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Meeting a-(nother) biggest loser.

Monday, October 18, 2010


The weekend has come and gone, there were ups there were downs but we made it unscathed for the most part. Nothing in the way of exercise was experienced but busy was the flavor of the day on both days so with that a new week begins. Saturday I had the opportunity to head on over to a health and wellness fair in Hartford CT we got to check things out, from a local EMT bicycle patrols whips and gear to a past biggest loser contestant. I met Bill Germanakos from season 4 of the biggest loser back in October of 2008 at this same health fair and this time around I had a chance to meet Rudy Pauls from season 8 of TBL. Nichole Brewer from season 7 was there too but I didn't get the chance to meet her as she was not quite at the booth when I went through , she is in the background of a photo that wify took of me talking with Rudy so I just missed her and hadn't noticed that she was setting up until I got home and looked at my pictures.


Me and Rudy Pauls from The biggest loser season 8 in Hartford October 16th 2010.

I Talked with Rudy for a few minutes and as we were chatting I said to him "I've lost more than 200 pounds so far" to which he responded "I can see it in your face" then said "I mean you can see it everywhere but I mean...yeah you can see it" and then went into talking about the loose skin that he has to deal with and how it bothers him. This told me that yes indeed I have "that look" of someone that has lost a lot of weight, you know the look right? the one where from the chest up I look perfectly normal almost like a fella with a little more on his bones than he should have but over all looks healthy and then the skin is an obvious flag hanging from those same bones stating loudly that the Sharpei is all up in the house. I am not all hung up on the fact that the skin is there because the alternative is much worse, you know, that other life where I weigh 500 plus pounds, yeah that one so the fact that its there though it bugs me I am happy that its not what it was 3 years ago.

Rudy was pretty nice and I have found of all three of the contestants that I have met from the biggest loser all share that, every one of them was more than willing to chat and talk about what was successful for them and offer advice. I met Neil Tejwani who was also on season 4 not at a fair or event but in an every day place which I will not disclose exactly where that was but I have had more than a few conversations with him over the past year. When you share something like dropping 200 pounds with somebody they know just as much as you do just how hard it is to live at the higher weights and I find that most people are more than willing to share their experiences with others who may be struggling or need help. My daughter wanted to get a picture with Rudy "Dada, I want to take a picture with the exercise show guy" but changed her mind when it came time for the shot "Nah, I don't wanna" at the last minute.

Sunday we pretty much gutted a room in my house that was being used for storage because we want to use it for a rec room kind of thing and because of the gutting I was in the house almost all day. I did go over calories on Sunday by a slice of that home made apple pie that I made and possibly a small pile of trail mix and I didn't drink as much as I normally do either, about a gallon and a quart but that's ok, hopefully the week brings me a loss come Friday. Today I have an opportunity to go to the gym with Wify as she has some appointments to take care of and took the day off of work so that should be fun and we will see if she pushes me or I push her.

My day is beginning so the post has to end, I will this week push myself at the gym, count every calorie that goes into my body and enjoy every minute of it, won't you join me?

As Ever
Me

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACYZABELLE 10/20/2010 12:48AM

    How neat when you can compare notes with someone-- to us you are OUR biggest loser!

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DDOORN 10/18/2010 10:31PM

    Always SO cool to catch up with someone who's "been there, done that!"

Don

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VANB01 10/18/2010 7:29PM

    I with you- pushing it at the gym, counting the calories and enjoying every minute! It is going to be a great week.

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SIMPLE_TAILOR 10/18/2010 1:28PM

    Sounds like a fantastic weekend.

emoticon

Here's to a great week (It's 5 o'clock somewhere)

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TRABOLD8567 10/18/2010 1:22PM

  OK I'll do that also! Congrats on your weight loss!

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HAPPYSOUL91 10/18/2010 12:04PM

    Sounds like you really had a good day and good conversation w/Rudy.

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PUCKYGIRL 10/18/2010 11:57AM

    Let's do it.

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PLUSTODOWNSIZE 10/18/2010 11:13AM

    Cool on meeting some biggest loser players!

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KAILIIA 10/18/2010 10:33AM

    Gotta make the exercise a priority this week. We're worth it.

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INIT2LIVEIT 10/18/2010 9:28AM

    Sounds like an exciting weekend. Good for you! Enjoy the gym emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/18/2010 9:28:49 AM

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SPARKYWATSON 10/18/2010 9:28AM

    You're in an elite (but shrinking) club. I bet you all have a secret hand shake and everything too, don't you?

