Thursday, December 02, 2010
So here I sit, feeling good about some changes that I recently made to the program and I have a 60 pound monkey hanging off of my back whom I intend on shaking off optimally in the next four months. I have written this blog from the point of view that a 500 plus pound guy would have and that was fitting because it is where I came from but since I have maintained my current weight for more than a year its time to start looking at things from the vantage point of a relatively healthy 300 pound guy that works out regularly. I struggle with the same things on different levels now than when I weighed so much more and with that comes the capability to do more physically and not worry as much about getting hurt because of the weight making me unstable, my exercise is not where I have issues.
Yesterday at the gym looking big just before getting on the treadmill.
These days I struggle with the comfort of being able to do what I want to when I want to and making not so great choices with my intake has come into play because of that. I am not gaining weight so keep all of the "see you're going to gain it all back fat man" in your pocket, I have maintained a weight that fluctuates up and down within about a 10 pound range for quite some time now and it needs to stop. Being comfortable has stopped my progress where losing weight is concerned and I say that part about the weight because I am stronger than I was 6 months ago I am just not lighter, Its a mental thing but then that's what losing weight is all about so its no big surprise.
Because I don't feel like I am in immediate danger of having a grenade go off in my chest at any given moment I have relaxed with my discipline when food is the thing that we're talking about, Partially because of the comfort but that's not the only thing. At the very core of this and as much as I hate to admit it food is an addiction for me if not in the same way a crack addict craves the high it is an issue because as soon as things get stressful I find myself chewing on something. I noticed a pattern within myself where when a situation that is in my life flares, yeah lets say flares because that's a nice way of saying it that still keeps it vague I will have two or three days of not giving a damn about my eating, I still go to the gym, I don't drink less but the calorie counting is out the window. I have at times convinced myself that its ok though because I have after all lost 200 pounds and am not really hindered by my weight any more but I need to get past this 300 pound mark, it is the hardest goal that I have ever faced in my life.
Hardest goal? what the hell are you talking about man? You weighed 534 pounds! this should be cake! Ok saying cake was mean but let me splain something that I have discovered about me and this whole trip to the half thing. I weighed more than 500 pounds for perhaps 8 years of my life, it was foreign to me, struggling to walk, panting just from going up a flight of stairs and thinking about how close I was to being in a hole with a piece of granite scribed with some kind words about the fat man on it was a daily worry. Now if we're going to count how many years I have been right around that 300 pound mark it would be the rest of my adult life right on down to about age 13 or so and honestly this weight feels like where I am suppose to be so its hard for me to see myself weighing less than that. Stupid! I know but hey it is what it is but as long as I see it and understand that its there I think that I can get past it so that's the plan, no matter how comfortable I am right now with the way that I feel I am not happy with what I see in the mirror not to mention the not doing what I set out to do yet.
The time for being comfortable is over because at the very core of all of this I am not comfortable, I need to get down to my goal and I need to do it sooner than later, I know this and anything less than my 100% is just excuses and slacking. When I began this whole weight loss thang I told Wify that as a reward for getting to my goal weight of 275 pounds that I wanted to buy myself a new bike to which she agreed and if I can get my $hit together and drop this last 60 pounds I will be below that goal and a new old motorcycle shall be parked in my driveway this summer. I will not do this so that I can buy a bike though, I will do it because I honestly feel that getting down below 300 pounds for good will be something very significant in my life and as much weight as I have lost thus far getting below 300 pounds will be bigger than anything I have done to date for my health.
Lose 100 pounds? done! Lose 200 pounds? done! Live comfortably? done! Tattoo for losing 200 pounds? done! Motorcycle for hitting goal weight? Coming to a theater near you Summer 2011, Weigh less than I did at age 13? Same theater same summer.
That's all I got.
