Saturday, January 12, 2013
Well hello all
It's been forever since I've posted a blog! I'd like to post a more detailed blog soon but for now I'm going to keep it short. It just dawned on me earlier that today is January 12, 2013. In other words, it's my 5TH Spark People Anniversary!! Wow. Unbelievable to me that it's been 5 years since I joined. I joined this website after losing 60 lbs, but still weighing in at 242 lbs. One year after my initial join date I lost 100 lbs. 5 years later, here I am floating around the low 150's. I'm about 15 lbs from where I'd really like to be, but I'm still pretty happy with my progress and maintenance as a whole over the years.
Maintenance hasnt been easy at times, but I'm still hanging in there, doing my thing. Some improvements need to be made, but I will get there, and I will reach my goal by my 29th birthday in May
Hope all is well with all of you out there! Expect to see another blog and maybe new pics in the near future!
Sunday, April 01, 2012
Happy April Spark Friends! Remember me? Long time no see. Anyone still out there? lol Has it really been almost 9 months since my last blog entry? Wow! I'm really slacking here. I think this calls for a brief update. I feel like so much has happened since my last blog but these are the highlights.
1) I started a new job a couple of months ago. I'm working as a dental assistant now. Crazy active job I don't sit down at all during my shift! I love it though and it's not too bad because it's not a very long day. For a while now I always thought I'd go back to school to persue a career path in the dietician/nutritionist field but now I'm considering going to school to be a dental hygienist. Anyway here's a couple of crappy pics I took on my cell phone at work in my scrubs (PS scrubs are amazing. What's better than basically PJs being your work uniform? lol)
Another big update is that I've finally had a little bit of luck in the dating department I'm not someone who has ever been opposed to the idea of online dating and know a few people who have had successful love matches after finding eachother on the internet. But still I could never imagine myself going through with actually joining any type of dating website. My other issue was that I've always been too timid to truly put myself out there in the "real world" or accept advances from any guy who's ever expressed any type of interest. I was basically waiting for someone to fall out of the sky and find me without me being required to put any real effort into it. And as luck would have it, that's kind of what ended up happening lol. I was "found" by someone on (oddly enough) another weight loss website I'm on. He sent me a very short and sweet private message, and I responded and we hit it off immediately, saw how much we had in common in so many ways and it snowballed into what we have going on right now. I've been talking to him since October and we finally met in February (he lives in Canada and I'm in NY soo yeah it's pretty long distance. Not ideal but...whatever. lol) He stayed for a few days in NYC and we really had an amazing time together. He gave me my first real Valentine's Day and made it really special for me. He's coming back in April and I can't wait to see him again.
Oh yeah and these were unexpectedly sent to me the other week
In much unhappier news, this coming week I have to have one of my cats put to sleep. In my last blog in July I talked about having my 17 year old cat Squeakers put to sleep unexpectedly. Just a few months later here I am again with my other 17 year old cat Sneakers. However this has been a long time coming with this cat and it's definitely time. Sneakers was diagnosed with FIV 2 years ago and is also blind in one eye (glaucoma caused by the FIV) Ever since then, his health has slowly but steadily declined. The end of January he had what appeared to be an upper respiratory infection but it turned out to be an infected tooth which turned into an abscess. The poor guy's head was so swollen, even towards the top of his head near his ear. At the vet they drained the abscess and gave him a strong dose of antibiotics and sent him home with pain killers too. He would have needed most of his teeth pulled as well as a thorough teeth cleaning but would need to be put under anethesia for that. At his age and with the FIV that's very risky. After having a full blood panel done, we also saw he's in renal failure so even if putting him under anestheia was a risk I was willing to take, they can't do that when an animal is in renal failure. Despite his issues he's still up and about and has a ravenous appetite. However I have had to bring him back to the vet at least every other week for more antibiotics and pain meds. At this point he can't keep any weight on despite eating constantly, he for some unknown reason has lost nearly all of the fur on his back, and his infection keeps coming back. At this point the abscess came back but this time on the outer part of his face and he has an open hole that will not heal/close (probably because of his compromised immune system from his age and FIV) It's apparent to me he's never going to get better and now the infection is speading to his bone. He look obviously uncomfortable to me despite the topical ointments and pain meds I've been giving him. His quality of life is so poor and it's something I know will only continue to get worse in probably a very short period of time. I've had a lot of time to think it over and after my last trip to the vet on Friday I know it's time to let him go. He's suffering at this point and it's not fair to keep him alive hanging on by a thread. Our vet makes house calls and even does euthanasia at home so I made an appointment for my vet to come over and put my poor guy to sleep to finally give him some much needed peace after this long battle with his multiple illnesses. He has been so stressed and unhappy being stuffed into his carrier every other week and going back and forth to the vet. I don't want to bring him to the vet again and have that be his last memory. This way he'll go peacefully in my arms in his home where he won't experience any stress whatsoever. It's the kindest thing I can do for him and as heart wrenching as this is for me to have to go through this again, at the same time I'm mostly at peace with it because I know there is no other option for him at this point. He was always an indoor/outdoor cat (he was rescued as a kitten from my yard) but has been indoor only ever since his FIV/glaucoma diagnosis. He lived to a ripe old age and has had a good life. It's supposed to be sunny and pretty warm this week so since he still loves to sit outside on our lawn, I'll keep him on his leash so he can enjoy the nice weather. I also bought a few packages of ground chicken and some cans of tuna. Luckily he stil has a major appetite and still gets excited over poultry and tuna so I'm going to let him feast on as much of it as he wants these next few days.