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MRDPOLING 10/18/2010 8:41AM

    Looking awesome!!!

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Weigh in and a 5 pound apple pie...oh my!

Friday, October 15, 2010

add me on facebook if you like :)
www.facebook.com/people/Zeusmeatball
-Zm/100000803315795


Is it Friday already? that of course means that its time to post up the scales number for the week which is a little off this time around but it is what it is. I will get right to it and say that the display flashed me with a 330.0 this morning, I am happy with that number because it reflects a loss and that's where I am going with my motivation. What do you mean when you say "which is a little off this time around" man? how can it be off? that's talking like a fat person! Let me splain, Yesterday morning I weighed 328.6 pounds but weight lifting day fell on Thursday this week and instead of playing games and skipping it or doing it today I thought about what was more important a low number for the weigh in day? or making sure I trained the way that I need to and well the training won that battle. My back, shoulders and triceps are feeling somewhat fatigued as I type this and I am sure that I am retaining more fluid because of it, now don't read into that as some kind of excuse because its not, I knew that my weight would be higher than yesterday and honestly I thought that I would show no loss so I am very happy with the 330.0.


My 5.5 pound orchard fresh apple pie.

We have many choices to make throughout our days, all of us do, even the skinny people of the world and when we make good decisions most of the time things go our way. This week I got out there and did what needed to be done almost every day by either getting to the gym or taking a bike ride, for my efforts I am a pound lighter than last Friday. The weekend has some things in store for me that could end up being pretty fun and possibly motivational so I am actually looking forward to that and I will do my best to get to the gym at least one of those days, perhaps a Sunday bike ride down a path or trail.

Last night I did something that could threaten to derail me on some level, I made a five and a half pound apple pie from the apples that we picked at the orchard. I make this pie every year after our trip and I won't stop making it because I am eating better, my kids love it, wify loves it and it gets my daughter all kinds of excited when she helps me make it. I will have a slice, perhaps two but I will count it into my calories for whenever I have it and I do use splenda in place of sugar and smart balance in place of butter so it is a lighter version even if it isn't exactly light.

We have a one pound loss for the week and I am looking for a better number next week, I am down 4.4 total pounds since my run at 275 restarted and that's right on track so I ain't gonna sweat a smaller loss this week. Continuing down the road that will ultimately lead me to having the thinner body to go with the healthier me that I have worked so hard to get is what I will focus on daily until I get where I need to be. We can all achieve our goals as long as we keep on keepin' on and do what we must, the alternative is to not do anything and keep on wishing that things would be different, the thing about wishing is that if you $hit into one hand and wish into the other the hand with the $hit always seems to fill up first.

Do what you need to do and the rest will fall into place, this is how I choose to live my life.

As Ever
Me

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PSMITH3841 10/17/2010 9:29PM

    emoticon emoticon

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FROGGERHKC 10/16/2010 9:23PM

    Love apple pie!!! That looks delish! emoticon

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AXISLADY 10/15/2010 5:33PM

    Mmmmmm. pie. I had a piece of pumpkin pie at a local restaurant last night. The good news is that it was horrible and I only ate the pointy end and left the rest! haha

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JBMT08 10/15/2010 4:42PM

    that pie looks amazing! great weigh in number today!!! emoticon

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KT-NICHOLS-13 10/15/2010 2:52PM

    Wishing I could have a slice of that pie ... YUM!
"Do what you need to do and the rest will fall into place ..." - I shall adopt this way of thinking and living!

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TINYC887 10/15/2010 11:46AM

    now i hate apple pie but that looks yummy

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CARLA-216 10/15/2010 11:17AM

    You're killin' me with that pie! :)
Great job working your plan so that the scale will follow suit!

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KAILIIA 10/15/2010 10:53AM

    Still rocking your plan and that is what matters - big loss or small it's all good.

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FOXXYROXXYD 10/15/2010 10:47AM

    Mmmm Pie! Looks delish and if you count it into your calories for the day then it's all good! With the biking miles you have been racking up you'll burn the pie off in no time anyway!
Have a great weekend!

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VEMAN1 10/15/2010 10:45AM

    Yeah the trend is back!
emoticon

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VEEJAY3 10/15/2010 10:45AM

    That looks suspiciously like a homemade pie crust, instead of the (perfectly acceptable in my book) roll-out thingie made by Pillsbury in the red box.
Don't tell me that you make pie crust from scratch!
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Lawdy the bar's been raised. I'm gonna have to throw down an apple cake with caramel sauce.