Wednesday, December 01, 2010
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Today I am going to introduce somebody to you, he will write a sort of guest post and give his point of views, I have only let one other person "guest post" on my blog since I started it back in 2008 and that was my wife. When I started writing in this blog I didn't know how or what it would turn into if anything at all and honestly I believed that I would make it about a week before I stopped logging in to write down my thoughts on weight loss and how things were going but as you know that wasn't the case. I was a 500 plus pound man who had no clue of how many days he had left on the planet because of a whole lot of extra weight and fear was in fact a driving force in how I was able to strictly stick to the plan that I had set in front of myself and I am down more than 200 pounds since Day 1 zeusmeatball.blogspot.com/2008/01/da
y-1.html . I wanted to let this person post because of the things that he is finding difficult with his weight loss, there is no fear to drive him its plainly just a lighter weight, he is significantly lighter than I was when I began but a weight loss struggle is at the core the same fight no matter who it is or what they weigh. Here goes nothing, a guest post from someone that I have been friends with for some time now, he struggles as I struggled in the beginning, its usually the case when we press into uncharted waters.
Let me start off by saying thanks to Zeusmeatball for the opportunity to post on his blog, I weigh more than 300 pounds and have for most of my life, there have been times when I was worse off than I am now physically but right now I do believe that I am in the best shape of my life even though the general physical shape of me is round. I do go to the gym almost daily, I lift weights and ride a mountain bike as often as I can but even with that all said I have been over 300 pounds for most of my life and am finding it very difficult to beat the weight down past that mark. I eat mostly whole foods these days but there are times that I feel like having a beer or stopping at a restaurant that I've never been to and sometimes that starts the spiral. I am completely comfortable with my weight even though I know that its too much and that fact gets in my way more often than not.
I have lived healthy for a while now and life gets in the way of my drive quite often and turning to food for comfort is too easy, though I am pretty healthy I don't feel the guy that I see in the mirror matches the fella in the gym. I have about 60 to 70 pounds that I would like to drop, probably more in the long run and am finding it hard to keep built momentum. I drink enough during any given day and I count calories (I learned that from Zeusmeatball) but because there is no death knocking on the door like Zeus had its all too easy for me to justify the extra comfort calories lately. I have goals sure, some of which are pretty important but still I struggle with staying perfectly on track with weighing and measuring every bite that goes into my mouth, I wonder how Zeus did it at times, then I read some of the older posts and the plan is simple.
I am beginning on a journey to get these 60 to 70 pounds off and its very much like the battle Zeusmeatball has fought over the past couple of years but some of the driving forces are a little different. I am not a 500 pound man that struggles to walk more than 50 feet but someone who can go to the gym and work for an hour on cardio machines without too much of a problem, I am not a man that would buckle the rims on a bicycle but someone that can and does ride 20 miles on a mountain bike as often as possible but the food I struggle with. Shifting my concentration to meticulously counting calories, eating only whole foods and making sure that I am getting enough vegetation throughout every day is what I need to do because I have the other stuff down pretty solid. I will take from all of the posts in this blog any information that I can get and use it to my advantage because looking back, if a 500 plus pound man can count every bite that goes in, walk slowly and in pain every day of every week without pause then me at just over 330 pounds can surely follow suit.
Zeusmeatball has written a lot of blog posts over the years, He has saved his life with the changes that he has made in his life and I know that he will be around a lot longer than if those changes weren't made. I look up to him and know first hand how hard the struggle was and is for him, he is the strongest man that I know and I owe a lot to him and because of that I have to show him that I can in fact follow his lead and drop the weight that I need to. Looking down the barrel of having to lose almost 300 pounds and the view of having to lose 70 or maybe even 100 pounds is somewhat different while the cards that must be played are very much alike. Today starts something new for me because I am going to start blogging not as a 500 pound man facing death but as a 300 plus pound guy facing the same kind of struggle from the vantage point of a much healthier version of my former self.
The guest post is written and a new struggle has begun, You can read Anthony's blog Here zeusmeatball.blogspot.com/ , I hope that you can follow along because I have a feeling that it will be a lot like my blog. Pushing through stresses that I have no control over will have to be extremely important in my life because no matter what else is in that life I have to be priority one else I could find myself back in a world of hurt with my health. I can promise myself and the ones that I love this will never happen and to prove it I will become a machine once again with my health regimen because if I can do it at 500 pounds and in constant pain then I can do it when I am physically capable of stopping the world from turning.
