacted me as it would anyone but what it meant for me was weight was coming back on and I did not know how to get back into a mindset that would allow me to be successful with my health program. The day that I learned about my mom I weighed 339 pounds and had written this post "you fat f**k" earlier in that day and was on a roll with getting my $hit back together as far as my health went. Today as I write this I am unsure what I weigh because my scale in the house is broken and I haven't cared to replace it yet but I am fairly certain that I have crossed out of the 300's even if only by a couple pounds. The fact that I allowed myself to slip back so far after beating the hell out of myself and getting down as far as 305 pounds pisses me off to no end.
For the past few weeks I have been getting myself back into the better eating thing once again and while I feel better as I said I need to get a new scale before I know an exact weight to see just how far I allowed myself to slide backwards. I cannot and will not blame anything or anyone but myself for the backslide and have to remember that I am human and will screw up, we all do but making my way back down the path and reaching a healthy weight that lets me live how I want to live must be a priority for me. As hectic as my life has become I am going to try to write here as often as I possibly can as I believe this blog was a major part of my previous success, having a place to draw on my own words and feelings as things change is an awesome tool for anyone.
I am planning on posting my weight as soon as I have it and going back to my oldschool style of posting a weight with objects that weigh what I have lost each week etc, any of my old readers will understand this but the visuals are amazing motivators!
Five years ago I decided to change my life for the better and I have by leaps and bounds, this is just another chapter in that story and I hope that you will follow along and cheer me on or tell me to buck up and get a workout in, either way here we go...
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Sliding back into a groove is how the last few days have gone, making good decisions where whats going into my mouth is concerned has not been the easiest thing in the world and I am feeling hungry starting about 4pm daily. My body wants more and it wants it right now dammit! but I know that walking through this initial burst of rebellion that will eventually subside needs to be done, then things can get back to normal.
Sticking mainly with whole foods as I was doing before I fell off of the wagon is my plan, I have also started counting calories again while my drinking has remained the same since 2008, 1 gallon of green tea and close to if not more than another gallon of H2O daily so no change was needed there besides stopping with the coffee in the morning.
Over all this "restart" is going as I would hope, the scale is cooperating, getting in some movement is happening and all while I nurse a shoulder injury. Posting in the blog again is helping I think as it gives me a place to "put it out there" how things are going so I will continue to post as often as I can.
Today the post will have to be short, sweet and to the point though as I have my daughter that just woke up so my attention is needed elsewhere, Thank you for the support as of late, the emails are great and the comments help more than you would think.
Until next time
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Monday, September 24, 2012
Restarting is not as easy as one would have thought, I mean, I've done this before right? Just jump back into the pool and swim away no? No... My good habits have slipped away somewhat so getting back into a groove is tougher that I want it to be but hey! If I don't put on my big boy pants.. And unfortunately I mean that literally and figuratively this time around its not going to get done on its own, so away we go. I tried that wish into one hand and $hit into the other thing in an attempt to get some results but I just ended up with a stinky hand... so I suppose I will have to bust a$$ again to get where I need to be.
When I was 534 pounds I started off slow because I had to, there were no options other than slow and thatís what I did and eventually I dropped a total of 229 pounds at my greatest number. I am in the mindset of a guy that is 300 pounds and can ride 30 miles on his mountain bike in a couple of hours with no side effects besides a big $hit eatin' grin stuck to my face for the rest of the day when in reality I have no idea what my limits are currently as I have not ridden my bike since late July. I can tell you that I am not in the shape that I was when 534 was what I was carrying around but I don't think I am close to what I was June of 2011 either and finding a middle ground is proving to be a tad more difficult that I would have expected.
I know, I know... just do what ya can man! indeed this is how it will pan out I am sure but getting my 300 pound mind to understand that I am not there any more is the trick. It seems like I was just convincing myself that I was not 500 pounds any more and when I get a handle on that (which I believe is part of my problem but thatís for another post) I now have to realize that I have put on some significant weight in the last year or so.
