Thursday, October 20, 2011
When I started writing this blog I was a guy that had no other options, I mean I had options, I could have gotten a surgery or let things go the way that they were heading and prepare for the imminent grenading of my heart but I had to do something. I started writing here in an attempt to stay focused and put out there the struggles of a guy that was really having a hard time of getting around and anything that required movement honestly, not to mention the fact that I was watching life go by from the un-comfort of my broken couch. A lot has changed since I started writing back in January 2008, physical and mental changes, I have gone from unstoppable to questioning the way that I was/am doing things where my health is concerned. The honest truth is that I am up in weight from my lowest point of weighing 305 pounds and will be doing a weigh in post in exactly 72 days, Jan 1st 2012, good bad ugly a weigh in is going to be up, "But why not weigh in now? you use to weigh in every Friday" I did, this time around I have made a personal challenge to myself and am weighing myself every day until then and am planning to post those weights on that weigh in post when the time comes.
Making a personal challenge for myself I think is going to be the ticket for me, there is a new kiddo keeping me on my toes and the older ones are doing the same in their own kind of way. I have to make some time for that 534 pound guy that was struggling with every step, I need to force him and the way things were back then to the surface so that I can refocus on what is important, I somehow keep falling back on the back burnering myself and I need to stop. I have been up and down with my weight in the past I don't even know how many months, within 10 pounds of my lowest weight and as high as 70 pounds heavier and everywhere in between, my personal life has been the same kind of a roller coaster in that time and has impacted my weight loss/health goals for sure, again, its gotta stop because without my health the rest won't really matter much.
2 T creamer (coffee) 70
2 C Honey combs 220
1/2 C almond breeze 45
2 slices light rye 120
3oz smoked deli ham 180
1 wedge Laughing cow cheese 35
1 banana 105
1 apple 100
1 banana 105
5oz ground turkey (slop joe) 225
2 80 cal rolls 160
1 cup white rice 200
2 plums 60
Through the day
dr pepper 10 60
Grand total 1685 total calories.
Exercise is not my issue, bad eating choices most certainly are. The definition of an emotional eater can be seen every time I come within viewing distance of a mirror, stress is my enemy when this is the subject and I need to sort that out. In the beginning I was 500 plus pounds and nothing in our lives could trump that, I was going to die if I didn't do something about it so it was easy to say "I have to be first" but when the perceived risk is lower other things get pushed to the front of the line. Someone reading this that has never struggled with weight might be thinking about how silly it sounds, and I have said it hundreds of times "eat less move more its that simple" Yes I agree that it is that simple but something that it is NOT is easy.
Recommitting to my health has to happen in order for me to be successful in this endeavor, I feel as if I have done that in the last couple of weeks and I couldn't be more into getting out on my bike so exercise is not an issue right now, like I said its the apparent bond that food has with my brain when stress enters stage left that screws the pooch. Making time to write a post on this blog as often as I can (you know, nap time) is on the menu and speaking of menu's I am planning on posting my daily menu's like I did in the beginning as often as I can again, not only do they help me take a look at my intake through the blog but I got plenty of messages about them from you guys!
For today, That's all I got..
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
So, I mentioned in my last post that a new bike was brought into the pile O bikes that I now own and I got to take it out on Saturday for its first ride and my initial opinion on the bike is that I love it. Do I really NEED another bike? yes and no, yes because I feel that my riding had advanced past the K2 that I have been riding and the bike is a couple years old now and since I am me I kind of just wanted a new ride! no because the K2 does what it needs to and has been awesome for me so far but the trigger was pulled on the new bike in either case. I started researching bikes and since I am a fan of the Specialized line up I assumed a Rockhopper comp would be the bike for me but upon test riding one it felt cramped so I kept searching. The Trek Cobia was looking like a clear winner to me after riding a lower end version of the same frame so to the LBS I went, I started chatting with the sales lady and I asked about a last years model Trek X Caliber, she said "let me check". Long story short for a tad more than the 2012 Cobia I could have a 2011 X Cal and I liked the paint scheme better on that anyways not to mention the upgrade in components, the order was placed and a few days later my new bike was ready to be picked up.