So there.

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MRDPOLING 10/15/2010 10:44AM

    what a visual... 5.5 pound pie!

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HAPPYSOUL91 10/15/2010 10:09AM

    And many kudo's to you for doing what you need to do.

PS: Family traditions are important, and as you said..work it in your daily intake.

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PUCKYGIRL 10/15/2010 9:50AM

    Way to keep up the good work and have your pie and eat it too. :) Pie does look good. If you share with me, one less piece you have to eat. :P
By the way I do love your quote at the end, my hubby tells me & the munchkins that all the time about wishing, etc. His dad used to tell him that all the time.

Glad to hear that you are back on track and with next Friday 7 days ahead, I am sure that with the right amount of exercise and food intake you can do it. Keep it up, don't let go of sight of what you started for.

Barb

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MILNE81 10/15/2010 9:49AM

    The apple pie looks amazing! Congrats on the lower number on the scale. Enjoy your weeekend and whatever you decide to do.

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GAELENEC 10/15/2010 9:21AM

    Makes perfect sense to me.

Those numbers on the scale are so often not a true indicator of all the work, of the good choices that we make. Overall, as long as they are going down, we are achieving our purpose.

A day with good eating choices and good workouts is a good day.

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Suck it up buttercup.

Thursday, October 14, 2010


Yesterday I had the chance to go out on a ride so that's what I did, I took the regular trail that I ride that is about a 15 mile round trip but at every trail head where it crossed a street I explored a bit up and down the roads. The bike computer said that I did 19.5 miles so a new long distance for me was made but my ass paid for it because man was it begging me to get off of the bike by the end of the ride. I need to figure out my what to eat needs if I am to keep going on longer rides because I started feeling low on energy around an hour into the hour and 28 minute ride, the last time I took a longer ride which was 18 miles and an hour twenty minutes I ate a Zone bar about halfway through the ride and I didn't feel anything negative the entire ride. I figured that I had the camera with me and was taking a break at the end of the trail before taking on the hill to my house and decided to make another video to post so here it is.


Video can be seen at zeusmeatball.blogspot.com/2010/10/su
ck-it-up-buttercup.html


Today will be a gym day because I like to alternate between the longer rides and the gym, plus I want to lift weights so I won't be on the bike today unless you count the stationary at the gym. The plan is simple, 25 minutes on the stationary bike followed by 45 to 60 minutes worth of weight lifting and a cool down either on the treadmill or a spin bike depending on whether there is a class going on when I am there. My weekend sort of steered me off course a bit because of some not so good decisions and lack of working out but I am still looking to pull off a loss come tomorrow mornings weigh in.

Tomorrow I weigh in, keeping focused is going to be my main concern in the coming weeks, I need to get down below 300 pounds and I need to get to that 275 pound goal and I would like it to be sooner than later. With a lot of face time at the gym and on the trails I will get there, I will need to keep my intake where it needs to be and I will have to remain diligent and complete the task at hand, I will do those things and I will do them decisively. There will be weeks that I lose more, there will be weeks that I lose less, then there will be those weeks that nothing will be able to get in my way as I excel into the physical me that I am aiming for, I am taking matters into my own hands and when that happens nothing is stronger than that.

My time, your pain, I reign on you....

As Ever
Me

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNROBERTS54 10/15/2010 7:17AM

    I so badly want a bike. But, dayum, they are so expensive. I keep searching Craig's list for a slightly used one. Meanwhile, I do my walking and that is really physically enough for me

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VEEJAY3 10/14/2010 10:12PM

    VeeJay was walking down the sidewalk one day when her friend, BOTZZZ, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle.

VeeJay was stunned by her friend's sweet ride and asked, "WOW! Where did you get such a nice bike?"

BOTZZZ replied, "Well, yesterday I was walking home, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want!'"
emoticon
Just a little bike humor to help you get over the pain in the keister.

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PURPLESPEDCOW 10/14/2010 4:30PM

    wish I had some place I could ride safely.

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CATLADY52 10/14/2010 3:58PM

    Just keep on keepin on, my man! emoticon

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PSMITH3841 10/14/2010 3:51PM

    Keep on keepin' on!!!! emoticon

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MRDPOLING 10/14/2010 3:02PM

    Ever think of riding your bike to the gym?