When I started off I would walk as far as I could daily, that distance was first measured in minutes, 10 minutes at a time at the pace of my then 2 and a half year old daughter, this pace increased to carrying her on my shoulders for the walk and eventually turned into 30 mile bike rides. I have begun doing my morning stretch routine again, holy hell am I tight! and as I type this there is a road crew outside my house finishing laying a new road, starting tomorrow morning (looks like the road work will be completed today) my walks will resume, this time with my new now almost 2 year old, and no not at her pace, she will ride in the jogging stroller. My intake has been slowly getting back to where it needs to be, I have started logging my intake daily once again and may start posting it on here again the next time I post, which hopefully will be tomorrow. I did keep one of my good habits and thatís drinking the green tea, I refuse to drink calories so I do still drink 1 gallon of green tea per day and itís been that way since whenever I started that. I mentioned that I refuse to drink calories, thatís almost a whole truth because I have been drinking coffee in the am, I've quit that as of this morning switching it back to a cup of hot green tea instead.
As I type this post out I feel motivated to get my $hit back together and start pushing the scale down again, as I mentioned this restarting is almost as hard as the start, I have the knowledge in my belt this time around, I have a taste of what being a "normal" size is to hold onto and we're ready for round two.
All of the comments on the last post helped immensely! Reading some encouraging words, some tough opinions and a few emails from old friends was a really good kick in the a$$ so thanks for that.
I will attempt to make time to post as often as I can so please stop by again and comments/opinions are always welcome so donít be shy... lord know I'm not.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
There use to be a guy that wrote a blog and lost a bunch of weight, people said that he was inspirational and that what he had accomplished was amazing and to be commended. That fellow once upon a time weighed in at an amazing 534 pounds, life was less than peachy for him at a quarter of a ton. He fought his way down to a for him svelte 305 pounds at his lightest, I admired that guy myself if I am being honest, if you read this blog at all then you know I am that...Honest. Life happens sometimes and using that fact as an excuse is not how this guy gets down but I have to admit that when you are shoveling $hit against the tide itís an exhausting task to say the least and thatís how this ride feels for this fine young lad at this current time in the story line.
I have had zero to no time to sit down and write this blog, or should I say that I had no desire to do so, when the stresses of life step in at times they can feel like trying to push boulders out of the sand with a popsicle stick.. yeah, like that. I have put on more than what I could call a considerable amount of weight since reaching that 305 pound mark, the weight crept up slowly and leveled off then it started creeping back on as I became less conscious of what I was putting into my body and I am currently paying for it in the way of about 75 or so pounds. Fuvkin A man, all that hard work and I am allowing it to pack back on, why? Focusing on me is not a luxury that I have right now but that has to change so I figured that perhaps a post on my blog could sway the direction for me back into something that is going to get me back into a groove.
Riding my bikes has not been happening, my daily calisthenics is but something that I use to do and my walks around the lake are non existent, this is starting to look a lot like what I had when I was 500 plus pounds and I will be completely honest with you it scares me. More than a few attempts to get back on track have faltered after only a couple weeks, at times its been days.. being unable to focus on me because of other things happening in my life are taking precedence frustrates me because I know that if this item on the list does not get attention the house of cards can easily fall behind that single card.
What do you do when you know what to do yet are unable to execute the task as it should be? The tools are there, the experience is there and the will is there yet the struggle feels so much harder than it ever has, if I knew the answer to that question I would not be in this situation.
I have to push forward, I need to make my health priority over everything else and I need to do it yesterday not next week or next month but how?... to be continued I suppose and I am going to try to get on and posting more often once again, if you have any suggestions or straight up reality check $hit, click that leave a comment button because I could use some fresh perspectives right about now.
Friday, September 14, 2012
Let me say, itís been a ride for me this whole getting fit thing. I have come from 534 pounds down to 305 which felt more than the word awesome could ever explain but as of late my weight has been creeping back up. I have not ridden my bike since the end of July and whatís a walk? My regaining is most definitely my fault, I am not doing my part whatsoever. I did try something a little different a couple months back and dropped a quick 20 but life has got me on my toes and its very hard for me to focus and that is not an excuse, I need to be able to stay on track regardless of lifeís bumps, the bumps ain't gonna stop coming... its life.
This morning upon waking up I don't know what hit me but $hits gotta stop, and now...
I have decided that I am going to try to start posting here again and feeling like some interaction with people that are like minded about dropping weight may be what I need so here I am... again. its not easy for me to post this, You know, that I am failing, but putting it out there worked for me in the past and I am hoping that it gets me back into some sort of rhythm again.
I will attempt to restart where I left off, I shall count calories and go for daily walks, the bike riding will come back I am sure but for now I want to start off slow and go for walks with my daughter.... this seems familiar somehow.. if you read my day 1 blog I started with walks with my other daughter who is now 7 years old! Either way, I am back and could use some like minded support and I am not to proud to ask for help so there it is.
Away we go...
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