There she is, 2011 trek X Caliber Gary Fisher collection.
My plan was to get dropped off at the bike shop and ride the bike home but it was later than I wanted to get there, it was raining and I had no one that was able to drop me off so onto the rack it went and I would have to ride it another time. The bike stared at me..er I stared at the bike as it sat in the living room waiting for Saturday to come and the excitement built up right up until I put it back on the rack Saturday morning to meet my riding buddy at the trail head. A quick once over of the bike when we met up and we were off, we had no real plan on how far we would ride we only wanted to make sure to hop off of the trail at the LBS so that he could buy some pedals for his Jamis. Taking our time we kind of just rode and stopped randomly to let the bikes pose in their natural environment and we ended up riding just under 22 miles, now I really love the bike.
Stopping for a quick break the new Trek next to Ed's Jamis Exile.
One of my favorite shots from the day, I like the way that birch log matches the white on the bike.
A longer shot of the first image that I posted.
Look out! big man coming through!!! 300 pounds plus 20 miles per hour equals a bad day for anyone that gets in the way!
Nice little bridge shot, there were hundreds of geese in the water just to the side of the bridge.
I liked the way that the bikes were positioned in this one, pretty cool picture I think.
Just a little brook with a bridge near the end of the ride, it was a fantastic day for a ride.
Stopping for a rest at one of the trail heads.
My initial thoughts on the new bike is that its well made and VERY comfortable for me, when I first looked at the seat (Bontrager Evoke 1) I thought that it would very likely need to be removed from inside me after a ride but to my surprise it was not uncomfortable during our 22 mile ride. I mentioned in my last post that I did have a little mishap... lets call it a lack of judgement perhaps and ended up with a broken toe on this ride about 12 miles in so I had to ride the 10 miles back to the car with a sore foot, this did not at all take away from my ride, I laughed about it the entire way back and hopefully I am healed up enough to get back out this coming weekend. I have a new set of pedals on order wt the bike shop and I am hoping that they come in this week so that I can ride over there on Saturday and get them put on, I also bought some lock on grips which are already on the bike.
On the surface of my mind almost every time I am riding my bikes I think about how once upon a time I was more than 500 pounds and getting on a bike was not really an option for me. Perhaps I appreciate my time on two wheels as much as I do because of that fact, perhaps its just something that fits me either way my bicycles and my time pedaling them is one of my greatest passions and I don't see that changing any time soon. There are photos of me from when I was 500 plus and most of them I am sitting on a couch or in a chair, not very far from my front door or I use the excuse that "I was holding the camera" now I look at some of the images that I have taken and some of the places that my two wheeled transportation devices have taken me and appreciate every single minute of my time that was spent that way, even when a broken bone was part of it. If you are thinking about getting back onto two wheels my advice would be to stop thinking about it and do it! there is lots to see out there and doing it on top of two wheels is a great way to go about it.
Attempting to post more regularly, stay tuned for more on the fat man, his progress, meal plans and his bikes! don't be afraid to click that leave comment button either!
Until next time, that's all I got.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Spending as much time on my bikes has been my plan to stay on track and that part of the equation has been very much happening. My cycling has been my saving grace in the past couple months, its my me time and honestly besides my kids and the Wify is my greatest passion, I am happiest when I am pedaling my ass off literally and figuratively.
A week ago I rode on a tow path that rides along the Connecticut river, I took it slow because it was the first time I had been on this path and I like to take in the scenery and look around a bit so that's what I did. I only rode 9 miles that day but it was a very relaxing ride with the smell of the salty water in the air and the leaves starting to turn I had lots to take in. I rode my K2 and stopped a few times for some photos, it was a perfect day for a ride about 70 degrees, sunny with some fat white clouds in the sky, days like these are a plenty and once upon a time I was missing out on them because of my weight.
