Wednesday, March 14, 2012
A few minutes ago, I was leaving a comment on a friend's blog regarding choices. Reading about the problems she's been having and the changes she is planning to make got me thinking--what is the best way to go bout this whole weight loss thing? Not the physical aspects, we all know that formula. Calories in must be less than calories out, easy peasy lemon squeezy, right? Riiiiight. Can you see my eyes rolling from there? It isn't the knowledge of said equation that makes weight loss so hard, at least not for me. It is the mental game; knowing that I will have to make smart choices EVERY DAY, that I won't be able to eat whatever I want, all day every day for the rest of my life. That is staggering, overwhelming! Like trying to imagine space, or a zillion dollars. My mind shuts down, and I reach for a cellophane package of goodness, figuring I will start the denial tomorrow.
Obviously, this doesn't work.
A few years ago, I lost 32 pounds. It was wonderful! But I didn't think in terms of The Rest of My Life; I thought about it One Day at a Time. It was the only way I wouldn't get overwhelmed by the thought of making these responsible choices for so long, of never slipping up more than once or twice a week. And when one day got too overwhelming, I would narrow my vision down to one hour. Or ten minutes. Whatever it took to get me past the chocolate, the cheesecake, the spongycreamyheaven staring at me so enticingly. And as long as I thought that way, it worked!
I'm not saying don't make long term goals. We have to have something to work toward, after all--me, I'd like to wear cute swimsuits from Target. Shallow? Absolutely. But so am I sometimes, and I've learned to accept that about myself. But that goal is a long way off, and there are a lot of choices between here and there. So when those long terms just seem so far away, lost in the haze of the calorie fog, I will simply narrow my vision. Focus on that next meal, that next choice.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Over a year since I was last here, over two! The weight has just added up and up and up--but it is time to take control and change that. The past year has seen a lot of turmoil for me; the loss of two very dear friends, a daughter who has "matured" to where she will barely speak to me, a son on the verge of moving out. Everything has felt so out of control, and as a result, I eat. I use these as excuses to make terrible choices, and the results of those choices slapped me across the face as I stood on the scale this morning. No more excuses!
Friday, January 22, 2010
This whole place is so positive, I almost feel guilty writing about a bad morning. Hopefully, though, if I get it out here, it won't spew onto the family.
Got up a quarter after five--fifteen minutes late, but still with enough time for a workout, even if a shorter one. When I went downstairs, daughter was awake, and nearly crying from the pain. And yesterday was such a good day for her! I thought sure she would be able to make it to school today--if she doesn't go, she has now missed two full weeks. I'm so worried, and the next test isn't until next Wednesday. Meantime, we are waiting for the results on the blood tests to come back. It is frustrating beyond belief to see her in pain like this, and not be able to do anything.
I couldn't seem to get the coordination together to do much for my workout, so it was really short--only about 20 minutes. Right now I'm trying to tell myself that 20 minutes is better than nothing.
On top of this, there is a party tonight. I am feeling pretty far from sociable, what with the daughter and the negative self image I can't seem to kick the past couple of weeks. I feel like I need to go to the party, though--it is a going away party for a friend who is joining the Air Force.
There are some other things, the small type of thing that builds up over time to all crash down on you at once. Generally, I guess I am feeling whiny, and I need to snap out of it.
So, let's focus on the positive...I did manage to get up every morning this week to work out, and that makes two weeks now. I've also done better at tracking my food this week--every day from Tuesday on.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Well, after a strong start the first week, in December, I have not been doing so well. Part of the problem is tracking my food--I know how important it is, and last year I was religious about it. This year, I seem to be having problems getting back in the habit for more than a day at a time. What I need to do is find something to help me stay focused on that. Maybe a mini-reward when I manage to do it for a week straight? I'll have to think about this more. Anyone with suggestions, feel free to offer them!
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
I find myself super-motivated today, because I have hit upon a reward system! For every twenty pounds I lose, I am going to buy myself one of the dolls I collect. Hooray! It is the perfect way to get myself excited, and very willing to stay on track.
Yesterday, day two, was not such a good day on the program. I went pretty far over on calories. Today I am feeling so hungry, even just a few minutes after eating. Right now it has been a couple of hours, and it feels like I'm going to be sick. Hopefully, this is something that will pass as I get more used to controlling my food.
Not much else to say today--feeling good about myself and the program!
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