The struggles are cut of the same cloth but the mental is much different once you have pushed your way out of the corner.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
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Or on my blog
So over the weekend I was cleaning the yard and when I brought a barrel of leaves for the compost pile I noticed something in my mother in laws back yard, who lives next door to us. A HUGE tree had fallen in a summer storm and their chainsaw wasn't big enough to go through the mass of an about 6 foot long section of trunk and its been sitting back there just waiting for me. I thought about how I like to toss "alternative exercises" into my program as much as possible and had the great idea that I would go out and buy an axe and chip this massive section of tree into some primo firewood for the coming colder months. This morning I got to the gym nice and early where I did 25 minutes on the stationary bike followed by some weight lifting, spending time on my shoulders felt good but that chunk of tree was in my head the whole time. Sunday I had run out and bought a shiny new 4.5 pound axe which is an inch under 3 feet long and I decided on the ride home that I would eat something quick and onto the tree I would go.
Da new axe.
Spending about 2 hours with that axe in my hands left me with a pair of blisters and a cracked axe handle but I did make a dent in the chunk O wood and there is a small pile of firewood for my efforts. I unfortunately did not take an after picture of the log and the wood but I will take and post one either later or tomorrow, I know, how exciting wood! but hey! it is alternate exercise for me and I am trying to focus on that to change things up a bit so it is what it is, besides all of the people that say that they can't afford a gym membership can see that there ARE other ways to break a sweat. This chunk of wood has sat where it is for months now and isn't really bothering anyone since its at the back of the property but I know that they would like it to be gone and I know a guy stupid enough to chop up a piece of hardwood that's about 6 feet long and has a diameter of more than 3 feet by hand so its on.
Front view with the failed shallow chainsaw marks from over the summer.
Back side, look at all of those knots! its going to be a challenge to actually cut this entire thing up.
I did make some changes in my calories because I had hit sort of a wall with the 2000 calorie up that I did a few weeks back so I am back to 1700 and on weight lifting days I will add a whey protein shake to see how that goes. Over all the weight is in a downward swing right now and has been coming down faster since I changed it back to 1700 so until I hit a wall with it I am going with the if it ain't broke way of thinking. I lost all of my weight on a 1700 calorie intake and along the way I change things in the way of exercise and calories from time to time and I always seem to come back to the 1700 calorie allotment so that's where I am at right now.
This week is Thanksgiving and I will have some good eats come Thursday but I am not going to over indulge in anything and am bringing a low calorie side dish so that I know I can make good choices come dinner time. Making my way towards 275 pounds one meal at a time and one workout at a time I know that I will be there and that April goal is still on the table, perhaps I will make it to that line in the sand and perhaps I will fall short, all to be found out on a later episode of as the fat guy turns.
Until next time, keep on keepin on, its all that we can do after all.
Friday, November 19, 2010
This morning I awoke from my slumber and decided before my feet even hit the hard wood floor that I was not going to the gym, I was up late, was out of bed 30 minutes early and feeling it. I read somewhere that we should make our beds every morning because it sets the pace for the day so after I hit the head I walked into the living room and asked the boss lady if she needed any help to get her morning going. She could see that I wasn't my regular old not a morning person self and said "Nah I got it" so there I sat thinking about what I would make for breakfast, a bowl of cereal later I sat down to write a blog post. Nothing was coming to mind and nothing exciting happened that would lead me to write a post, nothing health/weight loss related anyhow because there was the incident with the raccoon a jack O lantern and flip flops. Al Roker was running about on the Today show and I began thinking about how my day would play out, should I finish raking the leaves in the yard? perhaps it was time to paint the bathroom or maybe I would just sit on the couch all day and be as useless as I felt.
Not long after I shot down all of my ideas including the one where I had a go at world domination with my new friend the raccoon I thought some green tea needed to be made. Somewhere between the ice cube tray and stubbing my pinky toe I decided that bad attitude and bloody toe be damned, I needed to at least go to the gym for a short bike ride. The gym clothes were placed upon my slowly moving body and I had a time getting the pants pulled up over my dragging ass but I was off. By the time I made it to the gym My attitude improved marginally and I honestly thought "Well, I did technically go to the gym today so now I can go home" Suck it up Butter cup! get your ass in there.