Looking over the Connecticut river on a nice October day, this is at the trail head.
My bike with the kiddo's bike near the trail head, Wify walked with her and I caught up with them for the last 1/2 mile or so of slow riding.
This was after the ride overlooking the Connecticut river again.
Railroad tracks that go over the trail and the river, bike is in the lower right corner.
Taking a break under the tracks I was lucky enough to have a train pass over when I was there, you can see it on the right hand track.
I'm too sexy for my... for my... just a self shot with the Connecticut river in the background.
Cockpit shot coming down the trail.
Posing in front of the inner bank of the tow path.
This is whats behind the bike in the image before this one.
My favorite shot of the day, an old abandoned building at the end of the trail, tossed the bike up on a loading dock for a quick shot.
Me and my bicycle(s) get around these days, my range is expanding on every ride and I enjoy every second that I am pedaling, focusing on the cycling is my plan from here on out and I am hoping to do some winter riding this year. Back in June of 2009 I started down a road that has lead to me becoming one with my two wheels contraptions and I am so very happy that I made the decision to get back in the saddle again. Learning about bikes again has been fun, entertaining and has given me a new hobby, I have upgraded the K2 bike along the way and made it into a pretty fun and dependable bike to ride but I started feeling like my riding was outgrowing that bike so I started looking into a new dual wheeled transportation device and picked it up last week.
This weekend I had a chance to take my new ride out on its maiden voyage and an interesting ride it was! I joined the 29er crowd and bought a 2011 Gary Fisher collection Trek X-Caliber and my initial feeling on the bike is WOW! I have only ridden 22 miles on it so far, took a look at a new trail and ended up with some... how do I say? injuries? on that first ride but man I love the way this thing rides! I won't get into it too much, I shall leave that for another post but here is a sneak peek at the bike from Saturdays 22 mile ride and one of the um..... injuries.
Oh my! a broken toe!
A sneak peek at the 2011 Xcal just hanging out on the trail.
Making it a point to ride as much as possible is my goal right now, I feel as if biking is a huge part of my weight loss and better health goals so keeping it on the forefront of the fight is the plan. Keeping the cranks turning while keeping the fuel clean is going to be the way of the meatball, the results will be what they are and with some hard work, discipline and a steady intake of positive vibes I am hoping that we can dent the weight. Getting to below 300 pounds over this fall and winter would be a fantastic addition to my spring time riding season and with that a goal is set.
Trying to get more posts up is always on my mind so keep checking back, I AM still here and kicking, its that life is kicking too so sometimes its harder to sit down and write a post.
Until next we meet.... That's all I got
Tuesday, October 04, 2011
It's that time of year again, the leaves are starting to fall from their high perches littering themselves across our yards, the weather is cooling off so I dug out some of my jeans to put at the top of the heap. I figure since my weight has changed so much over the last year and a half from being as low as 305 pounds and as high as 381 pounds a few months ago, yeah I just said 381.... I have been at many different weights between those numbers and months so where am I with my jeans I thought? I tried on a pair of 42x32 jeans and sure enough what I suspected was true.... I can button them and zip em but they are a tad too snug.... fuvk.... so out came the 44x32 and viola! like a glove... this IS NOT a good thing, it is what it is I suppose.
I have been in the past month or two been on and off with my being strict on the food front and exercise has been limited to short rides on my bike at night after dinner as well as a longer (20-25 mile) ride on Saturdays or Sundays, and that's just not cutting it. Getting into a groove and then having it grenade in my face rinse repeat seems to be how its going for me, yeah yeah I know toughen up fat boy! YOU make the decision on what to stuff into your pie hole, YOU make the decisions on whether you will do calisthenics throughout the day YOU are the reason that the weight is not coming off and staying off. Indeed I do know that, the Spock in me tells me everything that I need to know about losing weight, I have lost up to 229 pounds during this journey!... yeah lets call it a journey, doing it MY way, so I do know what it takes its the emotional part of it that's getting me and as a non Vulcan it seems that it matters.
