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I'm scared, but I ain't no chicken. . . unless I'm from Popeye's.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

OK, sorry, I was reveling in a salty, oily, marvelous marinated moment.

But I am a chicken, a scaredy cat, and a yellow bellied sissy. There's a monster in my closet and his name is change.

I hate him! Somebody kill him!

For so long, I've been wrestling with a desire to change and the inability to change anything. These extra 200 pounds represent so much more than weight for me. They symbolize a childhood that taught me that it was fine to keep skeletons as long as nobody ever opened that closet door. (Warning, Narnia is not back there!)

Let me let you in on my mentality. Growing up, I would never buy Shape, Fitness, or any weight loss magazine because that would mean that I was admitting that I was overweight. If I admitted that, then the gig would be up. Everybody else would know I was fat!

How crazy is that? But that's all I know. Deny, deny, deny.

I really have been acting like a little kid, the one under a blanket trying to block out the monsters. Under my sheets, I can pretend that everything is OK. I'm fine, the mirror is warped, the scale is broken, it's not me. But when I pull the comforter down, the sheer volume of the truth is too great.

Can I babystep my way into reality?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMBERROGUE 7/25/2007 3:38PM

    Absolutely! Take babysteps all the way if you want! ~ You are who you are for a reason. And this is happening for a reason. Change ~ shudder ~ is scary for us all. Just keep your head and motivation up. You're gonna get there when you're ready for it! ~ Also, admitting is the first step towards your goal. So, you're well on your way!

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ELYSSANDE 7/24/2007 12:18PM

    Sorry -- I forget that not all terms translate :)

On the dole - receiving financial assistance from a governmental agency, such as a welfare agency; as, after his unemployment benefits ran out, his family was on the dole for a year.
dole 1 (dl)
1. Charitable dispensation of goods, especially money, food, or clothing.
2. A share of money, food, or clothing that has been charitably given.
3. Chiefly British The distribution by the government of relief payments to the unemployed; welfare.

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ELYSSANDE 7/24/2007 2:35AM

    Course you can can do anything you want to -- that is not the question. The question is, is 'baby stepping your way into reality' dipping out in reality!!

You can kid yourself of anything you want - just because its hard to do it another way.

My daughter is just like you -- It doesnt matter what question has come up in her short life so far, that required a question ,she can never make a decision. Whether it is to do with what to do with her hair, to which University she goes to. She has 'put off' these questions for three years, because she was frightened of the answer. It has caused her a huge amount of Anguish, and yet she knows, that once the decision is made, she flys. It is the choice that is the difficulty. She has baby stepped her way through three years, never really moving forward a meter.

When push came to shove - "You are either in education sweetie or its a proper job, and if you cant find a job, its the unemployment or dole" Her pride would never allow her to go 'on the dole'...she decided to get brave and go for it.

My daughter is a changed girl/woman. Her self respect it riding so high, her face is glowing with pride in her decision, she is looking forward to going.

So baby step...if you take steps, but if by baby stepping you mean 'put off' then get a grip and bite the bullet -- you never know, you might actually enjoy the ride.


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My evil plan has worked!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Ha, I got my boyfriend to join too. This way he can't prance around with McDonald's in my face. Yes!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSLADY78 7/22/2007 2:15AM

    Smart lady! :) Welcome to SP and stay in touch!

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Gang Banging with Little Debbie

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Once upon a time, in a land not far away, in a place the the locals like to call LA (lower Alabama), a little girl named Itcould bit into a juicy sourdough burger from Hardees. She was only seven years old, but already she knew what love was--beef and cheese, spooning together on a salty sourdough mattress. Yum, yum.

When not needling her grandmother to take her back to the fast food hit shop, she asked to go to the bread store where she could dine on honey buns, ho hos, and other heavenly confections filled with icing or topped with sprinkles.

Life was good, not only because it was summer and there was no evil teacher to slam rulers on desks, but because there were no evil parents to slam broccoli or other green goblins called vegetables before her. Instead, there was the fairy grandmother, Margorie. This good fair grandmother fulfilled all of Itcould's wishes: chocolate milk, juice before bed, and candy in a bowl right on the nightstand (for the midnight munchies).

Alas, when the little girl's parents came to pick her up from Grandma, they didn't recognize the little chubby girl wearing their daughter's clothes. (Side note: not to mention that Margorie had put a greasy, greasy Jerri Curl in the poor child's hair, but that's another unrelated slippery subject.)

So, that's how it started. One summer I became best friends with Little Debbie and her aunts: Betty Crocker and the Hostess with the mostest. I learned to trust them with every joy, every pleasure, and every pain. We shared a relationship of trust and support.

But recently, my girls have been much less helpful. They've become sticky fingered leeches always asking to have another 25 cent or dollar, and you didn't hear it from me, but I think they've been taking my clothes because the ones in my closet don't fit!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASILHTEB 7/23/2007 12:01PM


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AMBERROGUE 7/23/2007 10:43AM

    I LOVE your imagination! And I feel you, too. Lil Debbie hopped over here to South Louisiana while you weren't paying attention and jacked some of my clothes after pretending to by my bud. :-)

Good luck getting back at her!

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MICHELLE1631 7/22/2007 9:41AM

    That is so cute!!! I loved it.

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LEILANI_LYNN 7/21/2007 10:51PM

    Hilarious! lol ... I know them well. With friends like that we don't need any enemies.

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