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CODEMAULER 10/14/2010 12:41PM

    When I train / ride longer distances, I find that I need more carbs and grains to sustain the fuel supply. Cycling burns a ridiculous amount of calories, which is great for weight-loss, but means the tank hits "E" quickly, too.

For me, PB&J or even just a bit of PB on wheat can keep me going for a long while. Good hydration helps with muscle recovery, too, so make sure that you adjust your liquid intake accordingly.

I subscribe to this site (it's FREE!) and find all sorts of great bike info from repair to training:
http://bicycling.about
.com/

Thanks for the update; ride on!

emoticon

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VEMAN1 10/14/2010 12:02PM

    Stay focused like you have said again and again. Your determination may wain every now and again, but your resolute focus will steer you back. This autumn really has been nice for bike rides. I need to get a few 30 to 50 milers in before the snow flies.

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AXISLADY 10/14/2010 12:00PM

    Focus - so important in this journey of ours!

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HAPPYSOUL91 10/14/2010 11:25AM

    I really admire your focus and keeping to your long term goal. For me in the past it seemed that I would hit the bulls eye but then as I was walking to get the arrow, it would fall out. However, you are keeping me determined to finish these silly pounds that I have left.

Thx for posting and you have no idea how much I enjoy your blogs.

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MITIME4ME 10/14/2010 10:54AM

    emoticon Sounds like you're doing great. Keep up the good work. emoticon

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KAILIIA 10/14/2010 10:51AM

    You keep going and going like the E-Bunny.... I can't wait to hear about the successes and challenges we all face - you seem to take things in stride.

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KT-NICHOLS-13 10/14/2010 10:16AM

    Keeping focused and enjoying a 19.5 bike ride ... you are amazing.

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TINYC887 10/14/2010 9:49AM

    you are amazing

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BAM0827 10/14/2010 9:11AM

    You're one of the people I think about when I'm on a bike! Pushing yourself to your limits is something I admire. This weekend looks like it may be a good weekend to ride.

I know distance runners refuel with GU gel packets. I think there's some other brands too that are similar. They may be something to look into for your distance rides.

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VENISEW1 10/14/2010 9:01AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticonon going farther than ever! Good luck on your weigh in tomorrow emoticon

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FROGGERHKC 10/14/2010 8:54AM

    Keep up the good work!!!
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JBMT08 10/14/2010 8:46AM

    Wow, you are going to do it! You have me thinking about what I need to do to accelerate my scale's downward spiral....I got on the scale today, and didnt like what I saw, but I know that I havent put 100% into my new eating schedule. I am still manuvering that. I am fine tuning my menus so I have go to's and alternatives...it is a whole learning process...something that you have mastered, so KUDOS to you! emoticon

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GAELENEC 10/14/2010 8:04AM

    The scenery looks incredible!

I can't ride a bicycle at all, so I envy you having that; sounds like a great training plan overall. I love your positive reaction to all the work, it's really inspiring! I can feel that sometimes, but there are still days for me when I dread the sweat and the pain. But luckily (most of the time) I can work through that.

Have a great sweaty weekend!

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MOTTAMAMALOU 10/14/2010 7:45AM

    you certainly are an achiever and will get to your goal without doubt.
just reading what you have accomplished has tired me out and i haven't even started my day.

emoticon emoticon

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SHEILA376 10/14/2010 7:39AM

    Thats quite the bike ride:) I love the weeks when I lose weight, can deal with the weeks that I don't, but on the weeks that I gain, I can get very depressed.

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DDOORN 10/14/2010 7:34AM

    Keep at it and soon you'll get those Buns of Steel that comes from loving life on the bike! :-)

Actually, I've gotten advice from more experienced riders to "ride lightly"...don't sit on the bike like one sits on a sofa. Use your legs a lot as shock absorbers, stand in the pedals every few mins. and lighten your load...it has made a HUGE difference for me! There was a time when I would have called you a "liar" if you told me I was going to nail 175 miles in two days time...but I made with minimal discomfort!

Also as you extend your ride you will find yourself "bonking" out by using up your carb reserves...which has forced me to look at carbs differently when I'm riding a lot on my bike. On extended rides I'll actually drink a regular Coke mid-stream to keep my carb levels up high enough to avoid those woozy, headachey bonking episodes. I don't even enjoy the Coke, either...it's like I'm downing medicine...lol! Chocolate milk works for some also. BUT: only for medicinal purposes to fuel our bodies on long, long bike rides! :-)

Keep those tires Spinning!

