Wednesday, December 15, 2010
I know a guy that took a peek at the scale and could not be happier with the progress that has come in the last two weeks, its the same fella that looks back at me in the mirror each morning. Sometimes I like to look at old pictures from when I weighed 500 plus pounds just to keep me grounded as to how far I have actually come in the last couple of years, every time I look I am amazed. Though the memories are mine, I can clearly remember the struggles as if they were yesterday but somehow I have a hard time believing that it was me in that body. To think about just how much 534 pounds is and then imagine that I use to lug it around with me everywhere that I went may just be the most insane thing that I can think of because it was in fact a feat in itself that I was able to walk up the flight of stairs to get to my bed room.
I have been so focused lately that even though Wify took a day off from work yesterday so that we could finish up Christmas shopping I told her that I needed to be dropped off at the gym at some point because I wasn't willing to miss it for anything. I brought my own food along to carry me through the morning and we had Subway for lunch, my calories for the day came in at 1745 total and there were no huge gaps between meals. Seeing that photo that I took a couple weeks ago photoshopped next to the one where I was down to 305 pounds really kicked my ass, it forced me to realize that no matter how comfortable I am right now in my own skin, and the extra skin, that I need to keep going hard until I get where I need to with my health.
The gym for me has been mainly cardio with some light weight lifting tossed in for good measure, I have started doing push ups at home again like in the beginning and that's been my workouts. I miss riding my bike, That bike is sitting lonely in the bedroom begging me to take it out for a ride but I am afraid when the man in the magic box says that its 2 degrees outside with the windchill I must pass. Yeah yeah, I know that I should HTFU and just get out there and at least take a short ride but that's not what I want! I need to take a nice 20 mile ride down the trail again, I miss it and has become one of my passions. The gym doesn't touch the bike in enjoyment factor but that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy my time at the gym because I do! some of the staff could use some training with their people skills lately but I am not there for anything other than bustin' my arse so no worries on that...for now.
Focusing on myself again I know that I will be where I want to be in short time, pushing myself to get down to that goal weight of 275 pounds in basically my job right now and I am not planning on stopping until I get there. The goal is just that, a goal, I have a feeling that I will get below that initial low goal weight and I have a goal of hitting 267 pounds too because at that weight I will have lost 50% of my total high weight.
Will he get there? will this once 534 pound man be able to remove 50% from his highest weight? I have a feeling that its just a matter of time so stick around and watch.
That's all I got.
Monday, December 13, 2010
You will have to say no to the cake, the Cheetoes and perhaps even the pint of Ben & Jerrys Dublin mudslide on this road and there will be blood sweat and tears, not necessarily in that order along the way. Losing weight in my opinion has to be a full time commitment otherwise we lose site of what it is that we are attempting to accomplish, its like being pregnant you either are or you aren't there is no "kinda" when you have close to 300 pounds to lose, Kinda is fine for maintaining but to lose its got to be more than that. Getting comfy on the couch with your sweet heart is one thing, please enjoy! but getting comfy and slacking off with a weight loss plan just ain't gonna cut it Francis so slowly drop the Doritos onto the floor and step away from the bag.
I saw this in the supermarket and I am not sure if this is "diet food" BUT I can tell ya I ain't touchin' the stuff! even if it is "Microwavable".
As of late my "kinda" has turned into down right "holy hell get out of that guys way" on the diet front, to say that I am focused does not even begin to describe where I am currently. I refuse to miss a day at the gym, which really is par for the course but I have been focusing on Cardio mainly with limited but still present weight training lately because I am still above 300 pounds and feel it has to be where I focus for now. Getting ahead of myself could slow me down and until I get below 300 pounds its the cardio first train for this guy because like that photo from August 2007 that started me down this road the image that I took last week pissed me off. My life has changed in more ways than I can put into type written word here for you since making the decision to work on my health and get the weight off and I can only imagine how it will change when I get down to my goal weight and below.
Just me at the gym workin' on me at the gym.
I Honestly cannot remember when exactly it was that I weighed less than 300 pounds but I know that it was younger than my Freshman year in High school. I am pretty certain that there will be no fireworks or parades when I get to my goal weight but I am 100% sure that I will be in a different place than I was when I weighed 500 plus pounds, and almost certainly things will be different than they are now even. I am looking forward to pulling an XL shirt over my head and having it fit, The idea of wearing a pair of jeans where the waist is smaller than 40 is something that I can't wait for and these are things that more than most of the people on the planet take for granted every morning when they get dressed. Silly little goals in a big mans head that mean more than he will ever say aloud is part of the drive that keeps me pushing onward even when stress tells me to give in and strap the bag of Doritos to my face and inhale its contents.