This is Sneakers in his healthier days. Makes me sad to look at this picture because it almost looks like a completely different cat
Moving on. Let's talk about weight briefly. To be completely honest I could not tell any of you when the last time I weighed myself was. I don't even know the last time I accurately tracked my food in my food journal. I know I've been snacking way too much, but I'm also very active so I don't feel like I'm gaining much, but I know I'm at least maintaining a weight that is higher than I'd like. I'm going to guess here I'm probably at or around 150 now but I'll know for sure when I weigh myself next week (I still refuse to weigh myself when TOM comes around) Either way I'll update my tracker whenever I weigh myself next. Now that the warmer weather is approaching and it will be time to start wearing short sleeve and sleeveless tops and eventually bathingsuits (ahhhhhhh!!) I would like to shave off a minimum of 10 lbs, but possibly closer to 15. I've been gauging my size/weight on how my clothes fit and nothing seems much different than it did towards the end of 2011. But then again, I wanted to lose weight all those months ago and I know for a fact I havent. I'm back to tracking today and would like to get back into that habit pretty consistently. When my weight creeps up I know tracking and calorie counting is the only way I'll successfully lose these extra pounds.
So that's pretty much it for now. Hopefully I'll get back into the blogging routine too. I miss it and I've missed all of you! I still come here and check my messages pretty often so even if I'm not posting things too often, I'm still around. I hope everyone has been well and that 2012 has been going great for all of you out there!!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Haven't posted a blog in a while. Nothing exciting or positive to report so..whatever. Haven't lost any weight. I'm sure I've gained some since I last updated my ticker but I haven't gotten around to weighing myself. Maybe one of these days.. I went on "vacation" the other week to visit family (I use the word vacation very loosely but I'm not even going to go into that now) I have some new pics I'll upload at some point.
Honestly I've been so stressed and overwhelmed with countless things I can't even go into right now. The cherry on the cake was a week ago, the day I came home from "vacation" I had to put my 17 y/o cat to sleep. I can't believe the shape I found him in when I came home. Welcome home right? Horrible day. I've never had to make the decision to euthanize a pet. I feel guilty and horrible and depressed about it.
Now my other cat (my orange Tabby Oliver) who is basically the center of my universe, MAY have intestinal lymphoma. He used to be close to 20 lbs but he's lost a lot of weight and throws up several times a week and has chronic diarrhea. He's going in for an ultrasound tomorrow so figure out if it's possibly IBD, or worst case scenerio if it's intestinal lymphoma. Sounds naive, but I never even took into consideration that Oliver could ever even get sick. I've had him since he was 2 weeks old. Had to be bottle fed and all. And now he's almost 13 years old and seemed to be in great health, with the exception of these vomitting/diarrhea episodes. I thought maybe he had a parasite or maybe it was his food. Unforunately it's probably some kind of chronic condition. Hopefully not the big "C" but I'll have a better idea tomorrow. I wanted to postpone his ultrasound and try and get him insured before we proceed with testing and find out an official diagnosis, but since the vet saw him last week and took notes on his symptoms he wouldnt be approved. Great. I can't afford out of pocket expenses (so many have come up over the last few months I feel like I'm drowning) but I CAN'T not do anything for him. Sigh. One step at a time I guess right?
Basically I'm emotionally spent. I'm depleted and depressed and stressed and miserable in general. Not trying to be dramatic but my pets are like my children and when something happens to them I suffer right along with them. Someone please tell me I'm not the only person who turns into a total basket case when something happens to their pets?
Sorry for the gloomy blog, I try to avoid these, but I've been feeling rather gloomy and unhappy lately (not just with my cats but that's really put me over the edge). Hopefuly more cheerful sentiments will be to come in the near future.
Friday, March 04, 2011
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.
Without a doubt my daddy! This is one of my favorite pictures I have with my dad. It was taken on March 4th 1989, so 17 years ago to the day. Today actually would have been my dad's 60th birthday. This very day we probably would have been having a huge party to celebrate his milestone birthday, somewhere filled with family and friends. Instead today is just another ordinary day, except maybe a bit sadder.
Anyway, my dad is and always will be my biggest inspiration. From a health/weight viewpoint, I'm so proud of all of the effort he put into trying to reclaim his health. Prior to his first heart attack he was a heavy smoker lived a more sedentary lifestyle and didn't pay attention to his diet whatsoever. A heart attack at 37 scared him enough to quit all of his bad habits immediately. He was adament and determined in reversing whatever damage was done to his heart and I know he really did do everything in his power to improve his health.
In general though, my dad inspires me so much because he lived the kind of life I hope to live one day. He enjoyed every day he was given and seized all opportunities which came is way. He was never someone to be held back by fear or insecurities. He simply did what he loved to do, experienced life to the fullest and did it all with a smile on his face. He was one of the most selfless, upbeat and well-grounded people I've ever known and of course I'll never forget his mischievious sense of humor (I don't think anyone who knew him will!) He was also a loyal friend and a dedicated family man and really valued the "right" things in life. I'll always remember how he made sure he was home every night to have dinner with my mom I and was home every weekend to take me on miscellanous "field trips". I hope at least to some degree, he knew how loved and appreciated he really was by not only me, but basically everyone who knew him so well.
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