Don

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Random randomness from a fat guy on a mission.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


Choices are what we make of them and every day of each and every week we will be faced with decisions on whether to workout or stay home, eat this or not eat that and each and every one of those choices are ours to make, we own every last one of them. Deciding to do what we need to is not always the easiest or most convenient of things, we have to miss out on a slice of birthday cake or pass on a beer with a buddy sometimes and these little things though not so important in the grand scheme are in fact things that we enjoy but making the good choice to enjoy them in moderation is key. The alternative is missing out on almost everything that life has to offer, of course I am talking about when a person weighs north of 500 pounds like I did not so long ago but I am sure that it applies to lighter people as well. The things that I am capable of at this very moment in life are more opposite than day and night and making good choices is how I changed where I was in life with my health.



Going to the gym at night is sort of odd for me because I love going at that time because I feel like I get in an awesome workout yet it means that my sleep will suffer because I am all kinds of pumped up and getting to sleep is impossible. Last night I was faced with a decision to go to the gym and have my sleep be less than optimal or stay home and miss out on working out for the day so off I went about 8:30 last night to get a workout into my day. I thought about how the biggest loser was on and I usually watch it and going to the gym I would miss it as it was a weight lifting day and I could either watch fat people work out or be a fat person working out so off I went. After 25 minutes on the stationary bike I headed over for some weight lifting which lasted about 50 minutes then back over to the treadmill for 25 minutes at a brisk pace on a decently steep incline. I must be neglecting my walking/running because my feet started hurting in the places where they hurt when I don't run for a while and the inside of one of my toes feels rubbed this morning, I suppose that means I need to do some more sprints at the gym in the coming weeks.

Two days from now I will weigh in again for the blog, I need to drop 2 pounds to stay on track with my goal of weighing 275 or less by April 1st and I am planning on doing everything in my power to get there. The food gods are not on my side though if I am being honest, I mentioned our annual trip to the orchard and some 30 pounds of apples that we have and its that time of year for me to make my 9 pound apple pie. Now I don't know if the pie actually weighs 9 pounds but its damn close and I have to make it as I have been making it for years and my family enjoys it. I have in the last couple years changed the recipe a tad bit by using Splenda in place of the sugar that's in it but it is still a hefty slice of yumminess, decisions decisions.

I am at some point today going to be riding down a bike trail somewhere because the days of doing so are numbered with winter on its way and these rides really are therapeutic for me. I found a section of a trail that I want to try out but its a bit of a ride to get to the trail head so perhaps next week as a planned ride leaving early or perhaps a weekend ride. A weekend slip will not derail me, nothing will derail me because I have something to finish and that's going to be the plan until I get to that 275 pound goal. Making goals is kind of silly yet they do so much for us as we tread forward with our healthy living plans, When I began I could not walk 1/3 of a mile comfortably and riding a bicycle was not an option. My goal was to be able to actually live and I am doing that so in that respect I have accomplished what I set out to do which is to not feel caged in my own body but now its tome to get into a place with my health that I will have surpassed just living comfortably and excel in a way that I am above average with my physical self.

Wow fat man! you are going for above average physically? indeed I am my good people and I will do it right in front of your eyes so that you can see that it is possible to do so without any fancy pay as you go diet plans or surgeries or or or... With that said its time to end this post because I need to start getting ready for a bike ride this afternoon and I have some chores around the house to get taken care of before I am off so that's all I got for today.

When faced with a decision to do something for your health or do something for leisure, will you choose your health above all else?

As Ever
Me

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AXISLADY 10/14/2010 10:08AM

    Beer is no longer on my "list" unfortunately - major heart burn emoticon but You are so right on the choices WE make - not someone else; not that little man on our shoulder!

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MEANCARLEEN 10/14/2010 7:22AM

    emoticon

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PSMITH3841 10/13/2010 10:10PM

    You bet, Health is it! emoticon

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MRDPOLING 10/13/2010 4:00PM

    The answer to your final question is Yes

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CARLA-216 10/13/2010 1:55PM

    You are so right, it really is all about decisions/choices. I'd say *most* of the time people are overweight due to the decisions they make. :::looking around::: Hope I don't have to don my flameproof suit for that comment!