That trip to the gym was very much productive, I started off with a 20 minute bike ride to warm things up and I ended with a 99RPM pace which is great! Off to the weights I went and did my back and biceps, I threw in one shoulder movement for good measure and the weight lifting session took me the better part of an hour, realizing that the mopey uninspired fella that drove me to the gym had gone home it was back onto the bike for 30 more minutes. Covered in sweat now, I return to my car and drive home to make myself a nice lunch, The leaves are raked and I pulled up all of my Canna bulbs to store for the winter.
I just came from my bedroom and ya know what? that bed still isn't made.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
To think that I was "That guy" you know, the one that would eat a whole pizza just because it tasted good and not think twice about the repercussions of the act, in fact I have a friend that would do the same thing and it was normal to us to go grab a couple pies for dinner and scoff them down with a 2 liter of coke. I was the guy that would take the challenge of "So, how many $.99 Whoppers do you think that you can eat at one time?" and run with it, the answer is 8 and because the tab was on someone else I was ok with it and I look back at that and my guess is that it was one of the most calorie laden $8 ever spent. This morning I noticed that it was 8:40am and I had dropped a half gallon of green tea down the hatch already, I thought about how that green tea use to be soda or whole milk and seriously what the hell was I thinking? how could any of that be alright? but that was me guilty as charged.
I worked in a manual labor job at the time and believe me when I say that I got PLENTY of exercise at that job and I think its the reason that I was able to eat the way that I did and not get over 350ish pounds. Seven in the morning until five or six at night digging holes, mixing concrete and installing most of the time steel frame work for five to six days per week gets the blood pumping and in hindsight I can say without a doubt that is why I never gained weight back then. An injury back in about 2000 forced me to take a job that was not physical at all, in fact I spent the next 8 years either not working because of the injury or behind a desk and since there was no movement other than walking to the car to drive to the office I was unable to drop any of the weight that I had gained in the first few years after my injury. I became "That guy" again, You know, the huge fellow pouring himself into the car each morning wearing uncomfortable "business casual" clothing, looking sloppy because none of it fit correctly and of course because of those things did not come off as confident as he could, typical fat dude behind a computer in an office and not because it was a choice but because anything more labor intensive would grenade his heart.
My life is what it is, I wouldn't change any of it mostly because my experiences make me who I am and I can honestly say that I am happy over all. I have everything that I need and most of what I want in life right now, sure there are things that I wish I had done earlier and other things that I want to accomplish that could have been done by now if I had gotten started years ago but at this point in my life things could be much worse. I choose to focus on the positive things in my existence insisting on doing things the way that they need to be done in order for me to stay where I need to be and I can't say that was always the case, perhaps I am evolving? growing up? maturing? I am unsure but I know that focusing on the negative will only drag me down so its just not how I get down these days. I fuel my body with mostly clean food, drinking H2O and green tea exclusively these days and I attempt to get some sort of physical activity into every one of my 24 hour segments of time that you humans like to call a day.
I go to the gym almost every day and I only say almost because I enjoy riding my bike more than I like the gym so when weather permits I try and ride instead, I hike when at all possible and Wify comes with me when that happens, I am always looking to do something physical. My kids randomly drop to the floor and bang out some push ups or sit ups all of the time, they say that kids learn from their parents and I would like to believe that they do it because I do the same, I know its why and I have faith that none of my kids will ever suffer from being obese from inactivity. Every person in my family eats healthy these days, there is no soda in my home, no jars or bags full of cookies and I know that the home prepared meals are full of nutrients and not laced with fats and overly salted calories. Again I am finding that I am "That guy" but this time its something to look up to, no more "So, how many $.99 Whoppers do you think that you can eat at one time?" instead I am that guy that insists on living healthy and making it to the gym each day is a very important ideal to me. I don't care how "picky" or "pain in the ass" I might seem to be these days when it comes to what goes into my body, the key words are "My body" and its the only one that I have so from now on its just how its gotta be.
I like this version of "That guy" so I think that I'll keep it for a while.
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