I believe that as long as I keep what I know about losing weight and getting healthy in the front of everything that I do in a day that I will be successful in reaching all of the goals and expectations that I put in front of myself. Any person can have a healthy life if they want it, there will always be bumps in the road and we all have our "issues" but living healthy can happen as long as we stay disciplined because no matter how bad the injury in my back hurts I can eat healthy and do what I can with exercise. Excuses are just that, they are made up reasons as to why we won't can't eat right and or exercise for any given day, put the excuse on the floor with that bag of doritos from earlier and start livin' because no one else can do the work for you.
I'm itching to get to the gym so for today, That's all I got.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Join me on Facebook
Or on my blog
Though I am not weighing in for the blog until December 31st "last weigh in of the year" if you will, doesn't mean that I am going to stay off of the scale for my personal motivation until then. This morning I am very happy with the weeks work, if this pace keeps up I will make some goals much earlier than I project and honestly that's fine by me. Getting back to what works for me was an easy switch from the goin' easy on my self skating along not gaining but not losing stance that I had taken for a few months.
I'm not really interested in hearing anything negative that anyone has to say currently, I mean if I have to hear it that's fine but its but a glancing blow as I have one thing on my mind right now, to lose as much weight as I can before April 1st. When I began this blog I made an image of a train on a track heading towards a man and it has been the header of my blog since then. The image represented me taking on something that seemed an impossible task like the fella who was going to stop the train. I am right now more like the train in that image because unstoppable is the flavor of the day and like in the beginning I am very focused with the task at hand, I need to get down to my goal weight and push through Mr. 97%.
At the gym I have had a bit of tunnel vision lately, walk in, find my machine, ride it until I am done and leave. Nothing matters to me when I am working out besides making it through the workout, sure I people watch while I am there but I am finding that I am collecting different movements that I see others doing and am adding them to a workout list that I am creating. I have basically made my life into one of Count every calorie, workout every day, drink enough and get 8 hours sleep per night and everything else is going to have to be back burnered for a short time because without my health what do I have?
Short and random was today's post but it is what it is because I am looking to get a good hard workout in today and will need to spend a little more time at the gym than usual so need to get my "around the house" stuff done earlier than normal.
What will you do this weekend to nurture a healthier lifestyle?
Thursday, December 09, 2010
Wednesday was one of those days where I felt like everything went right even when it went wrong, I woke up two minutes before my alarm and even though I have a little bit of a cold right now felt good. My morning cup of tea went down and I began my day, The gym was calling so I wrote yesterdays post and did not wait to go to the gym at my normal time and out the door I went into the freezing cold, did I mention that the lake is beginning to freeze over? At the gym I rode my stationary bike for 35 minutes at a 95RPM average followed by a trot on the treadmill 7% incline 3.5MPH for 30 minutes and home I headed for lunch. My calories came in at 1760 for the day and was very balanced, drinking is never an issue but for the record I finished the day with 2 gallons of green tea and H2O with a side of 3 cups of hot green tea. My son came home from school and decided that he would throw a temper tantrum, I told him that it was coming off of his end of the night ie: You're going to bed early tonight kid and on I went with my positive vibe.
The picture that I took a few nights ago has really impacted me in a positive way even though it literally turned my stomach when I put it next to my 305 shirtless pound photo and I seem to have found my mojo again. I think seeing a side by side of myself looking heavier was what I needed right now, Getting comfortable was getting out of hand and like I said even though I wasn't really gaining weight regularly I had gained some and was just hovering there. Nothing is getting to me right now, I believe that a Rum cake from Luigi's Bakery could be put in front of me with a fork and I wouldn't touch it, yes folks, its like that. Every bite, every ingredient, and every drink is weighed and measured before I will eat it and then it is written into my excel sheet for the record books. Right now as I type I have three meals written into my excel sheet and an amount of calories left over for snacks or smaller meals that will fit between my meals and as far as fuel goes I know where mine will come from all day long. As long as I stick to the excel sheet I cannot fail today where my fuel is concerned, this is how I look at food, it is merely fuel for my body to complete the tasks for any given day.