Looking forward to your Friday blog!

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JMSCRIPSI 10/13/2010 9:49AM

    I've found that I can preserve a lot of the small things that I thought I would have to give up. Like chocolate, wine, and the like. But I've learned that as long as I pay attention and remind myself that it's always MY choice, MY decision, I'm fine. I can nibble on that piece of chocolate. I just have to stop before I grab the second piece. I have learned to say no to things that have been holding me back. It's all about moderation, like you said.

Great work with the progress! :)

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CINCYDORA 10/13/2010 9:35AM

    There must have been something in the air last night because I exercised late, too. It's kind of nice to get to a place where our bad decision is exercising too late, instead of spending the evening with our hand in a vat of food, isn't it?

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AFITJULIE 10/13/2010 9:35AM

    you lost me when you said that passing on a beer with a friend was a choice :) Really??? I've never met a beer I didn't drink :)
big plans for the weekend. Hubby and I are going to hike Bear Mtn. in Salisbury, CT. Looks like a great time!!
looking forward to your Friday weigh in and blog...
take care.


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Hi my name is Tony and.....

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Join me on Facebook.
www.facebook.com/people/Zeusmeatball
-Zm/100000803315795


Or at my blog!
zeusmeatball.blogspot.com/

Moving right along we are at Tuesday already, My weekend if I am being honest was very much less than stellar with the diet and exercise. I did not get out on a bike ride all weekend and I went over on my calories Sunday and Monday because of a hectic day on Monday but Sunday was just being lazy with the caring about counting. Saturday we went on our annual apple picking day to a local orchard and ended up with about 30 pounds of freshly picked apples, I figured that walking around at a fair/festival for more than 4 hours counted as some movement but I still felt bad about missing out on a real workout. Sunday turned into an all out clean the house kind of day and I did ok until one of my daughters friends stopped by for a "play date" and brought a big ol plate of m&m cookies that were still warm, lets just say that I could not resist. I was very restless yesterday and we ended up taking down our awning out in the back yard and doing some yard clean up while the kids jumped into the pile of leaves that was raked up but I ate too much throughout the day and this morning when I weighed myself I am more than up and feel stupid for my poor eating choices over the long weekend.

Its funny how eating is still a "demon" for me, it is a constant struggle to resist the bad stuff while packing the good stuff in even at this stage of the game. I will recall part of my yesterday and show you how it just happens and then an instance where its plain and simply just stupid decisions which when I step out of that it was me and look at it could use the word addict to describe it. Wify and myself were boxing some stuff to pack away for the winter in the knee wall upstairs and she was upstairs while I was down at this point, I had a pot of chicken soup cooking on the stove and had just eaten a banana with peanut butter as a between lunch and dinner snack. I look up on the shelf and see a bag of trail mix that wify bought the day before and reached in, took a handful and started munching on it, now you should know at this point my calories for the day are always figured out and that banana was all that I could afford yet here I was eating trail mix?

After I finished the trail mix I quickly did a calculation in my head and figured out that I had just eaten about an extra 200 calories so I justified it and thought "ok so I will end at 1900 today no worries". My dinner was about 600 calories, we made breakfast for dinner, I made a scramble with onions, peppers, potato and egg whites and with that we had turkey sausage to which I had given myself six of the little breakfast sausages to have with dinner. I could have skipped the sausages and come in right at 1700 calories, skip breakfast sausages? on what planet would this be acceptable? ummm this one fat boy! but alas I did not skip them, instead I had eight instead of six! Holy fuvk?? really? hmmmm yes indeed so my dinner was now instead of 605 calories it came in at 675 when I was already over for the day by 200! that isn't even the bad part of the day.

Dinner was finished and I was now at 1975 calories, it is what it is, lesson learned and tomorrow will be perfect because it has to be after this monstrosity of a day. Wify hit the sack early and I decided that I would watch "The Event" before following suit and when it was finished I wasn't tired so Pawn Stars it was, I wandered into the kitchen to fill my bottle of water up and made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while I was in there, Wait!? what?? Yes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at 10:15 PM on a school night, Calvins in a ball on the front seat....skip that last part. The worse part? after slathering the peanut butter onto the bread I thought "Don't do it stupid" I $hit you not I actually thought that! yet down the hatch it went. Lets us add that 285 calories to the already over budget 1975 and I come in at a grand total of 2260 for my Monday, Mama would be proud! bleh.. I am completely disgusted with that decision mostly because I caught myself as I was making that late night ass padding and still ate it.