If you have followed my blog you know that I am struggling right now with keeping my $hit together, There are a lot of reasons for the lack of discipline and with that very statement I can say that a lack of discipline falls directly on the users shoulders, MY shoulders. My time is at a premium these days and dealing with some stuff that I won't mention in the blog on top of the lack of time has lead to long times between posts and general mayhem in my world of "get fit" but alas! I must try. Attempting to get some posts up in the flurry of insanity that is my life right now is on my short list because I feel that the blog does in fact keep me on track, it gives me something else to focus on so with that again I say..... gonna try and keep this train rollin'
That's it for this post, no bells, no whistles, just a guy that has seemingly lost his way a bit in a chaotic time in his life, it is hard to make me my number one priority when there are so many other things which demand the attention right now.
Making me number one has to happen though, now to figure out how to do that again...
My time your pain I reign on you...... My mind said to my body...
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Nobody said that losing and keeping weight off would be easy and I think that I let the ease of the first year and a half go to my head because add some serious stress into my life and well I am up more than a couple pounds currently. Last night I was looking at some pictures and pissed myself off, there was a time in my life when I was happy with how I looked, how I felt and had an aura around me that said all of that with only a look, you knew I was where I wanted to be. When you weigh 534 pounds along with the way a person looks there is the way that they feel and that is more important in the grand scheme of things and recently some of the blah has peeked in through the crack in the door, the crack that I left there for it to peek into.
This was almost exactly a year ago on a mini vacation that me and Wify took and is in fact the picture that pissed me off, I am up in weight since this was taken and look at this almost like my benchmark picture because I know how I felt when it was taken..... alive.
Life has stress, this is as it is for every human being on the planet if I had to take a wild guess and how we handle that stress indeed dictates what we do in any given situation. The stress does not define any one of us, what it does is make defining one self that much more difficult by tossing into the mix feelings that don't allow us to focus on the task at hand exclusively. Most things can be over looked but some rule our thoughts until they do not, the loss of a loved one, problems with our children, and injuries are just some of them but each one alone would be enough to toss that proverbial monkey wrench into the works let alone if there are multiple stresses in ones life. Making excuses is easy, and anyone that has read any of this blog knows that I don't make excuses but I am realistic too and know that sometimes no matter how hard we push that the wall is sometimes impossible to break through, so we get stuck, sitting on the wrong side of a wall trying to figure out a way to get onto the other side.
After some time on our ass we stand up from the wrong side of the wall and notice the door, a single forceful kick later and we are through, its clear again how things have to be but in the near distance another wall is visible. Does that other wall also have a door? that cannot be seen from here but I suppose we should meander on over and take a look because if we stay here next to this wall for too long perhaps the door will slam shut again leaving us stranded on the wrong side for God only knows how long.
Last night after looking through some old photos I came to the conclusion that I had to get back into the grooe of doing me... Having a new baby in the house really does slam the brakes on when it comes to having time to get a good workout into my day but it should not have any sway on the fuel that I out into my body. I woke up this morning and started right into my "old routine" of weighing myself and making my breakfast with my salter scale, shot a random text to a friend about when her baby started crawling and that text turned into about 30 minutes of weight loss chitter chatter. This person has also lost a significant amount of weight, was in the same boat with having an infant in the house to take care of and I won't bore you with any more of that except that she said "for the first time in a LONG time I feel good about me" and that is exactly how I felt in the photo that I posted above...... what she said reinforced the way that I feel and helped me to see the door which is now kicked in.
Re-start? Do over? just a bump in a road longer than originally thought? call it what you will.....
Recommitting myself to myself is how I am going to see it...
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