The concept of looking at my food as Fuel and nothing more is how I did it from the very beginning so its nothing new to me, only recently have I started looking at it as "hmmm I like the way that tastes better than this so I will have that instead" so back to food is fuel I go. Saying food is fuel doesn't mean that I eat cardboard either, looking at my excel sheet for today my breakfast was 2 cups of honey comb cereal with 1 cup of 1% milk, I will have an almond Zone perfect bar before I go to the gym, Lunch is going to be 4oz of panko breaded haddock fillets on 100 calorie deli slims with some laughing cow cheese (my version of a fillet O fish but mine are only 225 calories each), then Dinner is going to be 2 soft tacos/burritos made on 100 calorie tortillas (which are huge, two more than fills me up) and the three meals leaves me 205 calories to play with. The 205 calories will be all fruit, perhaps a pear, a banana and a few grape tomatoes? that's the beauty of it, I can adjust it however I want/need to and I am not ever once in a day feeling hungry or like I am missing out on anything.
In the beginning I was a 500 pound man with few options, many of them led me into a hole in the ground, some led to expensive surgeries, and one led me to where I am today. These days I am a much healthier version of that guy but the same guy none the less, I have a feeling that I will struggle with food for a long time but when I can get my head into this in a way where I turn all cravings and ahem..addictions into logical thinking it is I who runs Bartertown. I have a feeling that on December 31st when I step onto that scale for the blog that anyone that is following my little trek through weight loss will understand just how focused I have become again, lets just say that Wify suggested that I take the day off from the gym today because I have been going so hard, just like old times.
We do in fact control our own destiny, we are the one with the fork in our hands so unless you are tied to a chair with a large ogre of a man forcing food down your gullet YOU are the one that decides what goes in.
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
I find that sometimes re-reading my posts helps me to stay focused and makes me practice what I preach so I often times go over what was written for any given day for my own benefit. I read a lot, what I should say is that I read a lot about health, nutrition and weight loss, whether this is medical stuff or weight loss sites, sports nutrition books or some of your blogs and articles I love soaking it all in and have done so from January 2008. I at times hear people say or read in comments or blogs things that are just down right negative ie: counter productive to weight loss/health and a lot of times I want to write an email to them or wish that I could talk to that person face to face and ask them how they expect all of the negativity to result in positive results? When I am face to face with someone and the subject comes up on a mutual common ground kind of level I will ask, or ask them why they feel that way and give my view about it, sometimes its taken for what it is, just another guys opinion and sometimes I get the gas face and a "yeah whatever dude" look.
My black Chocobo and Dark Knight, oh my!
In yesterdays post I said "working hard has to replace all of the things that put the weight on" that statement made me start thinking about my life in the past and how the weight was put on. The variables are all over the place from buying mostly processed foods and keeping them in the house, playing video games for hours on end to late night stealth ninja runs to the drive through windows of greasy doom. Those things need to change but most of all the negativity is the main culprit in this fight, how can we expect to better our lives if all we do is complain about how terrible everything is all of the time? Negativity breeds more of the same and when its broken down its just a way of giving ourselves a reason to fail that is not on our own shoulders, but alas young Padowan, our destiny does in fact fall squarely onto each of our own shoulders no matter how much we pad it with negativity. Focus on what maddens us and we will never become great, but if the things that chain us down are viewed as something to push us into greatness then that is what we will have, and I whole heartedly believe that statement.
I will never and have never said it would be easy, I mean hell! do you realize how hard it was to cold turkey walk away from a level 75 Dark Knight? or the level 75 Black Mage??, but seriously none of it is easy. We are forced to change everything that we know in order to have the healthy life that we want, and you may not know it right now but you DO want it! When I was 500 plus pounds nothing that you could have said to me would have convinced me otherwise but having been there done that I can honestly say that I did want it even if I convinced myself that it didn't matter. There will be no more sitting for hours in a dented couch watching television with mayonnaise on your tee shirt, the 2 liter of coke will have to be left at the store and paying attention to what goes into the pie hole is priority one not to mention the exercise! see not easy! or I should say not as easy as not caring?
I have made a ton of changes in how I get down, I eat whole foods, I drink green tea like no other, the gym and my mountain bike are my go to for when I have free time and no matter what I don't let negativity into my life. I just don't see the point of complaining and whining about things that I have no control over when the things that I do have control over are where it counts, everyone has $hitty things in their lives, not a single one of us is alone when we look at our issues, ALL of us have some! The major difference is that some of us roll with the punches and others look at the negative and beat it a bloody pulp looking for it to be the next excuse as to why they failed. Take those negatives and replace them with something that will help the fight, otherwise the negativity will make it feel like shoveling $hit against the tide, again ask me how I know.
That's all I got.
Get An Email Alert Each Time BOTZZZ Posts