This is the point where understanding that food can be and is for many people an addiction is important. I have been at this for what will be three years this January and am motivated beyond belief currently yet consumed a 285 sandwich on top of an already calorie dense day about 30 minutes before bed. Why? what was the driving force behind the late night snack? was it like a shark when it smells blood? it just reacts, is peanut butter like blood in the water to us fatties? is this something that will be with me forever? at this point I have to suspect that yes it is and will be because if I am almost three years down the road of eating better and living a healthy lifestyle yet eat a peanut butter sandwich before bed even after catching that it was happening this runs deeper than just liking the way something tastes.

Slip ups will happen, this is just something that has to be understood because when they happen it can do one of two things, we can see it for what it is and realize that each and every one of us is human and will slip from time to time or we can allow it to become the hard center of a giant snow ball rolling uncontrolled down the slope. Even after habits are made these things can happen and I refuse to beat myself up, make excuses or hide the fact that there are times where I struggle with making the best choice. What I will do is continue to reach towards my goals and bust my ass in and out of the gym to help it all along, I believe that most people that fail with weight loss do so because one small failure like a late night peanut butter sandwich snow balls into an oh woe is me state of mind and when that happens its all over.

That's all I got for today.

"Failure is not falling down, its refusing to get back up."

As Ever
Me

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PJDKSMITH 10/18/2010 5:31AM

    Ah, Tony, I have been away (here, but just slacking) and its so refreshing to know that I can come back, read a few of your blogs and sigh in relief that you keep it 'real'. You keep us motivated. You keep us honest.
I feel the same with.. what do you call it.. when you stick your hand in a bag, over and over and over, without thinking, even without hunger.. just blind eating..

I've been stuck at my weight for months. Now, I AM training for a half marathon, so my calorie intake is greater, cause I'm burning 1000-2000 cal per day that I run. Its frustrating, but I'm becoming fitter because of it.. so I'll not be upset. I'm back into my size 12 jeans, so I can't complain too much (well, I can, but it won't help).

I'm sure if I was a great calorie counter like you that my intake would be far superior to the crap that I eat now, but knowing that we're all going through similar wars within ourselves makes it easier for us to continue this journey of SELF.
Thanks again Tony, for being an inspiration!
Jenny

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RAINBOWANGEL99 10/13/2010 5:22PM

    emoticon blog! Rings so true for me... food is certainly my drug of choice... though like any addiction often doesn't feel like a choice. Just gotta keep battling it and reminding myself:
'If hunger is not the problem, food is NOT the solution'

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CALIFCAS 10/12/2010 11:51PM

  Hey! I've been reading your blogs for two years now and had to post a comment on this one. This hit home with me because I've been struggling with these same issues with food lately. Unfortunately I've let those bad choices turn into a gigantic snowball too many times. But I'm still here and not giving up, so I guess I'm not a failure. Have a great week!

Comment edited on: 10/12/2010 11:53:23 PM

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DDOORN 10/12/2010 11:16PM

    We live & learn...it's the learning that really matters! :-)

Don

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MRDPOLING 10/12/2010 8:37PM

    "Failure is not falling down, its refusing to get back up."

Amen!

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PUCKYGIRL 10/12/2010 8:20PM

    I know the feeling of eating something and telling yourself WTF are you doing here and yep down the hatch she goes. I always think afterwards what is wrong with me, why do I do this, but it happens. I think for me it is just that behaving for so long gets boring so I have to change it up. Not sure but that is what I go with and then onward I go. Another day. I am, like you, just human and far from perfect. We all have our downfalls. Keep going & remember you are human and will make mistakes but just don't, I mean don't make it a habit. We have come to far, you have come to far, to let this rule you. Get back out there and do what you have been doing, guess what, it works.
Barb

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PSMITH3841 10/12/2010 8:10PM

    Hey Kiddo...Stuff happens....it's one bad day, shake it off get back on the bike! You know the drill! emoticon

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JEWLZ13 10/12/2010 3:06PM

    Ahhh! I really needed to read this. Especially those last few lines and the quote at the end. Totally inspirational, man. It's really easy to say "I guess I'm just destined to be fat" and dive into another tub of ice cream or bag of chips or whatevs, and it's much harder to say, "Oh well, I fukt up and I will just have to try harder tomorrow." This is why I can never maintain my weight loss. I get there, then forget the effort it took to get there, and I allow myself the cheesecake, and then before I know it, I'm back to trying to shift the same twenty pounds again. I hope I can be more like you and not only force myself to track it, even when I go over, but just keep doing my best every day instead of letting a few days of failure snowball into a pot belly.

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ZIRCADIA 10/12/2010 2:21PM

    It IS a good thing - as in, you don't ahve some weirdo voice that doesn't match your appearance. Like if you had some Mike Tyson voice or something. OR a strange accent I wasn't expecting. HAHAHA. KEAKMAN talked to me on the phone and commented on my page that she was surprised I didn't have a Southern accent. :P

As for the food, I have had days like that. The same internal "DON'T DO IT" followed by DANG STRAIGHT I'M GONNA DO IT and eating and then the guilt and the why's and all that nonsense. I don't understand it all yet but most of the time I choose better and so I try to continue choosing better for myself and moving on.

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RYANDEJONGHE 10/12/2010 1:11PM

    Dude, I'm the same way. I like to eat. There is no changing that. That's why I'm kicking the exercise up a notch. Doesn't sound like you were slacking. You had a nice amount of activity in there. Did you track the slower walk and housework as your activity? I think you'd be surprised at the calorie burn over time.

There are also times when the hunger and absolute...as you call them...demons come out and everything that is edible is in danger of disappearing. I chaulk it up to "time of the month" for guys, but I really don't know what it is. I figure more exercise will help to extract that demon.

You're doing great buddy. Just get back on that wagon and keep going partner.

Comment edited on: 10/12/2010 1:13:49 PM

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CATREBEL 10/12/2010 12:48PM

    This was a bad weekend for me and eating as well! I continue to struggle with most weekends. I do well during the week with my eating and then just lose it on the weekends. I have had that same conversation with myself when I am about to eat something I know I shouldn't, but alas, I do it anyway.

Hang in there!

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FIGHT_FAN 10/12/2010 12:38PM

    Good blog! Man I agree with you it is tough. I believe it is just like an addiction. I am sure many crackheads say" don't do it stupid" right before they get high. As for advise, I have none, other than what you already know. You chose to stay the course today instead of letting it snowball. That is the main thing right there is stopping the snowball. Thanks for sharing your troubles. None of us are perfect.

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KT-NICHOLS-13 10/12/2010 12:19PM

    "...is peanut butter like blood in the water to us fatties? ..." - YES SIR, IT IS or I should say it is for this fatty. Peanut butter is not allowed at my home or the office - it's a dangerous substance to say the least.

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SOFT_VAL67 10/12/2010 12:08PM

    mindless eating, that is something i do, well, i am very mindful of it actually, but i do it anyway, rarely do i ever stay right under my calorie range and i make poor food choices, this usually occur on weekends...why are weekends so much different than weekdays?
i wish i had an answer, but, good luck to you and to all who struggle...

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CARLA-216 10/12/2010 11:59AM

    I still struggle with the food demons almost daily as well, and the weekends are so hard for me. So long as an over the calorie range day doesn't become a huge downhill snowball is so key!

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JBMT08 10/12/2010 11:58AM

    I am so glad you shared this story, because I can think of a few times where this happened to me as well. What is different now, is how I react to it. I used to go on an all out binge of fattening, not good for you meals. Now, I tend to accept what I have done, and then change it up by "cleansing my mouth" with icy water to get the taste out of my mouth. I am sure that that is probably one of my "-isms" or my "OCD" traits, but mentally, it helps me to re-group and re-focus! Charge Forth Young Man! I am formulating a workout plan during the work week during lunch. Starting at 2x a week to get it going!

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CINCYDORA 10/12/2010 11:49AM

    Over-eating late in the evening has ALWAYS been a problem for me and many a time I've said to myself: put down the snack and go to bed. Why don't I listen to myself. I can be in the act of chewing, telling myself I don't really want or need the food, and that's not enough to stop myself. I swear most of the excess calories I've consumed in my life entered my body after 8 pm at night.

If you ever find the magic secret to talking yourself out of overeating, you could make millions.

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KAILIIA 10/12/2010 11:48AM

    The best part about a weekend of bad eating is that it is never too late to start eating better again - mistakes were made but the choice to fix it is always up to you.

I also had a rough weekend with food: it is always surprising how quickly things go to pot when I am with family. I didn't even track :(

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